Can we take a moment to acknowledge how rad this cover is? Because it is pretty darn rad. (New Mutants Annual #2)
It really, really sucks to be Psylocke a lot of the time. (New Mutants Annual #2)
I’m gonna go with “because you are absolutely delightful,” Doug. (New Mutants Annual #2)
TELEVISION IS BAD FOR YOU. (New Mutants Annual #2)
It also sucks to be Captain Britain fairly frequently, although still generally less than it sucks to be Psylocke. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Illyana is the best at chores. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Mojo is the best at being TERRIFYING. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Well, then. (New Mutants Annual #2)
No, not THAT Jubilee. The other Jubilee. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Warlock has some parent issues. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Subtext: not just for the ladies! (New Mutants Annual #2)
Somewhere in this, there’s a metaphor about unprotected sex. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Dang, Psylocke. (New Mutants Annual #2)
“Aw” or “Ew,” depending on your vague guess at Betsy’s age at this point in continuity. (New Mutants Annual #2)
While X-Men and New Mutants will shortly start crossing over in the series proper, this was the second consecutive year they had interconnected annuals. (X-Men Annual #10)
Danger Room open. Take a drink. (X-Men Annual #10)
VALID QUESTIONS. (X-Men Annual #10)
Welcome to the X-Men, Longshot! Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men Annual #10)
Teen Magneto always looks super smug, presumably because of his excellent hair. (X-Men Annual #10)
Meet the proto-X-Babies! (X-Men Annual #10)
Fun fact: For a long time, Wolverine’s claws were believed to be–and written as–technology rather than an aspect of his mutation. (X-Men Annual #10)
These graduation costumes look like things you would make someone wear as part of some kind of oblique punishment. (X-Men Annual #10)
The second round of graduation costumes weren’t much better. (New Mutants #61)
Darla is inexplicably dressed as Li’l Orphan Annie, which might make this a meta cameo. (X-Men Annual #10)
These costumes are not okay, but Magneto’s is 100% less okay than any of the others. (Note: in other panels, the arm band is generally colored red.) (X-Men Annual #10)
I am totally willing to believe that the Simonsons can comprehend the language of beasts, or at least of Thor’s frog bros. (X-Men Annual #10)
The X-Men are uncharacteristically bloodthirsty throughout this issue. (X-Men Annual #10)
ART CHALLENGE: Design a new graduationcostume for one or more of the New Mutants! Send your designs to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, with the subject line GRADUATION, and we’ll collect ‘em on the blog at the end of the week!
In which cartoon logic is terrifying; it’s immensely frustrating to be Doug Ramsey; Psylock gets evil robot eyes; queer subtext is not just for the ladies; Danger Room cold opens are the new Kitty’s costume changes; Mojo predicts reality TV; Longshot joins the X-Men; and we answer what may be the best question we have ever gotten.
X-PLAINED:
Captain Britain Corps
Alan Davis
New Mutants Annual #2
X-Men Annual #10
Captain Britain (Brian Braddock)
Psylocke (Betsy Braddock)
Slaymaster
Mojo
Why cartoon logic is terrifying
Animal Man vol. 1 #5, “The Coyote Gospel” (Incorrectly described as “The Ballad of Wile E. Coyote” in episode)
Wildways
Robot eyes
Template
Snitch
Straight Arrow
Jubilee (but not that Jubilee)
The trouble with determining character ages in superhero comics
The stated mission of the New Mutants
The proto-X-Babies
Longshot’s X-Men debut
The New Mutants’ graduation costumes
A really charged costume choice
Tonal shifts in New Mutants
X-Men vs. geese
NEXT WEEK: APOCALYPSE NOW!
