Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Erik Lehnsherr

91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which New Mutants #64 is the saddest single issue of any X-book ever; the New Mutants have to grow up fast; Warlock comes to terms with mortality; The Last of Us is harder to play the second time; Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade is delightfully unhinged; animated Cyclops is totally the worst; Beast probably has a terrible garage band; Jean starts a kitchen fire; and Wolverine saves Jubilee’s birthday.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • The saddest issue ever
  • New Mutants #64
  • The only okay way to watch Grave of the Fireflies
  • The aftermath of Doug Ramsey’s death
  • Several unhealthy coping mechanisms
  • The Last of Us
  • Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade
  • Some varyingly impressive costumes
  • General irresponsibility
  • Why Wolverine is wearing a clown suit
  • Douglock
  • The New Mutants’ D&D alignments

NEXT WEEK: You never forget your first Ship.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 87 – It’s Always Darkest…

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Don’t get too attached to these guys. (New Mutants #59)
Roll for initiative! (New Mutants #59)
Lookit this E.C. lookin’ jerk! (New Mutants #59)
Truth. (New Mutants #59)
Seriously, the Ani-mator is so creepy. (New Mutants #60)
Or you could just–you know what? Never mind. Forget it. Freakin’ teenagers. (New Mutants #60)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (New Mutants #60)
Oh, THAT guy. (New Mutants #60)
How many times has he done this so far? Two? Three? (New Mutants #60)
Well, fuck. (New Mutants #60)
Well, fuck. (New Mutants #60)
Later, she justifies this by saying that it’s what Doug would have wanted, which seems questionable. (New Mutants #60)
Meanwhile, in the other 2/3 of the event… (New Mutants #61)
Even horses, Warlock. (New Mutants #61)
Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #61)
Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #61)
It really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really sucks to be New Mutants-era Magneto. (New Mutants #61)
And to add insult to injury, somehow the graduation costumes got even worse. (New Mutants #61)
NEXT WEEK: The Fall of the Mutants concludes with X-Factor!

87 – It’s Always Darkest… (Fall of the Mutants, Part 2 of 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which the New Mutants learn that they are not, in fact, immortal; Louise Simonson finds her stride; the Ani-Mator makes Cameron Hodge look downright reasonable; hating humans is Magneto’s security blanket; Doug Ramsey dies; and we continue our coverage of the Fall of the Mutants.

X-PLAINED:

  • Sugar Man
  • New Mutants #59-61
  • Bird Brain
  • The Ani-Mator
  • The Ani-Mates
  • Stylistic whiplash
  • Why you always leave a note
  • The death of Doug Ramsey
  • Black Condor’s amazing origin story
  • Interpersonal dynamics in New Mutants
  • Parsing ongoing series
  • Why Doug died
  • 616 characters we’d trade for their Battleworld counterparts
  • Storytelling trends and the decline of though balloons

NEXT WEEK: …Just Before Dawn

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 79 – Bear on a Boat

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/25/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Look! It’s Captain America! And… Dr. Druid. Okay, then. (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
We see what you did, there. (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
That… could have gone better. (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
Let’s all take a moment to appreciate the fact that Wolverine is wearing a cowboy hat with his swim trunks. (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
“But they don’t trust me! I know! I’ll sneak away! That’ll help!” (X-Men vs. Avengers #1)
Magneto’s old helmet does not really work with his new disco neckline. (X-Men vs. Avengers #2)
EVERYBODY FIGHT! (X-Men vs. Avengers #2)
*rimshot* (X-Men vs. Avengers #2)
“We could resolve this peacefully, and–actually, nah, you know what? Let’s just punch each other for another two issues.” (X-Men vs. Avengers #2)
So, that happened. (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
“Howsabout bears? You got a problem with those, too?” (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
It’s not a miniseries until Rogue’s clothes explode. (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
MAGNETISM! (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
You’re a crook, Captain Hook! (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
It’s kind of like The Lady or the Tiger, only it’s The Naked Dude and the Bear but also They’re the Same Person, so actually it’s not really very much like The Lady or the Tiger at all. (X-Men vs. Avengers #3)
Oh, generic Government Man. Never change. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
Well, that’s awkward. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
MAGNETISM! (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
Magneto, the Silver Age called. It wants its schtick back. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
But… I mean… That doesn’t even… You know what? Never mind. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
In the original draft of this issue, Magneto’s helmet turned blue and was eaten by Pac Man. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
Oh, COME ON. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
I swear at least one of those picket signs is straight-up lifted from Uncanny X-Men #200. (X-Men vs. Avengers #4)
The Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts begins on October 29! Prepare with this handy flow chart!
NEXT WEEK: Warlock vs. the Impossible Man!

