Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: wolverine

As Mentioned in Episode 38 – Welcome to Murderworld

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and travel mugs available until 1/11/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Hope you survive the… oh, wait. (Uncanny X-Men #123)
Next Issue: Spider-Man quotes Atlas Shrugged until the Fantastic Four politely ask him to leave. (Uncanny X-Men #123)
Cyclops: the worst at dates, or definitely the worst at dates? (Uncanny X-Men #123)
Pause for a moment to take in the glory of this perfect murder truck and its perfect sound effects. (Uncanny X-Men #123)
Just for the record, we would TOTALLY read a comic about Cracklin’ Rosa. (Uncanny X-Men #123)
Well. That happened. (Uncanny X-Men #123)
Arcade: Really good at his job, until he’s not. (Uncanny X-Men #123)
It’s a “Hope you survive the experience!” riff! Take a drink! (Uncanny X-Men #123)
Cyclops, look, we know you were kind of raised by a supervillain, but pro tip: people who kidnap you and drop you into funhouse death traps ARE GENERALLY NOT TO BE TRUSTED. (Uncanny X-Men #123)
The sound effect in the blast, tho. (Uncanny X-Men #123)
COSPLAY THIS MAN COSPLAY HIM RIGHT NOW (Uncanny X-Men #123)
If Arcade ever makes it to the big screen, he damn well better be played by Jim Rash. Just sayin’. (Uncanny X-Men #123)
Who gift-wraps the hostages? Do they just have those boxes sitting around? WE MAY NEVER KNOW. (Uncanny X-Men #124)
Cyclops solves problems with optic blasts and geometry! Take a drink! (Uncanny X-Men #124)
‘Kay, then. (Uncanny X-Men #124)
Starring the Most Reluctant X-Men Ever (after that one team Jean Grey put together when Magneto had Professor X hostage in the Savage Land, or I guess probably any other version of the team involving Sunfire). (Uncanny X-Men #146)
Let’s take a moment of silence for how much more awesome this panel would be if Arcade were toying idly with a HeroQuest set. (Uncanny X-Men #146)
GOD, Arcade! Don’t you know ANYTHING? (Uncanny X-Men #146)
NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE (Uncanny X-Men #146)
More festive pudding-cup hostages! Why? Why not? (Uncanny X-Men #146)
No, but, seriously. (Uncanny X-Men #146)
Phil and Tobe are the Harvey and Janet of Doom Minions. (Uncanny X-Men #147)
Aw, Tobe. You’re a stand-up minion. (Uncanny X-Men #147)
The hell whaaaaat? (Uncanny X-Men #197)
This is kind of like when you go to someone’s house and you’re looking for the bathroom and you open a door that you’re pretty sure is the door to the bathroom and it’s actually a room full of robots dressed up like all your mutual friends. I mean, that happens to other people, right? (Uncanny X-Men #197)
‘Kay. (Uncanny X-Men #197)
THIS TRAIN MONSTER IS SO GOOD. (Uncanny X-Men #197)
You know she’s been saving that one up for like a year. (Uncanny X-Men #197)
I kind of love Arcade and Miss Locke’s original dynamic, before it got super screwed up and sex-murdery. (Uncanny X-Men #197)
NEXT WEEK: Miles returns, and Cloak and Dagger meet the New Mutants!

Places Where You can Find Chris Sims on the Internets:

38 – Welcome to Murderworld (Feat. Chris Sims)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and travel mugs available until 1/11/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and travel mugs available until 1/11/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which we welcome back Emergency Backup Co-Host Chris Sims; comics writers are basically supervillains; Cyclops is not here to have fun; Spider-Man flirts with objectivism; Murderworld is probably not financially sustainable; you should totally cosplay the Proletarian; Arcade may or may not secretly be the Archie Andrews of Earth-616; and Doctor Doom remains absolutely delightful.

