Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: professor x

As Mentioned in Episode 282 – The Tide Takes the Castle

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Hank McCoy is his own worst enemy–and best audience! (X-Men #38)
Bobby Drake somehow experienced the ’90s harder than most of his peers. (X-Men #38)
She’s not wrong. (X-Men #38)
“I, um, think I might have left something in Alaska. Bye.” (X-Men #38)
Every day, Bishop gets a little less enchanted with his heroes. (X-Men #38)
Aw, these two and their friendship. (X-Men #38)
[SOBS IN CALLBACK] (Iceman #3)
Has anyone ever stopped to notice the fact that Bobby Drake is a fucking spectacular sculptor? Seriously, he should be doing THAT professionally. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
William Drake: a jerk then, a jerk now. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
There is no rage like the rage of a man quietly spooning mashed potatoes onto plates. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
HE’S SO AWFUL. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Aw, these kids. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Meanwhile, in Hawk Talk! (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Planes are a Summers family tradition; as, apparently, is crashing them. (X-Men #39)
He’s a good kid. (X-Men #39)
A good kid with a good cap. (X-Men #39)
Weirdly, the heart just sort of hovers around outside the boathouse, and nobody can figure out how to make it go away. (X-Men #39)
See what we mean about the difference the right artist makes to Adam X (X-Men #39)
Man, I just want Philip and Deborah to adopt him and basically be the Kents. (X-Men #39)
Y’know what? Sure. Why not? (X-Men #39)
He came back! (X-Men #39)
HE’S SUCH A GOOD KID. (X-Men #39)
NEXT EPISODE: Still not technically Legion Quest!

LINKS & FURTHER DELIGHTS:

  • When not making our endless nonsense sound good, producer Matt Hunter makes really excellent music, and you should go listen to some!
  • Jay does not actually write things on hackertyper.com, but he wishes he could.
  • We covered Rogue’s solo series in Episode 245 – Natural Causes.
  • This is the plane Philip flew in WWII, if that’s your kind of thing.

282 – The Tide Takes the Castle

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning should really be the setting of a stoner comedy; Garrabed Bashur’s brain is probably 90% porn by now; the tide always takes the castle; William Drake remains terrible; Adam X the X-Treme deserved better; Jay pitches a series; disability is not a boolean and exclusively medically-defined state; and we are all about some weird X-Men tie-in products.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mariko Yoshida in the afterlife
  • Moon Talk
  • Some upcoming X-books
  • X-Men #38-39
  • Uncanny X-Men #319
  • Many unhealthy coping mechanisms
  • Sinister foreshadowing
  • Fancy hair
  • Commcast (Garabed Bashur)
  • Hawk sex
  • An exceptionally resonant callback
  • Intersectional bigotry
  • The domestic dynamics of the Drake household
  • The remarkably poignant return of Adam X the X-Treme
  • The opposite of a Jack London story
  • An unlikely intergenerational frienship
  • A novel use of a novel superpower
  • Mutation as and intersecting with disability
  • X-Men tie-in products we’d like to see

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor fills in!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 278 – A Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Fun times with the MLF. (X-Force Annual #3)
They were really pushing the idea that he was Roberto. (X-Force Annual #3)
I get that it’s supposed to be a bad thing; but, man, Dani’s horse got AWESOME. (X-Force Annual #3)
“Of course, they won’t need to figure out my password if they walk in on me journaling in IMAX.” (X-Force Annual #3)
The Collective Man! (X-Force Annual #3)
These two are just really not good at false identities, are they? (X-Force Annual #3)
Sometimes a family is a ghost and her imaginary baby. (X-Force Annual #3)
Alas, contrary to the implications of this cover, Storm will not be seduced by a giant statue of a lady in this story. (X-Man Annual #3)
“Chess is sexy, right?” (X-Man Annual #3)
Gene Ha draws a really terrific Storm. (X-Man Annual #3)
Do they usually? (X-Man Annual #3)
“Squares.” (X-Man Annual #3)
She’s not wrong. (X-Man Annual #3)
(It’s okay; it’s only a dream.) (X-Man Annual #3)
These are the most lackluster Lords Cardinal I’ve ever seen. (X-Man Annual #3)
“Even sixth base?” (X-Man Annual #3)
I unrepentantly love this silliness. (X-Man Annual #3)
Ugh, seriously, so good. (X-Man Annual #3)
NEXT EPISODE: NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special, feat. Christina Strain & Chip Zdarsky…
…hope you survive the experience!

LINKS & FURTHER ATROCITIES:

278 – A Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Moonstar really wasn’t fooling anybody; Bird Brain is somehow still alive; Cassidy Keep is weird; Gene Ha draws excellent Storm; Reeva Payge makes her sole comics appearance; and Shinobi Shaw is wrong about everything.

