Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: marvel girl

64 – Ski Lodge of Apocalypse

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/12/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/12/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Louise Simonson saves X-Factor; Apocalypse gets off to a rough start; Cyclops is bad at people; Apocalypse should be the Kingpin of X-Men; Jean Grey is sick of your bullshit; you should totally cosplay Skids; and Mystique fundamentally misunderstands branding.

X-PLAINED

  • The Maximoff family tree
  • The Whizzer
  • X-Factor as sketch comedy
  • Louise Simonson
  • X-Factor #6-8
  • Apocalypse
  • Bulk
  • Glow Worm
  • Skids (Sally Blevins)
  • Weaponized fashion
  • Trish Tilby
  • Favorite Claremontisms
  • X-Finance

NEXT WEEK: The Mutant Massacre!

Special thanks to Master of Maximoffs Max Carleton of Waiting for the Trade.

A very happy birthday to the Consulting X-Pert Kestrel!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 57 – Apocalypse Soon

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Listen to the episode here!

Oh, this guy. (X-Factor #2)
As a side effect of her return from near-death, Jean can perfectly recall any outfit–except her own. (X-Factor #2)
“But at least I know how to put on my goddamn pants.” (X-Factor #2)
Oh, Vera, what have they done to you? (X-Factor #2)
“Trust me, this is in no way an allegory for any other situations in your life.” (X-Factor #2)
Walls are the real victims in Layton’s run. (X-Factor #2)
Why do thugs ever fall for that line? Seriously. (X-Factor #2)
It’s okay, Scott. We’re only a few issues away from Louise Simonson. (X-Factor #2)
X-Factor vs. yet another wall. (X-Factor #2)
Dr. Maddicks: kind of awful. (X-Factor #2)
In addition to being kind of a crap scientist, Carl Maddicks is a terrible parent. (X-Factor #3)
I was seriously considering having this entire as-mentioned just be X-Factor knocking down walls. (X-Factor #3)
Jean recognize her team’s signature move. (X-Factor #3)
Aaaaand there goes another wall. (X-Factor #3)
Scott and Jean finally have a talk about–wait, no, just kidding, they’re about to get interrupted by urgent news. (X-Factor #3)
AMAZING, Hank. AMAZING. (X-Factor #3)
LOOK AT THIS GLORIOUS COVER. (X-Factor Annual #1)
Wellp. (X-Factor Annual #1)
Thank you for that highly relevant footnote, comic book. (X-Factor Annual #1)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the underwear. (X-Factor Annual #1)
Headcanon: Heinreich has worked out a whole backstory for this secretary, and he’s really disappointed that he didn’t get to use more of it. (X-Factor Annual #1)
Serious question: is this the only time Bobby’s clothing transforms to ice along with him? DISCUSS. LEAVE NO STONE UNTURNED. (X-Factor Annual #1)
How come some of these people are wearing robot underpants and others are not? (X-Factor Annual #1)
The Crimson Dynamo is not, in fact, the Red Scare. UNFORTUNATELY. (X-Factor Annual #1)
But seriously, the mix-up is pretty understandable.
Iceman vs. Iceman! (X-Factor Annual #1)
Oh, for the love of… (X-Factor Annual #1)
They’re fighting Tower and knocking down a wall at the same time! Two drinks! (X-Factor #4)
Joanna Cargill is so awesome. SO. AWESOME. (X-Factor #4)
At least he put on pants this time? I guess? (X-Factor #4)
X-Factor: actually kind of terrible. (X-Factor #4)
In case you happened to be wondering where the original art from this page is, the answer is our office. (Thank you, Tom!) (X-Factor #4)
Does no one ever use doors in this comic? (X-Factor #4)
Best outfit, best character, worst attempt at a cliffhanger. Also, I’m pretty sure one of us used to have a Mage: The Ascension character named Time Shadow. (X-Factor #4)
“It’s like we were briefly allowed to evolve as characters but have since reverted to a social dynamic we had long since outgrown.” (X-Factor #5)
True Fact: If one of you had submitted this outfit for the plainclothes cosplay contest, you would have won, no questions asked. (X-Factor #5)
And there goes another wall. (X-Factor #5)
Frenzy has no patience for your sub-par command of Yiddish. (X-Factor #5)
The less-than-inspiring debut of one of the X-Men’s greatest villains. (X-Factor #5)
Many thanks to Bobby Roberts for 57 spectacular episodes of production, advice, and boundless patience. You are the best, and we love you forever. (Art by David Wynne.)
Next week: MINISERIES MAYHEM!

