X-Force – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 473 – The Baker’s Dozen (The Twelve, Part Three)

December 29, 2024 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

You know it’s serious business when someone smashes the logo. (Uncanny X-Men #377)

How long did it take him to set up that machinery? (Uncanny X-Men #377)

He said it! He said it! (Uncanny X-Men #377)

Apocalypse’s balls. (Uncanny X-Men #377)

Apocalypse’s balls, version two. (Cable #76)

A younger Cable. (Cable #76)

Aw, man. (Cable #76)

FEELINGS. (Cable #76)

Potato snow. (Cable #76)

Maybe the bodice is scale, not quilted? But it really looks quilted. (Cable #76)

The power of continuity! (X-Men #97)

The chewy center of Apocalypse. (X-Men #97)

And THAT’S how you reference Uncanny X-Men #137. (X-Men #97)

Well, shit. (X-Men #97)

NEXT EPISODE: Jay & Miles 2024 Winter Special!

LINKS & FURTHER ADVENTURES

The Atomium is extremely cool.

473 – The Baker’s Dozen (The Twelve, Part Three)

December 29, 2024 Jay 10 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which you know it’s serious business when a logo gets smashed; the prophecy of the Twelve is an elaborate prank; we have a lot of Summers family feelings; Apocalypse is not a very good planner; and the Twelve reaches its conclusion.

X-PLAINED:

Who Madelyne Pryor’s psychic ghost really is
The story so far
Uncanny X-Men #377
Cable #76
X-Men #97
Perks of immortality
A slightly gratuitous way to destroy an airplane
Several doppelgangers
Apocalypse’s big, stupid plan
A fancy science machine
The Atomium
The Twelve
The three elements
The best issue of the Twelve
Orb action
Cable’s knowledge of history
Summers feelings
How to establish stakes
Potato storms
The mutant Skrulls (more) (again)
Cadre K
Categories of mutants
How to beta test an Armageddon machine
Alpha nerd Charles Xavier
Weaponized continuity
The color(s) of Cyclops’s eyes
How to evoke Uncanny X-Men #137
An unfortunate twist
Mundane uses of superpowers
The Altar
What would have improved the Twelve

NEXT EPISODE: Winter Special!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 470 – Large Adult Men

December 1, 2024 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Nipples? Spigots? Weirdly evenly spaced barnacles? You be the judge! (Cable #73)

Neither that font nor that neck is acceptable. (Cable #73)

The fonts in this book are killing me. (Cable #73)

Hug #1. (Cable #73)

Hug #2. (Cable #73)

Perspective? I hardly know ‘er! Wait. Damnit. (Cable #73)

What’s REALLY on the CD? Tell us in the comments! (Cable #73)

Caliban: Tailor of Apocalypse! (Cable #73)

The juxtaposition between the art and text in this pane is extremely funny. (Cable #73)

Quick-change! (Cable #74)

Deathbird, or possibly Warbird now. (Cable #74)

Whoops. (Cable #74)

He looks so over it. (Cable #74)

Ewwwww. (Wolverine #145)

He does look pretty rad, though. (Wolverine #145)

THAT HORSE (Wolverine #145)

Large man being large. (Wolverine #145)

The first time the new claws come out. (Wolverine #145)

NEXT EPISODE: We couldn’t put it off forever.

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE

For more about Wolverine, penetration, and pig masculinity, listen to Episode 420 – The Legendary House of Wolverine.

470 – Large Adult Men

December 1, 2024 Jay 9 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which Cable may or may not have been a spokesperson for AT&T; it’s impossible to draw a CD dramatically; Wolverine gets his adamantium back; Apocalypse says the thing; and we probably can’t keep putting off The Twelve forever.

X-PLAINED:

One way to dispose of a corpse
Cable #73-74
Wolverine #145
Cable (more) (again)
Poor font choice
Sarcophagus nipples
Caliban (more) (again)
Impromptu tailoring
A cliched vignette
People talking on couches
A compact disc
Unpleasant reunions
An impressive outfit
Prior generations of horsemen of Apocalypse
Wolverine (more) (again)
How Wolverine ended up a horseman of Apocalypse
Apocalypse’s aesthetic
Wolverine vs. Hulk (yet again)
Which version of Magik was on Krakoa
An X-Men pitch in the style of Spidey and his Amazing Friends

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve begins!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 469 – Killed by Death

December 1, 2024 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here.

“Okay, everybody dig in!” (Uncanny X-Men #375)

And the fun begins. (Uncanny X-Men #375)

Professor Xavier is a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #375)

“Can I touch it?” (Uncanny X-Men #375)

Jaq and Fiz. (X-Men #95)

I can’t be the only one who finds this whole scene hilarious. (X-Men #95)

Well, damn. (X-Men #95)

Ouch. (X-Men Unlimited #25)

NEXT EPISODE: Solo shenanigans!

469 – Killed by Death

November 24, 2024 Jay 3 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which the Shattering officially concludes; you can’t swoop over the phone; toddlers are engines of pure chaos; the X-Men do some processing; and we are mildly scandalized by the absence of footnotes.

