“As completely as I understand what happens when two people like each other very much.” (X-Men #23)
And so forth. (X-Men #23)
And you thought that conversations with YOUR grandparents were awkward. (X-Men #22)
The creepiest thing about Sinister is the moments of profound disconnect when it’s clearly Sinister, but everyone reacts to him like he’s just a regular dude. (X-Men #22)
In which Scott Summers continues to never under any circumstances be allowed to take an actual vacation. (X-Men #22)
Seriously. (X-Men #23)
Heralding several decades of nonsense. (X-Men #23)
NEXT EPISODE: Dracula, live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival!
In which it has been a pretty intense month; there is a lot to unpack about Psylocke; we are confused by hip teen lingo; Cyclops definitively lacks game; organized crime is anything but; and the mystery of the third Summers brother officially begins.
X-PLAINED:
How the Maximoffs joined the Avengers
X-Cutioner’s Song fallout
An X-ceptionally convoluted set of retcons
X-Men #20-23
How not to repair an airplane
One way to get out of an awkward conversation
Several Betsys Braddock
Revanche
Dubiously organized crime
Kwannon
Nyorin’s diary
Awkward family conversations
Mike Milbury
Twin Peaks Season 3
Akira Yoshida
NEXT EPISODE: Dracula in Vegas!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
They are very excited to be here. (Uncanny X-Men #298)
This is exactly how we dress to watch TV, too. (Uncanny X-Men #298)
Ugh, THESE jerks. (Uncanny X-Men #298)
I mean, they were living there anyway, and it’s probably just as well that you saved them from being murdered, but you do you. (Uncanny X-Men #298)
Forge, you have never been reassuring in your life. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
Somewhere, a damp Magneto is skittering around waiting for his new carapace to harden. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
While I get that Warren’s intentions are probably good here, breaking into schools and holding the children while they sleep is generally frowned upon by LITERALLY EVERYONE. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
Look at him evade like a pro. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
BECAUSE WE WERE TOO MENNY (Uncanny X-Men #299)
Hank McCoy for President. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
I wish they just lied continually to Bishop about the modern world. (Uncanny X-Men #299)
Look at all those Xs! (Uncanny X-Men #300)
Forge, settle down, buddy. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
Iceman speaks for us all, here. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
PROFESSOR XAVIER IS KIND OF CREEPY. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
A good hug. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
And that’s why you always leave a note! Or don’t murder Magneto! One of those, probably! (Uncanny X-Men #300)
These villains are not wildly memorable. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
A rematch that’s been a long time coming. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
Even ’90s Cyclops has his moments. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
There’s the mutant metaphor, and then there’s the Jean Grey metaphor, which is related but not identical. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
“Magnets… I’ve had a few…” (Uncanny X-Men #300)
GLOWER. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
And then nobody was ever happy again. (Uncanny X-Men #300)
NEXT EPISODE: The Emma Frost Appreciation Society (feat. Seanan McGuire, Leah Williams, et. al.)
In which X-Cutioner’s Song may be over, but its repercussions continue; Uncanny X-Men hits a major milestone; superhero comics are and always have been political; Bishop learns to banter; the X-Men gain an unlikely ally; and Magneto remains exceptionally difficult to kill.
X-PLAINED:
Jay & Miles at VVCBF
Uncanny X-Men #298-300
The Acolytes (more) (again)
The Upstarts (more) (again)
Several important lessons
A very fancy room
A very fancy brain
The unpleasant fate of Sharon Friedlander
The all-new, all-different Acolytes
Carmella Unuscione
The return of one of our favorite antagonists
A sick burn
The fate of Asteroid M
Molting
A debate
Graydon Creed (more) (again)
The tentative redemption of Robert Kelly
How to lose a debate with Joe Biden
A large number of prescient political references
Friends of Humanity
How to engage with a fascist in a televised debate
Noah DuBois
Fatale
A generic rural mob
Milan
A narratively convenient superpower
Amelia Voght
Seamus Mellencamp
Neophyte
The gospel of Magneto
A joyous reunion
The helmet that wouldn’t die
Ponytail ethics
Timelust
Several accents
The current state of Rogue’s powers
NEXT EPISODE: All Emma All Episode (feat. Seanan McGuire, Leah Williams, and more)!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
In which it sucks to be a Rasputin; X-Men and Uncanny X-Men muddy the waters; Cyclops and Psylocke’s weird flirtation somehow manages to get even more awkward; Colossus has a long series of bad days; and you should totally come see us at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival.
