Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Jaspers Warp

As Mentioned in Episode 220 – On Your Bike

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Who wore it better? (Excalibur #61)
I’m pretty sure nobody actually cares about Micromax; but, whatever. (Excalibur #61)
Widget, stop that immediately. (Excalibur #61)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (Excalibur #61)
If there’s anything this series has taught us, it’s never to trust a man named Nigel. (Excalibur #62)
In case you’re wondering, most of this visual companion is going to be pictures of cool-looking Warpies. (Excalibur #62)
No, seriously. (Excalibur #62)
Aw, Beetroot. (Excalibur #62)
This poor kid. (Excalibur #62)
*Snerk* (Excalibur #62)
WARPIES, THO (Excalibur #63)
Aw. (Excalibur #63)
What’s that you say? More Warpies? WE’VE GOT YOUR BACK! (Excalibur #63)
I’m not even going to bother captioning these. You know the drill. (Excalibur #63)
(Excalibur #63)
(Excalibur #63)
Widget and the amazing technicolor future genocide by giant r–well, that took a bit of a turn. (Excalibur #64)
PRO TIP: If you stare long enough at your friends and neighbors’ faces without blinking, they will also do this eventually. (Excalibur #65)
Rowr. (Excalibur #65)
“Well, that can’t be good.” (Excalibur #65)
Ouch, dang. (Excalibur #65)
Aw, Oak. You’re a good dude. (Excalibur #65)
And that, as they say, is that. For now. (Excalibur #65)
NEXT EPISODE: Space Fight!

LINKS & FURTHER DUBIOUS LIFE CHOICES:

220 – On Your Bike

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we approach the end of Alan Davis’s Excalibur run; “duopenultimate” is not actually a word; Captain Britain pops the question; we do in fact (kinda) get follow-up on Alysande Stuart’s death; Miles needs to get a little less credulous about bureaucrats’ good intentions; Shadowcat engages in espionage; Nightcrawler and Cerise are tactically saucy; and the sun definitely ought to set on the British Empire.

X-PLAINED:

  • Warpies
  • Excalibur #61-65
  • The Jaspers Warp (more) (again)
  • The RCX (more) (again)
  • Agents Gabriel and Michael
  • What happened to Jay’s mom’s Hypercolor™ T-shirt
  • What not to do with a dead parrot
  • Several Hamlet references
  • Scott Wright (MicroMax)
  • The Cherubim
  • Cloud Nine
  • Agent Peter (Nigel Orpington-Smythe)
  • Warpie naming conventions
  • Beetroot
  • Screen tone
  • An idiom
  • Evasive makeouts
  • A specific thing on The Gifted
  • Why Kitty Pryde tends to go by her given name

NEXT EPISODE: Space Fight!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 98 – Between Alien Visitations and Drunken Sulks

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Hello, Meggan!
Say what you will about Dai Thomas; the man is thorough.
The Crazy Gang tries so hard.
These dudes really really seem like they must be a reference to something, but we were unable to dig up a clear source.
Also how we found Kyle.
She may be the evil dictator of a crypto-Nazi dystopian Earth, but damned if Sat-Yr-Nin doesn’t have great hair.
It’s kind of charming how petty Brian gets when he’s feeling self-righteous.
Sidney Crumb is ill.
Aw, man.
I’m’a let you finish, X-Men, but this is the best team in the Marvel Universe.
Captain Britain is a superhero comic that is also an extended metaphor that is also a superhero comic.
One more Technet group shot, just because.
Brian Braddock summed up in a single panel.
The Cherubim. Don’t get too attached–they’re super doomed.
Okay, then.
Captain U.K. and her therapy mullet.
Meanwhile at Stately Braddock Manor…
The real superpower is adherence to narrow beauty standards, but flight is also pretty cool.
This sequence really needs to be set to the Benny Hill theme.
Oldest trap in the book.
MORE TECHNET! It’s Technet Christmas!
There’s probably a universe where Captain Britain is in fact a girl gang, and that’s the universe where I want to live.
Fridging summed up in a single panel.
Remember that time the protagonist, a superhero, straight-up smashed a dude’s head in with a boulder? Because that definitely happened in this comic.
Don’t quit your day job, kid.
Hardboiled gangster Meggan is the goddamn best.
No, seriously, there should be a whole comic that’s just about the two of them doing this.
That RICK sound effect, tho.
OH, HI.
And they all lived happily ever after, but not really, because that doesn’t make for a very interesting ongoing series.
NEXT EPISODE: Genosha is for lovers!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

 

98 – Between Alien Visitations and Drunken Sulks

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which we continue our coverage of pre-Excalibur Captain Britain; S.T.R.I.K.E. is D.U.C.K. is W.H.O.; the R.C.X. is one lapse in judgment away from on-the-job cosplay; Meggan levels up; your name will never be as cool as Doctor Crocodile’s; Technet writes their own cold opens; and we announce the upcoming debut of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men!

 

X-PLAINED:

  • A large number of acronyms
  • Irony
  • Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
  • Mighty World of Marvel #14-16
  • Captain Britain #1-14
  • The aftermath of the Jaspers Warp
  • Inspector Dai Thomas
  • How to work out a superhero’s secret identity
  • The Crazy Gang (more) (again)
  • Slaymaster
  • Captain Britain’s costume
  • Sidney Crumb
  • Gatecrasher’s Technet (more) (again)
  • Earth-794
  • Kaptain Briton
  • Sat-Yr-Nin
  • The R.C.X.
  • Agents Gabriel & Michael
  • The Warpies
  • The Cherubim
  • Meggan (more) (again)
  • Doctor Crocodile
  • Jamie Braddock
  • Betsy Braddock’s short and calamitous tenure as Captain Britain
  • Women in Refrigerators
  • Our thoughts on the X-movies
  • Mutant heredity

NEXT EPISODE: Genosha Is for Lovers

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 97 – The Crooked World

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Listen to the episode here.

The Story So Far.
How awesome a group cosplay would this be? (Answer: so awesome.)
That’s quite a battle cry, Cap.
THIS GUY.
Jim Jaspers X-Plains Jim Jaspers (but leaves out the part where he prosecutes Magneto).
The first death of Captain Britain.
“Have fun with that, dude!”
“Show, don’t tell” in action.
There’s nothing more awkward than coming home to discover that your house has been taken over by an evil supercomputer.
Slaymaster and his amazing mustache.
This heist…
…is the best heist…
…even if it doesn’t end quite as planned.
Captain Albion is by far and away the best-dressed member of the Captain Britain corps.
Welcome to your nightmares for the next week.
Future Traumatic Stress Disorder is no laughing matter.
We have never identified so hard with Captain Britain as we did in this moment.
Seriously, though, can’t you see it as a sitcom?
Oh, that’ll end well.
*shudder*
Again: We cannot overemphasize how scary the Fury is.
It’s Meggan’s first appearance! HI, MEGGAN!
Speaking of first appearances (well, at least in 616), here’s the Crazy Gang!
(Immediately followed by one of the most satisfying ass-kickings in any superhero comic, ever.)
It’s okay. He’s only faking.
WHY DOES NO ONE EVERY GROUP-COSPLAY THE CAPTAIN BRITAIN CORPS? Maybe they do in the U.K. We fervently hope so.
NEXT WEEK: But wait! There’s more!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

97 – The Crooked World

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which we venture out of our wheelhouse; Contest of Champions is ridiculous in any medium; Captain Britain would like you to unhand that elf; the Fury is legitimately terrifying; the Special Executive is the best at heists; Brian Braddock knows exactly what he’s getting into; Merlyn is the multiversal Charles Xavier; and this is really just the tip of the iceberg.

X-PLAINED:

  • Various Contests of Champions
  • ISO-8
  • Marvel UK
  • Marvel Superheroes 377-388
  • Daredevils 1-11
  • Mighty World of Marvel 7-13
  • Captain Britain (Brian Braddock)
  • Jackdaw
  • Earth-238
  • Mad Jim Jaspers
  • The Crazy Gang
  • Algernon the Rat
  • Omniversal Majestrix Opal Luna Saturnyne
  • Life-Enhancing Fluid
  • The Fury
  • Alan Moore juvenilia
  • The (first) death and rebirth of Captain Britain
  • How to make a retcon work
  • Mastermind (but not that Mastermind)
  • Emma Collins
  • Pre-Psylocke Betsy Braddock
  • S.T.R.I.K.E.
  • Vixen
  • Slaymaster
  • The Trial of Saturnyne
  • The Special Executive
  • Mandragon
  • The Captain Britain Corps
  • Captain U.K. (Linda McQuillan)
  • Marvelman vs. Miracleman
  • Future Traumatic Stress Disorder

NEXT EPISODE: But wait! There’s more!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 89: Giant-Size Special #3

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
It is probably okay to judge this book by its awesome cover. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Superheroes have the best anxiety dreams. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
AUGH. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
BEHIND THE SCENES: Jay keeps accidentally calling the Warwolves Whywolves. It’ll probably happen on air eventually. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Hi, Meggan! (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
The feeling of wanting to yell at Brian Braddock will be your constant and loyal companion in this series. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
THAT BEDROOM, THO (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Meggan is the nicest person ever. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Sexiest Nightcrawler! (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Gatecrasher: never not delightful. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Omniversal Majestrix Opal Luna Saturnine. You can tell she’s important because her hair is extra swoopy. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
More Technet. Look at these beautiful people. Look at them. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
London takes fancy-dress parties seriously. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Sexiest Nightcrawler stars in the Sexiest Intervention. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
“No sense moping. I’m gonna manifest a cosmic force and start dressing like I’m on Dynasty.” (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
BLIX! JRBL! VOOTIE! Your argument is invalid. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
The True Meaning of Christmas. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Elle casts Excalibur:

Captain Britain – Richard Madden
Megan – Hannah Murray
Shadowcat – Isabelle Fuhrman
Phoenix – Karen Gillan
Nightcrawler – Danny Pudi
Saturnyne/Courtney Ross/etc – Natalie Dormer

(Seriously, though, can we all just take a moment to think about Daveed Diggs as Nightcrawler? -J)
Elle casts Technet (and Alistaire Stuart):

Gatecrasher – Kathy Bates
Scatterbrain – Cara Delevingne
China Doll – Tristan Risk
Ferro – Ray Park
Thug – Hornswoggle
Alistaire Stuart – Arthur Darvill

It’s your very own printable Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Award for Excellence in X-Cellence! GO, YOU!
Jay knew the Blingee account they had registered to add sparkles to Dazzler covers and photos of Nolan North would come in handy again someday!

 

THE 2015 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE IN X-CELLENCE

23_corbeau_blingee

  • Best X-Writer – Dennis Hopeless
  • Best X-Artist – Mike Norton
  • Best X-Colorist – Jordie Bellaire
  • Best Soap Opera – Inferno
  • Irene Adler Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Book or Series – X-Men ’92 ongoing
  • Harvey and Janet Award for Best Walk-On – Falcon Pirate (Wolverines #1)
  • About Damn Time – Iceman comes out (All-New X-Men #40 and X-Men #600)
  • Cyclops Has a Good Day Award – Uncanny X-Men #600
  • Shameless Pandering – X-Men ’92
  • MetaCorbeau for Exemplary Use of Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau in a Comic Book – Al Ewing (Mighty Avengers #8)
  • Best Ongoing X-Series – X-Force (w: Si Spurrier; a: various)
  • Rising Star – Wolverine (Laura Kinney)
  • Best Withering Sneers* – Kristafer Anka
  • The Didn’t-Fit-Into-Any-Other-Categories-and-Isn’t-Technically-an-X-Book-but-We-Wanted-to-Give-It-an-Award-Anyway Award – Siege (w: Kieron Gillen, a: Filipe Andrade)
  • Still the Best Listeners of Any Podcast, Ever – YOU. Again.**

*Kris Anka owns this category so thoroughly that, in the name of fairness, he will be disqualified starting in 2016; at which point the name of this category will officially change to the Kristafer Anka Award for Best Withering Sneer in an X-Book.

**Seriously. We may be a wee bit biased; but honestly, you’re just wildly unfair to the competition.

CLASSIC CORBEAUS (for older X-material covered in the podcast during 2015)

  • Buried Treasure – Fallen Angels
  • You Tried – Magneto (New Mutants)
  • Jack Kirby Award for Best Intersection of Weird and Epic in a Single Character Design – Walter Simonson (Archangel, X-Factor)
  • Improbably Endearing Moppet – Franklin Richards
  • High Bar Award – Bill Sienkiewicz (New Mutants)
  • Most Heroic Hair – Alan Davis
  • Most Organized Supervillain – Cameron Hodge

SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR AMAZING GUEST X-PERTS:

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

89 – Giant-Size Special #3 (feat. Kyle Yount, Logan Bonner, Elle Collins, and Chris Sims)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which Jay and Miles finally X-Plain some Excalibur; Kyle interviews the X-Perts; Logan gets up-close and personal with the X-Men; Elle casts Excalibur; Chris X-Plains Santa Claus; and you are still the best listeners of any podcast, ever.

X-PLAINED:

  • Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn
  • Christmas at the X-Mansion
  • The best hair in the Marvel Universe
  • The not particularly secret origins of Excalibur
  • Mojoverse anxiety dreams
  • Warwolves
  • Meggan
  • Captain Britain (Brian Braddock)
  • Sexiest Nightcrawler
  • Technet (and several of its members)
  • Gatecrasher
  • Yap
  • Omniversal Majestrix Opal Luna Saturnine
  • The Special Executive
  • Mutant intersectionality
  • Why we chose the X-Men
  • Favorite X-Spinoffs
  • Our podcast-guest wish list
  • The theoretical cast of an Excalibur movie
  • Our ideal X-lineups
  • Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
  • The Second Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence in X-Cellence
  • Marvel Holiday Special 1991
  • Santa Claus
  • The true meaning of Christmas

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 50 – The People Vs. Erik Lehnsherr

