X-Men – Page 20 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 74 – This Dumb Rumpus

September 14, 2015 Jay 6 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/20/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

We’ll be at RCCC in Portland, OR, on September 19 and 20! More info–including our first-ever live show and all-ages meetup/party–here!

These covers, man. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #1)

Well, that’s weirdly anticlimactic. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #1)

“FWIDAY.” (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #1)

Reed Richards is a terrible parent, even by superhero standards. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #1)

“Also, you really need to learn to dress better, because this is just embarrassing.” (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #1)

Well, that’s not even a little bit portentous. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #1)

They just get bleaker and bleaker. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #2)

Aw. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #2)

What. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #2)

WELL THEN. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #2)

If I had a dollar for every time I rescued a sailor and it turned out to be a Doombot… (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #2)

Reed, he literally just said he was doing it for free. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #2)

Definitely not a thing that happens at any point during the actual series. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #3)

Aw, Kitty. Aw, Franklin. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #3)

Aw, Kitty and Franklin. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #3)

Reed Richards is his own unreliable narrator. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #3)

Still a terrible parent, but he has his moments. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #3)

THAT SOUND EFFECT THO (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #3)

‘Kay. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #4)

Aw, Kitty. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #4)

Why, yes, half the captions in this post are variations on “Aw.” I REGRET NOTHING. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #4)

AW. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #4)

AWWWW. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #4)

One of us has some Feelings about this whole scenario. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #4)

Best faces, or best faces? (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #4)

Taaaaaake another drink. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #4)

Let’s all take a moment to appreciate Storm’s AMAZING outfit. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #4)

Okay, then.

Franklin Richards: Normal Human Meat Child. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #4)

IT JUST DOESN’T STOP BEING FUNNY. (Fantastic Four Versus the X-men #4)

NEXT WEEK: X-Factor still can’t get the hang of doors.

LINKS & FURTHER READING

Come see us at (and after) RCCC! You can find, table, and meetup details here.
Want to know (a lot) more about the Fantastic Four? Go listen to the Fantasticast!
Law and the Multiverse has not in fact covered the Trial of Magneto, but you should read it anyway, ’cause it’s a really interesting blog.
Here’s that one essay Rachel wrote about neurodiversity and autistic coding in X-Men.

L’Shanah Tovah!

74 – This Dumb Rumpus

September 14, 2015 Jay 37 comments

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In which Franklin Richards is definitely a normal human meat child; Thing’s code-name is delightfully ambiguous; your kids are probably robot sailors; it’s always a Doombot; Rachel accidentally identifies with Reed Richards; all dramatic roads lead to Latveria; and superheroes are terrible at conflict resolution.

X-PLAINED:

Franklin Richards
Rachel & Miles at Rose City Comic Con
Rachel & Miles X-Plain the X-Men LIVE
Fantastic Four Versus the X-Men #1-4
The best hugs in the biz
The Fantastic Four
Mr. Fantastic (Reed Richards)
Invisible Woman (Susan Richards)
Human Torch (Johnny Storm)
Thing (Ben Grimm)
The Fantasticast
Special dreams (but not that kind)
Alicia Masters (sort of)
Dubiously informative cover art
The doomed frenemyship of Reed Richards and Victor von Doom
Varyingly competent parenting
An awful lot of incidental nudity
Ethics of super-science
Robot sailors
Latveriandroids
Agency
Dubious conflict-resolution skills
Human Torch costume logistics
Dr. Doom’s history with Magneto
Relative roles and themes of Marvel teams

NEXT WEEK: X-Factor still hasn’t really gotten the hang of doors.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 72 – Thrown Under the Plot Bus

August 30, 2015 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/30/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

Mutant X Cyclops is the best Cyclops.

Surprise Walter Simons cover! YAYBO! (Uncanny X-Men #217)

The Opening Gimmick Who Cried Wolf. (Uncanny X-Men #217)

Banshee is good at adulting. (Uncanny X-Men #217)

“Seriously, guys, it’s like the whole theme of the book. I mean, aside from fighting to protect a world that hates and fears us.” (Uncanny X-Men #217)

Whether Douglas the Gentle Freak is the Doonesbury-universe version of Cypher remains a mystery. (We’d like to think so, though.)

