Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: The Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence

As Mentioned in Episode 396 – Giant-Size Special #11

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Illyana Rasputin knows what you did. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)
Bernard Chang channels Bob McLeod. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)
Bernard Chang channels Paul Smith. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)
“Well, you would have, but you left him at the altar and Rogue and Gambit took your spot…” (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)
I’ve missed these kids. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)
Well, Monet is actually two kids, and… (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)
Wolfsbane x-plains smooching. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)
And that jerk seagull doesn’t even care. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #1)
Basically, you’re all going to end up either awesome, dead, or ignored by most writers. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #2)
“Did you bring me a present, Uncle Mikhail?” (New Mutants: Truth or Death #2)
How to make a long conversation visually compelling, part one. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #2)
Bernard Chang channels Bill Sienkiewicz. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #2)
It’s easy to forget how much more control of her powers Rahne gained over a decade of comics. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #2)
Karma: even scarier than Magik. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #2)
Aww kid (New Mutants: Truth or Death #2)
Look at all that science! (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)
If this was Mystique instead of Karma, she’d turn into an eagle right after saying that. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)
Now that is a title page. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)
When Best Teenagers become Best Young Adults. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)
How to make a long conversation visually compelling, part two. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)
It’s cool, Doug, you’ll come back to life and marry a large wife. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)
Aww hell yeah (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)
Poor counterpart-less Magma and Karma look so bored. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)
Pure, uncut nostalgia. (New Mutants: Truth or Death #3)
NEXT EPISODE: Sabretooth betrays an X-team! Again!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

396 – Giant-Size Special #11

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we spend too long trying to place a time-travel miniseries in continuity, Al Kennedy does us a solid, Bernard Chang draws some excellent New Mutants young and old, Al Ewing x-plains X-Men: Red, Forearm and Random play Nintendo, and we reveal the winners of The Ninth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence!

X-PLAINED:

  • Jay’s spatial and temporal whereabouts
  • Cannonball, Mirage, Magik, Sunspot, Wolfsbane, Karma, Magma, Cypher, Warlock, and Douglock
  • New Mutants: Truth or Death
  • Kitty Pryde and Illyana Rasputin, gal pals
  • Triple-dog dares
  • Nova Roma, or not
  • Mikhail F**king Rasputin
  • The arrogance of reality warpers
  • How to write Magma
  • The Technarchy and the Phalanx
  • Hardee’s X-Men: Time Gliders
  • Farmboy chic
  • Bernard Chang’s 21 Panels
  • Branching vs. overwriting timelines
  • The effects of de-aging and history rewriting on immunology
  • Found family
  • She Who Swam With The Acanti
  • Sleep-Eeze Mattresses Starring The Hulk
  • Arrako
  • Continuity synchronicity
  • S.W.O.R.D. as a workplace drama
  • The moral downfall of Abigail Brand
  • The leadership styles of Storm, Magneto, and Sunspot
  • Himbo disambiguation
  • The fates of Armor, Risque, and Peeper
  • Mysterium Clicker
  • Santa Claus
  • The Ninth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence

(Note: Our interview with Al Ewing contains spoilers for X-Men: Red!)

NEXT EPISODE: Sabretooth betrays an X-team! Again!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 144 – Giant-Size Special #5 (feat. Kid Apocalypse)

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original!
Your friend is extremely agitated and saying strange things. Do you: a) call a super-scientist like Reed Richards, b) call a telepath like Jean Grey, or c) throw her in a straitjacket and hope for the best? (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Wolverine violently poses forward! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Cable as a wizard with Warlock as a wizard-staff? YES PLEASE (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
You can tell a lot about an artist by how they draw Warlock. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Oh, Doug the Peasant – you may not have your 616 counterpart’s mutant linguistic abilities or Alan Davis Hair Swoop, but at least you have… a mom who’s kind of a jerk? (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
“I mean, jeez, Richard! I could have been on the can or something! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Yeah, that’s pretty much the normal way to check how strong booze is. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Congratulations, Princess Rain! Now that you’re properly orphaned, you can start your quest – grab a wooden sword and cloth armor and get going! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Fantasy-Magneto’s outfit: not all that different from Normal-Magneto’s outfit. That reflects well on both of them. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
“You make a valid point owwwwww” (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Magnus’s text parser needs some work. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
New Mutants, Earth 616 style… (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
…and Earth 1991 style. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Andy Kubert draws a pretty kick-ass Werewolf Rahne. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Okay, I know Wolverine’s the bad guy right now, but that’s legit badass. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
This was my favorite part of Hugh Jackman’s Les Miserables. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Cable: master of witty comebacks in any reality. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Wolverine improving his catchphrase? Magnus playing Sentinel? This spread has it all! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
This is no one’s finest hour. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Wake up, punch Cable, fall back asleep. I’d call that a successful day! (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Wolverine, I know you meant that to be reassuring, but it actually sounds pretty threatening. (Wolverine: Rahne of Terra)
Next time: this guy.

