Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: X-Force

272 – Children of the Phalanx (the Phalanx Covenant, Part 2 of 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Ship was inside Cable all along; Life Signs is the Two Towers of the Phalanx Covenant (but only in the bad ways), it’s lucky that the Phalanx doesn’t have WiFi; Nightcrawler embraces chaos; and we promise the crossover gets better next chapter.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Cable got his Ship back
  • Miles’s official stance on candy corn
  • The Two Towers of the Phalanx Covenant
  • X-Factor #106
  • X-Force #38
  • Excalibur #82
  • A monastery party
  • Douglock (more) (again)
  • Forge-O-Vision
  • How Steven Lang got mixed up with the Phalanx
  • Stages of Phalanx development
  • Babel
  • Giuseppe Russo, shepherd
  • The Phalanx, but dogs
  • Shinar
  • What you get when you meet a stranger in the Alps
  • Whom we’d like to see draw the Phalanx
  • Mindwifery
  • Adulthood
  • “Stealth”
  • Where baby Phalanxes come from
  • Teamwork
  • Good stories about Hope Summers
  • What happened to Paul Bailey

NEXT EPISODE: Rock climbing with the Summers Family

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As Mentioned in Episode 263 – The Oldest Teens of Them All

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
This looks like a “Sexy Spider-Woman” costume from Party City. (X-Force #34)
IT’S FOR FLIRTING, RICTOR. (X-Force #34)
I guess this is just his thing now. (X-Force #34)
These guys. <3 (X-Force #34)
At least one person on this art team clearly thought Rictor was Gambit. (X-Force #34)
Seriously, though, why did they come along? (X-Force #34)
Who even sits like that while they’re thinking? (X-Force #34)
Starring Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. (X-Force #35)
The. Worst. Security. System. (X-Force #35)
X-Force kind of needs a team counselor. (X-Force #35)
I want a whole side story about the two of them raising some hell. (X-Force #35)
Okay, but for the record, atomic bombs are also bad. (X-Force #35)
Cable, have you even read this comic? (X-Force #35)
That’s our boy. (X-Force #36)
Sucks to be Nimrod, I guess? (X-Force #36)
I’m really uncomfortable with the concept of “hot Apocalypse.” (X-Force #37)
Later, S’mores. (X-Force #37)
I don’t know why this panel is so funny to me, but IT’S SO FUNNY. (X-Force #37)
That’s not how you coffin, guys. (X-Force #37)
Right there with you, Sam. (X-Force #37)
“Also, you’re big jerks.” (X-Force #37)
NEXT EPISODE: Douglock!

263 – The Oldest Teens of Them All

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Cable and Domino may or may not be very old teenagers; disguises are not Dani Moonstar’s strong suit; Empath remains awful; Shatterstar probably talks exactly like a telenovela; X-Force needs an office manager; Mothra is larger than most things; and if you get to choose between being an External or a Guthrie, always be a Guthrie.

X-PLAINED:

  • Bastion, to some extent
  • X-Force #34-37
  • Optical disambiguation
  • Moonstar
  • Face tentacle semantics
  • Sandwiches (again)
  • The Richter family
  • An entirely avoidable fight
  • Some time-travel bullshit
  • Hannigan Electronics
  • An insecurity system
  • Nimrods
  • Things neural networks would probably do instead of murdering you
  • Defining traits of the Externals
  • Adoption, X-Factor style
  • Wolverine: The Long Night

NEXT EPISODE: Douglock!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 255 – Rules of the Game

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
On one hand: Yes, it’s still a cool design. On the other hand: Remember when it wasn’t sexualized? (X-Force #32)
Any resemblance to Bill Watterson is entirely incidental, probably, maybe. (X-Force #32)
Oh. THEM. (X-Force #32)
Meanwhile in X-Men #29… (X-Force #32)
Meanwhile in a cameo in X-Men #29… (X-Force #32)
Paige Guthrie, during the two pages when she could briefly turn into a bird. (X-Force #32)
Yeah, that swimsuit is… improbable. (X-Force #32)
Fitzroy, now with knock-off Transformer armor! (X-Force #32)
The Gamesmaster X-Plains the current round. (New Warriors #45)
KARMA! We missed you!! (New Warriors #45)
You… you sure just said that, didn’t you? (New Warriors #45)
OH, SNAP. (New Warriors #45)
It kind of feels like a waste that he didn’t say “Let me slip into something more comfortable.” (X-Force #33)
DON’T PUT HUSK IN A CORNER! (X-Force #33)
Oh, no! Not… an unnecessarily complicated radial containment array! (X-Force #33)
Aw, Shinobi. (X-Force #33)
Bold of you to imply that you ever do otherwise. (New Warriors #46)
I considered zooming waaaay in and seeing if I could recognize anyone in this, but then I decided not to. (New Warriors #46)
Paige Guthrie plays to win. (New Warriors #46)
This is… a really, really big dangling thread. Dangling rope, maybe. (New Warriors #46)
NEXT EPISODE: Mullets of time and space!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

255 – Rules of the Game

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Upstarts are the worst at Calvinball; Moonstar remains a non-mystery; Speedball gets a new costume; Shinobi Shaw never gets to finish a bath; Gamesmaster comes perilously close to getting context; Cable gets a new superpower; and Rahne Sinclair is too good for your crossover.

X-PLAINED:

  • The time Husk went evil
  • An anniversary
  • A guest appearance
  • X-Force #32-33
  • New Warriors #45-46
  • A crossover
  • A game
  • Younghunt
  • The semi-debut of Paige Guthrie
  • Deeply uncomfortable bathing-suit choices
  • A toy that never actually existed
  • The New Warriors
  • Justice (Vance Astrovik)
  • Night Thrasher (Dwayne Taylor)
  • Nova (Rich Rider)
  • Silhouette (Sil Chord)
  • Kymaera
  • Speedball (Robbie Baldwin)
  • Rage (Elvin Haliday)
  • Firestar (Angelica Jones) (more) (again)
  • A plan
  • Bantam
  • A lot of mind control
  • A very ambiguous game and its potential implications
  • Favorite ads
  • The narrative economy of resurrection

NEXT EPISODE: Mullets of time & space!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 250 – Minding the DNA, feat. Fabian Nicieza

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

There’s no visual companion to this episode, but here’s some cool stuff we talked about!

250 – Minding the DNA, feat. Fabian Nicieza

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which writer Fabian Nicieza joins us to talk ‘90s crossovers, narrative legacies, and what Adam X’s word balloons really sound like!

Special thanks to Shatterstarologist Charlie of The Young Ones for lending their X-Pertise to the cold open!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 246 – Foreshadow Puppets

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Four arms–and a conscience. (X-Force #27)
Does he just live in Gyrich’s garage? Or, like, under the lawn? (X-Force #27)
Too many muscles for one panel: The X-Force Story. (X-Force #27)
Who’s that? SURELY not Danielle Moonstar! (X-Force #27)
‘Kay. (X-Force #28)
And that’s the last we’ll see of Sunspot for a while. (X-Force #28)
Sometimes it’s like that. (X-Force #28)
Confirmed canonical: Shatterstar’s hair is independently mobile. (X-Force #29)
What happened to Sam, and who is this alarmingly beefy stranger? (X-Force #29)
Cable is leaning full into the Dad thing these days; and I, for one, am here for it. (X-Force #29)
I’m fairly sure that I saw this movie in an 8th-grade assembly. (X-Force #29)
Kids these days, amirite? (X-Force #29)
Based on her facial expression, I imagine her delivering this line in roughly the style of Aubrey Plaza as April Ludgate. (X-Force #29)
Sure thing, buddy. (X-Force #29)
Look at these angry, pointy boys. (X-Force #30)
So angry. So pointy. (X-Force #30)
Angry but not pointy. (X-Force #30)
“You’ll probably do okay; you’re not a major character.” (X-Force #30)
How much better would this issue have been if they’d done a skate-off? (X-Force #30)
Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. (X-Force #30)
Aw, look at him learning to person! (X-Force #30)
NEXT EPISODE: More spiky people yelling!

LINKS & FURTHER CONSUMABLES:

 

246 – Foreshadow Puppets

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Danielle Moonstar is not a master of disguise; the MLF are bad enough dudes to kidnap a guy who works near the president; Tempo wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Reignfire is no Magneto; we now desperately want X-Force matryoshka dolls; Feral quits the team; Henry Peter Gyrich fails to learn from experience (or anything else); small children are bad at everything; Shatterstar gets a tagline; Sam Guthrie REALLY needs a vacation; and it’s surprisingly difficult to choose a favorite resurrection.

X-PLAINED:

  • Cortex
  • The kinder, gentler Cable
  • Several matters related to Nicholas Cage
  • X-Force #27-30
  • Broome jaws
  • The Area jar
  • The Mutant Liberation Front
  • Reignfire (again)
  • Hardaway
  • A cyborg asshole
  • Locus
  • Moonstar
  • “Of Faith and Fable”
  • Foreshadow puppets
  • Bobby da Costa’s greatest fear
  • Dad jokes with Cable
  • X-Force’s day off
  • Shatterstar vs. Adam X the X-Treme
  • Windsong
  • An inevitable team-up
  • A Very Special Episode moment
  • The return of Wine Mom Domino
  • The return of Jean Grey’s telepathy
  • Our favorite resurrections

NEXT EPISODE: Sabretooth

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 243 – And Now We Are Five

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Art by David Wynne.

These are the episodes we mentioned, in chronological order:

And, just for kicks, here are all the episodes with songs:

Special thanks to all our patrons; to Bobby Roberts, Kyle Yount, Kurt Loyd, Matt Hunter, David Wynne, Mike Miller, Katie Proctor, Books With Pictures, The Steep & Thorny Way to Heaven, Phoenix Comics & Games, Tea Fougner, Anna Sheffey, our families, and the Mutant Revolution Discord; and to the X-Men and everyone who’s given them life over the last 56 years. Mutatis Mutandis!