X-Plained

  • Captain Britain
  • Arcade
  • Francisco Scaramanga
  • The vastly inferior Arcade of Earth-1610
  • Uncanny X-Men #123-124, 146-147, 197
  • Chris’s first X-Men
  • A really sweet truck
  • Spider-Man’s brief flirtation with objectivism
  • What the X-Men do on their night off
  • Hella nipples
  • Murderworld
  • Miss Locke
  • Mr. Chambers
  • Marvel comics in the Marvel Universe
  • A large number of elaborate deathtraps
  • Soviet Nick Fury
  • The Proletarian
  • Hostage-wrapping
  • Phil and Tobe
  • One way to celebrate your birthday
  • Avengers Arena
  • Miss Coriander
  • The best non-X Arcade stories
  • The end of Axis Sixis
  • Arcade at the Arcade

NEXT WEEK: Cloak and Dagger!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 37 – Giant-Size Special #1

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints available until 1/15 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Well, that’s a hell of an opening. (God Loves, Man Kills)
Remember when Kitty Pryde was scrappy as hell? (God Loves, Man Kills)
We just really love this dialogue. (God Loves, Man Kills)
In which Xavier and Stryker do their best Carter/Reagan. (God Loves, Man Kills)
TEAMWORK! (God Loves, Man Kills)
Whoa. (God Loves, Man Kills)
OH, HELL, YES. (God Loves, Man Kills)
Classic. (God Loves, Man Kills)
If only this had involved his magnetic personality. But no. Just slightly different torture. (God Loves, Man Kills)
WELL, THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY. (God Loves, Man Kills)
Stryker is such a Bond villain. (God Loves, Man Kills)
Um. Wow. (God Loves, Man Kills)
Magneto is so awesome in this story. (God Loves, Man Kills)
Can we talk about how Brent Anderson is one of the all-time great unsung X-artists? Because he really is. (God Loves, Man Kills)
CHARLES, NOOOOOO (God Loves, Man Kills)
Nightcrawler, you lovable scamp. (God Loves, Man Kills)
“It’s okay! He put it back!” (God Loves, Man Kills)
Damn, Stryker. That’s cold.
Cyclops solves problems with ricochets! Take a drink! (God Loves, Man Kills)
He’s not wrong, but damn. (God Loves, Man Kills)
Even if you’ve not read the book, you’ve probably seen this moment referenced at least once. (God Loves, Man Kills)
We have fairly different feelings about the strengths and weaknesses of this layout, but we agree that it is damn stylish. (God Loves, Man Kills)
Didn’t mention this in the episode, but it’s kind of amazing how directly this penultimate scene visually echoes Xavier’s earlier mid-brainwashing encounter with Stryker. (God Loves, Man Kills)
Next Week: Rachel and Chris Sims X-Plain Arcade!

THE 2014 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE IN X-CELLENCE

corbeau

  • Best X-Writer – Brian Michael Bendis, for Uncanny X-Men, All-New X-Men, and general line architecture
  • Best X-Artist – Kris Anka, for Uncanny X-Men and general visual and costuming impact
  • Best X-Colorist – Chris Sotomayor, for Cyclops
  • Best X-Letterer (Now and Forever) – Tom Orzechowski, for everything ever forever
  • Jean Grey Award for Creative Resurrection – Nightcrawler (Amazing X-Men)
  • Best New Character – Forget-Me-Not (X-Men Legacy #300)
  • Best Complete Arc – Cyclops #1-5, by Greg Rucka, Russell Dauterman, Chris Sotomayor, Carmen Carnero, et. al.
  • Best Soap Opera – All-New X-Men, by Brian Michael Bendis et. al.
  • Silver Lining Award – Death of Wolverine: The Logan Legacy #4, by Marguerite Bennett, Juan Doe, et. al.
  • Golden Retcon – X-Men: Days of Future Past
  • Irene Adler Award for Most Anticipated Future Run – G. Willow Wilson on X-Men
  • About Damn Time – Storm, by Greg Pak et. al.
  • Cyclops Has a Good Day Award – Wolverine and the X-Men #40, by Jason Aaron, Pepe Larraz, et. al.
  • Best Listeners of Any Podcast Ever – YOU*

*Details of the Corbeau Coloring Contest will go up on Monday, because Rachel’s parents are visiting this weekend. We appreciate your patience.

