Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

The Famous Five

Art by David Wynne
Art by David Wynne

Last week, our kickass Patreon subscribers unlocked weekly illustrations as a milestone goal, and we are tremendously pleased to present the second of those, in which David Wynne references Episode 21 to bring us a mash-up shamefully absent from pop culture thus far: the original X-Men as Enid Blyton’s YA-adventure classic Famous Five!

Patreon subscribers get a high-res desktop background version of the image. If you want a larger version you can hold, frame, lick, &c., David will have the original for sale here (alongside a lot of other very rad X-Plain the X-Men-related originals).

Nominally, this is a weekly thing, but we love this one enough that we’re going to keep prints available for the rest of September in our Redbubble shop.

(And if you want the desktop, you can subscribe to the Patreon here!)

As Mentioned in Episode 21 – Kurt Busiek at the Coffee-a-Go-Go

Listen to the episode here!



Links & Further Reading:

FAQ, Part Three: Questions and Comments

 

W - Whedon; A - Cassady
W – Whedon; A – Cassady

We get questions.

We get a lot of questions.

But there are some questions we get more than others.

This is the third of a multi-part series. As we post questions and answers on the blog, we’ll also add them to the FAQ page!


 

I have a question for the X-Perts! Where should I put it?

You can send your question via any of the following means:

  • Post it in the comments anywhere on this website.
  • Use the website contact form.
  • E-mail it to us at xplainthexmen (at) gmail (dot) com.
  • Drop it in our Tumblr askbox.
  • Tweet it at @xplainthexmen, or hashtag it #xplainthexmen on Twitter.

 

Why haven’t you answered my question yet?

When we get a question–an X-Plaining question, we mean, not, say, an immediate logistical question–we drop it into a massive spreadsheet, from which we then pull questions for the podcast. As of this FAQ, that spreadsheet contains over 300 questions, of which we have so far explicitly answered around 70 (and covered about that many others within the bodies of episodes).

We usually answer 2-3 questions every episode. Here are some of the factors that go into why we do or don’t pick any given questions for any given episode:

  • Relevance: We try to pick questions that connect–at least tangentially–to what we’re covering in that episode.
  • Novelty: If we’ve covered a question already–either explicitly, or in the body of an episode–we probably won’t revisit it. We’re working on an index of questions we’ve answered in previous episodes; when it’s up, we’ll update this FAQ to reflect that.
  • Tone: Are you being a dick? Are you trying to bait us into bad-mouthing creators or other members of our community, or asking something super personal? We are not into that. Is your question a statement of fact or opinion–or a long diatribe–followed by the word “right”? We are also not into that.
  • Utility: If your question can be answered with a simple Google search, we will probably not answer it on the podcast.
  • Scope: We are good at doing research and entertainingly justifying our opinions. We prefer not to speculate on other people’s private lives and personal motivations, and we don’t have a secret channel to creators’ intentions or the “real” truth about things that have been written inconsistently in canon. If your question is about one of those things, we will probably not answer it.
  • Channels: Did you send the question to the podcast contact form, e-mail it to the podcast address put it in our blog comments, ask through the rachelandmiles Tumblr askbox, or tweet to @XplaintheXMen? If not, your question has fallen down the Memory Hole, to be feasted upon by the Memory Eels who dwell therein.

THAT SAID:
There is one and only one way to make absolutely sure we answer your question: a few of our Patreon subscriber levels include a certain number of bespoke answers, which we will hand write, seal with wax, and mail to you in the dead of night. You can find out more about those here.

Why didn’t you publish / why did you delete my comment?

We are super lucky: most of our listeners–at least the ones who comment here–are rad as hell and make the job of moderating the comments incredibly easy. However, sometimes we come across a comment that we would rather not have on our site. Here are some examples of comments we have removed:

  • Accidental double-posts. These account for the overwhelming majority of the deletion we have done thus far.
  • Posts that contain no content or obviously posted mid-typing.
  • Promotional links that have no bearing on the post you’re commenting on or the conversation you’re entering. Our comments section is not free ad space.
  • Speculation about creators’ personal lives.
  • Speculation about our personal lives.
  • Comments about Rachel’s appearance and/or requests that she smile more, take off her sunglasses, &c. (The same would apply to comments about Miles; we just haven’t gotten any).
  • Rape jokes or things that are so close to being rape jokes that the line is essentially academic.

 

What else might get a comment deleted?

Off the top of our heads?

