Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 286 – Family Before Continuity

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Don’t worry! The world will end before they can die in that plane crash! (Excalibur #86)
Pete Wisdom is a happy man with a happy life. (Excalibur #86)
MAH PUIR WEE HOVERCRAFT (Excalibur #86)
I want a team that’s just him and Chamber, brooding. (Excalibur #86)
A green and pleasant, &c. (Excalibur #86)
Well, so much for that mission. (Excalibur #86)
Me, too, Sam. Me, too. (X-Force #43)
I relate so hard to Shatterstar right now. (X-Force #43)
Time travel has some good looks. (X-Force #43)
Aw, these dudes. (X-Force #43)
“We’re here for you, in all our oddly-proportioned glory!” (X-Force #43)
He hasn’t, actually, but that won’t be revealed for a while yet. (X-Force #43)
“Man, is THIS what happens when your boss ditches you for another book?” (X-Force #43)
I know, right?! (Cable #20)
Pretty sure that every one of the original five has, at some point, referred to Hank as their best and/or closest friend. (Cable #20)
Ouch. (Cable #20)
OUCH. (Cable #20)
I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING (Cable #20)
Aw, these guys. And it didn’t even take a bathtub! (Cable #20)
Sometimes a family is eight people in tight clothing posing dramatically for the end of the world. (Cable #20)
NEXT EPISODE: Welcome to Earth-295! Hope you survive the experience!

LINKS & FURTHER EVENT HORIZONS:

286 – Family Before Continuity

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Sunspot is a bad enough dude to save the president; Black Air is nowhere near as fun as WHO; we reach the end of Fabian Nicieza’s X-Force run; Rictor and Shatterstar talk about feelings; Gambit does not go gently into that good night; Scott and Jean choose family over continuity; Legion Quest comes to a close, along with Earth-616; the heart of Dawn of X is its margins; you should come see us at ECCC; and we announce a new schedule.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Maker (Reed Richards of Earth-1610)
  • Jay & Miles at ECCC and FlameCon 2020
  • Stuff Jay writes
  • Excalibur #86
  • X-Force #43
  • Cable #20
  • Black Air
  • Pete Wisdom
  • What’s been up in Genosha
  • The Midnight Runner
  • Navigating Kitty Pryde’s age in Excalibur
  • A very abrupt ending
  • The ongoing evolution of X-Force
  • Locus’s new look
  • Clubbing with Rictor and Shatterstar
  • Legion Quest so far
  • Complicated feelings at the end of the world
  • A reunion
  • Where it all started
  • Vague power sets
  • Complicated feelings about Dawn of X
  • The new podcast schedule

NEXT EPISODE: The Age of Apocalypse

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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Come see us at ECCC, March 12-15!

As Mentioned in Episode 285 – Immediately if Not Sooner

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Wait, what if Bobby just misuses slang all the time to mess with Bishop? (Uncanny X-Men #320)
What the hell, Legion? (Uncanny X-Men #320)
So, that happened. (Uncanny X-Men #320)
Have fairly normal toes ever seemed as creepy as they do on this cover? I would argue that they have not. (X-Men #40)
If this were fanfic they would immediately have to fake being married to, I dunno, something. (X-Men #40)
Seriously, did ANY readers who didn’t already know recognize this dude as Legion? (X-Men #40)
That shadow! THAT ANGST! (X-Men #40)
“I had always hoped I might find others like us, but I never imagined the continuity would be this impenetrable!” (X-Men #40)
Meanwhile in a sitcom… (X-Men #40)
Tower of Telepaths never really caught on as a board game. (Uncanny X-Men #321)
Just kiss already. (Uncanny X-Men #321)
Greatest caption, or GREATEST CAPTION? (Uncanny X-Men #321)
Wait, has Bishop DISGUISED HIMSELF AS A PIRATE? If the answer is no, I don’t want to know; let me keep this dream. (Uncanny X-Men #321)
JUST KISS ALREADY (Uncanny X-Men #321)
Oh, no. (Uncanny X-Men #321)
Legion, NO. (Uncanny X-Men #321)
You’ve made it to Bishop’s ill-fitting trousers, Cable: just where you needed to be. (Uncanny X-Men #321)
“I knew that someday our future son would travel back in time to kill my best friend.” (X-Men #41)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (X-Men #41)
Ouch. (X-Men #41)
Jubilee gives good advice. (X-Men #41)
The best kiss in X-Men. (X-Men #41)
Okay, but, that first panel. (X-Men #41)
NEXT EPISODE: The end of the world, more, again.