ARE YOU READY FOR THE SECRET CONVERGENCE ON INFINITE PODCASTS?

79 – Bear on a Boat

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/25/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/25/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In no one trusts Magneto; Dr. Druid is the comfiest superhero; She-Hulk wants to punch a meteor; Rachel and Miles are really bad at both nature and maritime law; boat fights are the best fights; everyone makes terrible choices; and James Jaspers should really have been disbarred by now.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • Darkstar vs. Dark Star
  • X-Men vs. Avengers #1-4
  • Magneto’s narrative milestones
  • Dr. Anthony Druid
  • A most peculiar meteor
  • The Soviet Super Soldiers
  • Vanguard
  • Darkstar
  • The Titanium Man / Gremlin
  • Ursa Major
  • Floridian vs. Australian fauna
  • Crimson Dynamo
  • Dock parties with the X-Men
  • Secrets of Asteroid M
  • Cartoonish pursuit
  • The drinking rules of costume semi-destruction
  • The Laws of the Sea
  • Why you should put your multi-team brawls on a boat
  • An abrupt creative shift
  • The Light
  • Several miracles of magnetism
  • An ethical dilemma
  • The (other) trial of Magneto
  • Magneto heel turns
  • Picking which tie-ins to read
  • The Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts

NEXT EPISODE: Warlock vs. the Impossible Man!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 74 – This Dumb Rumpus

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Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/20/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
We’ll be at RCCC in Portland, OR, on September 19 and 20! More info–including our first-ever live show and all-ages meetup/party–here!
These covers, man. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #1)
Well, that’s weirdly anticlimactic. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #1)
“FWIDAY.” (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #1)
Reed Richards is a terrible parent, even by superhero standards. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #1)
“Also, you really need to learn to dress better, because this is just embarrassing.” (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #1)
Well, that’s not even a little bit portentous. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #1)
They just get bleaker and bleaker. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #2)
Aw. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #2)
What. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #2)
WELL THEN. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #2)
If I had a dollar for every time I rescued a sailor and it turned out to be a Doombot… (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #2)
Reed, he literally just said he was doing it for free. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #2)
Definitely not a thing that happens at any point during the actual series. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #3)
Aw, Kitty. Aw, Franklin. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #3)
Aw, Kitty and Franklin. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #3)
Reed Richards is his own unreliable narrator. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #3)
Still a terrible parent, but he has his moments. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #3)
THAT SOUND EFFECT THO (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #3)
‘Kay. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #4)
Aw, Kitty. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #4)
Why, yes, half the captions in this post are variations on “Aw.” I REGRET NOTHING. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #4)
AW. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #4)
AWWWW. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #4)
One of us has some Feelings about this whole scenario. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #4)
Best faces, or best faces? (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #4)
Taaaaaake another drink. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #4)
Let’s all take a moment to appreciate Storm’s AMAZING outfit. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #4)
Okay, then.
Franklin Richards: Normal Human Meat Child. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #4)
IT JUST DOESN’T STOP BEING FUNNY. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #4)
NEXT WEEK: X-Factor still can’t get the hang of doors.

LINKS & FURTHER READING

L’Shanah Tovah!