57 – Apocalypse Soon

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Art by David Wynne. We're not selling prints of this one, but you can still hit David up for the original!
Art by David Wynne. We’re not selling prints of this one, but you can still hit David up for the original!

In which Miles tries to find things to like about Bob Layton’s X-Factor run; Cyclops’s life is literally an anxiety dream; X-Factor is very Leverage; Layton’s Angel is just godawful; Rachel is all about the Red Scare; Frenzy is awesome; and we bid a fond farewell to producer Bobby Roberts.

X-PLAINED:

  • An Apocalypse that might have been
  • Mid-80s X-title thematic disambiguation
  • The limited value of nostalgia
  • Creative history of X-Factor
  • X-Factor #2-5 and Annual #1
  • The baffling reinvention of Vera Cantor
  • Tower (Edward Pasternak)
  • Dubious didactic strategies
  • Carl Maddicks
  • Artie Maddicks
  • Muffin the kitten
  • Bad timing
  • Soviet mutant policy
  • Soviet robot disambiguation
  • The Doppelganger (Wolfgang Heinreich)
  • A ruse
  • Alexei Garnov, Mentac the Living Computer, Concussion, Iron Curtain, and Siberian Tiger
  • The worst phonetic accent we have ever seen.
  • The Alliance of Evil
  • Frenzy (Joanna Cargill)
  • The color of Beast’s fur
  • Our favorite X-Men toys

NEXT WEEK: Miniseries Mayhem!

Many thanks to Bobby Roberts for 57 spectacular episodes of production, advice, and boundless patience. You are the best, and we love you forever.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re not selling prints of this week’s illustration, but you can contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 53 – Sometimes They Come Back

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Listen to the episode here!

Cyclops has mixed feelings about fatherhood. (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Rick Leonardi is so good. (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Let’s pause for a moment to admire Rachel’s super sharp outfit. Those yellow shoes! (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Not actually story-relevant. I just really like this panel. (Uncanny X-Men #201)
You do you, Rogue. (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Madelyne Was Right. (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Look at Magneto on the end, like, “I’m a supervillain, and I think these people are out of their damn minds.” (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Like the outcome was ever in question. Also, how awesome is Leonardi’s Storm? So awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Cyclops’s father issues are basically their own character in this issue.
Grey house break-in #1 of 2. (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Love, love, love the way Mary Wilshire draws contemporary fashion–and uses it as a subtle storytelling element. (New Mutants #35)
This is what happens when, between the inks and the colors, someone decides you can’t show characters in just their underwear. (New Mutants #35)
Lee Forrester has no time for your ridiculous superhero hijinks. Lady’s got a job to do. (New Mutants #35)
Fun Fact: This poppy-field environment first appeared in Uncanny X-Men #175, where Cyclops used it to take down Rogue. (New Mutants #35)
On one hand: poor Warlock. On the other hand: I LOVE THIS PANEL SO MUCH. (New Mutants #35)
THE MIRACLE OF MAGNETISM! (New Mutants #35)
Horses are fucking terrifying. (New Mutants #35)
Warloooooooooock. (New Mutants #35)
Sienkiewicz eyebrows are the best eyebrows. (New Mutants #35)
Magneto is the cool teacher. (New Mutants #35)
This is what happens when you flout FAA guidelines for the safe transport of Kirby dots. (Avengers #263)
GOOD QUESTION, Captain Marvel! (Avengers #263)
Spoiler: This entire plot line is a pointless red herring. (Avengers #263)
Bonus Namor abs for you. (Avengers #263)
WHAT A SHOCKING TWIST! (Avengers #263)
If no one sends in lyrics to “Like a Phoenix,” we’re going to be kind of disappointed. (Fantastic Four #286)
1) Those credits, man. 2) THAT EPIGRAM. (Fantastic Four #286)
Look at She-Hulk and Hercules being all charming in the background. (Fantastic Four #286)
Hi, Jean. We missed you, too. (Fantastic Four #286)
“Also, there’s no way any actual human being would get that haircut.” (Fantastic Four #286)
Grey house break-in #2. Doesn’t anyone ever think to call ahead? (Fantastic Four #286)
Beast X-plains the Dark Phoenix Saga. (Fantastic Four #286)
“I’m a retcon, Jean. Just run with it.” (Fantastic Four #286)
Aw. (Fantastic Four #286)
Classic X-Men #8 does the whole thing over again, somewhat more graphically.
Next Week: X-Factor begins (for real, this time)!

