Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 299 – Toaster Ovens of the Gods

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For full effect, there really needs to be an inset panel of Storm mugging at the reader. (What If? vol. 2 #77)
Forge is a JERK. (What If? vol. 2 #77)
What the hell kind of weird drills does this universe have? (What If? vol. 2 #77)
It’s weird that there’s a universe where both of these kids exist. (What If? vol. 2 #77)
I wonder if the Phoenix designs new costumes every time; and, if so, what its aesthetic phases have been. (What If? vol. 2 #77)
Is this page foreshadowing a Days of Future Past-style dystopia? Discuss. (What If? vol. 2 #77)
No, seriously, he JUST KEEPS SAYING IT. (What If? Featuring X-Men: Age of Apocalypse)
That hair. (What If? Featuring X-Men: Age of Apocalypse)
Brother Voodoo X-Plains the premise. (What If? Featuring X-Men: Age of Apocalypse)
Uncalled for, Ben. (What If? Featuring X-Men: Age of Apocalypse)
Damnit, Nate. (What If? Featuring X-Men: Age of Apocalypse)
Just had to work it in again, huh? (What If? Featuring X-Men: Age of Apocalypse)
The costume just isn’t the same without metal wings. (What If? Featuring X-Men: Age of Apocalypse)
DAMNIT, NATE. (What If? Featuring X-Men: Age of Apocalypse)
Why does Magneto look kind of like Keanu Reeves here? (What If? vol. 2 #81)
The more I look at the art from this issue, the angrier I get about it. (What If? vol. 2 #81)
[cries in comics editor] (What If? vol. 2 #81)
Galactus is a poet, and he didn’t even know it! (He knew it.) (What If? vol. 2 #81)
Relatable sentiment. (What If? vol. 2 #81)
Hello, mid-1990s CG. You… sure do exist. (What If? vol. 2 #81)
NEXT EPISODE: The end of a world. (Also, #300? So, that’s a thing.)

LINKS & FURTHER HYPOTHETICALS

299 – Toaster Ovens of the Gods

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In which some universes are more pleasant than others; Havok is basically a Care Bear; Wolverine is a P.R. nightmare; Nate Grey tries; stealth is not among the Silver Surfer’s strengths; Night Thrasher ascends to godhood; Jay and Miles dive down the What If rabbit hole.

X-PLAINED:

  • Earth-200500 (again)
  • Earth-42409
  • What If? vol. 2 #77
  • What If? Featuring X-Men: Age of Apocalypse
  • What If? vol. 2 #81
  • Earth-77995
  • Fashion editorials
  • One of the worse versions of Forge
  • Superheroes x fashion
  • Care Bears vs. X-Men
  • The Hellfire Club of Earth-77995
  • A surprisingly normal Grey-Summers family
  • Several uses for the Phoenix Force
  • Worst-case scenarios
  • Earth-93074
  • Savage Land home ec
  • Bad choices
  • The Defenders of Earth-93074
  • How to manipulate Nate Grey
  • Narrative benefits of omnipotence
  • A time loop
  • Earth-9601
  • A meeting on the moon
  • What the Watcher watches
  • Galactus
  • The Silver Surfer
  • Grandpa Magneto
  • Some remarkable technology
  • A heavy-handed metaphor
  • Our takes on What If scenarios
  • The Corbeau-Grey scale of decision making
  • Storm’s eyes
  • Our character voices

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Omega

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 279 – Giant-Size Special #8

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
IT BEGINS! (Generation X #1)
Seriously, though, that is really gross. (Generation X #1)
I want to read a miniseries about this kid. (Generation X #1)
They are so very, very parents. (Generation X #1)
Sean Cassidy, OF ALL PEOPLE, should know EXACTLY how dangerous trees can be. (Generation X #1)
An old friend–of ours, and apparently of Monet’s. (Generation X #1)
Emplate is so cool and creepy! (Generation X #1)
Also cool and creepy: Chamber. (Generation X #1)
The covers of this series are so inviting. (Generation X #2)
For the record, HICK is worth 13 points to LOSER’s 5. (Generation X #2)
Penance is nothing if not efficient.
Ooh, Monet is GREAT. (Generation X #2)
That horror-movie framing! (Generation X #2)
DAMN, Paige! (Generation X #3)
Chamber is a neat dude. (Generation X #3)
Nanny X-plains puberty. (Generation X #3)
Mondo and Cordelia are… complicated. (Generation X #3)
If it weren’t for the two troubles in a row, this cover would be pretty darn near perfect, gradient and all. (Generation X #4)
Bachalo’s marginalia is WONDERFUL. (Generation X #4)
Seriously, so good. (Generation X #4)
Hi, Eliot. (Generation X #4)
Not all the images are gonna be of these guys, but it was tempting. (Generation X #4)
Fortunately, sometimes they intersect with plot. (Generation X #4)
And sometimes not. (Generation X #4)
I… I just love them so much. (Generation X #4)
Orphanmaker grew up! (Generation X #4)
Meanwhile, everything is terrible. (Generation X #4)
Well, maybe not everything. (Generation X #4)
This is one of my favorite scenes in any comic, ever. (Generation X #4)
And then, Legion Quest ended. (Generation X #4)
So, yeah, this is a thing, and you can watch it here should you find yourself so inclined.
NEXT WEEK: Jay & Miles on vacation!
NEXT EPISODE: Bishop goes solo!

LINKS & FURTHER FESTIVITY:


The full list of winners of the 2019 Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence will be posted separately on 12/30.

279 – Giant-Size Special #8

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay would absolutely fight Christmas; we welcome guest X-Perts Christina Strain and Chip Zdarsky; a gift arrives; we consider the relationship of Generation X to Generation X; it is really not okay to leave your discarded skins lying around; D.O.A. is inordinately delightful; Chamber is the punk Shadow; Gateway goes to school; the Generation X TV movie is very, very bad; telepathy is free; the grown-ups are all right; home sucks; freedom rocks; Mondo deserves better; Matt Frewer did most things first; Kevin McNulty has appeared in literally everything; and you remain our favorites, ever.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mutation, for some value of the term
  • Holidays and the observation thereof
  • December 9
  • Jay’s ideal Christmas
  • How Chris Bachalo’s name is pronounced (more) (again) (sorry)
  • Several promotions
  • Generation X
  • Generation X #1-4
  • Generation X
  • Husk (Paige Guthrie)
  • M (Monet St. Croix)
  • Skin (Angelo Espinosa)
  • Synch (Everett Thomas)
  • Chamber (Jonothon Starsmore)
  • The New Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters
  • Counting Genises
  • The housekeeping implications of body horror
  • The M retcon
  • Continuity in costume design
  • The Danger Grotto
  • Emplate (somewhat)
  • D.O.A.
  • Penance (not that one)
  • Scrabble burns
  • An alternate take on power duplication
  • Mondo ()
  • The return of Nanny and the Orphanmaker
  • Eliot ()
  • A tentative friendship
  • How the Age of Apocalypse comes to Generation X
  • A movie that never fails to disappoint
  • The vagaries of adaptation
  • The best on-screen Emma Frost
  • Gang emails of the 1990s
  • Refrax
  • Buff
  • William Castle
  • The comedic genealogy of Max Headroom
  • Hatley Castle
  • The 2019 Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence

NEXT WEEK: Jay & Miles go on vacation!
NEXT EPISODE: Bishop goes solo!

Special thanks to Christina Strain, Douglas Wolk, and Chip Zdarsky; and–always–to Matt Hunter, David Wynne, Tea Fougner, Anna Sheffey, and all of our patrons and listeners!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!