Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Category: As Mentioned

As Mentioned in Episode 96 – Horsemen of the Playground

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Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
How you know a psychic event is a big deal: the cross-franchise reaction montage! (X-Factor Annual #3)
Well, that’s certainly one way to stage an intervention. (X-Factor Annual #3)
These delightful scamps. (X-Factor Annual #3)
Warlock, never change. (New Mutants Annual #4)
Can we have a moment of rapt silence for how well June Brigman draws body language? (New Mutants Annual #4)
The High Evolutionary’s head scientist, Stack, appears to be dual-wielding a cane and a staple gun. Because, evolution. (New Mutants Annual #4)
“On Wednesdays, we wear pink.” (New Mutants Annual #4)
Hell, yeah, equal-opportunity battle lingerie! (Well, except for Magneto, but he marches to the beat of his own fuchsia drum.) (New Mutants Annual #4)
Horses: totally the worst. (New Mutants Annual #4)
The scene that blew tiny Miles’s tiny mind. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
Man, if we had a dollar for every time that happened… (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
POIT: Definitely the cutest sound effect. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
In which Alex comes *this close* to the realization that Charles Xavier is totally a supervillain. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
SURE, WHY NOT? (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
Remember the time Storm had adventures on pirate space city on the back of a flying wolf? Because that was definitely a thing that actually happened. (Classic X-Men #22)
Oh, THAT guy. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
I’m not actually certain they ever followed up on this. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
It’s kind of a shame this logo didn’t stick around, because it’s pretty sweet. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
NEXT EPISODE: Captain Britain!

As Mentioned in Episode 95 – Earthfall

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
TFW you forget a plotline for over a year and have to recap not only the original hook, but the entire context. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
If I had a dollar for every time this had happened when I was out camping… (Uncanny X-Men #232)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
That is definitely not how you perform CPR. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
A lot of our nightmares start like this. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
“Okay. This looks bad.” (Uncanny X-Men #233)
Nope. (Uncanny X-Men #233)
That’s… actually, that’s incredibly reasonable. (Uncanny X-Men #233)
How much do we love this cover? SO MUCH. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
That couple in the background are by far our favorite characters in this arc. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
And again. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
“So, meth, then?” (Uncanny X-Men #234)
Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men #232)
You know that thing where you have a really awful dream about someone you know, and you wake up really mad at them, and then you team up with demons and try to sacrifice a bunch of babies and turn New York into Hell? Yeah, me, too. (Uncanny X-Men #233)
In Madelyne’s defense, this really is a super fucked up dream. (Uncanny X-Men #233)
“She’s her old self again, but about six inches shorter.” (Uncanny X-Men #233)
There is literally nothing okay about what is going on here. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
Has anyone ever tried to reproduce this awesome manicure IRL? You should do that. (Uncanny X-Men #234)
The first official apparance of one of the worst villain costumes in X-Men. At least it’s memorable? (Uncanny X-Men #234)
Next Week: This asshole.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

As Mentioned in Episode 94 – WELCOME TO DIE!

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Pryde of the X-Men‘s character designs are pretty damned comics-accurate, if slightly pastel. (I guess Kitty would have gotten her Shadowcat costume later?)
Real talk: if you watch this show on VHS, Spider-Man takes a minute of your time beforehand to tell you how important it is to vote.
Okay, that’s a legitimately cool way of showing how awesome telepathy can be. And a legitimately GI Joe-looking moment.
“Choose your character, Kitty Pryde!”
This image documents Kitty’s single moment of hesitation before she decides that following a bunch of strangers into space is a great plan.
Pryde of the X-Men‘s Storm may actually be her best on-screen portrayal.
“G’day! Let’s get a dingo on the barbie, you wallaby! Foster’s!”
This makes me actually kind of wish Dazzler had been on the team in the early 80s.
The Arcade Game: Heroes!
The Arcade Game: Villains!
It’s… basically a whole lot of this.
Three Living Monoliths for the price of one!
Twelve-year-old Miles was in heaven. Thirty-three-year-old Miles was too.
Our players: Anna Sheffey, Miles Stokes, and Elisabeth Allie!
Next time: The Brood are back, baby.