 

CLASSIC CORBEAUS (for older X-material covered in the podcast during 2014)

  • Harvey and Janet Award for Best Walk-On – The staff and guests of the Heartbreak Hotel
  • Lost Treasure – Beauty and the Beast, by Ann Nocenti, Don Perlin, et. al.
  • Sure, Why Not? – The Leprechauns of Cassidy Keep
  • Still the Best Issue After All These Years – Uncanny X-Men vol. 1 #137

LINKS AND ADDITIONAL READING

37 – Giant-Size Special #1

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Art by David Wynne. Prints available until 1/15 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints available until 1/15 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which we launch our first-ever giant-size special; God Loves, Man Kills is the definitive X-Men story; Bobby makes his R&MXtXM on-air debut; we repopulate the world with X-writers; Rachel is really excited about x-plaining X-Cutioner’s Song; Miles takes a strong stance on Wolverine’s mask; we award some awards; and it’s all your fault.

 

X-Plained

  • God Loves, Man Kills (Marvel Graphic Novel #5)
  • William Stryker
  • An inappropriate analogy
  • Keeping it interesting
  • Favorite episodes
  • Bridging the fan/critic divide
  • Our ongoing obsession with bit characters
  • The challenge of keeping Charles Xavier relevant
  • X-Planation Curation
  • Several stories we’re really looking forward to covering
  • X-Writers on a desert island
  • Internet fights
  • Favorite stories vs. best stories
  • Stupid hats of the Marvel Universe
  • Dr. Doom as Tim Gunn
  • Havok vs. ceiling fans
  • Educational standards of the Marvel Universe
  • The First Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence in X-Cellence

NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Chris Sims X-Plain Arcade

CORRECTION: In this episode, Rachel claims that there is only one Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau in the Marvel Multiverse. This is patently untrue. There are numerous versions of Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau in the Marvel Multiverse, who may or may not be able to combine Voltron-style into a giant Corbeau Singularity.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 36 – Steal This Podcast

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints available in the shop until 12/28, or contact David for the original!
We would really like this cover as a wall-size mural in hour home. ( #1)
Look, dude, you don’t have to like the music, but show some respect. ( #1)
OH HELL YES ( #1)
Lila Motherfuckin’ Cheney. ( #1)
Sam Guthrie is not only the politest minion, he’s the politest superhero. ( #1)
Teleportation by rockin’ guitar solo? YES, PLEASE. ( #1)
Let’s just go ahead and add Larry Niven references to the drinking game, shall we? ( #1)
Warlock takes cosplay really seriously. ( #1)
We’re not entirely sure how Lila Cheney is not a supervillain, but we’ll run with it. ( #1)
AW ( #1)
Remember Kitty’s Fairy Tale? Welcome to Illyana’s Space Opera! ( #8)
It’s s’mores-and-thinly-veiled-allegories night at the X-mansion! ( #8)
That’s a pretty sweet title page, there. ( #8)
Can we talk about Nightcrawler’s amazing disco pirate outfit? ( #8)
Montage! ( #8)
You know what to do. ( #8)
In case there was any doubt that Illyana is basically just mashing up every piece of pop culture she’s encountered… ( #8)
DRAGON SEX. ( #8)
Well, that got weird fast. ( #8)
Some long-awaited resolution. ( #8)
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE ( #8)
Not actually episode-relevant, but we’re gonna take a moment to indulge Rachel’s lettering-geek need to drool over this gorgeous credits bar. ( #8)
Next Week: Giant-Size Special #1–and, at long last, God Loves, Man Kills!

Links:

36 – Steal This Podcast

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Lila Cheney Wembley 84
Art by David Wynne. Prints available in the shop until 12/28, or contact David for the original!

In which we play Six Degrees of Lila Cheney; Cannonball gets a makeover; Earth does not in fact blow up; the X-Men like their s’mores with thinly veiled allegories; and Magik dabbles in erotic friend fiction.

