Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

276 – Wizard Problems

December 8, 2019 Jay 11 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Excalibur gets a regular writer again; we judge a book against against its covers; nothing good ever comes from being sexy on Muir Isle; and the soul sword’s real power is cutting through continuity.

X-PLAINED:

Stegron
Dinosaur powers
Excalibur #83-85 (The Soul Sword Trilogy)
Warren Ellis on Excalibur
Excalibur (more) (again)
Bends Sinister and Bend Sinister
Outsider days
Mail
Boundaries
Darkoth
Gravemoss
The Winding Way
Shrill
A problematic prosthesis
Roger Corman’s The Raven
A large number of continuity errors
Gratuitous dickery
An untold tale
The semantics of skin removal
Possession vs. retrograde amnesia
The circle of nostalgia

NEXT EPISODE: Jorts Unlimited!

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As Mentioned in Episode 275 – End of the Summer

December 1, 2019 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

HI, PROSH. (X-Force #39)

Look at this charming weirdo. (X-Force #39)

You see what I mean about the frolicking? (X-Force #39)

Damn skippy! (X-Force #39)

Well, that can’t be good. (X-Force #39)

I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING (X-Force #39)

This whole issue has a very Looney Toons vibe. (X-Factor #107)

It’s good that they can find common ground. (X-Factor #107)

Gravity: she’s a harsh mistress. (X-Factor #107)

Again: I really love the way the art here leans into Strong Guy’s inherent cartoonishness. (X-Factor #107)

Ouch. (X-Factor #107)

That cover! (Uncanny X-Men #318)

The choker really does seem to have an extra layer of symbolism, especially considering the color vs. the rest of her outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #318)

You tried, buddy. (Uncanny X-Men #318)

Serious X-Terminators vibes, right? (Uncanny X-Men #318)

“But, y’know, good luck with that.” (Uncanny X-Men #318)

She’s not wrong, Warren. (Uncanny X-Men #318)

…it works, though. (Uncanny X-Men #318)

NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy!

LINKS & FURTHER CRYPTIDS:

Jay co-wrote a Thor novel! You can pre-order it here, if you are so inclined.
For more on Fred Dukes and confronting and subverting the fatphobic tropes around his characterization, listen to Episode 240 – Live at ECCC, feat. Vita Ayala, Seanan McGuire, & Leah Williams!
“End of the Summer” is a really good song.

275 – End of the Summer

December 1, 2019 Jay 9 comments

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In which Professor is too cool for the Phalanx; fatphobia is significantly more dangerous than Fred Dukes; Strong Guy catches a plane; Emma Frost will not let you coast; Jubilee says goodbye to the X-Men; and it’s probably for the best that we have avoided corporate advertisers.

X-PLAINED:

Mr. M
Thor: Metal Gods
Ship (more) (again)
The Phalanx vs. the Borg
Several cover homages
X-Force #39
X-Factor #107
Uncanny X-Men #318
Prosh
The myriad delights of embodiment
A complex theory about Leprechauns
Benefits of single-issue stories
Strong Guy vs. the Blob
Strong Guy vs. Gravity
Strong Guy vs. an airplane
Strong Guy vs. biology
Several explosions
The kids of Generation X
Deluxe-format comics
The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning
Goodbyes
Dazzler’s relative immortality
Jay’s X-Men Happy Meal Toy wish list
How to make a page-accurate Warlock toy

NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 274 – The Red Shoe Prophecies

November 24, 2019 Jay Leave a comment

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LINKS & FURTHER RECORDINGS:

Read Chris Eddleman and Robert Secundus’s X-Annotations at Xavier Files and Polygon!
Follow Chris on Twitter here!
Listen to Chrises on Infinite Earths…
…and follow them on Twitter!

274 – The Red Shoe Prophecies (feat. Chris Eddleman)

November 24, 2019 Jay 16 comments

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In which Chris Eddleman joins us for a close look at House of X and Powers of X; Doug Ramsey is highly relevant; resurrection is problematic in a universe with a documented afterlife; there is no reasonable in-continuity justification for the lack of trans Marvel characters; and your OT3 is canon.

X-PLAINED:

The Phalanx (more) (again) (retconned)
House of X
Powers of X
Krakoa (more) (again) (retconned)
Moira MacTaggert (retconned)
Bar Sinister
Sinister Secrets
Portentous red shoes
The Man-Machine Ascendancy
Chimeras
North
Cardinal
Rasputin
Homo Novissima
Transhumanism in the Marvel Universe
The metaphysics of Krakoan resurrection
The Five
The true nature of Goldballs’ powers
Trans representation and its absence
Retroactive foreshadowing

NEXT EPISODE: Still not quite Generation X

CORRECTION: The story Jay referred to as “Everything Burns” is in fact titled “Time Runs Out,” although a good many things do burn over its course.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 273 – The Back-End Creep

November 17, 2019 Jay 2 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Ouch. (Wolverine #85)

Do you think Cable got there early and then waited for someone to say his name so he could make a dramatic entrance? (Wolverine #85)

here is your large adult son (Wolverine #85)

Aw, man, right in the feels. (Wolverine #85)

And again. (Wolverine #85)

I like this cover more than it probably deserves. (Cable #16)

Lang’s tiny panties might be the weirdest thing about the whole Phalanx situation. (Cable #16)

Well, that happened. (Cable #16)

Cable vs. Derrida. (Cable #16)

He really never learns. (Cable #16)

It’s cute how anyone ever thinks Cameron Hodge is going to accept defeat with grace. (Cable #16)

GET IT? ‘CAUSE HE’S POINTY! (Cable #16)

NEXT EPISODE: Talking House of X and Powers of X with Chris Eddleman!