X-PLAINED:

  • A not-particularly-cunning disguise
  • Upcoming coverage
  • X-Force Annual #3
  • X-Men Annual #3
  • The MLF
  • Reignfire (more) (again)
  • Moonstar (more) (again)
  • An unconventional way to keep a secret diary
  • A bittersweet semi-reunion
  • 3Peace
  • Murphy Keep
  • A ghost, maybe
  • The kind of thing that happens at Cassidy Keep
  • An excellent burn
  • Leather
  • “Neurotoxins”
  • Sex House as the definitive artifact of the 2010s
  • How not to draw someone having a nightmare
  • A very short-lived version of the Hellfire Club
  • How not to villain
  • Coming to terms with bad fictional tech

NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special, feat. Christina Strain & Chip Zdarsky!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 275 – End of the Summer

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
HI, PROSH. (X-Force #39)
Look at this charming weirdo. (X-Force #39)
You see what I mean about the frolicking? (X-Force #39)
Damn skippy! (X-Force #39)
Well, that can’t be good. (X-Force #39)
I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING (X-Force #39)
This whole issue has a very Looney Toons vibe. (X-Factor #107)
It’s good that they can find common ground. (X-Factor #107)
Gravity: she’s a harsh mistress. (X-Factor #107)
Again: I really love the way the art here leans into Strong Guy’s inherent cartoonishness. (X-Factor #107)
Ouch. (X-Factor #107)
That cover! (Uncanny X-Men #318)
The choker really does seem to have an extra layer of symbolism, especially considering the color vs. the rest of her outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
You tried, buddy. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
Serious X-Terminators vibes, right? (Uncanny X-Men #318)
“But, y’know, good luck with that.” (Uncanny X-Men #318)
She’s not wrong, Warren. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
…it works, though. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy!

LINKS & FURTHER CRYPTIDS:

275 – End of the Summer

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Professor is too cool for the Phalanx; fatphobia is significantly more dangerous than Fred Dukes; Strong Guy catches a plane; Emma Frost will not let you coast; Jubilee says goodbye to the X-Men; and it’s probably for the best that we have avoided corporate advertisers.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mr. M
  • Thor: Metal Gods
  • Ship (more) (again)
  • The Phalanx vs. the Borg
  • Several cover homages
  • X-Force #39
  • X-Factor #107
  • Uncanny X-Men #318
  • Prosh
  • The myriad delights of embodiment
  • A complex theory about Leprechauns
  • Benefits of single-issue stories
  • Strong Guy vs. the Blob
  • Strong Guy vs. Gravity
  • Strong Guy vs. an airplane
  • Strong Guy vs. biology
  • Several explosions
  • The kids of Generation X
  • Deluxe-format comics
  • The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning
  • Goodbyes
  • Dazzler’s relative immortality
  • Jay’s X-Men Happy Meal Toy wish list
  • How to make a page-accurate Warlock toy

NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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274 – The Red Shoe Prophecies (feat. Chris Eddleman)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Chris Eddleman joins us for a close look at House of X and Powers of X; Doug Ramsey is highly relevant; resurrection is problematic in a universe with a documented afterlife; there is no reasonable in-continuity justification for the lack of trans Marvel characters; and your OT3 is canon.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Phalanx (more) (again) (retconned)
  • House of X
  • Powers of X
  • Krakoa (more) (again) (retconned)
  • Moira MacTaggert (retconned)
  • Bar Sinister
  • Sinister Secrets
  • Portentous red shoes
  • The Man-Machine Ascendancy
  • Chimeras
  • North
  • Cardinal
  • Rasputin
  • Homo Novissima
  • Transhumanism in the Marvel Universe
  • The metaphysics of Krakoan resurrection
  • The Five
  • The true nature of Goldballs’ powers
  • Trans representation and its absence
  • Retroactive foreshadowing

NEXT EPISODE: Still not quite Generation X

CORRECTION: The story Jay referred to as “Everything Burns” is in fact titled “Time Runs Out,” although a good many things do burn over its course.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 272 – Children of the Phalanx

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
(X-Factor #106)
Damn skippy. (X-Factor #106)
Ew. (X-Factor #106)
Okay, the Phalanx is legitimately both cool and scary here. (X-Factor #106)
The looks on their respective faces really make this panel. (X-Factor #106)
R.I.P. (X-Factor #106)
Oh, THESE jerks. Again. (X-Factor #106)
Forge-o-Vision involves a lot of lucite rods, apparently. (X-Factor #106)
Douglock X-Plains the Phalanx. (X-Factor #106)
Spoiler: It’s all Phalanx. (X-Force #38)
My kingdom for this panel as drawn by Barry Windsor-Smith. (X-Force #38)
HE LOOKS LIKE A DINOSAUR OKAY (X-Force #38)
The Babel Spire has some serious Inferno vibes. (Excalibur #82)
Oh, yeah, this DEFINITELY ends well. (Excalibur #82)
Presenting: The stealth team. (Excalibur #82)
NEXT EPISODE: The Summers family goes rock climbing.

272 – Children of the Phalanx (the Phalanx Covenant, Part 2 of 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Ship was inside Cable all along; Life Signs is the Two Towers of the Phalanx Covenant (but only in the bad ways), it’s lucky that the Phalanx doesn’t have WiFi; Nightcrawler embraces chaos; and we promise the crossover gets better next chapter.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Cable got his Ship back
  • Miles’s official stance on candy corn
  • The Two Towers of the Phalanx Covenant
  • X-Factor #106
  • X-Force #38
  • Excalibur #82
  • A monastery party
  • Douglock (more) (again)
  • Forge-O-Vision
  • How Steven Lang got mixed up with the Phalanx
  • Stages of Phalanx development
  • Babel
  • Giuseppe Russo, shepherd
  • The Phalanx, but dogs
  • Shinar
  • What you get when you meet a stranger in the Alps
  • Whom we’d like to see draw the Phalanx
  • Mindwifery
  • Adulthood
  • “Stealth”
  • Where baby Phalanxes come from
  • Teamwork
  • Good stories about Hope Summers
  • What happened to Paul Bailey

NEXT EPISODE: Rock climbing with the Summers Family

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!