X-Force – Page 7 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

281 – Memories

January 19, 2020 Jay 9 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Warpath and Colossus should start a support group; X-Force gets a new HQ; we make an unprecedently large number of musical-theater references; Cable is a highly qualified individual; tranq darts don’t work like that; Emma Frost gives fairly decent advice; the malls of Boston will never be the same again; and we need mutant body diversity now.

CONTENT WARNING: This episode involves discussion of child sexual abuse, murder, and cruelty to animals. If you want to skip that part, head to 34:42 for happier times!

X-PLAINED:

An early adventures of the brothers Proudstar
The new New Mutants trailer
Starlight Express
X-Force #40-42
Feral (Maria Callasantos) (more) (again)
X-Force’s new digs
Little Shop of X-Force
Thornn (Lucia Callasantos)
Code Blue
Cable’s law degree
How tranq darts (don’t) work
A lot of murder
Several family reunions
A terrifying team-up
Body diversity and fat representation in X-books
Feral’s Jellicle name
Cats, kind of, I guess

NEXT EPISODE: We get really intense about Adam X the X-Treme.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 278 – A Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing

December 22, 2019 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Fun times with the MLF. (X-Force Annual #3)

They were really pushing the idea that he was Roberto. (X-Force Annual #3)

I get that it’s supposed to be a bad thing; but, man, Dani’s horse got AWESOME. (X-Force Annual #3)

“Of course, they won’t need to figure out my password if they walk in on me journaling in IMAX.” (X-Force Annual #3)

The Collective Man! (X-Force Annual #3)

These two are just really not good at false identities, are they? (X-Force Annual #3)

Sometimes a family is a ghost and her imaginary baby. (X-Force Annual #3)

Alas, contrary to the implications of this cover, Storm will not be seduced by a giant statue of a lady in this story. (X-Man Annual #3)

“Chess is sexy, right?” (X-Man Annual #3)

Gene Ha draws a really terrific Storm. (X-Man Annual #3)

Do they usually? (X-Man Annual #3)

“Squares.” (X-Man Annual #3)

She’s not wrong. (X-Man Annual #3)

(It’s okay; it’s only a dream.) (X-Man Annual #3)

These are the most lackluster Lords Cardinal I’ve ever seen. (X-Man Annual #3)

“Even sixth base?” (X-Man Annual #3)

I unrepentantly love this silliness. (X-Man Annual #3)

Ugh, seriously, so good. (X-Man Annual #3)

NEXT EPISODE: NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special, feat. Christina Strain & Chip Zdarsky…

…hope you survive the experience!

LINKS & FURTHER ATROCITIES:

Listen to Miles talk about people who turn into dinosaurs on Battle of the Atom!
Here is a fairly remarkable Marxist examination of Sex House; because, why not?
Should you be so inclined, you can watch the entire series here. It’s worth noting that the first few episodes do not reflect the tone of the series as it progresses. (Content Warning: I don’t even know anymore.)
We delved into Reignfire’s weird, weird origins in the cold open to Episode 238 – Meet Them Where They Are.
Jay co-wrote a serial Thor novel! You can subscribe to it here, if you are so inclined.

278 – A Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing

December 22, 2019 Jay 13 comments

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In which Moonstar really wasn’t fooling anybody; Bird Brain is somehow still alive; Cassidy Keep is weird; Gene Ha draws excellent Storm; Reeva Payge makes her sole comics appearance; and Shinobi Shaw is wrong about everything.

X-PLAINED:

A not-particularly-cunning disguise
Upcoming coverage
X-Force Annual #3
X-Men Annual #3
The MLF
Reignfire (more) (again)
Moonstar (more) (again)
An unconventional way to keep a secret diary
A bittersweet semi-reunion
3Peace
Murphy Keep
A ghost, maybe
The kind of thing that happens at Cassidy Keep
An excellent burn
Leather
“Neurotoxins”
Sex House as the definitive artifact of the 2010s
How not to draw someone having a nightmare
A very short-lived version of the Hellfire Club
How not to villain
Coming to terms with bad fictional tech

NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special, feat. Christina Strain & Chip Zdarsky!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 275 – End of the Summer

December 1, 2019 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

HI, PROSH. (X-Force #39)

Look at this charming weirdo. (X-Force #39)

You see what I mean about the frolicking? (X-Force #39)

Damn skippy! (X-Force #39)

Well, that can’t be good. (X-Force #39)

I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING (X-Force #39)

This whole issue has a very Looney Toons vibe. (X-Factor #107)

It’s good that they can find common ground. (X-Factor #107)

Gravity: she’s a harsh mistress. (X-Factor #107)

Again: I really love the way the art here leans into Strong Guy’s inherent cartoonishness. (X-Factor #107)

Ouch. (X-Factor #107)

That cover! (Uncanny X-Men #318)

The choker really does seem to have an extra layer of symbolism, especially considering the color vs. the rest of her outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #318)

You tried, buddy. (Uncanny X-Men #318)

Serious X-Terminators vibes, right? (Uncanny X-Men #318)

“But, y’know, good luck with that.” (Uncanny X-Men #318)

She’s not wrong, Warren. (Uncanny X-Men #318)

…it works, though. (Uncanny X-Men #318)

NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy!

LINKS & FURTHER CRYPTIDS:

Jay co-wrote a Thor novel! You can pre-order it here, if you are so inclined.
For more on Fred Dukes and confronting and subverting the fatphobic tropes around his characterization, listen to Episode 240 – Live at ECCC, feat. Vita Ayala, Seanan McGuire, & Leah Williams!
“End of the Summer” is a really good song.

275 – End of the Summer

December 1, 2019 Jay 9 comments

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In which Professor is too cool for the Phalanx; fatphobia is significantly more dangerous than Fred Dukes; Strong Guy catches a plane; Emma Frost will not let you coast; Jubilee says goodbye to the X-Men; and it’s probably for the best that we have avoided corporate advertisers.

X-PLAINED:

Mr. M
Thor: Metal Gods
Ship (more) (again)
The Phalanx vs. the Borg
Several cover homages
X-Force #39
X-Factor #107
Uncanny X-Men #318
Prosh
The myriad delights of embodiment
A complex theory about Leprechauns
Benefits of single-issue stories
Strong Guy vs. the Blob
Strong Guy vs. Gravity
Strong Guy vs. an airplane
Strong Guy vs. biology
Several explosions
The kids of Generation X
Deluxe-format comics
The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning
Goodbyes
Dazzler’s relative immortality
Jay’s X-Men Happy Meal Toy wish list
How to make a page-accurate Warlock toy

NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 272 – Children of the Phalanx

November 17, 2019 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

(X-Factor #106)

Damn skippy. (X-Factor #106)

Ew. (X-Factor #106)

Okay, the Phalanx is legitimately both cool and scary here. (X-Factor #106)

The looks on their respective faces really make this panel. (X-Factor #106)

R.I.P. (X-Factor #106)

Oh, THESE jerks. Again. (X-Factor #106)

Forge-o-Vision involves a lot of lucite rods, apparently. (X-Factor #106)

Douglock X-Plains the Phalanx. (X-Factor #106)

Spoiler: It’s all Phalanx. (X-Force #38)

My kingdom for this panel as drawn by Barry Windsor-Smith. (X-Force #38)

HE LOOKS LIKE A DINOSAUR OKAY (X-Force #38)

The Babel Spire has some serious Inferno vibes. (Excalibur #82)

Oh, yeah, this DEFINITELY ends well. (Excalibur #82)

Presenting: The stealth team. (Excalibur #82)

NEXT EPISODE: The Summers family goes rock climbing.

272 – Children of the Phalanx (the Phalanx Covenant, Part 2 of 3)

November 10, 2019 Jay 19 comments

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In which Ship was inside Cable all along; Life Signs is the Two Towers of the Phalanx Covenant (but only in the bad ways), it’s lucky that the Phalanx doesn’t have WiFi; Nightcrawler embraces chaos; and we promise the crossover gets better next chapter.

X-PLAINED:

How Cable got his Ship back
Miles’s official stance on candy corn
The Two Towers of the Phalanx Covenant
X-Factor #106
X-Force #38
Excalibur #82
A monastery party
Douglock (more) (again)
Forge-O-Vision
How Steven Lang got mixed up with the Phalanx
Stages of Phalanx development
Babel
Giuseppe Russo, shepherd
The Phalanx, but dogs
Shinar
What you get when you meet a stranger in the Alps
Whom we’d like to see draw the Phalanx
Mindwifery
Adulthood
“Stealth”
Where baby Phalanxes come from
Teamwork
Good stories about Hope Summers
What happened to Paul Bailey

NEXT EPISODE: Rock climbing with the Summers Family

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 263 – The Oldest Teens of Them All

September 15, 2019 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

This looks like a “Sexy Spider-Woman” costume from Party City. (X-Force #34)

IT’S FOR FLIRTING, RICTOR. (X-Force #34)

I guess this is just his thing now. (X-Force #34)

These guys. <3 (X-Force #34)

At least one person on this art team clearly thought Rictor was Gambit. (X-Force #34)

Seriously, though, why did they come along? (X-Force #34)

Who even sits like that while they’re thinking? (X-Force #34)

Starring Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. (X-Force #35)

The. Worst. Security. System. (X-Force #35)

X-Force kind of needs a team counselor. (X-Force #35)

I want a whole side story about the two of them raising some hell. (X-Force #35)

Okay, but for the record, atomic bombs are also bad. (X-Force #35)

Cable, have you even read this comic? (X-Force #35)

That’s our boy. (X-Force #36)

Sucks to be Nimrod, I guess? (X-Force #36)

I’m really uncomfortable with the concept of “hot Apocalypse.” (X-Force #37)

Later, S’mores. (X-Force #37)

I don’t know why this panel is so funny to me, but IT’S SO FUNNY. (X-Force #37)

That’s not how you coffin, guys. (X-Force #37)

Right there with you, Sam. (X-Force #37)

“Also, you’re big jerks.” (X-Force #37)

NEXT EPISODE: Douglock!

263 – The Oldest Teens of Them All

September 8, 2019 Jay 10 comments

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In which Cable and Domino may or may not be very old teenagers; disguises are not Dani Moonstar’s strong suit; Empath remains awful; Shatterstar probably talks exactly like a telenovela; X-Force needs an office manager; Mothra is larger than most things; and if you get to choose between being an External or a Guthrie, always be a Guthrie.

X-PLAINED:

Bastion, to some extent
X-Force #34-37
Optical disambiguation
Moonstar
Face tentacle semantics
Sandwiches (again)
The Richter family
An entirely avoidable fight
Some time-travel bullshit
Hannigan Electronics
An insecurity system
Nimrods
Things neural networks would probably do instead of murdering you
Defining traits of the Externals
Adoption, X-Factor style
Wolverine: The Long Night

NEXT EPISODE: Douglock!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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