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

 

 

 

285 – Immediately if Not Sooner

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Goldballs is still a better name than Egg; we continue our progress towards Earth-295; Legion pulls a Stryfe; we’re still pretty shaky on how to pronounce “M’Kraan”; Xavier and Magneto were absolutely and unquestionably doing sex in the 1970s; it’s time time; the Watcher is watching you masturbate; and what happens immediately before the end of the world is often as important as what happens immediately after.

X-PLAINED:

  • Balls
  • Legion (more) (again)
  • Uncanny X-Men 320-321
  • X-Men #40
  • Establishing stakes
  • Slang of the mid-1990s
  • Time travel as a dick move
  • Issues vs. episodes
  • The M’Kraan Crystal (more) (again)
  • Hebrew vowels
  • Latent time travel abilities
  • Charles Xavier’s “first” bar fight
  • An exceptional caption
  • A very bad narrative choice
  • The death of Charles Francis Xavier
  • A load-bearing moment in time
  • Jahf the Guardian
  • Waiting for the end of the world
  • The best-drawn kiss in X-Men, ever
  • The many Krakoas
  • Integrating Legion into Dawn of X

NEXT EPISODE: More Legion Quest!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 282 – The Tide Takes the Castle

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Hank McCoy is his own worst enemy–and best audience! (X-Men #38)
Bobby Drake somehow experienced the ’90s harder than most of his peers. (X-Men #38)
She’s not wrong. (X-Men #38)
“I, um, think I might have left something in Alaska. Bye.” (X-Men #38)
Every day, Bishop gets a little less enchanted with his heroes. (X-Men #38)
Aw, these two and their friendship. (X-Men #38)
[SOBS IN CALLBACK] (Iceman #3)
Has anyone ever stopped to notice the fact that Bobby Drake is a fucking spectacular sculptor? Seriously, he should be doing THAT professionally. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
William Drake: a jerk then, a jerk now. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
There is no rage like the rage of a man quietly spooning mashed potatoes onto plates. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
HE’S SO AWFUL. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Aw, these kids. (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Meanwhile, in Hawk Talk! (Uncanny X-Men #219)
Planes are a Summers family tradition; as, apparently, is crashing them. (X-Men #39)
He’s a good kid. (X-Men #39)
A good kid with a good cap. (X-Men #39)
Weirdly, the heart just sort of hovers around outside the boathouse, and nobody can figure out how to make it go away. (X-Men #39)
See what we mean about the difference the right artist makes to Adam X (X-Men #39)
Man, I just want Philip and Deborah to adopt him and basically be the Kents. (X-Men #39)
Y’know what? Sure. Why not? (X-Men #39)
He came back! (X-Men #39)
HE’S SUCH A GOOD KID. (X-Men #39)
NEXT EPISODE: Still not technically Legion Quest!

LINKS & FURTHER DELIGHTS:

  • When not making our endless nonsense sound good, producer Matt Hunter makes really excellent music, and you should go listen to some!
  • Jay does not actually write things on hackertyper.com, but he wishes he could.
  • We covered Rogue’s solo series in Episode 245 – Natural Causes.
  • This is the plane Philip flew in WWII, if that’s your kind of thing.

282 – The Tide Takes the Castle

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning should really be the setting of a stoner comedy; Garrabed Bashur’s brain is probably 90% porn by now; the tide always takes the castle; William Drake remains terrible; Adam X the X-Treme deserved better; Jay pitches a series; disability is not a boolean and exclusively medically-defined state; and we are all about some weird X-Men tie-in products.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mariko Yoshida in the afterlife
  • Moon Talk
  • Some upcoming X-books
  • X-Men #38-39
  • Uncanny X-Men #319
  • Many unhealthy coping mechanisms
  • Sinister foreshadowing
  • Fancy hair
  • Commcast (Garabed Bashur)
  • Hawk sex
  • An exceptionally resonant callback
  • Intersectional bigotry
  • The domestic dynamics of the Drake household
  • The remarkably poignant return of Adam X the X-Treme
  • The opposite of a Jack London story
  • An unlikely intergenerational frienship
  • A novel use of a novel superpower
  • Mutation as and intersecting with disability
  • X-Men tie-in products we’d like to see