53 – Sometimes They Come Back

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Rachel screwed up and accidentally gave David material for episode 54 instead of 53, so there's no illustration this week. Instead, we offer both our sincere apologies and this photo of Miles dressed up as Mister Sinister at a costume party.
Rachel screwed up and accidentally gave David material for episode 54 instead of 53, so there’s no illustration this week. Instead, we offer both our sincere apologies and this photo of Miles dressed up as Mister Sinister for a costume party.

In which Wolverine doesn’t care about your baby; Storm takes charge; duels are terrible bases for systems of government; editorial mandate is hell on a marriage; Magneto is a pretty cool teacher; Jean Grey comes back; and we have mixed feelings about the Phoenix retcon.

X-PLAINED:

  • Kenji Uedo
  • Uncanny X-Men #201
  • New Mutants #35
  • Avengers #263
  • Fantastic Four #286
  • Classic X-Men #8
  • The post-Trial of Magneto status quo
  • Nathan Christopher Charles Summers
  • A small cross-section of Cyclops’s myriad issues
  • The wrong means to the right end
  • Magneto’s educational philosophy
  • The politics of creative credits
  • “You Know Who”
  • The Phoenix retcon
  • Several unrelated break-ins
  • The return of Jean Grey
  • Jean and the Phoenix Force
  • Alternate-timeline Madelynes Pryor
  • Jean Grey’s code names

NEXT WEEK: X-Factor begins! (for real, this time – sorry about that SNAFU!)

You can find a companion index to the material mentioned in this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

 

Halloween X

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We’ve been talking up the Stealth/Plainclothes cosplay contest a lot lately (reminder: deadline is Friday, November 7!), but right in the middle of that came Halloween–and our listeners turned out in some stellar X-wear. Check it out:

If you’re playing along with the Kitty’s Costumes game, take a drink: Meghan Ansbach made Kitty’s one-off costume from Uncanny X-Men #175!
Everything fell into place for Elle Collins‘s Domino costume! (If the name sounds familiar, we’ve mentioned Elle here before–she hosts the kickass pop-culture-obsession podcast Into It.)
PenceyPreparatory makes a marvelous Marvel Girl!
Donna Danger is the first post-Phoenix Emma Frost we’ve seen!
Genkigecko makes her way into the multiverse, as Wolverine of Earth-92124!
The McPherson family of Ohio sent us this photo of what we are objectively certain is the cutest Dark Phoenix of this or any other universe.
This costume–from listener Andrew Joyce–is from a con, not Halloween; but we’re including it anyway, because it’s the hands-down best use of a Probably a Summers Brother t-shirt we have ever seen (and puts a whole new spin on Rob Marsh‘s legendary “Wolverine Meets Freddie Mercury” Marvel submission).

As Mentioned in Episode 22 – Through Death and Through Life

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Listen to the episode here!

At some point, someone pointed out that this is technically Anniversary X, and it was a pretty slippery slope from there.
We are aware that our favorite romance has its share of detractors. We don’t care. (Art by David Wynne.)
Actual photograph of Rachel and Miles at their 8th-grade graduation dance. (X-Men #32)
This is literally as explicit a conversation they have about it for… pretty much the entire Silver Age. (X-Men #32)
Proposal #1. Unfortunately, Jean is a) actually the Phoenix Force, and b) about to die on the moon. (Uncanny X-Men #136)
Not directly pertinent, but it’s one of our favorite moments. (Uncanny X-Men #137)
Scott saying goodbye to Jean immediately before marrying Madelyne Pryor. That really, really didn’t work out, but we like the sentiment–that “true love” doesn’t always have to mean “one true love.” (Uncanny X-Men #175)
Scott doesn’t actually work out that Madelyne and Jean are identical until X-Factor #14. Headcanon: Hella prosopagnosia.
Scott and Jean are reunited in a panel that appears to have fled from Apartment 3-G to X-Factor #1.
Jean gets Madelyne and Phoenix’s memories–and her own telepathy–back. (X-Factor #38)
Proposal #2. (X-Factor #53)
Jean’s response. (X-Factor #53)
“Fatal Attractions” was a rough time for everyone, but probably worst for Wolverine. (X-Men vol. 2 #75)
Proposal #3, guest-starring John Romita, Jr.’s profoundly alarming faces. (Uncanny X-Men #308)
Fate can go fuck itself. Damn, we love these two. (Uncanny X-Men #308)
There is probably no other panel from the entire 50 years of X-Men that we’ve sent back and forth more than this one. (Uncanny X-Men #308)
He’s actually fighting some dude who broke into the X-mansion and bonding with his time-displaced kid, but the basic principle of failing-at-bachelor-party still stands. (Uncanny X-Men #310)
And now, the main event. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Andy Kubert x body language. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Charles Xavier of X-Men vol. 2 #30 is the best Charles Xavier.
He also has the best timing. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Look at all those X-Men. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Can we have a moment of silent appreciation for the fact that Storm managed to find a dress that perfectly encapsulates the 1990s? (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Best vows? Best vows. (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
Scott, Jean, we’re gonna let you finish… (X-Men vol. 2 #30)
…but Rogue and Gambit’s kiss in X-Men vol. 2 #41 is the best kiss in X-Men.
September 4, 2014.