Damn, Callisto. That’s cold. (Uncanny X-Men #217)

You do you, Alison. (Uncanny X-Men #217)

2/3 of Juggernaut fights begin with some variation of this scene (kilt negotiable). (Uncanny X-Men #217)

Um. (Uncanny X-Men #217)

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Uncanny X-Men #217)

I don’t know if there’s a word for what’s going on with Rogue’s hair, but it is AMAZING. (Uncanny X-Men #218)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Uncanny X-Men #218)

“Y’all enjoy your group hug. I’m just gonna FLING THIS FUCKING ROCK INTO SPACE.” (Uncanny X-Men #218)

Aw, Longshot. (Uncanny X-Men #218)

I know this story is all about teamwork, but Rogue definitely wins MVP of Uncanny X-Men #218.

‘Kay. (Uncanny X-Men #218)

The really great thing about this reference is that there’s also a Brigadier Lethbridge Stuart running around UK-616. I bet they get each other’s mail all the time. (Uncanny X-Men #218)

Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, Havok! (Uncanny X-Men #218)

Car Wreck Sex: The Alex Summers Story. (Uncanny X-Men #218)

This plotline will continue to dangle for like a year and a half. (Uncanny X-Men #218)

Take a drink. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

Damn, kid. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

Please let us know if you can work out the timeline here, because we’ve basically stopped sleeping, and it’s not pretty. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

I always figured Magneto would have way nicer penmanship than this. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

Lorna, you can FUCK WITH MAGNETIC FIELDS WITH YOUR MIND, AND ONE TIME YOU THREW AN ISLAND INTO SPACE. Are you really that surprised at a freak earthquake? (Uncanny X-Men #219)

If the X-line were a sitcom, they’d totally have cut from here to Scott arguing with hallucinations over in X-Factor. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

It’s okay. Everyone will be too distracted by your hat to notice the tights. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

Our heroes and yours! (Uncanny X-Men #219)

THAT. HAIR. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

NEXT WEEK: Origins of X-Men: Evolution, with Robert N. Skir!

FURTHER LISTENING:

Special thanks to the wonderful Adam Warrock for letting us sample his song “Teamwork” in this episode! You can listen to the full track here, and find more of Adam’s work at adamwarrock.com!

72 – Thrown Under the Plot Bus

August 30, 2015 Jay 52 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/6/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Dazzler is not a team player; Longshot is the Zonker Harris of the X-Men; Juggernaut is That Guy; Rachel and Miles channel Statler and Waldorf; and Alex Summers is seriously never, ever going to finish grad school.

X-PLAINED:

Mutant X
The only well-adjusted Scott Summers in the Multiverse
The Goblin Entity
Uncanny X-Men #217-219
The evolution of the X-Men’s lineup
Standards for a good twist
Doonesbury
Several Dungeons & Dragons analogies
A dubious literary allusion
Flying jeeps
CrimeBros
The fundamental tragedy of Longshot
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart and several homages thereto
Geordie and Rupert
Havok (more) (again)
Car-wreck sex
An unfortunate end to a camping trip
The Plot Bus
Several ways to stat Rogue up as a D&D character
Narrative-friendly power sets

Special thanks to:

The wonderful Adam Warrock, for letting us sample his song “Teamwork” in this episode! You can listen to the full track here, and find more of Adam’s work at adamwarrock.com.
Harrison Barber for his X-Pert D&D advice (not to mention nearly fifteen years of tolerating our nonsense at the gaming table)!

NEXT WEEK: X-Men: Evolution with Robert N. Skir!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 66 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 2

July 20, 2015 Jay 4 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

If this week’s illustration reminds you of last week’s, that’s because they’re two parts of this rad panorama! Again, prints are available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

Mystique, what are you even doing? (X-Factor #9)

This, again. (X-Factor #9)

Passing privilege in action! (X-Factor #9)

That’s actually pretty clever. (X-Factor #9)

MOPPETS. (X-Factor #9)

Meanwhile in Apartment 3G… (X-Factor #10)

WRONG CHOICE, ANGEL. (X-Factor #10)

One horseman down, three to go. (X-Factor #10)

Damn, Jean. (X-Factor #10)

Ouch. (X-Factor #10)

OUCH. (X-Factor #10)

There is never a worst time to be a Power kid than during an X-line crossover. (Power Pack #27)

Everyone hates X-Factor. (Power Pack #27)

It really does kind of cheapen Sabretooth’s menace when a bunch of kids can take him down–even these kids. (Power Pack #27)