LINKS:

As Mentioned in Episode 93 – The Discreet Charm of the Brood

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
JEEZ, MOM.
Just… don’t get on planes if you’re a mutant. It’s not worth it.
Nature is terrible.
Ever kiss somebody so hard that you set the world on fire? Well, probably not, unless you’re Magma.
Okay, that’s just adorable.
It’s not that knives aren’t intimidating…
Did we mention that this issue was awesome? This issue is awesome.
There’s so much going on here.
“And after this, I’m going to go record an album with Epica.”
Poor Kitty. Poor Illyana. Poor everybody.
Damn, Blevins. Not bad.
This is… This is going to be fine.
THIS IS GOING TO BE FINE.
“Did I say Epica? I meant Iced Earth.”
Okay, that’s just badass.
Maybe Forge is channeling ancient Cheyenne magic… or maybe he just wanted translucent furry pants.
SYMBOLISM.
Stryfe: *slow clap*
And then the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come showed up.
NEXT WEEK: Pryde of the X-Men with Elisabeth Allie!

As Mentioned in Episode 92 – Living in Ship

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Love, X-Factor style. (X-Factor #27)
Days later, Manhattan is flooded. (X-Factor #27)
“Everything was going really well for like five whole pages!” (X-Factor #27)
Jean, you knocked! You really have grown up! (X-Factor #27)
Aww, squishface. (X-Factor #27)
“And I was only a few days away from retirement…” (X-Factor #28)
Gotta catch ’em all. (X-Factor #28)
Aww, Hank… (X-Factor #28)
Check out that panel composition – this is how you do show-don’t-tell. (X-Factor #28)
Just sayin’. (X-Factor #28)
Okay, I just posted this one because of Scott’s amazing death-glare. “Damn it, Bobby, I’m the one who gets to do press conferences.” (X-Factor #29)
Nabbit. Whunk. (X-Factor #29)
Aww, Hank..! (X-Factor #29)
I can’t say I fully blame Infectia for monsterizing some of these jerks. (X-Factor #29)
Walter Simonson: master of making soap opera look Epic As Hell. (X-Factor #29)
Whoa. (X-Factor #30)
I mean, she’s kind of endearing in her awfulness, right? (X-Factor #30)
Bobby Drake: overcompensating. (X-Factor #30)
These panels could have come straight out of The Mighty Thor. (X-Factor #30)
Aww, crap, they’re holding hands – you know that means you guys are completely screwed, right? (X-Factor #30)
*cue laugh track* (X-Factor #31)
Well that’s terrifying. (X-Factor #31)
Louise and Walter Simonson do the best Destiny. (X-Factor #31)
Jeez, the USPS is way more hardcore than I thought. (X-Factor #31)
Well crap. (X-Factor #31)
Next time: Sorcerers’ Duel.

As Mentioned in Episode 91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
The vaguely slapstick motifs in this story somehow make it even sadder. (New Mutants #64)
And it really only gets more depressing from here. (New Mutants #64)
No, seriously. (New Mutants #64)
Everything is terrible forever. (New Mutants #64)
=( (New Mutants #64)
Yeah, we do not have a sassy caption for this. Sorry. (New Mutants #64)
Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #64)
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
Harder than fighting Sentinels, apparently. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
“It’s four hours of me, a vacuum cleaner, and a theremin.” (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
The X-Men take costume parties REALLY DAMN SERIOUSLY. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
“Also, that is literally one of the only two non-uniform outfits you own.” (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
How not to lay out a page for coherent reading order. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
SO THEN THAT HAPPENED. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
And they all lived happily ever after. THE END! (But Doug Ramsey was still dead.) (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)