ART CHALLENGE: Design a new graduationcostume for one or more of the New Mutants! Send your designs to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, with the subject line GRADUATION, and we’ll collect ‘em on the blog at the end of the week!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Special thanks to Ryan Hill for this week’s art, and to Claire Miller for the research X-Pertise!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/21/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
So much love for this cover. (New Mutants #41)
Danielle Moonstar on cultural identity. (New Mutants #41)
I guess when you’ve spent ten years trapped in a demon bear, it’s easier to take things like flying horses in stride. (New Mutants #41)
“Ill wind.” Who even says that? (New Mutants #41)
SPOILER: This does not end well. (New Mutants #41)
Yeah, I can see how that might put a crimp into a friendship. (New Mutants #41)
Oof. (New Mutants #41)
How badass is Dani? BADASS ENOUGH TO SHOUT DOWN DEATH. (New Mutants #41)
On the list of iconic showdowns of New Mutants, this one will always be near the top. (New Mutants #41)
A very different brush with death. (New Mutants #41)
There’s a lot going on here, but the best part is that Lila is wearing a Lila t-shirt. (New Mutants #42)
AW, SAM. (New Mutants #42)
Headcanon: Sam never has any idea what his mom’s going to look like when he gets home. (New Mutants #42)
In Joshua’s defense, his fears will turn out to have been ENTIRELY JUSTIFIED. (New Mutants #42)
Damnit, Sam. (New Mutants #42)
Later, he’ll sprout wings, but we try not to talk about that story. (New Mutants #42)
Lila goes and changes, but seriously, how great is this look? SO GREAT, RIGHT? (New Mutants #42)
This does not seem like safe behavior around an aircraft in flight. (New Mutants #43)
In which Sunspot does his best Miles. (New Mutants #43)
Aw, they’re so happy. About revenge. (New Mutants #43)
In the New Mutants’ defense, Empath is in fact the literal worst. (New Mutants #43)
Have I mentioned recently how goddamn underrated Doug Ramsey is? Doug Ramsey is so goddamn underrated. (New Mutants #43)
Moment of silence for Dani’s super awesome Kyle Baker-inked hair. (New Mutants #44)
Illyana’s door signs are pretty priceless. (New Mutants #44)
Friendship! (New Mutants #44)
Kinda love the team reaction shot going on here. (New Mutants #44)
If Reverend Craig were an ice cream flavor, he’d be Presbyterianism and dick. (New Mutants #44)
Changing in a parking lot on the way to a school dance is about as New Mutants as it gets. (New Mutants #45)
Our first introduction to Larry Bodine. (New Mutants #45)
They’re talking about two entirely different things, but only one of them realizes it. (New Mutants #45)
THESE jerks. (New Mutants #45)
X-Factor keeps popping up as the off-screen bogeyman in other titles. (New Mutants #45)
Oh, Larry, no. (New Mutants #45)
(New Mutants #45)
Warlock trying to understand death is pretty much always the saddest thing. (New Mutants #45)
Aw, Kitty. (New Mutants #45)
Aw, everyone. (New Mutants #45)
Trivia: This scene has been referenced in a number of flashbacks, but it’s almost always misidentified as Doug Ramsey’s funeral. (New Mutants #45)
It’s really remarkable how consistent the evolution of Kitty’s feelings about identity politics has been, from here, through Mekanix, and into All-New X-Men. (New Mutants #45)
Next Week: GIANT-SIZE SUMMER SPECIAL SUPER TABLETOP TEAM-UP!
Advice for intervention if you suspect that someone you know may be suicidal: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/suicide-prevention-helping-someone-who-is-suicidal.htm
In which the band gets back together; Dani faces down Death; Sam takes Lila home to meet his mom; revenge is a dish best left unserved; there is nothing sadder than Warlock confused by the concept of death; Kitty Pryde has a some opinions about identity politics; and X-Men has not been great with textual representations of neurodiversity.
NOTE: Given some of the material covered in this episode, we wanted to link a few resources below, for anyone who might need them:
Advice for intervention if you suspect that someone you know may be suicidal: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/suicide-prevention-helping-someone-who-is-suicidal.htm
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/14/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
The last thing you see before you die. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
Do you ‘ship Storm and Bree Morrell now? You probably should. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
The outfits in this arc are just 100% amazing. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
Damnit, Rachel. This is why we can’t have nice things. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
“Teamwork! Our only weakness!” (Uncanny X-Men #206)
“It’s Madelyne! They’ve shot her! And dyed her hair! And given her fairly extensive cosmetic surgery!” (Uncanny X-Men #206)
Wolverine hates Arizona. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
We were going to make up a drinking game based around how many times Wolverine really or metaphorically kills Rachel in this story, but you would die of alcohol poisoning by the end of the first issue. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Spoiler: It’s a metaphor. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
THE OUTFITS, THO. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
