Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: what the hell is even happening

188 – Live from ECCC, feat. Bret Blevins, Rachelle Rosenberg, and Ramon Villalobos

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In which Jay makes a sartorial switch; Hope Summers is less confusing than you might expect; we are very happy to present our first all-artist convention special; Ramon kills his idols; Rachelle deciphers the past; Bret (re)defines New Mutants; a long-time mystery is resolved; colorists deserve more respect; the Xavier School probably has an actual curriculum; and a lot of X-Men have really cool hair.

X-PLAINED:

  • The adventures of Hope Summers
  • Several Phoenix hosts
  • The time Quentin Quire became a Shi’ar god
  • Jay’s mom
  • Our panelists’ definitive X-Men
  • E for Extinction
  • Killing your idols
  • Coloring as archaeology
  • Visually defining the X-Men
  • New Mutants that might have been
  • Favorite costumes
  • The actual color of Storm’s ’90s costume
  • Editorial direction vs. editorial mandate
  • Practical considerations in costume design
  • Actual education at the Xavier School
  • Wolverine’s assorted children
  • The best hair in the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Cannonball dies (briefly)!

No visual companion to this one, but check out the first part of our ECCC gallery over on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 166 – Proteus Has Two Mommies

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
“We don’t need no conservation of mass!” (New Mutants Annual #7)
Harness and Piecemeal. It only gets creepier from here. (New Mutants Annual #7)
This is definitely the last thing you see before you die. (New Mutants Annual #7)
Spoiler: Nope. (New Mutants Annual #7)
99% sure these dudes do not actually know how to play chess. (New Mutants Annual #7)
How great would it have been if Cable had made a Gulliver’s Travels joke? So great. (New Mutants Annual #7)
“Attack them with all your sound effects!” (New Mutants Annual #7)
Spoiler: They do, and it’s not. (New Mutants Annual #7)
OH, THANK GOD. (New Warriors Annual #1)
Piecemeal’s shirt is a little on-the-nose. (New Warriors Annual #1)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdJg6Duzzf4 (New Warriors Annual #1)
Namorita is great. (New Warriors Annual #1)
Oh, dear me. (New Warriors Annual #1)
I really like all the character-intro pages in this crossover. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)
Mother of the year, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)
You’re never too evil or too sexy for some good, old-fashioned filicide! (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)
You sure are, James. You sure are. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #15)
Inappropriate, Bobby. (X-Factor Annual #6)
None of my math textbooks were ever this psychedelic. (X-Factor Annual #6)
I briefly considered making this visual companion nothing but character-intro pages. (X-Factor Annual #6)
“Kings of Pain? Oh, yeah, isn’t that the crossover where Cyclops encourages a disturbed youth to commit suicide?” (X-Factor Annual #6)
(Nah, actually, he’s comparatively ethical about it; especially considering that the kid is technically already dead and has been for years.) (X-Factor Annual #6)
Okay, then. (X-Factor Annual #6)
NEXT EPISODE: Summers family bullshit on the moon!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

 

166 – Proteus Has Two Mommies

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we finally announce our NYCC panel lineup; Boom Boom is the Gina Linetti of X-Force; we don’t actually know very much about the New Warriors; Cable grows as a person; Cyclops makes an ethically dubious call; Warren Kenneth Worthington III is a jerk; Jay gets very angry at a fictional character; no one gets a happy ending and the skeleton was inside you all along.

X-PLAINED:

  • Penance (but not that Penance)
  • Our actual, for-real NYCC panel details
  • “Kings of Pain”
  • New Mutants Annual #7
  • New Warriors Annual #1
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #15
  • X-Factor Annual #6
  • The Alliance of Evil
  • Harness
  • Piecemeal
  • Genetech
  • IDIC
  • Symbolic chess
  • The New Warriors
  • The Clean Plate Club from Hell
  • The Pec Twins
  • ReBoot
  • A really screwed up debate
  • Magneto vs. Human Nature
  • Privilege and Callouts

NEXT WEEK: Summers Family Bullshit on the Moon!

COME SEE US LIVE AT NEW YORK COMIC CON, WITH SPECIAL GUESTS CHRIS CLAREMONT AND LOUISE SIMONSON!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

LOOK AT THIS HELLA EPIC TEAM-UP

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Left to Right: Cory, Hub, and Jay in a really good Miles costume.