As Mentioned in Episode 90 – Ghosts of the Outback

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Dazzler is pretty fundamentally confused about the idea of “hiding out.” (Uncanny X-Men #228)
O.Z. Chase: Bounty Hunter, Not a Werewolf. (Uncanny X-Men #228)
WOLVERINE. DON’T FEED DOGS CIGARS. WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT. YOU ARE THE WORST. (Uncanny X-Men #228)
Oh, hey, it’s the Walter Peck of the Marvel Universe. (Uncanny X-Men #228)
Good times, good times. (Uncanny X-Men #228)
The Reavers. No, not those reavers. The other Reavers. One of them’s a tank. Centank. Tanktaur. (Uncanny X-Men #229)
That tattoo, man. (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Hi, Gateway! (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Do these guys know how to party, or what? (Uncanny X-Men #229)
“Look, we didn’t really think the whole horde thing through.” (Uncanny X-Men #229)
“Also, you’ll start spelling ‘tiger’ with a Y.” (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Those sound effects! (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Chekhov’s mystic portal. (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Really not feeling that costume, Storm. (Uncanny X-Men #230)
SPOILER: This will not end well. (Uncanny X-Men #230)
Question: Based on his powers, is it SUPER AWKWARD for Longshot to use the toilet? (Uncanny X-Men #230)
Alex. You’re the Summers brother who can see colors. There is no excuse for this. (Uncanny X-Men #230)
Elf Dazzler meshes weirdly well with the whole “Baby Boomer Santa” thing from Community. (Uncanny X-Men #230)
Aw. (Uncanny X-Men #230)
Rick Leonardi is so good, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
Good hat, though. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
Hot, and also hot. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT WHAT STORM IS WEARING? (Uncanny X-Men #231)
Leonardi draws the best Darkchylde by a pretty wide margin. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
How awesome would it be if the Xavier Institute always looked like this? SO AWESOME. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
Aw, man. Right in the feels. (Uncanny X-Men #231)
NEXT WEEK: The saddest story ever.

LINKS & FURTHER READING

As Mentioned in Episode 89: Giant-Size Special #3

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
It is probably okay to judge this book by its awesome cover. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Superheroes have the best anxiety dreams. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
AUGH. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
BEHIND THE SCENES: Jay keeps accidentally calling the Warwolves Whywolves. It’ll probably happen on air eventually. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Hi, Meggan! (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
The feeling of wanting to yell at Brian Braddock will be your constant and loyal companion in this series. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
THAT BEDROOM, THO (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Meggan is the nicest person ever. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Sexiest Nightcrawler! (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Gatecrasher: never not delightful. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Omniversal Majestrix Opal Luna Saturnine. You can tell she’s important because her hair is extra swoopy. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
More Technet. Look at these beautiful people. Look at them. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
London takes fancy-dress parties seriously. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Sexiest Nightcrawler stars in the Sexiest Intervention. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
“No sense moping. I’m gonna manifest a cosmic force and start dressing like I’m on Dynasty.” (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
BLIX! JRBL! VOOTIE! Your argument is invalid. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
The True Meaning of Christmas. (Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn)
Elle casts Excalibur:

Captain Britain – Richard Madden
Megan – Hannah Murray
Shadowcat – Isabelle Fuhrman
Phoenix – Karen Gillan
Nightcrawler – Danny Pudi
Saturnyne/Courtney Ross/etc – Natalie Dormer

(Seriously, though, can we all just take a moment to think about Daveed Diggs as Nightcrawler? -J)
Elle casts Technet (and Alistaire Stuart):

Gatecrasher – Kathy Bates
Scatterbrain – Cara Delevingne
China Doll – Tristan Risk
Ferro – Ray Park
Thug – Hornswoggle
Alistaire Stuart – Arthur Darvill

It’s your very own printable Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Award for Excellence in X-Cellence! GO, YOU!
Jay knew the Blingee account they had registered to add sparkles to Dazzler covers and photos of Nolan North would come in handy again someday!

