Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/23/2015 in the shop (also pencils skirts, ‘cause, why the hell not?) or contact David for the original.
SPOILER. (X-Factor #12)
Meanwhile, in a nearby sitcom… (X-Factor #12)
HI, BOOM BOOM! (X-Factor #12)
Seriously, though, THOSE DRAMATIC GESTURES! (X-Factor #12)
FUN FACT: In 1987, a sufficiently high Dig Dug score actually provided legal immunity from a number of petty misdemeanors in the state of New York! (X-Factor #12)
X-Factor: Trained superheroes; still haven’t really gotten the hang of doors. (X-Factor #12)
This will certainly end well. (X-Factor #13)
Oh, hi, that one photo of Jean! It’s been a while! (X-Factor #13)
Aw, these kids. (X-Factor #13)
I can’t figure out what kind of fish this is supposed to be, and it’s really bothering me. (X-Factor #13)
Cameron Hodge: Definitely the worst. (X-Factor #13)
Same story, different door. (X-Factor #13)
LOOK AT THAT AMAZING ZOMBIE ROBOT. LOOK. LOOK. (X-Factor #13)
Seriously, just buy some damn lockpicks already. (X-Factor #13)
Scott Summers’s life: literally an anxiety dream. (X-Factor #13)
Those Walter Simonson layouts, tho. Dang. (X-Factor #14)
Even Rusty and Skids can’t look away from the amazing soap opera. (X-Factor #14)
Aw, man. (X-Factor #14)
Trish, THERE IS A TIME AND A PLACE. (X-Factor #14)
“Oh, shit, we totally saved him from an inevitable and painful death! We’re monsters!” (X-Factor #14)
This cover is kind of hilarious. (X-Factor #15)
WHO KEEPS BRINGING HIM NEWSPAPERS? Probably Cameron Hodge. JERK. (X-Factor #15)
“Also, I think I might have a kid? I’m pretty sure there was a plot point about that last issue.” (X-Factor #15)
Caliban tries so hard. (X-Factor #15)
Due to lack of participation in X-Factor’s mandatory program of despair, Iceman has been temporary relocated to another book. (X-Factor #15)
I know this is supposed to be very poignant, but I can’t stop wondering why the hell Angel’s little private plane has fucking MISSILES. (X-Factor #15)
Well, I mean, it’s one way to get to Arizona. (X-Factor #15)
NEXT WEEK: Technoorganic blues!
LINKS, LINKS, LINKS!
Did you know there’s a ton of cool stuff to read and see at rachelandmiles.com? Obviously you do, since you’re already here.
David Wynne is the rad dude behind the illustrations you see at the top of every episode!
In which everything is terrible; miscommunication triangles are way more awkward than love triangles; Boom Boom is universally delightful; Miles has feelings about ‘80s fashion; Apocalypse is judging your band posters; X-Factor still hasn’t gotten the hang of doors; Cyclops’s life continues to be an anxiety dream; the Twelve are better in foreshadowing than practice; and Angel dies as he lived: half-naked, at an airport.
X-PLAINED
The evolution of Angel
Cold opens
rachelandmiles.com
X-Factor so far
X-Factor #12-15
A miscommunication triangle
Boom Boom (Tabitha Smith)
Rachel’s Marc Silvestri causality loop
Boom Boom vs. Jubilee
Cameron disambiguation
Famine
Master Mold (more) (again)
The Twelve
Tanya Trask
Caliban
NEXT WEEK: Technoorganic blues!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/9/2015 in the shop (once Redbubble’s uploader starts working again, anyway), or contact David for the original.