X-PLAINED:
An atypical curriculum
Jay & Miles at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival
X-Men #17-19
What Colossus and Magik have been up to
X-Men title disambiguation
The terrible fate of the town of Neftelensk
Blind Faith (Alexi Garnov)
Darkstar (Laynia Petrovna)
Darkstar
Beard auras
Cathartic interdimensional landscaping
Flagwatch 113
Red Flag 113
An awkward encounter
The Soul Skinner
The tactical value of cute little ears
Dubious cold-weather apparel
Jude the Obscure
Weaponized angst
An inopportune coloring error
Lack of pants
Whether Pyro could control Jubilee’s “fireworks”
How to enjoy dated comics
NEXT EPISODE:Â Uncanny X-Men hits a major milestone!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
Look at this gorgeous monstrosity. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
This dude would not appear in the main Marvel Universe until about a decade after he was introduced here. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
FORESHADOWING! (Stryfe’s Strike File)
Mystique’s worst kid, by a fairly wide margin. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
Remember her; she’ll be a big deal later. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
Stryfe: The Worst Kid in Your Fandom. (Stryfe’s Strike File)
SPOILER: This cover is profoundly misleading. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
WARREN KENNETH WORTHINGTON III, YOU DID WHAT?! (Uncanny X-Men #297)
A rare moment of candor from Professor X. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
The only part of this issue that I REALLY have trouble believing is that Jubilee was carying around a second pair of ‘blades just for funsies. Those things are cumbersome as heck. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
DAMNIT, JUBILEE. THIS IS WHY NOBODY TRUSTS YOU. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
Aw. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
And Aw, again. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
Yet a third Aw. (Uncanny X-Men #297)
She’s beauty, she’s grace, she’ll explode your face. (X-Force #19)
Bobby has had a pretty rough year. (X-Force #19)
Slow clap. (X-Force #19)
Vanessa is not having a great time post-X-Force. (X-Force #19)
PHOENIX II DECOLLETAGE! (X-Force #19)
Those are actually… really snazzy team uniforms. Dang. (X-Force #19)
And that was the end of THAT particular metaphor. (X-Force #19)
If you want to get involved in the transcripts–or just hang out with rad folks–come join us on Discord! (Transcription organization happens in the Greymalkin channel.)
In which “wolves” proves a remarkably broad category in the 616; we at least nominally wrap up X-Cutioner’s Song; Stryfe could really use a style guide; we issue our first-ever music challenge; Jubilee is an agent of chaos; Gambit’s powers are a metaphor; Charles Xavier has a complicated relationship to disability; the quality of Jay’s penmanship is a matter of official record; Boom Boom is a remarkably good costume designer; Cannonball comes into his own as a leader; and every “WHAT?!” you hear on this show is fresh and original.
X-PLAINED:
Wolves, to a very limited extent
Jay & Miles (kinda) at NYCC
Transcripts
X-Cutioner’s Song
Stryfe’s Strike File
Uncanny X-Men #297
X-Force #19
A gentle bird caught in a swirling tornado of lust and desperation
Shades of me
Shades of you
Shades of them
Our first-ever music challenge
Some foreshadowing
Nostalgia
A very nice hug
The one good side effect of Stryfe’s technoorganic virus
Charles Xavier vs. disability politics
Several practical jokes in very poor taste
Teacher-student bonding
An excellent epithet
Some lettering choices
An extended Hail Caesar riff
The Clooney Scale
An enduring mystery
Clone powers
Exclamatory logistics
NEXT EPISODE: Hey, remember Excalibur?
MUSIC CHALLENGE: Write and record a song based on or using text from Stryfe’s Strike File (or any of his rants from X-Cutioner’s Song)! Send your masterpieces (or links to ’em) to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, with the subject STRYFE SONG!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
OH MY GOSH LOOK AT ALL THESE SKETCHES! (We also forgot to photograph a ton of the ones we did, including one of Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau in a Speedo. We are very sorry.)
Rogue, by Miles
Warlock, by Jay
Phoenix, by Miles
Business-Casual Cyclops, by Jay
Archangel, by Miles
Dazzler, by Jay
Phoenix II / Marvel Girl / Prestige, by Miles
MAGNETO! sharpie tats, by Jay
Iceman, by Miles
Quentin Quire, by Jay
Anole, by Miles
Jubilee, by Miles
Warlock, by Jay
Dark Phoenix, by Miles
Phoenix Quentin Quire, by Miles
Rictor, by Jay
Rogue, by Miles
Cyclops, by Jay
Wolverine, by Miles
A good drawing, which is how you can tell it’s not by us: Cyclops Has a Good Day, for Jay’s sketchbook, by Amy Reeder!
In which Leah dives headfirst into the world of con panels; Magdalene will burn down your idols; Sina is a fashion icon; none of the X-Men are straight (but they do share a sweater); you can’t spell “gay sex” without X; and we are all very, VERY in love with FlameCon.
Special thanks to Sina, Mags, Leah, Matt, Maya, Tea, Anna, the Discord crowd, and all our amazing listeners and patrons!
NEXT EPISODE: Stryfe’s Burn Book!
Check out some of our FlameCon photos and sketches on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)
“Send the Marines” is Tom Lehrer’s tribute to American interventionism, and also a very catchy song.
Aside from this Onion article, I could find no information about the alleged Stretch Armstrong recall, so I suspect that story may in fact be apocryphal. -J