Links:

NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Miles are going on vacation. Read a book. WEEK AFTER NEXT: The New Mutants!

22 – Through Death and Through Life

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scottandjeanv3_cropped
Art by David Wynne

In which Rachel and Miles celebrate an anniversary with a retrospective of one of the great romances of the Marvel universe; the Summers/Grey family tree is more of a transdimensional strawberry patch; the X-Men play some football; Professor Xavier is not a jerk; and Scott Summers and Jean Grey are the power couple of existentialism.

X-Plained

  • Summers kids
  • Scott and Jean
  • Feelings
  • X-Men #32
  • The worst date ever
  • Madelyne Pryor
  • Plot-relevant prosopagnosia
  • Three proposals
  • X-Factor #53
  • Uncanny X-Men #308
  • “Fatal Attractions”
  • That one panel that gets us every time
  • X-Men vol. 2 #30
  • Some really excellent wedding vows
  • The best kiss in X-Men
  • Cats Laughing
  • Why “One” is actually a pretty decent first dance
  • Existential ramifications of fictional romance

Next week: Rachel and Miles take a much-needed vacation.

Week after next: The New Mutants!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 21 – Kurt Busiek at the Coffee-a-Go-Go

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Listen to the episode here!

METOXO the lava man, as teased in X-Men #48–but never revealed!
Beast and Iceman teach METOXO the true meaning of Christmas in the 1994 Marvel Holiday Special.
Angel X-Plains the Phoenix retcon. (X-Factor #1)
In X-Men #37, five reasonably normal-looking teenagers dive out of a plane…
…and then this happens. (X-Men #37)
In which Jean Grey, given the choice between the Silver Age’s two stock career options for female protagonists, opts for option A. (X-Men #48)
Scott Summers’ radio career lasted five whole panels. Here are four of them. We remain annoyed that none of them actually show him recording, because that would be really useful as a podcast graphic. (X-Men #48)
The Coffee-a-Go-Go made its debut in X-Men #7, along with regular Bernard the Poet and acerbic waitress Zelda.
There are a lot of Coffee-a-Go-Go stories, but Bobby’s 18th birthday, from X-Men #32, is probably the best.
Bernard the poet sells out in the name of birthday cheer. (X-Men #32)
Zelda’s original line, from X-Men #7 (she was originally a redhead)…
…and Busiek’s homage in the 1994 Marvel Holiday Special.
Iceman vs. ice skating. (X-Men #29)
We’ll be giving it its own post on Monday, but David Wynne’s art of the original X-Men as Enid Blyton’s Famous Five goes way too well with this episode.
Next Episode: Fast-forwarding to 1994 for the wedding of Scott Summers and Jean Grey.

Links & Further Reading:

21 – Kurt Busiek at the Coffee-a-Go-Go

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Famous Five
Art by David Wynne

In which special guest Kurt Busiek is the J. Robert Oppenheimer of X-Men, Rachel and Miles learn to love the Silver Age, Cyclops gets a job, Bernard the Poet falls from grace, we really wish X-Men: The Secret Years was a real book, everyone recites poetry, and we still don’t get around to Marvels.

X-Plained:

  • METOXO, the Lava Man
  • The true, secret purpose of Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men
  • The Phoenix retcon
  • Archival pocket dimensions
  • Enid Blyton’s X-Men
  • Early-to-mid-20th Century American Jewish Socialism
  • Why the X-Men are terrible mutant P.R.
  • Band names of the Silver Age
  • An X-Men series that might have been.
  • Why Cyclops should be the Rachel Maddow of Marvel
  • Quicksilver’s childhood dreams
  • The Coffee-a-Go-Go
  • Bernard the Poet
  • Zelda Kurtzberg
  • The Barefoot Beats

Next week: The wedding of Scott Summers and Jean Grey!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!