74 – This Dumb Rumpus

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/20/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/20/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which Franklin Richards is definitely a normal human meat child; Thing’s code-name is delightfully ambiguous; your kids are probably robot sailors; it’s always a Doombot; Rachel accidentally identifies with Reed Richards; all dramatic roads lead to Latveria; and superheroes are terrible at conflict resolution.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • Franklin Richards
  • Rachel & Miles at Rose City Comic Con
  • Rachel & Miles X-Plain the X-Men LIVE
  • Fantastic Four Versus the X-Men #1-4
  • The best hugs in the biz
  • The Fantastic Four
  • Mr. Fantastic (Reed Richards)
  • Invisible Woman (Susan Richards)
  • Human Torch (Johnny Storm)
  • Thing (Ben Grimm)
  • The Fantasticast
  • Special dreams (but not that kind)
  • Alicia Masters (sort of)
  • Dubiously informative cover art
  • The doomed frenemyship of Reed Richards and Victor von Doom
  • Varyingly competent parenting
  • An awful lot of incidental nudity
  • Ethics of super-science
  • Robot sailors
  • Latveriandroids
  • Agency
  • Dubious conflict-resolution skills
  • Human Torch costume logistics
  • Dr. Doom’s history with Magneto
  • Relative roles and themes of Marvel teams

NEXT WEEK: X-Factor still hasn’t really gotten the hang of doors.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 72 – Thrown Under the Plot Bus

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/30/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Mutant X Cyclops is the best Cyclops.
Surprise Walter Simons cover! YAYBO! (Uncanny X-Men #217)
The Opening Gimmick Who Cried Wolf. (Uncanny X-Men #217)
Banshee is good at adulting. (Uncanny X-Men #217)
“Seriously, guys, it’s like the whole theme of the book. I mean, aside from fighting to protect a world that hates and fears us.” (Uncanny X-Men #217)
Whether Douglas the Gentle Freak is the Doonesbury-universe version of Cypher remains a mystery. (We’d like to think so, though.)
Damn, Callisto. That’s cold. (Uncanny X-Men #217)
You do you, Alison. (Uncanny X-Men #217)
2/3 of Juggernaut fights begin with some variation of this scene (kilt negotiable). (Uncanny X-Men #217)
Um. (Uncanny X-Men #217)
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Uncanny X-Men #217)
I don’t know if there’s a word for what’s going on with Rogue’s hair, but it is AMAZING. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Uncanny X-Men #218)
“Y’all enjoy your group hug. I’m just gonna FLING THIS FUCKING ROCK INTO SPACE.” (Uncanny X-Men #218)
Aw, Longshot. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
I know this story is all about teamwork, but Rogue definitely wins MVP of Uncanny X-Men #218.
‘Kay. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
The really great thing about this reference is that there’s also a Brigadier Lethbridge Stuart running around UK-616. I bet they get each other’s mail all the time. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, Havok! (Uncanny X-Men #218)
Car Wreck Sex: The Alex Summers Story. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
This plotline will continue to dangle for like a year and a half. (Uncanny X-Men #218)
Take a drink. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Damn, kid. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Please let us know if you can work out the timeline here, because we’ve basically stopped sleeping, and it’s not pretty. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
I always figured Magneto would have way nicer penmanship than this. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Lorna, you can FUCK WITH MAGNETIC FIELDS WITH YOUR MIND, AND ONE TIME YOU THREW AN ISLAND INTO SPACE. Are you really that surprised at a freak earthquake? (Uncanny X-Men #219)
If the X-line were a sitcom, they’d totally have cut from here to Scott arguing with hallucinations over in X-Factor. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
It’s okay. Everyone will be too distracted by your hat to notice the tights. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Our heroes and yours! (Uncanny X-Men #219)
THAT. HAIR. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
NEXT WEEK: Origins of X-Men: Evolution, with Robert N. Skir!