X-PLAINED:

Rama-Tut
Evan Sabahnur
Uncanny X-Men #375
X-Men #95
X-Men Unlimited #25
Skrull problems
One very upsetting way to identify a traitor
Skrullverine
Fiz and Jaq
The Ally
A ruse
Death’s mask
A dramatic revelation
Processing
The unrealized potential of Spirit Halloween
Wolverine memories
Rogue’s temporary tattoos
Yet another time loop

NEXT EPISODE: We segue into solo series!

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

464 – The Cigarettes of Damocles

September 29, 2024 Jay 7 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which X-Force is kind of silly; that really isn’t what “quantum” means; polite and lawful are two entirely different things, and Sam Guthrie is only one of them; Selene vogues; and the Hellfire Club plays the dead girlfriend card.

X-PLAINED:

Blackheart
The Damocles Foundation (more) (again)
Lucas Bartholomew Guthrie
The difference between prisons and jails
X-Force #98-98
Whether Dr. Octopus enjoys the literary stylings of Elmore Leonard
One way to get out of prison
The Glitterbox
An unsuccessful heist
Celestial cigarettes and/or golems
Thomas and/or Tyler Zebulon and/or Zeke Guthrie
Demon Bears as urban pests
Selene, Always Voguing
Gatherers
Various evil scientists
The Sword
Junkyard life
Lenny Delmonico
Psychic rodeos
Nightmare chambers
Bat sex
An offer Sunspot can’t refuse
Hank McCoy’s villain arc
New Mutant superlatives

NEXT EPISODE: Astonishing X-Men!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 459 – Waiting to X’Hal (feat. Devin Toohey)

August 18, 2024 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

It is a crime that Dial H.U.S.K. didn’t make the cover. (X-Patrol #1)

As letterforms to create the shape of your building go, you could do worse. A lot worse. (X-Patrol #1)

I didn’t know there was a wrong way to stare at a butt, but… Beastling’s doing it. (X-Patrol #1)

Backstory, orange edition: Shatterstarfire! (X-Patrol #1)

Backstory, green edition: Beastling! (X-Patrol #1)

Backstory, yellow edition: Dial H.U.S.K.! (Bonus: Wonder Girl!) (X-Patrol #1)

Backstory, blue edition: Ferro Man! (X-Patrol #1)

Backstory, fuschia edition: Elasti-Girl! (X-Patrol #1)

Shit, now I wish Cable had a beard. And not just that literally-evil goatee from 1993. (X-Patrol #1)

An auspicious start to a first mission. (X-Patrol #1)

That outfit! On that guy! (X-Patrol #1)

Pretty bangin’ fit, I’m not gonna lie. (X-Patrol #1)

Second-rate indeed. That claw-guy doesn’t even have bat ears! (X-Patrol #1)

Mary Marvel Girl! (X-Patrol #1)

Did he murder tiny demon-squirrels just to hold his cape on? (Exciting X-Patrol #1)

Hitch and Neary never disappoint. (Exciting X-Patrol #1)

They must have such excellent dental hygiene practices! (Exciting X-Patrol #1)

Maximalism. (Exciting X-Patrol #1)

X-Patrol Mark II, featuring non-Rockslide and Jan’s muscles. (Exciting X-Patrol #1)

Robot roll-call! (Exciting X-Patrol #1)

I would read any and all of these comics. (Exciting X-Patrol #1)

Stalactites have a C in the middle because they’re on the ceiling, stalagmites have a G in the middle because they’re on the ground, and Brood have an O in the middle because they’ll eat your goddamn face. (Exciting X-Patrol #1)

Artemisty Knight! (Exciting X-Patrol #1)

Turns out Terrax and Terra look pretty damned cool when they merge. (Exciting X-Patrol #1)

This isn’t even my final form! Wait, yes it is. (Exciting X-Patrol #1)

Why would you cover up that amazing outfit with rocks? (Exciting X-Patrol #1)

Fuckin’ YIKES (Exciting X-Patrol #1)

Introducing: Exuberant-Man! (Exciting X-Patrol #1)

NEXT TIME: Teens!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

Check out Devin’s Doom Patrol podcast Meet Your Doom!

459 – Waiting to X’Hal (feat. Devin Toohey)

August 18, 2024 Miles 8 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which Devin Toohey joins Miles to discuss X-Men’s DC Comics cousin Doom Patrol, and their bastard Amalgam child, X-Patrol!

X-PLAINED:

X-Men vs. Doom Patrol
Meet Your Doom
Doom Patrol
Amalgam
X-Patrol
Elasti-Girl (Amalgam)
Shatterstarfire
Beastling
Ferro Man
Dial H.U.S.K.
X-Patrol #1
Exciting X-Patrol #1
Niles Cable
Dr. Doomsday
Superhero aviation
Brother Brood
Raveniya
Niles Dayspring
Technoorganic lettering
Claw mechanics
Magneto on X-Force
Real-life Dazzler and Lila Cheney analogs

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X goes to Madripoor!

Want to hire J&MXPtXM producer Matt Hunter to produce your podcast? Email him!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!