463 – The Fart Ghost That Walks Like a Manhattan

September 22, 2024 Jay 5 comments

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which Gambit is fundamentally goofy; t’ieves love research; Magneto was ripped; Professor Xavier remains a jerk; Miles attempts to convey something very fundamentally visual in an audio format; Marrow is adorable; the X-Men pretty much disband (again); and a miniseries is the opposite of a vacation.

X-PLAINED:

Where Wolverine went
Gambit Annual 1999
Uncanny X-Men #372
X-Men #92
A lot of backstory
A very cute plastic goose
What Gambit does in his free time
Those weird fluid-filled tubes they put people in all the time for some reason
Gambit’s abs
The fart ghost (Mary Purcell)
Manhattan, Indiana
A very minor continuity error
Fart ghost metaphysics
A very bad idea
A muppetworthy death
Dream’s various ends
X-pajamas
Professional dinosaurs
Thinkers
Theoretical Cyclops-Daredevil team-ups
X-characters recognizable as civilians

NEXT EPISODE: The return of the Damocles Foundation!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 457 – Stinking at the Moon

July 28, 2024 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Logan should always be a little funny-lookin’. (X-Men Unlimited #24)

He’s a berserker murder-uncle who can’t remember his past – she’s a grumpy doctor who’d rather be anywhere but here! Together, they’re Logan ‘n’ Cici – Thursdays on NBC! (X-Men Unlimited #24)

Seriously, I’d happily watch them argue about anything. (X-Men Unlimited #24)

Cecilia’s secondary mutation is the rare ability to avoid misunderstanding-based fights by using her words. (X-Men Unlimited #24)

Are you sure you’re not having fun, Dr. Reyes? (X-Men Unlimited #24)

Is he… is he biting the landing gear? (X-Men Unlimited #24)

Cecilia’s tertiary mutation is to not take any of your bullshit. (X-Men Unlimited #24)

Even a typo cannot mar this perfect panel. (X-Men Unlimited #24)

Jeez, Magnus! Put on some underwear over your pants! This is indecent! (X-Men Unlimited #24)

“But if there was, Father, rest assured that I would be an eighteenth-level Ranger.” (X-Men Unlimited #24)

Has he been carrying that plant around just hoping he’d have the chance to work it into a metaphor? (X-Men Unlimited #24)

“Just like I used to separate the people I teleported from their clothes!” (X-Men Unlimited #24)

“Fabian, what have I told you about sitting on my porn throne?” (X-Men Unlimited #24)

Nice to see a 1999 Magneto story remember all the super-nuance of his past. (X-Men Unlimited #24)

Jay’s got a point – how did they get Banshee into that thing? (Generation X #51)

Goodbye, old costumes… (Generation X #51)

…Hello, new costumes! (Generation X #51)

And that was it for Gaia. (Generation X #51)

Skin’s facial expression is the platonic ideal of “YIKES!” (Generation X #51)

I’m actually not sure which villain’s outfit is more surprising. (Generation X #51)

Armor’s powers, five years before Armor! (Generation X #51)

NEXT TIME: Some damned fine X-Force.

457 – Stinking at the Moon

July 28, 2024 Miles 7 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which the theme is too many inkers; Cecilia Reyes has no patience for your bullshit; Genosha’s going to be just fine (it’s not); we would watch a supercut of Fabian Cortez getting punched; we bid an abrupt farewell to Gaia; and comics are exhausting, yet captivating.

X-PLAINED:

Dazzler’s murder trial
X-Men Unlimited #24
The past and future of X-Men Unlimited
Doctor Cecilia Reyes
Ghost Pirate Cap’n Bloodscream
Wolverine and friends
Pushing your kid out of a plane as a basic first aid skill
Banter
The Silver Samurai (Keniuchio Harada)
Sunfire and the Big Hero Six
Projectile-based wordplay
Irene Adler, spoiler machine
Genosha (again)
The Cabinet of Doctor Lensherr
Magneto’s panties
Stupid metaphors
Football stars and their football cars
Magneto’s nuanced and baby-filled past
Generation X #51
Hunter & Tristan Brawn
Helicopter grandparents
Artie & Leech, perpetual moppets
Emma Frost, forever traumatized
Generation X’s new costumes
Gaia as the Bird Boy of Generation X
Peach Momoko’s Ultimate Armor
Sauron and the Lizard’s agendas and fashion
Comic book collecting preferences

NEXT EPISODE: Some damned fine X-Force.

Want to hire J&MXPtXM producer Matt Hunter to produce your podcast? Email him!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 456 – Until/Unless

July 24, 2024 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Techno-organic cover #1! (Uncanny X-Men #371)

Cheer up, Chuck – it’s just naptime at your school! I guess they all forgot their red and blue mats. (Uncanny X-Men #371)

I’m not so sure about this plot development, but… she’s just so happy! (Uncanny X-Men #371)

Hey, don’t judge: you look way grosser under your outer layer. (Uncanny X-Men #371)

“Dis was not in Gambit’s horoscope!” (Uncanny X-Men #371)

The Phalanx Covenant by Doctor Seuss. (Uncanny X-Men #371)

Techno-organic cover #2! (X-Men #91)

Take that, Billy G! You know what you did. (X-Men #91)

I love these weird faces and terrifying bone-trees! (X-Men #91)

Oof, brutal. (But nice dress, Rogue!) (X-Men #91)

URRKK indeed! (X-Men #91)

And for one panel, we were joined by the spirit of Bill Sienkiewicz. (X-Men #91)

Techno-organic cover #3! Yep, that’s Colossus’s arm from the last cover – we didn’t realize they connected until our listener Alex pointed it out on the blog! (X-Men Annual 1999)

This montage is way more efficient at describing continuity than our podcast. (X-Men Annual 1999)

Colonel Nicholas J. Fury, leading with guns and crotch. (X-Men Annual 1999)

Red Skull loves the Power Glove. It’s so bad. (X-Men Annual 1999)

Miles learned about the field of neurosurgery’s Thumbtack Technique back in college. (X-Men Annual 1999)

Go, Gadget, Go! (X-Men Annual 1999)

Yes, we know Douglock’s robo-suspenders started out as a miscoloring of his New Mutants uniform, but… they kinda work? (X-Men Annual 1999)

None of these new series will make it past a year. (X-Men Annual 1999)

NEXT TIME: Cecilia’s back!

456 – Until/Unless

July 21, 2024 Miles 3 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which there’s nothing inherently wrong with monster-of-the-week; Marrow’s makeover extends to her font; Red Skull gets a Power Glove; Marvel sets up a slate of spinoffs; and you should hire Matt Hunter to produce your podcast!

X-PLAINED:

What Danger’s been up to lately
Uncanny X-Men #371
X-Men #91
X-Men Annual 1999
Crossover cover design
Skrullverine
Machine Man
Dethlok vs. Dethklok
Jack Truman (Agent 18) (to some extent)
A nice dress
An awkward reunion
Gambit as a mentor
Billy G.
A daring but silly rescue
Several upcoming series
Marrow’s bone bikini and/or pubes
Whether Rogue can absorb animals

NEXT EPISODE: Cecilia Reyes returns from retirement!

Want to hire J&MXPtXM producer Matt Hunter to produce your podcast? Email him!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 455 – Space, Geeks, and Galactus

July 19, 2024 Miles One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Where the streets have no [right angles in their fr]ame (X-Men #89)

“Hey, this gravestone’s taken! Get your own!” (X-Men #89)

Perhaps our very favorite Spider-Man. (X-Men #89)

Still more competent than the Great Lakes Avengers. (X-Men #89)

Kitty meets “Kitty”. (X-Men #89)

PICTURED: the computer lab Jay and Miles worked in back in college. (X-Men #89)

You’re all dead! And wear red! And from your employers you have fled! (X-Men #89)

Just a hell of a nice cover. (Uncanny X-Men #370)

I mean, Fake-Vision’s not wrong. (Uncanny X-Men #370)

“Over”-acting? I don’t understand what that phrase means. (Uncanny X-Men #370)

“As you know, Skrull-Bob…” (Uncanny X-Men #370)

That is an exceptionally Muppet-y Skrull. (Uncanny X-Men #370)

Superbeings to the left of me, space pirates to the right… (Uncanny X-Men #370)

Skrull-ternative medicine. (Uncanny X-Men #370)

Hey, those Skrulls are Muppet-y too! (X-Men #90)

In which Alan Davis draws everybody. (X-Men #90)

Okay, so Professor X’s plan doesn’t work, but… hell of a speech, Chuck. (X-Men #90)

“I said just a little off the top!” (X-Men #90)

Welp, here we go. (X-Men #90)

Who designed this thing?! (X-Men #90)

Well damn. (X-Men #90)

“You come around here often, reflection?” (X-Men #90)

NEXT TIME: Douglock’s back!