Just another 70’s monster comic. You’d never know it was about an X-Man. (Amazing Adventures #11)
Drama, destruction, and slightly off-model mutants. (Amazing Adventures #11)
Flashback to Hank leaving the X-Men. Who knows if he’ll ever come back? (Amazing Adventures #11)
In which Carl Maddicks is a total jerk, and Hank McCoy is very good at science. (Amazing Adventures #11)
Great use of panel borders by Tom Sutton on this page. (Amazing Adventures #11)
The Beast at the height of his invulnerability and his creepiness. (Amazing Adventures #11)
Spectacularly horrific splash page by Tom Sutton and Mike Ploog (Amazing Adventure #12)
The closet’s just more trouble than it’s worth. (Amazing Adventure #12)
A visually striking panel of Iron Man flirting with the Beast. (Amazing Adventure #12)
Don’t panic; nothing on this page is actually happening. (Amazing Adventure #12)
Mastermind is as long-winded as Unus is unimpressed. (Amazing Adventure #13)
The Carnival is a haven for the strangest of mutants and the saddest of clowns. (Amazing Adventure #13)
Two mysterious and seemingly boring people arrive at the super-science ultra-mega-labs of the Brand Corporation. (Amazing Adventure #13)
This Beast is a little intense. (Amazing Adventure #13)
When Mastermind loses, he loses hard. (Amazing Adventure #13)
Drama in pajamas. (Amazing Adventure #14)
If you’ve never met Quasimodo the Living Computer… You’re probably fine, actually. (Amazing Adventures #14)
We never learn why Hank went to Patsy’s place to collapse, but the more important question is, why does she keep that Target dorm room floor lamp right in front of the door?(Amazing Adventures #15)
Hank really hasn’t been running his whole life, but film noir dialogue seems appropriate for the debut of the black (soon to be blue) Beast. (Amazing Adventures #15)
At the Xavier School, Scott stands silently in shadow, while Charles and Jean won’t let Warren use the switchboard. (Amazing Adventures #15)
Angel takes things in stride. (Amazing Adventures #15)
Nothing can defeat the hugging power of the Beast. (Amazing Adventures #15)
Hank meets Roy Thomas, and the Juggernaut literally falls out of the sky. (Amazing Adventures #16)
Meanwhile, in Canada… (The Incredible Hulk #161)
Hank continues to make odd choices in pretty much everything. (The Incredible Hulk #161)
The Hulk drops in. (The Incredible Hulk #161)
Wheel of mutants (this is all part of Nixon’s plan). (Captain America #174)
This is what happened in the 616 instead of Watergate. (Captain America #175)
Edward G. Robinson shows up at Avenger auditions. (Avengers #137)
Introducing the new smiling, fun-loving Beast. I wonder why his eyelids are so heavy? (Avengers #137)
The soothing effects of Stevie Wonder and Carlos Castaneda. (Avengers #137)
Patsy Walker finally lives her dream. (Avengers #144)
Family drama at the Indian restaurant. (Marvel Team-Up #124)
Hank has a bad day at the disco. (Avengers #178)
NEXT WEEK: Everything is terrible.
Special thanks to our awesome guest hosts, Elle Collins and Graeme McMillan, who not only covered the episode, but also provided this visual companion AND answered a bunch more questions in text (we’ll be posting those later this week). If you love Elle and Graeme as much as we do and want to hear more of ’em, here’s where to find those two on the web:
In which Elle and Graeme save the day; Hank McCoy joins the real world (sort of) (briefly); Carl Maddicks may or may not be undead; academic discourse in the Marvel Universe leaves a few things to be desired; Steve Englehart is an unsung hero of X-Men; Mastermind lives up to his name; Warren Worthington has a good attitude about mutation; and Avengers Beast is the best Beast; and Graeme has strong feelings about Moira MacTaggert.
X-PLAINED:
The complex romantic life of Patsy Walker
The increasingly terrible life choices of Hank McCoy
Amazing Adventures #11-17
Incredible Hulk #161
Captain America #173-175
Avengers #137, 144, & 178
Marvel Team-Up #124
Life after the X-Men
The Brand Corporation
Carl Maddicks (again)
Vampire Secret Agent Linda Donaldson
The dubious chemical cause of mutation
Beast as proto-Wolverine
Steve Englehart
The high price of passing
Several unusually realistic latex masks
Norman Mailer’s Handbook for Unliberated Women
Sad clowns
Buzz Baxter
Hellcat (Patsy Walker)
Someone who might be Carole King, Indira Gandhi, or your sister (but isn’t)
Questionable corporate practices
Quasimodo (but not that one)
Semantics of fur color
The Griffin
The Secret Empire
Actual supervillain Richard Nixon
Mimic (Cal Rankin)
Avengers Auditions
Best Beast stories
Scotland
Special thanks to guest hosts Elle Collins & Graeme McMillan!
