No, not the blonde guy from Harry Potter. The “Draco” I’m talking about is an Uncanny X-Men arc where Chuck Austen retconned Nightcrawler’s origin story to involve a father from an ancient race of demon-looking mutants long exiled to a hell dimension by a bunch of quasi-angelic counterparts.1
The Draco is one of the worst arcs of Austen’s already fairly shaky 2 run; and generally considered to be one of the worst X-Men stories ever. It’s the continuity equivalent of awkward makeouts at your company Christmas party: everyone does their best to politely pretend that it never happened, and if anyone brings it up, everyone familiar with the story gets acutely embarrassed by proxy.
I am telling you about The Draco not because it has any relevance whatsoever to X-Men: Evolution–it doesn’t–but so that you will understand where the bar sits when I tell you that “Shadowed Past” is my least favorite take on Nightcrawler’s origin story.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Jay and Max brave the X-Men anime; the problem isn’t in Wolverine’s pants; Xavier is for once less villainous than he seems; Emma Frost gets ruffly; Cyclops wasn’t even supposed to be here today; and we both really want to hang out with Scott Porter.
X-PLAINED:
Billy Kaplan and Tommy Shepherd
Waiting for the Trade
The X-Men Anime
Marvel Anime
Scott Porter
Jay’s ongoing attempts to assemble a coherent X-Men/Speed Racer conspiracy theory
Floating Hands Theater Wolverine
An unlikely T.A.
Several recurring flashbacks
The U-Men
The other U-Men
Armor (Hisako Ichiki)
Emma Frost, but ruffly
Evil Moira MacTaggert (Yui Sasaki)
The Sasaki Institute
The other Inner Circle
Marsh
Rat
Neuron
Takeo Sasaki
Potluck night at the Hellfire Club
Living vs. dead Jean Grey
NEXT EPISODE: Jubilee!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Havok and Wolverine head to Mexico; Havok tries his hand at noir; Wolverine gets serious about hair gel; Meltdown is probably not actually a common Russian surname; Susan X-Plains nuclear reactors; and we are pretty thoroughly besotted with Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown.
X-PLAINED:
Age of Apocalypse Corsair
Epic Comics
Marvel Comics Presents #24-31
Leila O’Toole (Plasma)
The Cold War
Samantha Smith
Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown #1-4
General Meltdown
Dr. Neutron
The varying deadliness of vices
Scarlett McKenzie (Quark)
Some exceptionally gorgeous artwork
Why we love Havok
Chernobyl
How nuclear reactors do and don’t work
Other characters we’d like to see in Meltdown-type stories
Adamantium vs. vibranium
NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men Anime
Special thanks to guest reactor X-Pert Susan Beaver!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
CONTENT NOTE: Episode 113 contains fairly extensive discussions of fictional violence, including gun violence. If you don’t want to listen to that right now, that is absolutely okay. If you want to listen to it later, it’ll still be here. And if you never want to listen to it, that is absolutely okay, too.
We were on the fence about whether to post this episode today. We ultimately decided to go ahead, for two reasons:
There’s value in routine in the face of tragedy.
There are times when continuing to exist visibly and publicly is itself an act of defiance.
Love and solidarity to everyone who’s grieving right now, and especially to our Florida friends and family, and to fellow members of the queer community.
-Jay & Miles
EPISODE 113: PLAY IT AGAIN, PATCH
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Wolverine gets an ongoing series; the constitution of Madripoor is probably just a list of pulp noir genre conventions; Tyger Tiger is a kinder, gentler crimelord; Jessica Drew gets possessed a lot; the Silver Samurai and Lindsay McCabe are our dream team; Joe Fixit is a font of endless delight; and someone should probably sit Wolverine down and explain how disguises work.
X-PLAINED:
The Murasama
The other Murasama
Life after Inferno
Madripoor
Wolverine #1-10
The Princess Bar
O’Donnell
The hierarchy of Casablanca references
Roche
Razorfist
The Inquisitor
Sapphire Styx
Tyger Tiger
What makes a good solo series
Lindsay McCabe
Wolverine’s signature drink
Possession pants
Silver Samurai (again)
Patch
Bloodsport & Roughouse
Archie Corrigan and his plane
Landau, Luckman, & Lake
Chief Tai
General Nguyen Ngoc Coy
Prince Baran and His Remarkable Pants
Joe Fixit
The worst possible way to celebrate someone’s birthday
NEXT EPISODE: Havok & Wolverine: Meltdown!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
We saw X-Men in the middle of a road trip the summer after our senior year of high school. Terrible vacation; fun movie.
X2: X-Men United is a very loose adaptation of one of our favorite X-Men stories: the Marvel Graphic Novel God Loves, Man Kills.
The less said about X-Men: The Last Stand, the better.
Jay can’t look at this X-Men: First Class poster without thinking of the Buckaroo Banzai end credits. It’s a blessing and a curse.
X-Men: Days of Future Past is one of the more ambitious retcons ever to grace the big screen.