X-Plained:

  • Strong Guy
  • Annuals
  • New Mutants Annual #1 (Steal This Planet)
  • Lila Cheney
  • Both versions of Cats Laughing
  • The Vrakanain
  • Chris Claremont Book Club
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #8 (The Adventures of Lockheed the Space Dragon and His Pet Girl Kitty)
  • Some dubious campfire games
  • Illyana’s Space Opera
  • Space pirate X-Men
  • Some long-awaited resolution

NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Miles’s Giant-Size Special #1, featuring God Loves, Man Kills!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 33 – Crossoverload

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne! Prints here, or contact David for the original.
There is a lot going on in The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans.
The best thing about Metron is that his eyebrows are part of his costume. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
Things we never get tired of: Cyclops using his powers to cheat at pool. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
Darkseid is Creepy Santa (so, basically, Santa). (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
Cyclops has a bad day. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
How Gar manages to get an image that specific from her description remains a mystery. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
Flash Fact: Wally West is the best Flash, and anyone who tells you otherwise is full of lies.
Deathstroke the Terminator: the assassin who designed his costume to be as visible as possible against pretty much any backdrop. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
The Greys just CANNOT catch a break. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
Simonson doing cosmic Kirby is our jam, now and forever. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
Were we less mature and tasteful, this is where we’d put a “butte sex” joke. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
Probably not actually the fourth wall. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
Oh, that’s not gonna end well. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
TEAM-UP! (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
You know this is the happiest moment of Kitty Pryde’s entire life. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
Along with fire and life, slightly creepy Cyclops feels are a running Phoenix Force motif. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
Can we talk about how very much better this Cyclops-as-Phoenix costume is than the AvX version? (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
This isn’t actually all that relevant, but we couldn’t resist one last page of cosmic Simonson art. (The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans)
We are pretty into crossovers that come with convenient captioned character guides! (The X-Men and the Micronauts #1)
This is Kitty’s regular Ariel costume, so, no need to drink. Yet. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #1)
Baron Karza is Darth Vader Plus. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #1)
A possibly recognizable villain. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #1)
I’d like to take a moment to point out that the Professor Xavier who is punishing Kitty for thinking too loudly is explicitly good Professor X. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #1)
Action-figure-sized people fighting normal-sized people: NEVER NOT HILARIOUS. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #1)
Look at that snazzy title treatment! (The X-Men and the Micronauts #2)
Okay, that’s extra creepy. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #2)
One of the better pratfall panels. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #2)
Let’s check and see if the action-figures-vs.-full-size-people thing is still funny when the action figures are the good guys. YES. YES, IT IS. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #2)
This conceit really never stops being entertaining. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #2)
Seriously, how the hell did no one see Onslaught coming? (The X-Men and the Micronauts #2)
To be fair, she’s both body-swapped with Baron Karza AND mind-controlled by Evil Professor Xavier. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #3)
“Oh, HELL, yes,” says Kitty. “Cross THAT one off the bucket list.” (The X-Men and the Micronauts #3)
The worst part is that he gets so much creepier. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #3)
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (The X-Men and the Micronauts #4)
Remember the time Phoenix wiped out one planet, so Jean Grey had to die? Yeah, so do we. Marvel editorial, not so much. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #4)
Modified rule: When someone else in Kitty’s body makes her a new costume, steal someone else’s drink. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #4)
JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO IMAGINE HOW MUCH FUNNIER X-MEN WOULD BE IF THEY’D STAYED SIX INCHES TALL. (The X-Men and the Micronauts #4)
Next week: Captain America in a loincloth!

Links and Further Reading

33 – Crossoverload

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Art by David Wynne! Prints here, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne! Prints here, or contact David for the original.

In which we dive into two crossovers; our DCU is the DCAU; the Greys just cannot catch a break; Darkseid is basically Santa Claus; the Phoenix Force has Cyclops feels; Baron Karza is the sonic screwdriver of supervillains; and the Enigma Force is aptly named.

CONTENT NOTE: The Micronauts portion of this episode involves not-particularly-graphic but still fairly involved discussions of sexual violence. If that’s not something you want to listen to, we’d recommend stopping the episode after the Teen Titans portion at 26:26, and fast-forwarding to 47:52 for conclusions, questions, and outro.

X-Plained:

  • Crossover Earth
  • Amalgam
  • Crossovers
  • The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans
  • The Teen Titans
  • The One True Flash
  • Cosmic Kirby
  • Darkseid
  • Metron
  • The Source Wall
  • Deathstroke the Terminator
  • Ravok
  • Butte sex
  • Cyclops and the Phoenix Force
  • The X-Men and the Micronauts #1-4
  • Bill Mantlo
  • The Hero Initiative
  • Micronauts
  • The Microverse
  • Baron Karza
  • Evil Xavier (more)(again)(seriously, how is anyone still surprised when this happens)
  • Several moral event horizons crossed in quick succession
  • Female protagonists in X-books

Next Week: Captain America in a loincloth!