BLESS MY BOOTS, IT’S JAY & MILES X-PLAIN THE X-MEN AND TITAN UP THE DEFENSE!

We teamed up at Rose City Comic Con for THE DEVIL’S IN THE DETAILS, an epic examination of convoluted continuity, which you can hear RIGHT NOW over on Titan Up the Defense!

Click through to learn all about moose-antler arrows, Daredevil’s fake twin, what we’ve got on Wikipedia, and an extended metaphor in which you–yes, YOU–drop a bunch of acid with wrestling’s Macho Man Randy Savage!

As Mentioned in Episode 129 – They Don’t Allow Dragons in Here

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Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Lockheed, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore. (Excalibur #12)
Spoiler: this ends exactly the way you’d expect it to. (Excalibur #12)
This guy. (Excalibur #12)
IT’S SUCH A GOOD SIGHT GAG! (Excalibur #12)
Fisticuffs! (Excalibur #12)
This series has the best covers, man. (Excalibur #13)
Swell new threads, Cap! (Excalibur #13)
Princess Kitty, now 100% more bland. (Excalibur #13)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #13)
THIS IS NOT A GOOD FOUNDATION FOR A RELATIONSHIP. Also, I’m pretty sure they’re both, like, fourteen. (Excalibur #13)
Another classic. (Excalibur #14)
I’m not saying he’s not, but… (Excalibur #14)
Whoa, dang. (Excalibur #14)
Oh. THAT guy. (Excalibur #14)
The more you know! (Excalibur #14)
Swell new threads, Meggan! (Excalibur #14)
I always remember Albert being in this scene, which he’s obviously not, because he didn’t exist yet. Go figure. -J (Excalibur #14)
It’s like the dog ending of Silent Hill II, but instead of shibas, you get Chris Claremont and John Byrne. (Excalibur #14)
You tell ’em, Galactus! (Excalibur #14)
Look, we get what you were going for, but, no. (Excalibur #12)
I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. (Excalibur #13)
You can go home now. We’ve hit single greatest panel of Excalibur, ever. (Excalibur #15)
Ah, “the old-fashioned way.” (Excalibur #15)
MEANWHILE… (Excalibur #15)
AND THEN… (Excalibur #15)
Jamie Jaspers is terrifying. (Excalibur #15)
LATER… (Excalibur #15)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Excalibur #15)
NEXT EPISODE: Killing the X-Men, with Charles Soule!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

129 – They Don’t Allow Dragons in Here (The Cross-Time Caper, Part 1)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which “Cross-Time Caper” is something of a misnomer; Excalibur is an awful lot of fun to summarize; none of us will ever live up to Oscar Wilde’s expectations; Captain Britain secretly derives his powers from genre; sometimes things turn out to be simple; Kitty Pryde is better at everything than you; manipulation and murder are the new flowers and candy; context may or may not ruin everything; Meggan gets a new outfit; Technet takes Brighton; and some universes are just too silly to survive.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rick Jones, Sidekick Supreme
  • The Cross-Time Caper
  • Excalibur #12-15
  • Three love triangles
  • Jay’s mom’s late iguana
  • Captain Marshall, Lord Champion of the Realm
  • Prince William
  • Butch the ogre
  • Princess Kate
  • Fisticuffs
  • Instant air conditioning, Excalibur-style
  • Bagpipe Vader
  • An anticlimactic solution to a protracted problem
  • Sorcery 101
  • Several profoundly unethical ways to initiate a relationship
  • Arrested Excalibur
  • The Campsite Rule of relationships
  • The logistics and social history of tarring and feathering
  • A protracted parody
  • A very large number and several names for it
  • A theoretical team-up
  • Ultimate Hunger
  • An unidentified comic that is not Ultimate Hunger
  • Some less-than-ideal creative choices
  • A multiversal montage
  • Jamie Braddock (more) (again)
  • A duck
  • The unenviable fate of Doctor Crocodile
  • Pairing mutants with metal genres
  • Inconsistent flight safety measures

