Because It's About Time Someone Did
Week of March 11, 2015
In which the All-New X-Men reading order breaks laws of space and time, depth of focus is a startlingly underused storytelling tool, and Rachel’s blood feud with the Denver Airport continues.
Reviewed:
*Pick of the Week (8:05)
These video reviews are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Oh, hell, yeah! It’s Rogue time, y’all!
Evolution Rogue is awesome. She’s one of the characters who fares best in reimagining–as I wrote about Cyclops in S1E1, Rogue is very recognizably written in the spirit of some of the best previous versions of the character, with the letter flexible enough to let her develop organically in her new context and setting.
So it should be no surprise when I tell you that a lot of the best stuff in the generally pretty shaky and uneven Season One centers around Rogue. And that, my friends, begins here. Lace up your best New Rocks, dig up some black lipstick (or steal your friend’s eyeliner crayon and be careful not to lick your lips), and get ready to rumble.
Or, y’know, whatever.
Listen to the episode here!
“Nah. Just a book recommendation.”
“Because it really sounds like foreshadowing, Sam.”
“Former X-Man, huh?”
(X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
Many thanks to Emergency Backup Co-Host and Alpha Flight X-Pert (is there an Alpha-Flight-appropriate portmanteau for that?) Elisabeth Allie! Go check out Elisabeth’s blog, and follower her on Twitter!
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In which Emergency Backup Co-Host Elisabeth Allie saves the day; the Berserkers are not the breakout hit you’ve been waiting for; Paul Smith continues to be awesome; nothing good ever happens in the Danger Room; Charles Xavier dabbles in cosplay; Nightcrawler has serious hat game; Rachel Summers lacks healthy coping skills; your life would be way more epic if Claremont narrated it; Northstar is a surprisingly good prom date; Loki is a total dick; and Longshot is totally Miles’s favorite.
X-PLAINED:
NEXT WEEK: Asgardian Wars!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!
Support us on Patreon!
Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!
Week of March 4, 2015.
In which Monet is awesome, Wolverines is ridiculous, and the Denver Airport might actually be Hell.
Reviewed:
*Pick of the week (6:23)
These video reviews are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Rachel here.
I’m still out of town, still dealing with the stuff that took me away a week ago. (I’m not going to go into details—as Miles wrote over on tumblr, I’m a fairly private person, and I don’t really want to discuss my personal life and family on public media.)
However, since this has now come up repeatedly, I want to explain a little about what my absence means for Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men in the very short-term, and to address a few specific questions and comments we’ve received.
Saving the world is all well and good, but Kitty Pryde knows what superheroism is REALLY about: the costumes!
This month, we’re celebrating Kitty’s myriad and multiversal superthreads with David Wynne’s fantastic homage to the classic Frazetta What’s New Pussycat? poster, featuring a whopping seven of Kitty’s signature looks over the years. For bonus mileage, go meta and incorporate it into your own superhero costume—or use the matching mugs to get you through the Kitty’s Costumes drinking game next time you marathon the Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men archives!
What’s New Shadowcat? shirts will be available until April 1, then disappear forever (mugs, tote bags, and/or throw pillows may persevere longer). David also has the original art for sale over here!
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In which we bid a fond farewell to Bill Sienkiewicz; Secret Wars II continues to ruin everything; the New Mutants end up in an improbable number of gladiatorial arenas; Shadowcat’s secondary mutation is queer subtext; Magik gives no fucks about your crossover event; Warlock transcends storytelling conventions; and Karma rejoins the team.
X-PLAINED:
NEXT WEEK: Miles and Elisabeth Allie X-Plain X-Men / Alpha Flight
No visual companion this week, because, reasons.
Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!
Support us on Patreon!
Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!
Week of February 25, 2015.
In which Miles once again holds down the fort, and Rachel is too tired to come up with more engaging copy than this.
Reviewed:
Pick of the Week: Avengers World #17; which is neither technically an X-book nor of this week, but is good enough that we don’t care. (8:19)
RACHEL ADDS:
I kind of love Miles’s vague implication that I’m cooling my heels in Mexico until things blow over.
Here are my very short and sleep-deprived addenda to the reviews:
All-New X-Men #38
Often, “very Bendis” is a compliment. This is not one of those times: the cleverness comes at the expense of characters’ voices. Not exactly bad, but frustrating. I’m pretty damn excited about Teen Space Pirate Cyclops to the rescue, though; and the fact that that probably means a more organic end to the Cyclops ongoing than the abrupt cancellation I was sort of expecting.
Spider-Man and the X-Men #3
This is the ideal use of this team, and I feel really good about it and also about Ernst busting down walls. The first few issues were fun but kind of flailing; here, it feels like the book is really finding its voice and catching its stride.
Amazing X-Men #17
Too busy cracking up at the return of one of my favorite dumb Silver-Age villains to objectively review this.
Wolverines #8
Um, actually, Miles, both Fang’s debut and the incident in which Wolverine stole his costume took place during the M’Kraan Crystal storyline, not the Dark Phoenix Saga.
That said, there is literally nothing about this issue that I did not enjoy immensely. Also, I really hope that Fang and Volstagg turn out to be buddies, because they obviously should be.
Uncanny Avengers #2
Meh. I’m having trouble caring about this storyline. I recognize that Acuña is objectively good at what he does, but at the same time, his art completely fails to hold my attention, which sort of sums up my feelings on this series in general.
-Rachel, who is not actually on the lam in Mexico; although she has learned a lot over the last few days about the laws and logistics concerning international transport of human remains.
These video reviews are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
You know how I said that X-Men: Evolution is really entertaining even when it’s really, really bad? This week, we’re gonna put that to the test. Prepare for more rock puns than you have ever heard in a single 22-minute stretch. Also, Transformers. Kinda.
In other news, I still have no idea what the titles refer to.
BUT FIRST, A PRETEND HORROR MOVIE!
We open with the Pryde home, in a fictional town in Illinois. The town has a name, but I don’t care what it is, and it’s never going to be relevant again, so I’m just gonna call it Fake Deerfield. Cool? Cool.
Kitty dreams that she’s falling, and–spoiler–she actually falls through her bed and floor and lands in the basement. She wakes up screaming, and her parents rush down to comfort her. They think she was sleepwalking–until they look up and a PORTENTOUS FLASH OF LIGHTNING illuminates her blanket, embedded in the basement ceiling.
OH MY GOD! THAT’S–actually, wait, that’s not scary at all.
Okay, look, I get what they were shooting for here, but you know who has the least horror-movie powers of just about all the X-Men? Hint: It’s definitely Kitty, barring the stories where phased becomes her default state (which this isn’t). Framing this scene and the Prydes’ cheerfully generic suburban house like a horror movie reminds me of one of those recut trailers where you try to make a movie look like a genre it obviously isn’t; or a kid telling a shaggy-dog joke and then waiting for you to be overjoyed at the lack of punchline; or the entire movie White Noise.1 It’s all buildup, with no proportionate payoff.
Meanwhile, back at Stately Xavier Manor, Kitty’s late-night spill pings Cerebro. Does anyone else find it unsettling that Professor X has a psychic supercomputer that provides him with turnaround full body scans of teenagers?
Also, Cerebro accurately predicts the outfit that Kitty is going to wear to school the next day.2
“What am I?” wails Kitty. “What’s happening to me?” Just give it five seconds, kid–the credits montage identifies you quite clearly as Shadowcat.