Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

282 – The Tide Takes the Castle

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning should really be the setting of a stoner comedy; Garrabed Bashur’s brain is probably 90% porn by now; the tide always takes the castle; William Drake remains terrible; Adam X the X-Treme deserved better; Jay pitches a series; disability is not a boolean and exclusively medically-defined state; and we are all about some weird X-Men tie-in products.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mariko Yoshida in the afterlife
  • Moon Talk
  • Some upcoming X-books
  • X-Men #38-39
  • Uncanny X-Men #319
  • Many unhealthy coping mechanisms
  • Sinister foreshadowing
  • Fancy hair
  • Commcast (Garabed Bashur)
  • Hawk sex
  • An exceptionally resonant callback
  • Intersectional bigotry
  • The domestic dynamics of the Drake household
  • The remarkably poignant return of Adam X the X-Treme
  • The opposite of a Jack London story
  • An unlikely intergenerational frienship
  • A novel use of a novel superpower
  • Mutation as and intersecting with disability
  • X-Men tie-in products we’d like to see

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor fills in!


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As Mentioned in Episode 275 – End of the Summer

Listen to the episode here!



LINKS & FURTHER CRYPTIDS:

275 – End of the Summer

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Professor is too cool for the Phalanx; fatphobia is significantly more dangerous than Fred Dukes; Strong Guy catches a plane; Emma Frost will not let you coast; Jubilee says goodbye to the X-Men; and it’s probably for the best that we have avoided corporate advertisers.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mr. M
  • Thor: Metal Gods
  • Ship (more) (again)
  • The Phalanx vs. the Borg
  • Several cover homages
  • X-Force #39
  • X-Factor #107
  • Uncanny X-Men #318
  • Prosh
  • The myriad delights of embodiment
  • A complex theory about Leprechauns
  • Benefits of single-issue stories
  • Strong Guy vs. the Blob
  • Strong Guy vs. Gravity
  • Strong Guy vs. an airplane
  • Strong Guy vs. biology
  • Several explosions
  • The kids of Generation X
  • Deluxe-format comics
  • The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning
  • Goodbyes
  • Dazzler’s relative immortality
  • Jay’s X-Men Happy Meal Toy wish list
  • How to make a page-accurate Warlock toy

NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy


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As Mentioned in Episode 267 – The Saddest Joyride

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LINKS & FURTHER ACTION POINTS

267 – The Saddest Joyride

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Emma Frost is a better Iceman than Bobby Drake; Generation X is aggressively foreshadowed; Malcolm and Randall are the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to Bishop’s Hamlet; and we launch a campaign for our own Multiversal designation.

X-PLAINED:

  • The first time the X-Men met Emma Frost
  • Uncanny X-Men 314-315
  • X-Men Annual #18
  • A game show nobody should ever under any circumstances actually make
  • Emma Frost’s recruitment tactics
  • Previously unexplored ice powers
  • The direct prelude to Generation X
  • Caliban (more) (again)
  • SoftPaws(TM)
  • The giant squids of New York
  • The neophyte
  • A trial, kind of
  • X-Men power fantasies
  • Earth-X-Plain

NEXT EPISODE: We’re so close to nearly reaching what’s almost the Phalanx Covenant!


Game show music by MusicManiac301; used with permission.


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As Mentioned in Episode 262 – Science Fiction Double Feature

Listen to the episode here.



The Designing X-Women art isn’t online yet, but when it is, we’ll drop a link here!

262 – Science Fiction Double Feature

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Phalanx would make pretty fun novelty candy; “B-Plot” implies that we only have 26; nobody will take Jubilee to the movies; Repo Man and Repo: The Genetic Opera are in fact two entirely different films; Storm is a fashion icon; Sabretooth is the monster in the basement; it’s really rough to be the kid on the X-Men; Yuko gives Gambit a shovel talk; and a number of familiar faces return to the page.