NEXT WEEK: Everything is terrible.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
If this week’s illustration reminds you of last week’s, that’s because they’re two parts of this rad panorama! Again, prints are available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Mystique, what are you even doing? (X-Factor #9)
This, again. (X-Factor #9)
Passing privilege in action! (X-Factor #9)
That’s actually pretty clever. (X-Factor #9)
MOPPETS. (X-Factor #9)
Meanwhile in Apartment 3G… (X-Factor #10)
WRONG CHOICE, ANGEL. (X-Factor #10)
One horseman down, three to go. (X-Factor #10)
Damn, Jean. (X-Factor #10)
Ouch. (X-Factor #10)
OUCH. (X-Factor #10)
There is never a worst time to be a Power kid than during an X-line crossover. (Power Pack #27)
Everyone hates X-Factor. (Power Pack #27)
It really does kind of cheapen Sabretooth’s menace when a bunch of kids can take him down–even these kids. (Power Pack #27)
COMICS FOR KIDS. (Power Pack #27)
And then everything was sad forever. (Power Pack #27)
BEHOLD THIS MAJESTIC THUNDER GOD AND HIS MAJESTIC BEARD! (The Mighty Thor #373)
No, but seriously, though. (The Mighty Thor #373)
Thor has frog friends. (The Mighty Thor #373)
Have we mentioned that we love Thor? We love Thor. (The Mighty Thor #373)
There’s a reason that Walter Simonson is the gold standard for epic dialogue. (The Mighty Thor #374)
Aw. (The Mighty Thor #374)
There’s a lot of straight-up killing on the hero side of this event. (The Mighty Thor #374)
(X-Men #9, specifically.) (The Mighty Thor #374)
Thor: Definitely the best dude you know. (The Mighty Thor #374)
It’s funny, because miscommunication. (X-Factor #11)
“Run! It’s a crossover issue!” (X-Factor #11)
X-Factor drinking game: Drink every time someone has to explain the relationship between X-Factor and the X-Terminators. (X-Factor #11)
Halfway there, Apocalypse! (X-Factor #11)
Ouch. (X-Factor #11)
On the upside: Boom-Boom! (X-Factor #11)
NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants party like it’s 1299!
LINKS & FURTHER READING
Listen to Episode 65–The Mutant Massacre, Part 1–here!
You can find the Mutant Massacre reading order here.
Have you read Walter Simonson’s run of The Mighty Thor yet? You should really go do that. It starts here.
In which we wrap up our first official two-parter; Gambit ruins everything; Rachel has a theory about Mister Sinister; Marvel communication technology is behind the times; Trish Tilby is tired of your bullshit; Walter Simonson is the best of the best; X-Factor pulls it together; Power Pack gets uncomfortably dark; Miles has Thor feelings; and even more mutants die.
NOTE: This episode is the second of a two-parter! If you haven’t listened to Episode 65, where we cover the first half of the mutant massacre, you should probably do that before you listen to this one!
X-PLAINED:
Masque
Tentacle disambiguation
More of the Mutant Massacre
A Sinister hypothesis
Several Marauder-related retcons
X-Factor #9-11
Power Pack #27
The Mighty Thor #373-374
Trish Tilby
Artie & Leech
Several awkward reunions
Walter Simonson
The fall of Angel
Apocalypse’s horsemen
Yet another crossover that will probably scar the Power kids for life
Franklin Richards
Thor, Donald Blake, and Sigurd Jarlson
The best issue of any comic, ever.
The Tunnelers
Ongoing repercussions of the Mutant Massacre
Rachel & Miles’s horseman identities
Which X-Men could and should wield Mjolnir
NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants party like it’s 1299!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/12/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
A very happy 4th birthday to the Littlest Consulting X-Pert, Kestrel!