  • Threats or incitement to violence of any sort directed at real people.
  • Blatantly sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, or otherwise bigoted language.
  • Blatant derailing.
  • Outing anyone else’s personal information, including real names.
  • Use of sock puppets.
  • NSFW content, or links to NSFW content without warnings.
  • Blatant spoilers for current or very recent media.
  • Gratuitous meanness.

Note, however, that these aren’t hard guidelines, nor a comprehensive list. We reserve the right to remove or edit comments according to our judgment (Incidentally: if we alter the text of a comment, we’ll *always* make a note of that within the comment).

I found an e-mail address for Rachel on her professional website / via an article she wrote. Can I send my podcast question there?

You can, but it’ll go straight to the Memory Eels. Seriously, there are like six ways to send a question to the podcast. Use one of those.

Why haven’t you answered my e-mail yet?

We get a lot of e-mail. If it’s something super time-sensitive, please nudge us.

As Mentioned in Episode 20 – The Brood They Carried

Listen to the podcast here!


Further reading:

The Things They Carried, by Tim O’Brien.

FAQ, Part Two: Core Curriculum

X-Men: Legacy #300.
X-Men: Legacy #300.

We get questions.

We get a lot of questions.

But there are some questions we get more than others.

This is the second of a multi-part series. As we post questions and answers on the blog, we’ll also add them to the FAQ page!


CORE CURRICULUM

 

I’ve never read any X-Men. Where should I start?

  • For a self-contained story covering a lot of the silver age: X-Men: Season One
  • For the long-game path to the present: Giant-Size X-Men #1
  • For a fairly thorough walk-up to the modern era: Morrison/Quitely’s run on New X-Men, followed by Whedon/Cassady’s on Astonishing X-Men, followed by Messiah Complex. Continue in order from there.

 

I want to jump into current X-books. Where should I start for a vague understanding of what’s currently going on?

Episode 16.

Where can I find a good reference guide to crossovers and reading order for multiple X-series?

We like UncannyXMen.net! For the Silver Age, check out the X-Axis archives.

What current X-books do you recommend?

  • If you want to keep abreast of current line-wide events and only plan to subscribe to one or two titles: Uncanny X-Men and All-New X-Men.
  • If you like character-driven stories, space adventures, and solo books that stand alone: Cyclops.
  • If you like globally-oriented character-driven stories and solo books branching directly from team books: Storm.
  • If you like cross-genre team stories with strong authorial voice: X-Force.
  • If you like teenagers and time travel: Wolverine and the X-Men.
  • If you like war stories: Savage Wolverine.
  • If you like pictures of Gambit half-naked and covered in kittens: X-Factor.
  • If you miss old-school Claremont: Nightcrawler.

For an ongoing guide to what’s on the shelves, you can catch our weekly video reviews of current titles here.

As Mentioned on Episode 19 – Acorns and Swords

Listen to the episode here!


Rachel and Miles Review the X-Men – Episode 2

Week of 8/14/14 – In which famine turns to feast, and we’re still getting the hang of this whole iMovie situation.

Reviewed:

  • All-New X-Men #30
  • Amazing X-Men #10
  • Nightcrawler #5
  • Wolverine #11
  • Wolverine and the X-Men #7
  • X-Force #8
  • X-Men #18

Pick of the week:

  • X-Force #8

Video reviews are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

FAQ, Part One: Content

Cyclops #3. W: Greg Rucka; A: Russell Dauterman; C: Chris Sotomayor
Cyclops #3. W: Greg Rucka; A: Russell Dauterman; C: Chris Sotomayor

We get questions.

We get a lot of questions.

But there are some questions we get more than others.

This is the first of a multi-part series. As we post questions and answers on the blog, we’ll also add them to the FAQ page!


Today, we’re going to cover content:

 

 

Why haven’t you covered my favorite story / character / miniseries yet?

We are working our way through hundreds of characters and thousands of comics. Be patient. We’ll get there.

 

Are you going to cover [specific story arc / X-related series like Excalibur, New Mutants, Fallen Angels, X-Factor, &c.]?

Probably. See above.

 

When are you going to get Brian Bendis / Matt Fraction / Chris Claremont / other X-writer or artist on the show?

When they return our e-mails. *rimshot*

Nah, seriously, we do have a long wish-list of guests–and some very cool ones confirmed for future episodes–but we try to make sure they’ve got a reason to be there, either because they’ve got a relevant book coming out, or because they’ve got a particular connection to territory we’re covering in a specific episode.