 

THE 2015 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE IN X-CELLENCE

23_corbeau_blingee

  • Best X-Writer – Dennis Hopeless
  • Best X-Artist – Mike Norton
  • Best X-Colorist – Jordie Bellaire
  • Best Soap Opera – Inferno
  • Irene Adler Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Book or Series – X-Men ’92 ongoing
  • Harvey and Janet Award for Best Walk-On – Falcon Pirate (Wolverines #1)
  • About Damn Time – Iceman comes out (All-New X-Men #40 and X-Men #600)
  • Cyclops Has a Good Day Award – Uncanny X-Men #600
  • Shameless Pandering – X-Men ’92
  • MetaCorbeau for Exemplary Use of Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau in a Comic Book – Al Ewing (Mighty Avengers #8)
  • Best Ongoing X-Series – X-Force (w: Si Spurrier; a: various)
  • Rising Star – Wolverine (Laura Kinney)
  • Best Withering Sneers* – Kristafer Anka
  • The Didn’t-Fit-Into-Any-Other-Categories-and-Isn’t-Technically-an-X-Book-but-We-Wanted-to-Give-It-an-Award-Anyway Award – Siege (w: Kieron Gillen, a: Filipe Andrade)
  • Still the Best Listeners of Any Podcast, Ever – YOU. Again.**

*Kris Anka owns this category so thoroughly that, in the name of fairness, he will be disqualified starting in 2016; at which point the name of this category will officially change to the Kristafer Anka Award for Best Withering Sneer in an X-Book.

**Seriously. We may be a wee bit biased; but honestly, you’re just wildly unfair to the competition.

CLASSIC CORBEAUS (for older X-material covered in the podcast during 2015)

  • Buried Treasure – Fallen Angels
  • You Tried – Magneto (New Mutants)
  • Jack Kirby Award for Best Intersection of Weird and Epic in a Single Character Design – Walter Simonson (Archangel, X-Factor)
  • Improbably Endearing Moppet – Franklin Richards
  • High Bar Award – Bill Sienkiewicz (New Mutants)
  • Most Heroic Hair – Alan Davis
  • Most Organized Supervillain – Cameron Hodge

SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR AMAZING GUEST X-PERTS:

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

As Mentioned in Episode 88 – …Just Before Dawn

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
You never forget your first ship. (X-Factor #24)
“I mean, if those ridiculous spring arms aren’t evil, I don’t know what is.” (X-Factor #24)
Vannapocalypse White. (X-Factor #24)
This and the following seven panels are the bottoms of eight pages of X-Factor #24, running parallel to the bulk of the action taking place above.
(X-Factor #24)
(X-Factor #24)
(X-Factor #24)
(X-Factor #24)
(X-Factor #24)
(X-Factor #24)
(X-Factor #24)
And then, Caliban joins the rest of the cast. (X-Factor #24)
Okay, this looks bad. (X-Factor #24)
Recognizable presidents are few and far between in comics. (X-Factor #25)
Remember that time Power Pack straight-up killed an old lady? Because that DEFINITELY HAPPENS in this issue. (X-Factor #25)
As a former student of Charles Xavier, Iceman knows that the most expedient solution to any crisis is to fake his own death. (X-Factor #25)
Well, that was cathartic. (X-Factor #25)
Look at those sharp new costumes! (X-Factor #26)
Aw, Hank. (X-Factor #26)
ABOUT DAMN TIME. (X-Factor #26)
AND THEN! (X-Factor #26)
NEXT WEEK: Giant-Size Winter Special #2!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

As Mentioned in Episode 87 – It’s Always Darkest…

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Don’t get too attached to these guys. (New Mutants #59)
Roll for initiative! (New Mutants #59)
Lookit this E.C. lookin’ jerk! (New Mutants #59)
Truth. (New Mutants #59)
Seriously, the Ani-mator is so creepy. (New Mutants #60)
Or you could just–you know what? Never mind. Forget it. Freakin’ teenagers. (New Mutants #60)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (New Mutants #60)
Oh, THAT guy. (New Mutants #60)
How many times has he done this so far? Two? Three? (New Mutants #60)
Well, fuck. (New Mutants #60)
Well, fuck. (New Mutants #60)
Later, she justifies this by saying that it’s what Doug would have wanted, which seems questionable. (New Mutants #60)
Meanwhile, in the other 2/3 of the event… (New Mutants #61)
Even horses, Warlock. (New Mutants #61)
Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #61)
Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #61)
It really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really sucks to be New Mutants-era Magneto. (New Mutants #61)
And to add insult to injury, somehow the graduation costumes got even worse. (New Mutants #61)
NEXT WEEK: The Fall of the Mutants concludes with X-Factor!