Because she is AWESOME, Kes decided that she wanted a party with all her kid friends and all her grown-up friends as superheroes. Here’s Rachel as slightly off-brand O5 Cyclops, and Miles as DIY Thor.
Full O5 group: Rachel as Cyclops, Dave Proctor as Beast, Douglas Wolk as Iceman, Jesse Miller as Angel, and Katie Proctor as Marvel Girl.
Come for the superheroics, stay for the soap opera! (X-Factor #6)
Oh, THERE’S the Apocalypse we know and love! (X-Factor #6)
Even your villains are fed up with your angst, X-Factor. (X-Factor #6)
Ladies and gentlemen: the world’s oldest and most powerful mutant. (X-Factor #6)
Phoenix flare or pareidolia? YOU BE THE JUDGE! (X-Factor #6)
The Saddest Mutants (TM). (X-Factor #7)
“Look! A distraction!” Cyclops, we love you, but sometimes you really are the worst. (X-Factor #7)
These guys. (X-Factor #7)
SERIOUSLY WHY ARE YOU NOT ALREADY COSPLAYING SKIDS GO COSPLAY SKIDS (X-Factor #7)
Valid. (X-Factor #7)
This is almost embarrassing to read. (X-Factor #7)
X-Factor: fighting themselves metaphorically AND literally! Side note: This scene is funny until you realize X-Factor is turning Bulk and Glow Worm’s last desperate attempt to make a difference before their inevitable death into a farce. (X-Factor #7)
What. (X-Factor #8)
Aw, man. Right in the feels. (X-Factor #8)
Jean Was Right. (X-Factor #8)
VERA. (X-Factor #8)
Freedom Force briefings are so weird. (X-Factor #8)
“An invitation to a crossover? Hot dog!” (X-Factor #8)
I don’t know why I find Spiral just taking off mid-fight for a different comic so funny, but GOD, I do. (X-Factor #8)
“Come with me if you want to be FABULOUS!” (X-Factor #8)
NEXT WEEK: The Mutant Massacre begins!
LINKS & FURTHER READING:
We’ve linked before to Chris Claremont’s X-Men, but we’re doing it again, because it’s fascinating and you should all go watch it.
If you are fond of loving snark and deep dives into Marvel continuity, you should really already be reading Max Carleton’s Waiting for the Trade. (If you’re not fond of those things, why are you here?)
In which Louise Simonson saves X-Factor; Apocalypse gets off to a rough start; Cyclops is bad at people; Apocalypse should be the Kingpin of X-Men; Jean Grey is sick of your bullshit; you should totally cosplay Skids; and Mystique fundamentally misunderstands branding.
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which the Bronze Age begins; Dave Cockrum is your god now; the band gets together; Sunfire joins the team; cultural sensitivity is not Marvel’s strong suit; Sunfire quits the team; it sucks to be Cyclops; Professor X crosses a moral event horizon; Sunfire joins the team; Ed Brubaker channels Thomas Hardy; you are probably a Summers brother; and Sunfire quits the team.
X-Plained:
Bamf-Voltron Nightcrawler
Giant-Size X-Men #1
The worst hat of the Marvel Universe
The Mostly-New, Mostly-Different X-Men
A business-casual angry mob
The limits of creative good intentions
Tractor punching on the Ust-Ordynski Collective
The correct spelling of “fine”
Canada
Sunfire’s utter disdain for everything, including you
Krakoa: The Island That Walks Like a Man!
Characteristics of good X-fights
Yet another miracle of magnetism
X-Men: Deadly Genesis
Summers Family Continuity (Introductory)
More hats
The Muir-MacTaggert Research Facility
Summers Family Continuity (Intermediate)
The Charles Xavier Scale of Supervillainy
Relative immunity
Wolverine’s ubiquity
AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION:
What would you do with thirteen X-Men?
Help us find all-ages-friendly Marvel Girl stories!
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.