THE 2016 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE IN X-CELLENCE

  • Best X-Writer: Dennis Hopeless
  • Best X-Artist: Alti Firmansyah
  • Best X-Colorist: David Curiel
  • Best Ongoing Series: All-New Wolverine
  • Best Miniseries: Worst X-Man Ever
  • Good Sport Award: Scott Koblish
  • Best Book Miles Wishes He Hadn’t Put Off Reading For This Long: Marjorie Liu’s X-23
  • Fun-Matters-More-Than-Good Award: X-Men: Apocalypse
  • Best Actual Wolverine Award: Jonathan the Actual Wolverine
  • Irene Adler Memorial Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Book Or Series: Generation X
  • Cyclops Has A Good Day award: Cyclops had no good days.
  • Best Stealth X-Series: New Avengers
  • Kristafer Anka Award For Best Withering Sneer In An X-Book: Emma Frost in Inhumans vs. X-Men #1
  • Wet Noodle Award: The Noodle Incident
  • Making Lemonade Award: Inhumans vs. X-Men
  • Best Non-X Marvel Book: The Vision

CLASSIC CORBEAUS (for older X-material covered in the podcast during 2016)

  • Best Cover Ever Forever: Excalibur #4
  • Buried Treasure: Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown
  • Why-Isn’t-This-Collected Award: X-Factor: Judgment War
  • Still Crying Award: New Mutants #64
  • The Unhand That Elf Award: “Unhand that elf!”
  • Better To Reign In Hell Award: Madelyne Pryor
  • You Tried Award: Illyana Rasputin
  • ABD Award: Havok, for still not finishing his dissertation

AND

  • Still the Best Listeners of Any Podcast, Ever – You!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

  • Find Kid Apocalypse on Twitter and Bandcamp!
  • Listen to Dennis Hopeless’s original, super-secret, censored version of the Noodle Incident in the cold open of Episode 104!
  • You can hear Scott Koblish’s rap battle with Jay in the cold open to Episode 105…
  • …and his performance of Jay’s song about Summers continuity in the cold open to Episode 134!

144 – Giant-Size Special #5 (feat. Kid Apocalypse)

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Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original!

In which we get a visit from Kid Apocalypse and debut a track from his upcoming album; Jay No-Prizes Community; Rahne of Terra is pretty damn delightful; Cable is an armchair editor; we finally release the unexpurgated version of Dennis Hopeless’s version of the Noodle Incident; and you remain–to nobody’s surprise–the best listeners of any podcast, ever.

X-PLAINED:

  • Kid Apocalypse (Quinn Allan)
  • Portland Snowpocalypse 2017
  • “Return of the King”
  • Rapping in character
  • Beats in the gutters
  • A vehement defense of Nate Grey
  • Wolverine: Rahne of Terra
  • Earth-1991
  • Geshem
  • Many puns of varying quality
  • EiC Cable
  • A definitely 100% true and accurate explanation of the Noodle Incident
  • The Third Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence

NEXT EPISODE: The debut of Gambit!

In retrospect, we should totally have made reference to the song “Beards Going Nowhere” during our discussion of surfing the timestream on glam hair. We regret the omission.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

 

As Mentioned in Episode 89: Giant-Size Special #3

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
It is probably okay to judge this book by its awesome cover. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Superheroes have the best anxiety dreams. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
AUGH. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
BEHIND THE SCENES: Jay keeps accidentally calling the Warwolves Whywolves. It’ll probably happen on air eventually. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Hi, Meggan! (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
The feeling of wanting to yell at Brian Braddock will be your constant and loyal companion in this series. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
THAT BEDROOM, THO (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Meggan is the nicest person ever. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Sexiest Nightcrawler! (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Gatecrasher: never not delightful. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Omniversal Majestrix Opal Luna Saturnine. You can tell she’s important because her hair is extra swoopy. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
More Technet. Look at these beautiful people. Look at them. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
London takes fancy-dress parties seriously. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Sexiest Nightcrawler stars in the Sexiest Intervention. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
“No sense moping. I’m gonna manifest a cosmic force and start dressing like I’m on Dynasty.” (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
BLIX! JRBL! VOOTIE! Your argument is invalid. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
The True Meaning of Christmas. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Elle casts Excalibur:

Captain Britain – Richard Madden
Megan – Hannah Murray
Shadowcat – Isabelle Fuhrman
Phoenix – Karen Gillan
Nightcrawler – Danny Pudi
Saturnyne/Courtney Ross/etc – Natalie Dormer

(Seriously, though, can we all just take a moment to think about Daveed Diggs as Nightcrawler? -J)
Elle casts Technet (and Alistaire Stuart):

Gatecrasher – Kathy Bates
Scatterbrain – Cara Delevingne
China Doll – Tristan Risk
Ferro – Ray Park
Thug – Hornswoggle
Alistaire Stuart – Arthur Darvill

It’s your very own printable Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Award for Excellence in X-Cellence! GO, YOU!
Jay knew the Blingee account they had registered to add sparkles to Dazzler covers and photos of Nolan North would come in handy again someday!

 

THE 2015 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE IN X-CELLENCE

23_corbeau_blingee

  • Best X-Writer – Dennis Hopeless
  • Best X-Artist – Mike Norton
  • Best X-Colorist – Jordie Bellaire
  • Best Soap Opera – Inferno
  • Irene Adler Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Book or Series – X-Men ’92 ongoing
  • Harvey and Janet Award for Best Walk-On – Falcon Pirate (Wolverines #1)
  • About Damn Time – Iceman comes out (All-New X-Men #40 and X-Men #600)
  • Cyclops Has a Good Day Award – Uncanny X-Men #600
  • Shameless Pandering – X-Men ’92
  • MetaCorbeau for Exemplary Use of Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau in a Comic Book – Al Ewing (Mighty Avengers #8)
  • Best Ongoing X-Series – X-Force (w: Si Spurrier; a: various)
  • Rising Star – Wolverine (Laura Kinney)
  • Best Withering Sneers* – Kristafer Anka
  • The Didn’t-Fit-Into-Any-Other-Categories-and-Isn’t-Technically-an-X-Book-but-We-Wanted-to-Give-It-an-Award-Anyway Award – Siege (w: Kieron Gillen, a: Filipe Andrade)
  • Still the Best Listeners of Any Podcast, Ever – YOU. Again.**

*Kris Anka owns this category so thoroughly that, in the name of fairness, he will be disqualified starting in 2016; at which point the name of this category will officially change to the Kristafer Anka Award for Best Withering Sneer in an X-Book.

**Seriously. We may be a wee bit biased; but honestly, you’re just wildly unfair to the competition.

CLASSIC CORBEAUS (for older X-material covered in the podcast during 2015)

  • Buried Treasure – Fallen Angels
  • You Tried – Magneto (New Mutants)
  • Jack Kirby Award for Best Intersection of Weird and Epic in a Single Character Design – Walter Simonson (Archangel, X-Factor)
  • Improbably Endearing Moppet – Franklin Richards
  • High Bar Award – Bill Sienkiewicz (New Mutants)
  • Most Heroic Hair – Alan Davis
  • Most Organized Supervillain – Cameron Hodge

SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR AMAZING GUEST X-PERTS:

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

89 – Giant-Size Special #3 (feat. Kyle Yount, Logan Bonner, Elle Collins, and Chris Sims)

46 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which Jay and Miles finally X-Plain some Excalibur; Kyle interviews the X-Perts; Logan gets up-close and personal with the X-Men; Elle casts Excalibur; Chris X-Plains Santa Claus; and you are still the best listeners of any podcast, ever.

X-PLAINED:

  • Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn
  • Christmas at the X-Mansion
  • The best hair in the Marvel Universe
  • The not particularly secret origins of Excalibur
  • Mojoverse anxiety dreams
  • Warwolves
  • Meggan
  • Captain Britain (Brian Braddock)
  • Sexiest Nightcrawler
  • Technet (and several of its members)
  • Gatecrasher
  • Yap
  • Omniversal Majestrix Opal Luna Saturnine
  • The Special Executive
  • Mutant intersectionality
  • Why we chose the X-Men
  • Favorite X-Spinoffs
  • Our podcast-guest wish list
  • The theoretical cast of an Excalibur movie
  • Our ideal X-lineups
  • Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
  • The Second Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence in X-Cellence
  • Marvel Holiday Special 1991
  • Santa Claus
  • The true meaning of Christmas

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!