NEXT EPISODE: Killing the X-Men, with Charles Soule

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
The vaguely slapstick motifs in this story somehow make it even sadder. (New Mutants #64)
And it really only gets more depressing from here. (New Mutants #64)
No, seriously. (New Mutants #64)
Everything is terrible forever. (New Mutants #64)
=( (New Mutants #64)
Yeah, we do not have a sassy caption for this. Sorry. (New Mutants #64)
Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #64)
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
Harder than fighting Sentinels, apparently. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
“It’s four hours of me, a vacuum cleaner, and a theremin.” (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
The X-Men take costume parties REALLY DAMN SERIOUSLY. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
“Also, that is literally one of the only two non-uniform outfits you own.” (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
How not to lay out a page for coherent reading order. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
SO THEN THAT HAPPENED. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
And they all lived happily ever after. THE END! (But Doug Ramsey was still dead.) (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)

91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which New Mutants #64 is the saddest single issue of any X-book ever; the New Mutants have to grow up fast; Warlock comes to terms with mortality; The Last of Us is harder to play the second time; Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade is delightfully unhinged; animated Cyclops is totally the worst; Beast probably has a terrible garage band; Jean starts a kitchen fire; and Wolverine saves Jubilee’s birthday.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • The saddest issue ever
  • New Mutants #64
  • The only okay way to watch Grave of the Fireflies
  • The aftermath of Doug Ramsey’s death
  • Several unhealthy coping mechanisms
  • The Last of Us
  • Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade
  • Some varyingly impressive costumes
  • General irresponsibility
  • Why Wolverine is wearing a clown suit
  • Douglock
  • The New Mutants’ D&D alignments

NEXT WEEK: You never forget your first Ship.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 80 – For the Mutant Who Has Everything

6 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/1/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
I’d like to point out that when Wolverine gets drunk, he sings show tunes. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
That’s… that’s quite a look, Horde. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
Daaaaaaaaang. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
Dear Everyone Who Thought Wolverine and Storm Hooked Up Out of Nowhere Last Year,
NOPE.
Love, R&M
(Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
This is like a Highlights for Children “What is wrong with this picture” page, and the answer is “everything.” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
Havok really desperately needs a vacation. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
Every outfit on this page is amazing… (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
…but none of them are quite so amazing as this outfit. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
“You don’t do that! You don’t throw your skin at a person!” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
Statue of this now, please. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
The moment where it all went wrong. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
“I feel it! I feel the cosmos!” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
This is actually a pretty good single-panel primer for this X-team. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
Wait, WHAT?! (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
Doug. Doug, no. (New Mutants Annual #3)
Oh, hi. (New Mutants Annual #3)
Screw that Mxyzptlk jerk–the Impossible Man is where it’s at! (New Mutants Annual #3)
The Impossible Man X-Plains Uncanny X-Men Annual #7. (New Mutants Annual #3)
The whole issue in a nutshell. (New Mutants Annual #3)
Graduation costumes: definitely still terrible. (New Mutants Annual #3)
‘Kay. (New Mutants Annual #3)
That last panel, tho. (New Mutants Annual #3)
These goofballs. (New Mutants Annual #3)
WELL, THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY. (New Mutants Annual #3)
Game, set, and match. (New Mutants Annual #3)
There’s really no other way this issue could have ended. (New Mutants Annual #3)
We’re going to be guests at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival on November 7! Come say hi, buy cool stuff, and be part of our second-ever live episode!
The first episode of the Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts launches THIS THURSDAY, October 29, on FanBros! For more info, check out the announcement, and be sure to follow the Convergence on Twitter and Tumblr for host profiles, updates, and more!
NEXT WEEK: All-New X-Men, with Dennis Hopeless!

LINKS:

80 – For the Mutant Who Has Everything

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/1/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/1/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which we go back in time to take a look at two annuals; everyone is really excited about Excalibur; Claremont ups his illusion game; Horde should probably not be allowed to dress himself; Rachel fires the X-Men; Havok needs better role models; Psylocke’s secondary mutation is femme power; Kyle X-Plains giant monsters; we check in with Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau; and you should totally come see us at Vegas Valley Comic-Book Festival on November 7!

X-PLAINED:

  • Dazzler’s powers
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #11
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #7
  • New Mutants Annual #3
  • The Hostage, by Brendan Behan
  • Wolverine vs. Historical Fiction
  • Horde and his amazing outfit
  • The Citadel of light and shadow
  • The fantasy lives of X-Men
  • Things to do with a shed human skin
  • The secret origin of Wolverine’s overactive healing factor
  • The Impossible Man (and how to defeat him)
  • The Shogun Warriors
  • What happened to Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau
  • Powers we don’t like
  • Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival

NEXT EPISODE: All-New X-Men with Dennis Hopeless!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!