You can find a visual companion to the episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration here, or contact David Wynne for the original!

YOU MADE ART! WE MADE MUGS!

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In Episode 31, we dropped the idea of Wolverine running an advice column, and not one but two of you magical folk sent us your versions of what that would look like!

Baum_asklogan
The column itself, by Chris Baum (text by Dear Abby).

 

A behind-the-scenes candid from Celia Connaire !
A behind-the-scenes candid from Celia Connaire !

 

SPEAKING OF ART! When we were uploading David Wynne’s gorgeous Demon Bear for the print of the week, Redbubble suddenly confronted us with a possibility we had never previously considered but found absolutely hilarious: Demon Bear travel mugs. I mean, look at this:

bearmug1

After a hurried twitter conference with David, we decided those should probably be a thing, and now they are. (Both prints and mugs will be up at the shop until Sunday, November 30, at which point the prints and probably the mugs will disappear forever.)

As Mentioned in Episode 31 – Chekhov’s Raygun

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Listen to the episode here!

You can get prints of David Wynne’s “Back to the Future Past” art here, or contact David for the original!
This guy.
We searched for the source for this for like an hour, with no luck. Wherever it comes from, we would very much like to send it back. (Update: It’s from X-Factor #69, with art by Whilce Portacio. Thank you, Breadcrumb!)
Rogue, no! He’s not worth it! He’s not even a Super Doctor Astronaut! (Uncanny X-Men #182)
Rogue’s schtick was–very briefly–throwing silver dollars. It did not last. (Uncanny X-Men #182)
Ooh, moral awakening! (Uncanny X-Men #182)
Aw, Kitty. Also, ace tandem use of speech and thought balloons. (Uncanny X-Men #183)
Remember when artists used to draw Wolverine at the proper height? (Uncanny X-Men #183)
SUNDAY PUNCH. Juggernaut, you delightful scamp. (Uncanny X-Men #183)
Wolverine is full of valuable life lessons, a remarkable number of which involve massive real-estate damage. (Uncanny X-Men #183)
Forge’s sweet, sweet pad. (Uncanny X-Men #184)
LOOK AT THIS DELIGHTFUL GENTLEMAN AND HIS DELIGHTFUL SHORTS (Uncanny X-Men #184)
Fun fact: Wolverine and the X-Men Forge is an unsettlingly accurate Miles doppelgänger.
He’s a nice dude. Too bad he’s SUPER DOOMED. (Uncanny X-Men #184)
Pro tip: the better Storm’s haircut, the better the general state of the timeline. (Uncanny X-Men #184)
Rachel Summers: THE SADDEST TIME TRAVELER. (Uncanny X-Men #185)
“What would Dracula do?” (Uncanny X-Men #185)
Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #185)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (Uncanny X-Men #185)
And now, Barry Windsor Smith! (Uncanny X-Men #186)
God, that opening. (Uncanny X-Men #186)
Storm does not need superpowers to be more badass than you. (Uncanny X-Men #186)
Straight talk. (Uncanny X-Men #186)
In a lot of ways, Storm’s arc over the last twenty or so issues has equipped her with the tools to get through this. (Uncanny X-Men #186)
Straight talk, part two. Love that “Lifedeath” is veyr much a love story that very much doesn’t resolve as such. (Uncanny X-Men #186)
Let’s take a moment to consider the logistics of this kick, shake our heads, and weep quietly. (Uncanny X-Men #187)
SHADOW PTEROSAURS (Uncanny X-Men #187)
Yukio callback! (Uncanny X-Men #187)
The best part is that he dressed up as a pilot, like that will somehow make this less conspicuous. (Uncanny X-Men #187)
Colossus: Terrible boyfriend, pretty great brother. (Uncanny X-Men #187)
As it happens, Magneto’s asteroid got knocked out of orbit by THE BEST SPACE-ROBOT TEENAGER EVER, but we’ll get to that next episode. (Uncanny X-Men #187)
Seriously. Saddest time traveler. (Uncanny X-Men #187)
Next episode: Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.