455 – Space, Geeks, and Galactus

July 7, 2024 Jay 8 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which Roadhouse is basically a Wolverine story; Spider-Man does crimes; space names are derivative; there are lots of good reasons to yell at Professor Xavier; the X-Men do Doctor Who; Galactus is not interested in your puny human feelings; Marrow gets a new look; the Skrulls need a crash course in UI; and we overthink bones.

X-PLAINED:

The time the Skrulls did “A Piece of the Action”
The trouble with benevolent dictatorships
X-Men #89-90
Uncanny X-Men #370
A New York City that is not in fact New York City
“Spider-Man”
A ruse
Faces
Skrull problems
Mar-Vell
Adam Warlock
Sass vs. joviality
Skrull Cop City
Disguises
Nova (Frankie Raye)
How Galactus eats planets
Condiments
Several melees
Bone pubes
Skrull UI
Whether Moopsy could drink Wolverine’s bones
X-Musicals

NEXT EPISODE: The return of Douglock!

The Roald Dahl short story whose title Jay couldn’t recall is “Beware of the Dog.”

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

454 – X-Men ’97, Part 2

June 30, 2024 Miles 13 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

SPOILER WARNING: ALL OF THEM, NONSTOP

In which Barry Windsor-Smith is too sexy for television; we know what happens when unstable molecules get struck by lightning; X-Men gets political and does it spectacularly; this Captain America would not sew the cape; Magneto continues to throw things into space; and they kissed and we missed it.

X-PLAINED:

Fabian Cortez’s name
X-Men ’97 episodes 6-10
Lifedeath I & II: a surprising adaptation
Varying levels of going in blind
A somewhat different and possibly better Forge
The Adversary vs. the Owl Queen
Stormiest and least-Stormy costumes
Professor Charles Xavier, Official Space Boyfriend
Colonialism vs. Identity
Delayed catharsis
The narrative power of altered opening credits
What makes allyship effective (and not)
Justified mutant anger
The worst version of Nina DaCosta
What makes Prime Sentinels scary
Summers family feels
The best damned fight scenes out there
Bastion, robo-avatar of conservative white patriarchy
Simultaneous crossovers
A psychic gay bar
A last boss arena
Acolyte equivalencies
Phoenix Ex Machina
Crying
Whether Magneto was right
Apoca-futures and Apoca-pasts
A bulletin board and our hopes for its contents
Soft Serve
Kitty Pryde’s coffee shop AU
X-Men ’97 as the perfect gateway

NEXT EPISODE: Skrulls!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

The Judgment of Magneto by Asher Elbein

No visual companion this week!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

453 – X-Men ’97, Part 1

June 23, 2024 Jay 21 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

SPOILER WARNING: ALL OF THEM, NONSTOP

In which we put the comics on hold to take a look at X-Men ’97; it is still always Inferno in here; Wolverine is best used sparingly; a Marvel show finally embraces politics; Wolverine is best in small doses; Madeylne Pryor still always deserves better; Jubilee grows up; and we are all in on this series.

X-PLAINED:

“Beyond Good and Evil”
X-Men: The Animated Series and our respective feelings about it
X-Men ’97, episodes 1-5
Watching X-Men ’97 with and without context
Making animated Cyclops work
The Magneto’s-hair-length morality index
Politics
Voices
Adaptation pacing
Agency
Abcissa
Foreshadowing
Time compression
Horniest Rogue
Death in cartoons
A metaphor
Nonbinary identity in 1997
Character evolution

NEXT EPISODE: Episodes 6-10

No visual companion this week!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!