X-PLAINED:

  • One of the many problems with Sentinels
  • Uncanny X-Men #311-313
  • Whether the Phalanx is squishy
  • Robo-Candy
  • Plotline disambiguation
  • A cult classic
  • Carl the X-Cutioner (again)
  • Creative use of Bishop’s powers
  • Storm fashion
  • Technical difficulties
  • A decision Iceman will come to regret
  • Bishop vs. Sabretooth
  • What If Vol. 2 #87
  • Variations on Iceman’s appearance
  • Early seeds of Generation X
  • A night out with Yukio
  • A heavily euphemized relationship
  • Xavier’s mutant underground
  • The Phalanx
  • A shovel talk
  • The return of Steven Lang (and some other people)
  • How Cyclops cries
  • Cassandra Nova’s signature look

NEXT EPISODE: Additional and Varyingly Literal Blasts from the Past


NOTE: Per our expert source Doctor Internet, what Miles knows as “water weenies” are mostly sold as “water wigglers” or “water snakes.”


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 253 – Autumn in the Uncanny Valley

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LINKS & FURTHER HEADLINES

253 – Autumn in the Uncanny Valley

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which an engagement begins; Jean Grey’s Walden Puddle counterpart is definitely Nicole; Cyclops is the telepathic equivalent of a pit trap with spikes at the bottom; Charles Xavier’s subconscious is very dialogue-heavy; nobody ever has appropriate professional boundaries; Cable dabbles in passive aggression; and the best is yet to come.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some of Blaquesmith’s recent activities
  • Uncanny X-Men #308-310
  • A very sweet retcon
  • Thanksgiving “traditions”
  • How to scare crows
  • Emplates
  • Feelings and telepathy
  • A proposal
  • A misprint
  • Thanksgiving at the Xavier School
  • A somewhat alarming manifestation of a conscience
  • The lies Charles Xavier tells himself
  • Xavier’s depression beard
  • The evolution of Amelia Voght
  • Angry Claremontean Narrator: The Movie
  • The anticlimactic return of Carl “X-Cutioner” Denti
  • An unexpected resolution
  • Foreshadowing
  • Trans voices in the larger comics conversation

NEXT EPISODE: The wedding!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 251 – Triple Word Score

Listen to the podcast here.


Here’s Ben Martin on the Legacy Virus as an AIDS allegory:

I wanted to get a deeper take on the Legacy Virus as an analogy for AIDS. As you’ve mentioned more than once on the pod, it’s clear that’s what the writers had in mind, but I feel it misses the mark in a couple of important ways over the life of the story element.

My first issue with the analogy is that the big stigma about AIDS in the early days was that it only affected gay men, when in fact that was not the case. I was born with a genetic blood disorder called hemophilia, and many of the kids and staff from the hemophilia summer camp I attended as a teenager in the 1990s contracted HIV from contaminated blood products used for treatment. While I was fortunate to avoid the contaminated products, many I grew up with did not, as half of all people with hemophilia in the U.S., including 90% of those with severe hemophilia, contracted HIV. You may remember Ryan White, who did a lot of public outreach about HIV and AIDS after contracting it through treatment for his hemophilia. With the exception of Moira MacTaggart, the Legacy Virus only targeted mutants, meaning it missed the mark on the way AIDS was incorrectly and maliciously used as a propaganda weapon against homosexuals, when in fact it was something that could affect anyone who contracted it. Leaving out that aspect is a disservice to the wide range of people affected by HIV and AIDS in my view. I would have loved to see a human villain use the Legacy Virus to stir up hatred, only to find out they contracted it themselves. Maybe that’s what they tried to do with Moira, but I recall either Beast or Xavier saying it’s likely she only contracted it through prolonged exposure to it while studying it.

My second issue is that, through the magic of comic book science, the Legacy Virus was altogether wiped out (with the exception of a few samples in test tubes that popped up in an X-Force run as far as I know). My friends who are still living with HIV and AIDS today do so with a decreased quality of life and tons of medication. They are, fortunately, alive, but their lives are not what they were before. That’s a smaller nitpick, but I personally think it would have been really interesting to see characters contract the virus, receive the cure, but still be living with some consequences of the disease in some way, whether it be a change to their mutant powers or just poor health in general or something like that.

On a side note, if you can find it, there’s a fantastic 2010 documentary called “Bad Blood: A Cautionary Tale” currently available on Amazon Prime that explores the impact of HIV on the hemophilia community. It’s very powerful and is an important story.


LINKS & FURTHER THEORIES