…And again. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Same song, different issue. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Neither of you is wrong. You’re just both assholes. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Well, that escalated quickly. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
THOSE. OUTFITS. THO. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Kitty tells it like it is. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Damnit, Selene. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Feelings are boring. Murder is awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
It really sucks to be a mortally wounded telepath, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Oh, SNAP. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
What. Selene. No. What are you even doing. No, Selene. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
No, but seriously: costume satin, right? (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Never not funny. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
And then, it got weird. Weirder. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
‘Kay. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
That one time a member of the Inner Circle wore a costume so bad it actually killed him. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Fun fact: this is the second time they’ve pulled this particular move. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
In which Rachel Summers went to sleep with Wolverine’s claws in her dreams and now there’s claws in her lungs and when she got out of bed this morning she tripped on her traumatic backstory and by mistake she dropped the Phoenix Force in the sink while the water was running and she could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
X-PLAINED:
Freedom Force
Supervillains’ day jobs
Uncanny X-Men #206-209
The X-Men’s first brief tenure in San Francisco
Terrible house guests
Lindsay McCabe
David Ishima
Bree Morrell
A metaphorical ghost story
Lycanthropy, but dumber
The crossing of several ethical lines
Death by narrative stasis (and also impaling)
Craft night at the Hellfire Club
Death by costume satin (and also heart failure)
One way to write someone out of a book
Our favorite Summers kids
X-Music
Special thanks to Elle Collins
NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants break your heart.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/31/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
We encourage you to judge this book by its cover. (Nightcrawler #1)
WELL DONE. (Nightcrawler #1)
No idea whether “Boggie” is actually a Bored of the Rings reference, but we’d like to think so. (Nightcrawler #1)
Yowza! (Nightcrawler #1)
We want a vacation home in Dave Cockrum’s brain. (Nightcrawler #1)
AND THEN A SHARK WIZARD HAPPENED. (Nightcrawler #1)
Things about this series that are absolutely delightful: all of them. (Nightcrawler #2)
Boggies X-Plain the plot. (Nightcrawler #2)
OH HELL YES (Nightcrawler #2)
Whoops. (Nightcrawler #2)
Don’t get comfortable! You’ve still got two issues to go! (Nightcrawler #2)
Bamfs are basically terrible sex smurfs. (Nightcrawler #3)
Meen. It’s spelled M-E-E-N. (Nightcrawler #3)
Suuuuuure, we’ve heard that one before. (Nightcrawler #3)
Wellp. (Nightcrawler #3)
X-cellent use of sound effects. (Nightcrawler #3)
Lady Bamfs are ALSO terrible sex Smurfs. (Nightcrawler #4)
CRETACEOUS SAM, WE LOVE YOU. (Nightcrawler #4)
That Illyana Rasputin owns a prodigious collection of pornography is the least surprising revelation of this series. (Nightcrawler #4)
In his defense, she does have extra fancy hair. (Iceman #1)
“You don’t steal another man’s elemental puns!” (Iceman #1)
If we had a dollar for every time this happened… (Iceman #1)
Aw, Bobby. (Iceman #1)
This could definitely not be read as an allegory for anything else ever, right? (Iceman #1)
This is basically how all of our family reunions go, too.
Sneaking in the window, in his underwear (costume, but STILL), carrying an interdimensional projector: kind of the perfect Bobby Drake moment, no? (Iceman #2)
Kiiiinda wishing they’d gone with Freaky Friday instead of Back to the Future, but whatever. (Iceman #2)
I bet at times like this, Bobby seriously questions his choice of superhero costume. (Iceman #2)
Well, that got grim fast. (Iceman #2)
“Man, Marty McFly never had to deal with this shit!” (Iceman #2)
And now, a surreal existential hellscape! (Iceman #3)
Not gonna lie: I love the hell out of this version of the X-Men. (Iceman #3)
NO SERIOUSLY IT’S EVIL PALETTE-SWAPPED ORKO (Iceman #3)
Oblivion X-Plains the story so far. (Iceman #3)
Teenagers, man. (Iceman #3)
Parents: the same in any dimension. (Iceman #4)
Iceman getting universe-defying moments of heroism is rare and pretty much universally awesome. (Iceman #4)
THIS FUCKING MINISERIES, MAN. (Iceman #4)
If we had to sum up Iceman in one image, it’d be this one. (Iceman #4)
The implications for multiversal continuity are kind of staggering. (Iceman #4)
Spoiler: This does not actually change anything. (Iceman #4)
Next Week: X-Men ’92, with Chris Sims and Chad Bowers!
In which Nightcrawler does Weird Tales; Iceman does Back to the Future; we want a vacation home in Dave Cockrum’s brain; Bamfs are terrible; the 1983 Iceman miniseries is straight-up bananas; parents just don’t understand; and Rachel will take literally any excuse to talk smack about John Ruskin.