 

I am a writer, artist, editor, or other creative professional with experience on X-Men stuff, and I would like to be on your podcast!

Awesome! Please drop us a line!

 

Will you be guests / guest hosts on my podcast / YouTube channel / blog?

Maybe? We are pretty busy, but drop us a line, and we can talk.

 

Can I be a guest or Emergency Backup Co-Host on Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men?

Probably not unless you are an X-book writer, artist, or editor; a very good friend of ours with a lot of podcasting experience and X-know-how; or both.

 

Will you publish my article or guest post?

We are not currently accepting unsolicited pitches or submissions.

 

Will you post my fan art?

If it’s podcast pertinent, totally (we don’t usually post general X-Men fan art, though). E-mail it to xplainthexmen(at)gmail.com.

As Mentioned on Episode 18 – You’ve Got a Dracula Problem

Listen to the episode here!



AND NOW, THE CONTEST WINNERS!

Last week, we asked you to pitch your best ideas for X-Men games to win a download code for the <em>Days of Future Past</em> mobile game. (Thanks again, Glitchsoft!)

Before we announce the winners, let us take a moment to rave: You are brilliant, and we are legitimately pretty pissed off that we can’t play most of these games, because they look awesome. We wish we could give you all prizes.

Based on a complicated imaginary algorithm involving on originality, narrative/gameplay fit and integration, playability, and personal whim, we are pleased to announce that the grand-prize winners are as follow:

Newtype53:

1) The Silver-Age X-Men (taking heavily from Season One and First Class), going right up to the Bronze age with the Phoenix/Dark Phoenix Saga. Why?

2) It’s a Japanese-style “dating sim” game, with a heavy focus on character relations. Any mutant combat will cover RPG elements in an old 8-bit Final Fantasy format, with a 5-man team selectable for the squad.

3) Marvel Girl. However, each of the other original 5 X-Men have their own storyline that unlock after beating Jean’s, with Jean’s storyline being the canon one that follows up through her canonical death as the Dark Phoenix (or does it? Multiple endings with potential happy endings, anyone?). Do you choose to follow the canon and romance Cyclops? What about his brooding brother who just wants a damned normal life? Or the magnificent Angel? The brooding Wolverine? The angry Thunderbird? Do you still love Hank when he’s literally blue? Or are you more into Iceman? The potential is endless! Romance Professor X (ewwwwwww) for the bonus unlockable option to play through a storyline as Professor X, manipulating the hell out of your students to your own ends!

As a bonus, any Mutant met can be drawn into the X-Men through specific dialogue choices, though none of the recruited X-Men can be romanced. However, this may alienate other members of the team, and can even cause them to leave the X-Men!

Craig S:

1) X-Treme X-Men

2) Turn-based RPG

3) James Howlett, Kurt Waggoner, Emmeline Frost, Xavier’s Head, Dazzler

Chrono-trigger style game where you travel from timeline to timeline hunting down evil Charles Xaviers, generally in the order you choose. You’d start with a basic team, and collect new members as you go to their individual timelines.

We’ll be e-mailing you those download codes later today!

We also want to take a moment to acknowledge two other really superlative entries. You do not get download codes, so, as a compensation prize, here is another picture of that panel of Cyclops telling Dracula to follow his heart:

FollowYourHeart

SO ANYWAY.

BEST JUST-FOR-FUN:

Elle:

1. Kitty Pryde and Wolverine (the ’84-85 miniseries)
2. Ninja Gaiden-esque sidescrolling platformer with melodramatic cutscenes. Ninjas ninjas ninjas.
3. Alternate levels as Kitty getting into trouble in Japan and Wolverine trying to find her. In the last level you can choose which of them to play as you fight the other one, but then the winner has to take on final boss Ogun.

BEST NOT-SURE-THIS-ACTUALLY-COUNTS-AS-A-GAME-BUT-WE-ARE-BOTH-IMPRESSED-AND-SLIGHTLY-FRIGHTENED-BY-YOUR-INGENUITY:

McArdle:

1. Name: Siege Perilous: The Game
2. Platform: pervasive throughout your life. You download an app on your phone and it replaces your twitter, your facebook, your instagram, your contacts, and everything else with the media and social life of a better version of yourself. The game is to learn to live as that person. There is no going back.
3. Playable character: you, but maybe a ninja version of you.