FURTHER LISTENING:

  • Special thanks to the wonderful Adam Warrock for letting us sample his song “Teamwork” in this episode! You can listen to the full track here, and find more of Adam’s work at adamwarrock.com!

72 – Thrown Under the Plot Bus

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/6/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/6/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which Dazzler is not a team player; Longshot is the Zonker Harris of the X-Men; Juggernaut is That Guy; Rachel and Miles channel Statler and Waldorf; and Alex Summers is seriously never, ever going to finish grad school.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mutant X
  • The only well-adjusted Scott Summers in the Multiverse
  • The Goblin Entity
  • Uncanny X-Men #217-219
  • The evolution of the X-Men’s lineup
  • Standards for a good twist
  • Doonesbury
  • Several Dungeons & Dragons analogies
  • A dubious literary allusion
  • Flying jeeps
  • CrimeBros
  • The fundamental tragedy of Longshot
  • Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart and several homages thereto
  • Geordie and Rupert
  • Havok (more) (again)
  • Car-wreck sex
  • An unfortunate end to a camping trip
  • The Plot Bus
  • Several ways to stat Rogue up as a D&D character
  • Narrative-friendly power sets

Special thanks to:

  • The wonderful Adam Warrock, for letting us sample his song “Teamwork” in this episode! You can listen to the full track here, and find more of Adam’s work at adamwarrock.com.
  • Harrison Barber for his X-Pert D&D advice (not to mention nearly fifteen years of tolerating our nonsense at the gaming table)!

NEXT WEEK: X-Men: Evolution with Robert N. Skir!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 71 – The Once and Fuchsia King

4 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/30/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Spoiler: They will be back next issue. (New Mutants #51)
“If they’d learned anything from me, they’d be faking their own deaths!” (New Mutants #51)
DRAMA! (New Mutants #51)
No, the OTHER Plan Omega. (New Mutants #51)
Kevin Nowlan draws a rad Hepzibah. (New Mutants #51)
PROFESSOR XAVIER IS A JERK. (New Mutants #51)
“Well, I should probably see what the study group thinks, but I’m thinking fuchsia.” (New Mutants #51)
Sebastian Shaw takes dress codes seriously. (New Mutants #51)
She even LOOKS like she stepped off a power metal album cover. (New Mutants #52)
HE’S NOT WRONG. (New Mutants #52)
Aw, kiddo. (New Mutants #52)
Fighting xenomorphs, from the look of it. (New Mutants #52)
Love the body language on this page. (New Mutants #52)
We keep saying that this whole era feels like an inexorable escalation toward Inferno, and, yeah. That. (New Mutants #52)
I was gonna make a “subtext: not just for the ladies” joke, but I’m pretty sure it’s just text at this point. (New Mutants #53)
Aw, man. (New Mutants #53)
TWIST! Don’t worry, this’ll come back up eventually. (New Mutants #53)
“…But can you take them anywhere?” Spoiler: NO. No, you can’t. (New Mutants #53)
Magik intimidating Empath is the gift that keeps on giving. (New Mutants #53)
Make good choices, Cypher! (New Mutants #53)
Or, y’know, not. (New Mutants #53)
Sam Guthrie: Everyone’s best big brother. (New Mutants #54)
“I love you, but I have to leave the team because your costumes are SO BAD.” (New Mutants #54)
SO, THAT HAPPENED. (New Mutants #54)
Has anyone else noticed that Doug’s superhero career is basically a series of dress rehearsals for his eventual death. (New Mutants #54)
I genuinely can’t tell if this is a good burn or not: on one hand, the New Mutants’ costumes are objectively way worse; but on the other hand, the Hellions’ costumes are way more circus-y. (New Mutants #54)
NEXT WEEK: It’s hard to be Havok.

LINKS:

  • If you’re curious about the Starjammers, go listen to Episode 7 – Cyclops Has a Good Day, in which we discuss them at length with Greg Rucka.
  • The podcast where two dudes watch and review Grown Ups 2 every week is an actual, real thing, which you can listen to here.