X-PLAINED:
Vanisher
Nightcrawler #1-4
Bizarre Adventures #27
Iceman #1-4
The Well at the Center of Time
The downside to hanging out with pirates
A shark wizard in a tiny loincloth
Better living through sound-effect awareness
Boggies
The key to a classic Nightcrawler story
Earth-5311
Bamfs
The full extent of Rachel’s Smurfs knowledge
Cretaceous Sam
Sehv
Illyana Rasputin’s porn collection
The Drake family
An exceptionally unlikely girl next door
The definitive Miles’s Mom anecdote
Marge Smith / Mirage
White Light
Idiot
Kali (but not that one)
Two generations of Officers Ratchit
Pornography no one wants to see
Death by time travel
Oblivion
Night Man (kinda)
Our ideal cross-media adaptations
NEXT WEEK: X-Men ’92, with Chris Sims and Chad Bowers!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
I like this episode, because this is where Evolution starts to catch its stride and find its voice. “Middleverse” is kind of a mess animation-wise, but it’s also a one-off, a lighthearted breath of fresh air before we dive headfirst into the Big Ongoing Story next episode.
It also gets bonus points for being a Forge episode, which is almost always a plus. Comics Forge tends to be dark and brooding and at the center of convoluted storylines and soap opera, but two out of three animated Forges are uncomplicatedly delightful. The best animated Forge, of course, is Wolverine and the X-Men Forge, who just straight-up is Miles to the extent that we had his action figure in college and more than one person assumed it was a custom portrait. But Evolution Forge is pretty great, too.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/17/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Bobby makes some valid points. (New Mutants #36)
Remember being fourteen? (And also a mutant superhero?) (New Mutants #36)
Damnit, Beyonder. (New Mutants #36)
Hey, look! It’s a literal derailment in the middle of a metaphorical derailment! (New Mutants #36)
Don’t you hate it when your best friend’s soul gets split by a cosmic force and suddenly you’re stuck with her eldritch armor, weapon, and amulet, when all you really wanted was a library book? Yeah, us, too. (New Mutants #36)
Not even being brainwashed and absorbed into a cosmic hive-mind can come between Cannonball and his classic science fiction allusions. (New Mutants #36)
Aw, Illyana. (New Mutants #36)
This cover = Rachel’s definitive Beyonder. (New Mutants #37)
The New Mutants have the best incidental moments by a wide margin. (New Mutants #37)
Seriously: WHO THE HELL IS THAT ABOVE RAHNE? (New Mutants #37)
Relevant metaphor is relevant. (New Mutants #37)
THE BEYONDER IS A DICK. (New Mutants #37)
THAT IS NO EXCUSE. (New Mutants #37)
The Beyonder comes off as a petulant child in a lot of Secret Wars, but in New Mutants, he’s legitimately terrifying. (New Mutants #37)
Headcanon: In Marvel Asgard, there is at least one legit full-length saga about this storyline, focused on Dani. (New Mutants #37)
This cover. This scene. This series. (New Mutants #38)
Of all the scenes in all the issues of New Mutants, NONE has ever stuck with Rachel as hard as this one. (New Mutants #38)
Aw, kids. (New Mutants #38)
YES (New Mutants #38)
Is there a better pep talk than a pep talk from FROG THOR? We think not. (New Mutants #38)
Warlock, you delightful scamp! (New Mutants #38)
Empath is the worst ever forever. (New Mutants #38)
That “Next Issue” blurb, tho. (New Mutants #38)
Another memorable cover. (New Mutants #39)
Aw, man. (New Mutants #39)
Sadneto. (New Mutants #39)
Keith Pollard’s Emma is so good. (New Mutants #39)
It just DOES NOT STOP SUCKING to be Tom and Sharon. (New Mutants #39)
Madneto! (New Mutants #39)
Emma Frost, you sneaky person! (New Mutants #39)
WARLOCK IS THE BLACKBIRD. YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID. (New Mutants #40)
Magneto is trying so hard to be the man he promised Xavier he’d be. Poor guy. (New Mutants #40)
Really, Cap? Really? You gonna go there? (New Mutants #40)
Teacher Magneto might be the best Magneto. Definitely one of the most critically unremembered and underused. (New Mutants #40)
Aw, New Mutants. (New Mutants #40)
The perfect Emma Frost moment. (New Mutants #40)
Next Week: Angel in tiny briefs (more) (again), too much Tower, and the dubious debut of Apocalypse!
LINKS AND FURTHER READING:
Yaybo! Marvel Unlimited added New Mutants #36-40 just in time for this episode (starting here)!
In terms of formative influence, Kyle Baker’s Why I Hate Saturn was basically Rachel’s third parent.