LINKS & FURTHER CATASTROPHES:

WHOA DANG WE’VE BEEN ON A LOT OF PODCASTS LATELY!
- Miles joined Titan Up the Defense for Tales of the Haunted Disco Barn…
- …and got his Dracula on in Exiled’s Assault on Camelot Eternal!
- Meanwhile, Jay joined the Fantasticast for a look at Karma’s debut!
Did you know that Jay co-wrote a Thor novel? Because that happened. (Lila Cheney is in it, so you know it’s gonna be cool.)

273 – The Back-End Creep (The Phalanx Covenant, Part 3 of 3)

November 17, 2019 Jay 10 comments

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In which we have been on All the Podcasts; Full Shred Thrash is easier to say that it sounds; the Phalanx uses dial-up; Cable is a very large man; Larry Hama writes excellent banter; Cyclops has been progressively desensitized to plane crashes; Cameron Hodge is never graceful in defeat; and Final Sanction is actually about family.

X-PLAINED:

Mithras
A large number of guest appearances
Thor: Metal Gods
The Phalanx Covenant so far
Full Shred Thrash
Adam Kubert
Wolverine #85
Cable #16
Gorp, Waldo, and Apache
Popping silk
A Summers family reunion
Jean and Nathan
Jean Grey’s astral form
Genetics
Several airplanes
Mountain climbing
Gelatinous yahoos
Several impermanent deaths
Pregnant X-team members
Outside references to the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: House of X, feat. Chris Eddleman

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 272 – Children of the Phalanx

November 17, 2019 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

(X-Factor #106)

Damn skippy. (X-Factor #106)

Ew. (X-Factor #106)

Okay, the Phalanx is legitimately both cool and scary here. (X-Factor #106)

The looks on their respective faces really make this panel. (X-Factor #106)

R.I.P. (X-Factor #106)

Oh, THESE jerks. Again. (X-Factor #106)

Forge-o-Vision involves a lot of lucite rods, apparently. (X-Factor #106)

Douglock X-Plains the Phalanx. (X-Factor #106)

Spoiler: It’s all Phalanx. (X-Force #38)

My kingdom for this panel as drawn by Barry Windsor-Smith. (X-Force #38)

HE LOOKS LIKE A DINOSAUR OKAY (X-Force #38)

The Babel Spire has some serious Inferno vibes. (Excalibur #82)

Oh, yeah, this DEFINITELY ends well. (Excalibur #82)

Presenting: The stealth team. (Excalibur #82)

NEXT EPISODE: The Summers family goes rock climbing.

272 – Children of the Phalanx (the Phalanx Covenant, Part 2 of 3)

November 10, 2019 Jay 19 comments

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In which Ship was inside Cable all along; Life Signs is the Two Towers of the Phalanx Covenant (but only in the bad ways), it’s lucky that the Phalanx doesn’t have WiFi; Nightcrawler embraces chaos; and we promise the crossover gets better next chapter.

X-PLAINED:

How Cable got his Ship back
Miles’s official stance on candy corn
The Two Towers of the Phalanx Covenant
X-Factor #106
X-Force #38
Excalibur #82
A monastery party
Douglock (more) (again)
Forge-O-Vision
How Steven Lang got mixed up with the Phalanx
Stages of Phalanx development
Babel
Giuseppe Russo, shepherd
The Phalanx, but dogs
Shinar
What you get when you meet a stranger in the Alps
Whom we’d like to see draw the Phalanx
Mindwifery
Adulthood
“Stealth”
Where baby Phalanxes come from
Teamwork
Good stories about Hope Summers
What happened to Paul Bailey

NEXT EPISODE: Rock climbing with the Summers Family

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 271 – Abs for Days

November 3, 2019 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

And we open our cover spotlight series with Monet, who is, for some reason, tiptoeing in big clunky boots. (Uncanny X-Men #316)

A name AND implied backstory? Yeah, she’s doomed. (Uncanny X-Men #316)

Okay, yeah, Kubert’s Banshee can get it. (Uncanny X-Men #316)

This is actually a great look. Too bad it’s a Phalanx doppelgänger. (Uncanny X-Men #316)

There they are, folks: Banshee’s abs. (Uncanny X-Men #316)

Next up: Synch! (X-Men #36)

He just looks so wrong with the intact glasses! (X-Men #36)

Showing a bunch of predominantly white cops holding guns on an unarmed black teenager while claiming that superpowers are the only issue in play is a pretty good illustration of exactly how the mutant metaphor fails at intersectionality. (X-Men #36)