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor fills in!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 277 – Hedgehogs of Cairo

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Sauron has hella abs… (X-Men Unlimited #6)
…and apparently a come-hither gaze? (X-Men Unlimited #6)
Sauron’s backstory is a wild ride even by Silver Age standards. (X-Men Unlimited #6)
“Also, I get three mana of any color.” (X-Men Unlimited #6)
That’s our Sauron! (X-Men Unlimited #6)
Karl Lykos is a cheerful guy. (X-Men Unlimited #6)
They say it’s the smell, but I bet the other pterosaurs are actually judging him for his jorts. (X-Men Unlimited #6)
Meanwhile in Cairo… (X-Men Unlimited #7)
It really doesn’t seem like Candra should be able to bend her arms and legs. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
Truly, a fancy beard. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
Urchins: 1, Gambit: 0. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
Later, this kid will be retconned to have been imaginary. Don’t think too hard about it. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
STEALTH! (X-Men Unlimited #7)
X-Men vs. Urchins. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
Seriously, Candra, Storm will stab you in a sewer and not even care. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
NEXT EPISODE: Sex?

LINKS & FURTHER DINOSAURS

277 – Hedgehogs of Cairo

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Sauron is a huge nerd; the Savage Land is where Marvel stores the weird stuff; an etymology detour does not come from the X-Pert you’d expect; and Storm will straight-up stab you.

X-PLAINED:

  • Responsible weapon storage
  • X-Men Unlimited #6-7
  • A very large creative team
  • Sauron (more) (again)
  • Blood-derived powers
  • The Mutates
  • A pterosaur glow-up
  • Achmed El-Gibar
  • Street urchins (and the etymology thereof)
  • How to get a t’ieve mentor
  • Style vs. taste
  • The proportional relationship between knife skills and leadership potential
  • Tattoos vs. healing factors

NEXT EPISODE: Sex?

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 275 – End of the Summer

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
HI, PROSH. (X-Force #39)
Look at this charming weirdo. (X-Force #39)
You see what I mean about the frolicking? (X-Force #39)
Damn skippy! (X-Force #39)
Well, that can’t be good. (X-Force #39)
I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING (X-Force #39)
This whole issue has a very Looney Toons vibe. (X-Factor #107)
It’s good that they can find common ground. (X-Factor #107)
Gravity: she’s a harsh mistress. (X-Factor #107)
Again: I really love the way the art here leans into Strong Guy’s inherent cartoonishness. (X-Factor #107)
Ouch. (X-Factor #107)
That cover! (Uncanny X-Men #318)
The choker really does seem to have an extra layer of symbolism, especially considering the color vs. the rest of her outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
You tried, buddy. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
Serious X-Terminators vibes, right? (Uncanny X-Men #318)
“But, y’know, good luck with that.” (Uncanny X-Men #318)
She’s not wrong, Warren. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
…it works, though. (Uncanny X-Men #318)
NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy!

LINKS & FURTHER CRYPTIDS:

275 – End of the Summer

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Professor is too cool for the Phalanx; fatphobia is significantly more dangerous than Fred Dukes; Strong Guy catches a plane; Emma Frost will not let you coast; Jubilee says goodbye to the X-Men; and it’s probably for the best that we have avoided corporate advertisers.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mr. M
  • Thor: Metal Gods
  • Ship (more) (again)
  • The Phalanx vs. the Borg
  • Several cover homages
  • X-Force #39
  • X-Factor #107
  • Uncanny X-Men #318
  • Prosh
  • The myriad delights of embodiment
  • A complex theory about Leprechauns
  • Benefits of single-issue stories
  • Strong Guy vs. the Blob
  • Strong Guy vs. Gravity
  • Strong Guy vs. an airplane
  • Strong Guy vs. biology
  • Several explosions
  • The kids of Generation X
  • Deluxe-format comics
  • The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning
  • Goodbyes
  • Dazzler’s relative immortality
  • Jay’s X-Men Happy Meal Toy wish list
  • How to make a page-accurate Warlock toy

NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!