Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Sunspot

As Mentioned in Episode 101 – Not Bad, Just Drawn That Way

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Magneto, you know that’s not gonna work. (New Mutants #67)
Teenagers, amirite? (New Mutants #67)
BLEVINS, STOP THAT. (New Mutants #67)
Chessboard cover. Take a drink, or manipulate your friends and loved ones in a complex tactical gambit. (New Mutants #68)
Eep. (New Mutants #68)
Aw, Illyana. (New Mutants #68)
There’s either a whole lot or very little going on here, and sometimes it’s difficult to work out which. (New Mutants #68)
Basically any PUA forum. (New Mutants #68)
Aw, Rahne. (New Mutants #68)
There are a few ways to read this scene. You do you. (New Mutants #68)
The problem with this era is that we can’t describe anything as “sinister” without implications. (New Mutants #68)
Aw, Rahne. (New Mutants #68)
If I had a dollar for every time I’d seen this exact scenario pop up in Seventeen Magazine‘s “Most Embarrassing Moments”… (New Mutants #68)
Spyder then posts a long string of rants on Twitter, in which he refers to women exclusively as “females.” (New Mutants #69)
INFERNOWATCH, AHOY! (New Mutants #69)
Haven’t we all got eldritch abominations inside us, when it comes down to it? (New Mutants #69)
You’re a good kid, Bobby. (New Mutants #69)
This is a man who’s one bad day away from writing “Surrender Dorothy” in the sky with iron filings. (New Mutants #70)
That doesn’t even… y’know what? Never mind. Let’s just run with it. (New Mutants #70)
And you thought your family reunions were rough. (New Mutants #70)
There are too many reasons that this doesn’t make sense to list here. Go listen to the episode. (New Mutants #70)
NEXT EPISODE: Decapitatoin and baby theft with X-Factor

101 – Not Bad, Just Drawn That Way

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which it’s pretty much always terrible to be Magik; Y is a sometimes vowel; Wolfsbane is a secret Disney Princess; feelings ruin everything; and Gossamyr may or may not be an allegory (but is pretty interesting either way).

X-PLAINED:

  • What Lila Cheney is up to these days
  • New Mutants #67-70
  • Gratuitous space spelling
  • Gossamyr
  • Spyder
  • The Accountants
  • Magneto’s ongoing slide into supervillainy
  • A few fairly specific elements of teen-girl social dynamics
  • Wolfsbane’s greatest desire
  • Practical logistics of teleporting aliens into a sun
  • Approaching the X-books as a new writer
  • Who we’d put on an all-X-Men trivia team

NEXT EPISODE: BabyRace 2000; and Archangel vs. Cameron Hodge

Special thanks to Kieron Gillen for the X-pert consult; and to Arvin Bautista for the use of “I Will Steal Your Heart.”

InfernoWatch:

  • Illyana’s descent continues
  • S’ym gains near-complete control of Limbo
  • First instances of possessed machinery and architecture

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 96 – Horsemen of the Playground

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Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
How you know a psychic event is a big deal: the cross-franchise reaction montage! (X-Factor Annual #3)
Well, that’s certainly one way to stage an intervention. (X-Factor Annual #3)
These delightful scamps. (X-Factor Annual #3)
Warlock, never change. (New Mutants Annual #4)
Can we have a moment of rapt silence for how well June Brigman draws body language? (New Mutants Annual #4)
The High Evolutionary’s head scientist, Stack, appears to be dual-wielding a cane and a staple gun. Because, evolution. (New Mutants Annual #4)
“On Wednesdays, we wear pink.” (New Mutants Annual #4)
Hell, yeah, equal-opportunity battle lingerie! (Well, except for Magneto, but he marches to the beat of his own fuchsia drum.) (New Mutants Annual #4)
Horses: totally the worst. (New Mutants Annual #4)
The scene that blew tiny Miles’s tiny mind. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
Man, if we had a dollar for every time that happened… (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
POIT: Definitely the cutest sound effect. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
In which Alex comes *this close* to the realization that Charles Xavier is totally a supervillain. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
SURE, WHY NOT? (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
Remember the time Storm had adventures on pirate space city on the back of a flying wolf? Because that was definitely a thing that actually happened. (Classic X-Men #22)
Oh, THAT guy. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
I’m not actually certain they ever followed up on this. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
It’s kind of a shame this logo didn’t stick around, because it’s pretty sweet. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
NEXT EPISODE: Captain Britain!

96 – Horsemen of the Playground

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which we play Evolutionary War Mad-Libs; it’s probably a bad sign when Apocalypse decides you need an intervention; Dani is (briefly) the new Doug; horses are jerks; it’s probably really dangerous to be Longshot; Storm has the coolest friends; the High Evolutionary is very high indeed; and we make a (very token) nod to Valentine’s Day.

X-PLAINED:

  • Secret Origins of the High Evolutionary
  • Evolutionary War
  • The actual history of eugenics in America
  • X-Factor Annual #3
  • New Mutants Annual #4
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #12
  • Classic X-Men #22
  • Purifiers (but not those purifiers)
  • Stack
  • Purge
  • How to tell when an event has major psychic repercussions
  • A Silver-Age callback
  • An Apocalypse-style intervention
  • Toga Steve (Val-Or)
  • The return of Bulk and Glow Worm
  • Equal-opportunity Hellfire lingerie
  • Mirage’s power upgrade
  • Miles vs. puberty vs. Uncanny X-Men
  • The coolest civilization ever
  • Colossus’s illegitimate kid
  • The cutest sound effect
  • Origins of the Scott/Jean/Logan love triangle
  • Stuff Jay likes and Miles doesn’t
  • The Elle Collins Theory of Podcast Roles

NEXT EPISODE: Captain Britain!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints (or travel mugs) of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

93 – The Discreet Charm of the Brood

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which airplanes are really dangerous if you’re a mutant, Magik remembers that time she dreamed about remembering a dream, those who live by mystically bad judgment die by mystically bad judgment, It’s Always Mystique (TM), and everything leads to Inferno.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • Forge’s moral compass
  • New Mutants #62-63 and #65-66
  • Empath and irredeemable vs. sympathetic villains
  • Magical postal eagles
  • Nova Roma
  • Jag-u-ars
  • Art as era signifier
  • Time travel nightmare logic
  • Sharpiemancy
  • The “last” Brood
  • Jerk headmasters who won’t even let you commit murder
  • A long-awaited roomie reunion
  • Bret Blevins’s mad Limbo skillz
  • Claremont / Simonson character maturity equilibrium
  • Astrally furry pants
  • Loyalty to the living versus loyalty to the dead
  • The Ultimate Darkchilde
  • Wolverine’s surprisingly non-metallic teeth
  • Partying with the New Mutants

NEXT WEEK: Pryde of the X-Men.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
The vaguely slapstick motifs in this story somehow make it even sadder. (New Mutants #64)
And it really only gets more depressing from here. (New Mutants #64)
No, seriously. (New Mutants #64)
Everything is terrible forever. (New Mutants #64)
=( (New Mutants #64)
Yeah, we do not have a sassy caption for this. Sorry. (New Mutants #64)
Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #64)
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
Harder than fighting Sentinels, apparently. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
“It’s four hours of me, a vacuum cleaner, and a theremin.” (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
The X-Men take costume parties REALLY DAMN SERIOUSLY. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
“Also, that is literally one of the only two non-uniform outfits you own.” (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
How not to lay out a page for coherent reading order. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
SO THEN THAT HAPPENED. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
And they all lived happily ever after. THE END! (But Doug Ramsey was still dead.) (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)

91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which New Mutants #64 is the saddest single issue of any X-book ever; the New Mutants have to grow up fast; Warlock comes to terms with mortality; The Last of Us is harder to play the second time; Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade is delightfully unhinged; animated Cyclops is totally the worst; Beast probably has a terrible garage band; Jean starts a kitchen fire; and Wolverine saves Jubilee’s birthday.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • The saddest issue ever
  • New Mutants #64
  • The only okay way to watch Grave of the Fireflies
  • The aftermath of Doug Ramsey’s death
  • Several unhealthy coping mechanisms
  • The Last of Us
  • Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade
  • Some varyingly impressive costumes
  • General irresponsibility
  • Why Wolverine is wearing a clown suit
  • Douglock
  • The New Mutants’ D&D alignments

NEXT WEEK: You never forget your first Ship.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 87 – It’s Always Darkest…

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Don’t get too attached to these guys. (New Mutants #59)
Roll for initiative! (New Mutants #59)
Lookit this E.C. lookin’ jerk! (New Mutants #59)
Truth. (New Mutants #59)
Seriously, the Ani-mator is so creepy. (New Mutants #60)
Or you could just–you know what? Never mind. Forget it. Freakin’ teenagers. (New Mutants #60)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (New Mutants #60)
Oh, THAT guy. (New Mutants #60)
How many times has he done this so far? Two? Three? (New Mutants #60)
Well, fuck. (New Mutants #60)
Well, fuck. (New Mutants #60)
Later, she justifies this by saying that it’s what Doug would have wanted, which seems questionable. (New Mutants #60)
Meanwhile, in the other 2/3 of the event… (New Mutants #61)
Even horses, Warlock. (New Mutants #61)
Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #61)
Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #61)
It really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really sucks to be New Mutants-era Magneto. (New Mutants #61)
And to add insult to injury, somehow the graduation costumes got even worse. (New Mutants #61)
NEXT WEEK: The Fall of the Mutants concludes with X-Factor!

87 – It’s Always Darkest… (Fall of the Mutants, Part 2 of 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which the New Mutants learn that they are not, in fact, immortal; Louise Simonson finds her stride; the Ani-Mator makes Cameron Hodge look downright reasonable; hating humans is Magneto’s security blanket; Doug Ramsey dies; and we continue our coverage of the Fall of the Mutants.

X-PLAINED:

  • Sugar Man
  • New Mutants #59-61
  • Bird Brain
  • The Ani-Mator
  • The Ani-Mates
  • Stylistic whiplash
  • Why you always leave a note
  • The death of Doug Ramsey
  • Black Condor’s amazing origin story
  • Interpersonal dynamics in New Mutants
  • Parsing ongoing series
  • Why Doug died
  • 616 characters we’d trade for their Battleworld counterparts
  • Storytelling trends and the decline of though balloons

NEXT WEEK: …Just Before Dawn

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 77 – Die Hard with a Lobster

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/11/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Hope you like this narration, because you will be reading a LOT of variations on it. (Fallen Angels #1)
Expounding on the Meaning of Friendship and Then Turning into a Propellor Plane with a Face: The Warlock Story. (Fallen Angels #1)
Oh, Ariel. You’re so… Ariel. (Fallen Angels #2)
HI, GOMI. HI, DON AND BILL. (Fallen Angels #2)
It’s a Madrox Madrox Madrox Madrox world. (Fallen Angels #2)
Don’t mess with Bill and Don. They will fight you, and they will win. (Fallen Angels #2)
Oh. THAT guy. (Fallen Angels #2)
Don’t tell me you don’t want to hang out there. (Fallen Angels #3)
It’s hard to be a super-smart cyborg lobster. (Fallen Angels #3)
The nature of Madrox’s duplicates is going to change pretty radically between this and the present. (Fallen Angels #3)
EVEN AMONG CRUSTACEANS (Fallen Angels #3)
Do you know how hard much restraint we exercised in not making this entire post nothing but pictures of Bill and Don? HINT: A lot. (Fallen Angels #3)
Moon Boy and Devil Dinosaur are good kids. (Fallen Angels #4)
Gomi is a conscientious lobster dad. (Fallen Angels #4)
Ariel is kind of creepy. (Fallen Angels #5)
DON NO (Fallen Angels #5)
DONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Fallen Angels #5)
Aw, Madrox. Madroxes. Whatever. (Fallen Angels #6)
“Also, you know that dream about the–” “DUDE, ENOUGH.” (Fallen Angels #6)
Welcome to Coconut Grove! Hope you survive the… y’know. (Fallen Angels #6)
Somewhere there’s an alternate universe that’s just like 616 except that Bobby and Warlock wore these costumes for the rest of New Mutants. (Fallen Angels #7)
Aw, Boom Boom. =( (Fallen Angels #7)
DAMNIT, ARIEL, THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS. (Fallen Angels #7)
That time Warlock learned to love between two issues of a miniseries. (Fallen Angels #8)
YIPPEE-KI-YAY, MOTHERFUCKER. (Fallen Angels #8)
FOR DON! (Fallen Angels #8)
Devil Dinosaur: master diplomat. (Fallen Angels #8)
NEXT WEEK: Things get… Sinister.