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Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 4/5/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Professor Xavier reacts to the Xorn retcons. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Someone really needs to make a gif out of those three panels on the left. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Not satisfied with his own series, the Beyonder derails someone else’s. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
This is so ridiculously rude. I mean, what if Father Bowen had been asleep, or naked, or talking to a parishioner, or something? “SURPRISE!” (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Kurt Wagner echoes some common criticisms of Secret Wars. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Awkward. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
KITTY’S FACE. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Given the parallels between Rachel Summers and Magneto’s backgrounds, it would have been really cool to see this relationship developed further. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
So doomed. (Uncanny X-Men #197)
Aw, these kids. (Uncanny X-Men #197)
Oh, hi, Phoenix II! (Uncanny X-Men #199)
While we’re on the subject: Check out Allie Kleber’s gorgeous design for a ballgown version of Rachel’s first Phoenix costume!
Cue-ball special! Take a drink! (Uncanny X-Men #199)
You can almost hear the slash fiction springing into being. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
We’d make “Rachel and Scott Summers pointedly fail to communicate” a drink cue, but no one’s liver deserves that. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
It is super weird how much Val Cooper looks like Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, given that Thiessen would have been eleven years old when this comic came out. Photo-reference of future past? (Uncanny X-Men #199)
“We’ll start by attacking a dude at a Holocaust memorial. It’ll be great practice for your PR team!” (Uncanny X-Men #199)
Rachel Summers was totally the best Phoenix. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
Magneto is a morally complex individual with really excellent hair. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
No matter how much you love your job, you will never love it as much as Mystique loves hers. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
Magneto’s speech here is important, but what you’re really looking at here is his well-tailored suit. You’d expect him to show up to his trial in something like this, right? (Uncanny X-Men #199)
NOPE. Why wear a conservative suit to your trial when you could wear opera gloves and a sleeveless unitard with an M pointing directly to your crotch? (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Neal Conan x-plains Magneto. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
“The counsels for the prosecution and defense have been selected based on the quality of their Joan Rivers impressions.” (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Oh, these assholes. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
So, basically, it’s Tuesday. Also: best editor’s note ever? Best editor’s note ever. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
I don’t think we talked about it in the episode, but this issue has the best damn sound effects. Seriously, I’m just gonna post a bunch of these, because they are great, and the lettering is aces. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
VYANNG! KRAKOOM! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
SKBOOM! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
RKOW! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
KTHAM! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
ZARK! TUNCH! BDAM! THIS LETTERING, Y’ALL. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Let’s all take a moment to appreciate Kitty’s hella sweet outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
You’re not wrong, Madelyne. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
There’s something intrinsically hilarious about Starjammers fly-bys. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
KITTY, FOCUS ON THE PROBLEM AT… oh. Sorry. That was in poor taste. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Pretty sure that last speech balloon was supposed to be Kitty’s, not Scott’s. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
MAGNETO MADE SOME VALID POINTS. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Agh, god, Tom Orzechowski’s sound effects are SO GOOD. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Sir James Jaspers: total dick. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
CANON: This lady’s name is Judge Kickass. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Atonement

Cleric lvl 5 / Druid lvl 5

Range: Touch

(Uncanny X-Men #200)

NEXT WEEK: ECCC special, featuring Kris Anka, Marguerite Bennett, Kieron Gillen, and Peter Nguyen! (No idea why this photo is showing up upside down, but it looks kind of rad, so we’re just gonna run with it.)

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

 

50 – The People Vs. Erik Lehnsherr

22 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 4/5/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/29/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Magneto makes an official alignment shift; Claremont does a court drama; Professor Xavier makes poor choices; Rachel Summers comes by her communication skills honest; the Strucker kids are the evil Wonder Twins; and the podcast hits a major milestone!

X-PLAINED:

  • Xorn
  • Uncanny X-Men #196, 199, and 200
  • The X-Men status quo circa 1985
  • Magneto’s alignment shift
  • Beyonder-related existential crises
  • A hypothetical murder mystery
  • Minor vandalism as a harbinger of dark futures
  • Psi-scream
  • Brood classified ads
  • A thematic parallel
  • The tipping point in Scott and Madelyne’s relationship
  • The new, improved Magneto
  • The Professor Who Cried Wolf
  • Phoenix II
  • Earth-811/Earth-616 disambiguation
  • Freedom Force
  • The Trial of Magneto
  • NPR-616
  • James Jaspers
  • The best editor’s note
  • The mystery of Magneto’s age
  • Andrea & Andreas Strucker
  • What not to wear to court
  • A super icky sword
  • Phoenix morality
  • Sponsorship & conflict of interest

NEXT WEEK: Emerald City Comicon special with Kris Anka, Marguerite Bennett, Kieron Gillen, and Peter Nguyen!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!