COMICS FOR KIDS. (Power Pack #27)

And then everything was sad forever. (Power Pack #27)

BEHOLD THIS MAJESTIC THUNDER GOD AND HIS MAJESTIC BEARD! (The Mighty Thor #373)

No, but seriously, though. (The Mighty Thor #373)

Thor has frog friends. (The Mighty Thor #373)

Have we mentioned that we love Thor? We love Thor. (The Mighty Thor #373)

There’s a reason that Walter Simonson is the gold standard for epic dialogue. (The Mighty Thor #374)

Aw. (The Mighty Thor #374)

There’s a lot of straight-up killing on the hero side of this event. (The Mighty Thor #374)

(X-Men #9, specifically.) (The Mighty Thor #374)

Thor: Definitely the best dude you know. (The Mighty Thor #374)

It’s funny, because miscommunication. (X-Factor #11)

“Run! It’s a crossover issue!” (X-Factor #11)

X-Factor drinking game: Drink every time someone has to explain the relationship between X-Factor and the X-Terminators. (X-Factor #11)

Halfway there, Apocalypse! (X-Factor #11)

Ouch. (X-Factor #11)

On the upside: Boom-Boom! (X-Factor #11)

NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants party like it’s 1299!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

Listen to Episode 65–The Mutant Massacre, Part 1–here!
You can find the Mutant Massacre reading order here.
Have you read Walter Simonson’s run of The Mighty Thor yet? You should really go do that. It starts here.

66 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 2

July 20, 2015 Jay 25 comments

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In which we wrap up our first official two-parter; Gambit ruins everything; Rachel has a theory about Mister Sinister; Marvel communication technology is behind the times; Trish Tilby is tired of your bullshit; Walter Simonson is the best of the best; X-Factor pulls it together; Power Pack gets uncomfortably dark; Miles has Thor feelings; and even more mutants die.

NOTE: This episode is the second of a two-parter! If you haven’t listened to Episode 65, where we cover the first half of the mutant massacre, you should probably do that before you listen to this one!

X-PLAINED:

Masque
Tentacle disambiguation
More of the Mutant Massacre
A Sinister hypothesis
Several Marauder-related retcons
X-Factor #9-11
Power Pack #27
The Mighty Thor #373-374
Trish Tilby
Artie & Leech
Several awkward reunions
Walter Simonson
The fall of Angel
Apocalypse’s horsemen
Yet another crossover that will probably scar the Power kids for life
Franklin Richards
Thor, Donald Blake, and Sigurd Jarlson
The best issue of any comic, ever.
The Tunnelers
Ongoing repercussions of the Mutant Massacre
Rachel & Miles’s horseman identities
Which X-Men could and should wield Mjolnir

NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants party like it’s 1299!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 65 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 1

July 13, 2015 Jay 10 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/19/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

And so it begins. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

Dazzler vs. Dazzler. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

We’d make a joke about taking a drink for every X-Men/X-Factor near miss, but you’d die of alcohol poisoning before the end of the crossover. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

Aw, Colossus. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

Not sure why Alanis Morisette didn’t bring this up in “Ironic.” (Uncanny X-Men #210)

Good job Kitty. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

Well, damn. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

There’s something really unsettlingly cheery and Silver-Age about this page. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

No idea who the purple individual is, which is a shame, because they seem awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

STORM, NO! DON’T SPLIT THE PARTY! (Uncanny X-Men #211)

Whoa. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

This is the closest they’ll come to an actual conversation until Inferno. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

Whoops. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

So, THAT happened. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

SO, THAT HAPPENED. (Uncanny X-Men #211)

Dani Moonstar’s powers are METAL AS FUCK. (New Mutants #46)

“My powers are limited to the counterculture.” (New Mutants #46)

Powerlessness and the sense of being able to accomplish too little too late are pervasive themes in the Mutant Massacre. (New Mutants #46)

Everything’s sadder when teenagers are reacting to it. (New Mutants #46)

Well, shit. (New Mutants #46)

How have they not learned to listen to Doug by now? He is ALWAYS RIGHT. (New Mutants #46)

Cold, Wolverine. (Uncanny X-Men #212)

In her defense, everything is in fact well and truly fucked. (Uncanny X-Men #212)

And again. See what I meant about the alcohol-poisoning thing? (Uncanny X-Men #212)

You can, however, take a drink when Storm takes off her clothes for no clear reason. (Uncanny X-Men #212)

First mention of the man with the plan! (Uncanny X-Men #212)

Well done, Wolverine! (Uncanny X-Men #212)

I don’t care who you are: Callisto is better at leadership than you. (Uncanny X-Men #212)

It’s cool. It’s just Thor; we’ll be covering that stuff next episode. (Uncanny X-Men #212)

Psylocke’s psychic projection is adorable and also super creepy. (Uncanny X-Men #213)

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Uncanny X-Men #213)

Betsy Braddock is hardcore. (Uncanny X-Men #213)

Two classic Claremontisms… (Uncanny X-Men #213)

…on a single page. (Uncanny X-Men #213)

Damn, Psylocke. (Uncanny X-Men #213)

How much do we love Psylocke’s totally femme-princess superhero costume? SO MUCH. (Uncanny X-Men #213)

Next Week: The Mutant Massacre, Part 2!

If you want to follow along with the crossover, you can find a guide to the reading order–and how we’re dividing it between episodes–here.

65 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 1

July 13, 2015 Jay 47 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which we hit the first big X-centric crossover; a lot of Morlocks die; X-Factor is a dark farce; Kitty Pryde talks down a mob without using racial slurs; when Doug Ramsey tells you there’s a problem, you listen; and Callisto should be one of the iconic leaders of the Marvel Universe.

X-PLAINED:

Death by intellectual-property dispute
The Mutant Massacre
Mutant Massacres that might have been
Uncanny X-Men #210-213
New Mutants #46
The Marauders
The best way to guarantee the New Mutants’ involvement in a storyline
Limbo fashion
The responsibility of leadership
Wolverine vs. Sabretooth
Psylocke vs. Sabretooth
The evolution of crossovers
Characters we’d like to see more of post-Secret Wars

NEXT WEEK: The Mutant Massacre, Part 2!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

The Mutant Massacre: A How-To Guide

July 8, 2015 Miles 9 comments

…wait, that title doesn’t sound right.

Miles here! Our next two episodes will be about the Mutant Massacre, Marvel’s first-ever X-event. It’s super depressing; huzzah! (Just like a lot of other X-events, come to think of it.)

Anyway! Since the Mutant Massacre involves eleven issues of five and a half different titles and doesn’t have distinct chapter numbers the way later events do, we thought it might be helpful to post a reading order for those following along. For the sake of simplicity, I’ll post the order we decided to use in our upcoming episodes.

(Of note: every single one of these except Power Pack #27 is on Marvel Unlimited right now.)

The Mutant Massacre, X-Men side (Episode 65):

Uncanny X-Men #210
Uncanny X-Men #211
New Mutants #46
Uncanny X-Men #212
Uncanny X-Men #213

The Mutant Massacre, X-Factor side (Episode 66):

X-Factor #9
X-Factor #10
Thor #373
Thor #374
Power Pack #27
X-Factor #11

Daredevil #238 is technically a tie-in too, but it’s a loose enough one that we’ll be skipping it.

For an alternate reading order–including a very handy flow chart–we recommend the Mutant Massacre guide at UncannyXMen.net.

We’ll see you – and a ton of dead Morlocks – soon!

EDITED TO ADD: Andrew Vestal hooked us up with this perversely cheery Official Mutant Massacre Flow Chart that Marvel published in ’86. So, that’s a thing:

As Mentioned in Episode 60 – Rachel Summers and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

June 8, 2015 Jay 4 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/14/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

The last thing you see before you die. (Uncanny X-Men #206)

Do you ‘ship Storm and Bree Morrell now? You probably should. (Uncanny X-Men #206)

The outfits in this arc are just 100% amazing. (Uncanny X-Men #206)

Damnit, Rachel. This is why we can’t have nice things. (Uncanny X-Men #206)

“Teamwork! Our only weakness!” (Uncanny X-Men #206)

“It’s Madelyne! They’ve shot her! And dyed her hair! And given her fairly extensive cosmetic surgery!” (Uncanny X-Men #206)

Wolverine hates Arizona. (Uncanny X-Men #207)

We were going to make up a drinking game based around how many times Wolverine really or metaphorically kills Rachel in this story, but you would die of alcohol poisoning by the end of the first issue. (Uncanny X-Men #207)