X-Men: Apocalypse opens in the U.S. on May 27; and everywhere else at some point in the surrounding weeks.
Apocalypse’s on-panel debut… (X-Factor #5)
…and the first time we saw his signature costume. (X-Factor #6)
“Let’s adopt him and, I dunno, feed him scarab blood? Look, man, I’m making this up as I go along.” (Rise of Apocalypse #1)
Apocalypse’s true, diabolical plan, as realized in “The Twelve”: To capture a bunch of mutants and I guess put them in little terrariums? Apocalypse is a complicated guy. (Uncanny X-Men #377)
Apocalypse: Somehow actually more progressive than Doctor Who. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
The mechanics of Apocalypse’s body–and relative immortality–vary wildly from series to series. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
In the Age of Apocalypse, Apocalypse takes over Earth ahead of schedule and makes everything super glam. (X-Men: Alpha)
Deadpool may not be an X-Man, but his movie did feature the best version of the X-Men costumes to show up so far on screen.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which the X-Men cinematic universe is a really mixed bag; Kang the Conqueror ruins everything; everyone wants a Sphinx hovercraft; Elle was right; and we bring you up to speed on all things En Sabah Nur–just in time for X-Men: Apocalypse!
X-PLAINED:
How Chamber got his torso back (and then lost it again)(twice)
Several ways to count X-Men movies
X-Men
X2: X-Men United
X-Men: The Last Stand
X-Men: First Class
X-Men: Days of Future Past
Adaptation anxiety
Distillation vs. dilution
Apocalypse (En Sabah Nur)
Rise of Apocalypse #1-4
Akkaba
Dubious survival tips
Fantastic Four #19
Doctor Strange #53
Ozymandias
Various horsemen of Apocalypse
Age of Apocalypse (Earth-295)
The Twelve
Cinematic X-costumes
Cast Party
NEXT WEEK: Excalibur joins Inferno!
CORRECTION: In this episode, Jay states that Kieran Shiach explained Kang in the Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts. It was, in fact, the amazing Paul O’Brien. Mea culpa.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
It’s the whole gang! Kind of! And some of them are evil! BUT STILL! (Uncanny X-Men #242)
No, it’s not. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
SEE? (Uncanny X-Men #242)
Only one of many reasons that enthusiastic consent is important. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
Iceman is so underrated. Dude’s the heart and conscience of the original five. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
WELL, THEN. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
N’astirh may be evil, but he has impeccable taste in infernal vehicles. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
That’s the cold wind of metaphor, Alex. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
Madelyne Pryor knows from genre conventions. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
Aw, man. These two. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
Inferno’s a pretty dark crossover, but it has some really damn delightful moments. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
Love N’astirh’s face in that first panel. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
No one draws a possessed skyline like Silvestri. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
SUCKERS. You’ve still got three issues left! (Uncanny X-Men #242)
I’m genuinely curious as to whether this splash page started out as a cover design. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
“We’ll laugh about this later.” (X-Factor #38)
THAT SOUND EFFECT! (X-Factor #38)
Madelyne Pryor is the best at villain speeches. (X-Factor #38)
This panel is awesome, which is probably why there are going to be a lot of callbacks to it. (X-Factor #38)
This sequence is kind of a great encapsulation of a lot of Scott and Alex’s relationship. (X-Factor #38)
Jean’s rocky and reluctant alliance with the Phoenix force makes each of them a good deal more interesting. (X-Factor #38)
The most important relationship–and scenes–in Inferno are between Jean and Madelyne. I really wish we’d gotten more of the two of them together. (X-Factor #38)
“We’ll need to harness the power of all of our best sound effects!” (X-Factor #38)
Perfect panel is perfect. (X-Factor #38)
On one hand: this is all kind of Scott’s fault. On the other hand: it’s hard not to feel bad for him. (X-Factor #38)
Inferno: In which everyone is wrong and everyone is sympathetic. (X-Factor #38)
OH, YEAH! (Uncanny X-Men #243)
X-Factor will continue to play with this idea to some extent, but it’ll fade away pretty fast, and that’s a damn shame. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
Ditto, this. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
Jean, Madelyne, or Phoenix; her story at its best will always be about self-determination. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
Valid. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
Pawing through the X-Men’s stuff is one of the less invasive things Sinister has done in this arc, but there’s something extra creepy about it. (Uncanny X-Men #242)
Walter Simonson’s ability to make Longshot’s hair look good is the eight wonder of the world. (X-Factor #39)
Scott Summers’ Life Is An Actual Anxiety Dream, chapter infinity. (X-Factor #39)
Oh, hey, it’s the rest of Cyclops’s backstory! (X-Factor #39)
Does Nebraska even have a Department of Social Services? (X-Factor #39)
I just really love this page. (X-Factor #39)
This panel might have the highest appearance-to-reality-of-finality ratio in comics. (X-Factor #39)
And they all lived happily ever after. (X-Factor #39)
We’ll be bringing you up to speed on both the cinematic X-Men and Apocalypse’s comics background in episode 110, but if you want to brush up this week, you can do that here:
