Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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173 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 2

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Abs-lantis will not be denied; “slightly traumatized” is basically the default state of Xavier’s original students; we pick up the slack for Nicieza; Banshee and Moira MacTaggert probably have an active and varied love life; Xavier miscounts the X-Men; we look back over the Claremont/Simonson era of the X-Universe; and Jay makes a case for the re-resurrection of Jean Grey.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Men: Red
  • Namor’s beard
  • The conclusion of the Muir Island Saga
  • Uncanny X-Men #280
  • X-Factor #70.
  • Cool orange spacesuits that make you immune to telepathy
  • Off-brand Magneto hats
  • Literary terrors of our childhoods
  • Agents DeMarco & Heacock (R.I.P.)
  • Casual use of nuclear weaponry
  • The cavalry
  • The end of the Shadow King
  • The most dysfunctional timeline
  • Uncanny X-Men #200-278
  • The case for an eclectic X-Universe
  • X-Campus
  • Resurrections, and when they do and don’t work

NEXT EPISODE: Ed Piskor’s Grand Design

The visual companion to this episode will be up sometime before the end of 2017, by which point Jay’s lungs will hopefully be working again. Yay?

(Seriously, though, fuck this cold. Fuck this cold so much.)

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 172 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 1

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
But what if his dialogue also had its OWN tiny captions? (Uncanny X-Men #278)
“And that one dude from Final Fight will help me!” (Uncanny X-Men #278)
But whom could this mysterious stranger be? (Uncanny X-Men #278)
LOOK AT THIS EVIL FASHION QUEEN (Uncanny X-Men #278)
There is nothing okay happening here. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
Here, on the other hand, everything is beautiful and nothing hurts. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
That’s not… I mean… you know what? Never mind. (Uncanny X-Men #278)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Uncanny X-Men #278)
Honestly, there are so many answers to that question. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
His other power is flashbacks. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
And with that, Chris Claremont flew off into space, to explore new horizons. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
Say what you want about her morals; Evil Rogue has a pretty rad costume. (Uncanny X-Men #279)
OH, HELL, YEAH! (Uncanny X-Men #279)
X-Factor’s New Wave era was brief but distinctive. (X-Factor #69)
It really never gets any more okay, does it? (No.) (X-Factor #69)
Why does Reisz suddenly have red hair? WHO KNOWS? IT’S A MYSTERY! (X-Factor #69)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (X-Factor #69)
The Art of War involves some remarkably specific ruminations on spandex. (X-Factor #69)
Wait for it… (X-Factor #69)
YES! (X-Factor #69)
Also 2017 in a nutshell. (X-Factor #69)
WELL, THAT CAN’T BE GOOD. (X-Factor #69)
NEXT EPISODE: Don’t smoke, kids. (Also, the Muir Island Saga concludes.)

LINKS & FURTHER READING

 

172 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 1

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you are probably more familiar with this show than Jay and Miles are; Paul Smith makes good art; the Shadow King is so extra that his narration has its own narration; Evil Sexy Moira is a fashion queen; there are absolutely no circumstances in which it is appropriate to use the phrase “fist-o-rama”; Legion gets possessed; and we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • Universes where people are other people
  • What Miles thought of Thor: Ragnorok (spoiler-free)
  • The Muir Island Saga (Part 1)
  • Uncanny X-Men #278-279
  • X-Factor #69
  • Teflon continuity
  • Our (lack of) favorite episodes of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
  • The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men wiki
  • An alternate timeline
  • Corpse telepathy
  • A diabolical plan, sort of
  • Topicality
  • Theft
  • Sci-Fi Warlord Moira MacTaggert
  • Improbable aerodynamics
  • The greatest thing
  • The death of Peter Nicholas
  • The uncanny genital valley
  • Interesting ways to expand Cyclops’s powers
  • X-Pokémon

NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga concludes!

ART CHALLENGE: Send us your horrifying X-Pokémon! (Note: We were not kidding when we said that we know absolutely nothing about Pokémon, which means that we will probably believe anything you tell us about canon. Have fun!)

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 171 – Badly Punctuated Equilibrium

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! https://xplainthexmen.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/X170.mp3
Domestic bliss, X-Factor-style. (X-Factor Forever #1)
Aw, this guy. (X-Factor Forever #1)
Timmy’s grandmother has good judgment. (X-Factor Forever #1)
“Hey, kids! Have some flechettes!” (X-Factor Forever #1)
Dang. Good job, Hank. (X-Factor Forever #1)
“I did, however, find myself some sweet new glasses.” (X-Factor Forever #1)
Every drawing of Apocalypse’s face in this series is utterly delightful. (X-Factor Forever #2)
When writers no-prize the art… (X-Factor Forever #2)
DAMNIT, TIMMY. (X-Factor Forever #2)
Happy birthday, Timmy, I guess? (X-Factor Forever #2)
Well, THAT can’t be good. (X-Factor Forever #3)
This series makes a fairly good case for both mutant rights and subsidized childcare. (X-Factor Forever #3)
How you know it’s serious business. (X-Factor Forever #3)
I love that they have named and numbered all of their special moves. (X-Factor Forever #3)
“Dude, we are literally holding up one of those children, right here, in front of you.” (X-Factor Forever #3)
Well, shit. (X-Factor Forever #3)
Aw, man, this cover is so fun. (X-Factor Forever #4)
If only your boss listened to Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men. (X-Factor Forever #4)
X-Factor, doing what they do best! (X-Factor Forever #4)
BUT WHY ARE THEY ALL DRESSED UP? (X-Factor Forever #4)
Can we all just take a moment to enjoy Sinister’s deeply goofy face in this panel? (X-Factor Forever #4)
“Who’s on first,” Summers family edition. (X-Factor Forever #4)
Seriously, it’s a great reaction image. (X-Factor Forever #4)
Pretty much any variation on this panel will always get me straight in the feels. (X-Factor Forever #4)
“I dunno. What if we just, like, lob a baby at him?” (X-Factor Forever #5)
I just really like this panel. (X-Factor Forever #5)
“You didn’t tell me this was a VACATION,” said Cyclops. (X-Factor Forever #5)
NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga, and the secret origins of this nonsense!

171 – Badly Punctuated Equilibrium

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which 1991 runs right into 2010, X-Factor: Endgame (and everything after it) never happened, Jay covets the hell out of Cyclops’s X-Factor: Forever jacket, Apocalypse’s alternative universe motives are actually pretty fascinating, and Miles will never call his junk Traitorous Unit.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Strucker siblings (and the Strucker siblings)
  • X-Factor Forever #1-5
  • Earth-TRN237
  • What makes a good Forever comic
  • The best jacket in the X-universe (and some other redesigns)
  • MaXimum pants
  • Ship the ship
  • The Celestial Host
  • Dan Panosian’s Smug Apocalypse
  • The Master Meld variations
  • Force versus heat (and art versus word balloons)
  • En Sabah Nur, thoughtful employer
  • Gammenon the Gatherer and honey-related implements
  • Combat (and podcasting) maneuver names
  • The Apocalypse Journal
  • Eternals versus Deviants versus Inferior, Shitty Humans
  • Slow, crappy science and adorable mutant rats
  • Mutant fertility
  • Arishem the Judge and his magic space-thumb
  • Definitive versions of characters and their relationships
  • En Sabah Nur and Your Changing Body
  • That time X-Factor threw a baby at a robot to save the world
  • DC Comics’s Hellfire Club
  • Trans X-Men
  • But no seriously that jacket

NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga, part 1

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 110 – Lights, Camera, Apocalypse!

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
We saw X-Men in the middle of a road trip the summer after our senior year of high school. Terrible vacation; fun movie.
X2: X-Men United is a very loose adaptation of one of our favorite X-Men stories: the Marvel Graphic Novel God Loves, Man Kills.
The less said about X-Men: The Last Stand, the better.
Jay can’t look at this X-Men: First Class poster without thinking of the Buckaroo Banzai end credits. It’s a blessing and a curse.
X-Men: Days of Future Past is one of the more ambitious retcons ever to grace the big screen.
X-Men: Apocalypse opens in the U.S. on May 27; and everywhere else at some point in the surrounding weeks.
Apocalypse’s on-panel debut… (X-Factor #5)
…and the first time we saw his signature costume. (X-Factor #6)
“Let’s adopt him and, I dunno, feed him scarab blood? Look, man, I’m making this up as I go along.” (Rise of Apocalypse #1)
Apocalypse’s true, diabolical plan, as realized in “The Twelve”: To capture a bunch of mutants and I guess put them in little terrariums? Apocalypse is a complicated guy. (Uncanny X-Men #377)
Apocalypse: Somehow actually more progressive than Doctor Who. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
The mechanics of Apocalypse’s body–and relative immortality–vary wildly from series to series. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
In the Age of Apocalypse, Apocalypse takes over Earth ahead of schedule and makes everything super glam. (X-Men: Alpha)
Deadpool may not be an X-Man, but his movie did feature the best version of the X-Men costumes to show up so far on screen.
NEXT WEEK: Excalibur joins Inferno!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

110 – Lights, Camera, Apocalypse!

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which the X-Men cinematic universe is a really mixed bag; Kang the Conqueror ruins everything; everyone wants a Sphinx hovercraft; Elle was right; and we bring you up to speed on all things En Sabah Nur–just in time for X-Men: Apocalypse!

X-PLAINED:

  • How Chamber got his torso back (and then lost it again)(twice)
  • Several ways to count X-Men movies
  • X-Men
  • X2: X-Men United
  • X-Men: The Last Stand
  • X-Men: First Class
  • X-Men: Days of Future Past
  • Adaptation anxiety
  • Distillation vs. dilution
  • Apocalypse (En Sabah Nur)
  • Rise of Apocalypse #1-4
  • Akkaba
  • Dubious survival tips
  • Fantastic Four #19
  • Doctor Strange #53
  • Ozymandias
  • Various horsemen of Apocalypse
  • Age of Apocalypse (Earth-295)
  • The Twelve
  • Cinematic X-costumes
  • Cast Party

NEXT WEEK: Excalibur joins Inferno!

CORRECTION: In this episode, Jay states that Kieran Shiach explained Kang in the Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts. It was, in fact, the amazing Paul O’Brien. Mea culpa.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 92 – Living in Ship

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Love, X-Factor style. (X-Factor #27)
Days later, Manhattan is flooded. (X-Factor #27)
“Everything was going really well for like five whole pages!” (X-Factor #27)
Jean, you knocked! You really have grown up! (X-Factor #27)
Aww, squishface. (X-Factor #27)
“And I was only a few days away from retirement…” (X-Factor #28)
Gotta catch ’em all. (X-Factor #28)
Aww, Hank… (X-Factor #28)
Check out that panel composition – this is how you do show-don’t-tell. (X-Factor #28)
Just sayin’. (X-Factor #28)
Okay, I just posted this one because of Scott’s amazing death-glare. “Damn it, Bobby, I’m the one who gets to do press conferences.” (X-Factor #29)
Nabbit. Whunk. (X-Factor #29)
Aww, Hank..! (X-Factor #29)
I can’t say I fully blame Infectia for monsterizing some of these jerks. (X-Factor #29)
Walter Simonson: master of making soap opera look Epic As Hell. (X-Factor #29)
Whoa. (X-Factor #30)
I mean, she’s kind of endearing in her awfulness, right? (X-Factor #30)
Bobby Drake: overcompensating. (X-Factor #30)
These panels could have come straight out of The Mighty Thor. (X-Factor #30)
Aww, crap, they’re holding hands – you know that means you guys are completely screwed, right? (X-Factor #30)
*cue laugh track* (X-Factor #31)
Well that’s terrifying. (X-Factor #31)
Louise and Walter Simonson do the best Destiny. (X-Factor #31)
Jeez, the USPS is way more hardcore than I thought. (X-Factor #31)
Well crap. (X-Factor #31)
Next time: Sorcerers’ Duel.

92 – Living in Ship

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which X-Factor loves press conferences, Archangel provides many opportunities for terrible puns, Cyclops gets to be happy for a whole five pages, X-Factor learns how doors work, the X-kids are generous (except Boom Boom), Infectia makes monsters to fight the patriarchy, Ship is your cool aunt, and Destiny accidentally predicts Cable.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • Apocalypse versus Ed Wood
  • X-Factor #27-31
  • Superhero mortality
  • Star-crossed mugger romance
  • Marvel Girl as, and not as, Team Mom
  • The greatest line in all of X-Factor
  • Ship’s anatomical resemblances
  • Combat and relationship discussion multitasking
  • X-Men Evolution Syndrome
  • Iceman as joker-by-necessity
  • Infectia and the Anti-Bodies
  • Rambo Nukes Commando In Nicaragua
  • Wacky sitcom humor
  • Warren Worthington, PI
  • Earth 13122 and LEGO optic blasts
  • Musical careers of the X-Men

NEXT WEEK: Magik versus Forge.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 57 – Apocalypse Soon

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Listen to the episode here!

Oh, this guy. (X-Factor #2)
As a side effect of her return from near-death, Jean can perfectly recall any outfit–except her own. (X-Factor #2)
“But at least I know how to put on my goddamn pants.” (X-Factor #2)
Oh, Vera, what have they done to you? (X-Factor #2)
“Trust me, this is in no way an allegory for any other situations in your life.” (X-Factor #2)
Walls are the real victims in Layton’s run. (X-Factor #2)
Why do thugs ever fall for that line? Seriously. (X-Factor #2)
It’s okay, Scott. We’re only a few issues away from Louise Simonson. (X-Factor #2)
X-Factor vs. yet another wall. (X-Factor #2)
Dr. Maddicks: kind of awful. (X-Factor #2)
In addition to being kind of a crap scientist, Carl Maddicks is a terrible parent. (X-Factor #3)
I was seriously considering having this entire as-mentioned just be X-Factor knocking down walls. (X-Factor #3)
Jean recognize her team’s signature move. (X-Factor #3)
Aaaaand there goes another wall. (X-Factor #3)
Scott and Jean finally have a talk about–wait, no, just kidding, they’re about to get interrupted by urgent news. (X-Factor #3)
AMAZING, Hank. AMAZING. (X-Factor #3)
LOOK AT THIS GLORIOUS COVER. (X-Factor Annual #1)
Wellp. (X-Factor Annual #1)
Thank you for that highly relevant footnote, comic book. (X-Factor Annual #1)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the underwear. (X-Factor Annual #1)
Headcanon: Heinreich has worked out a whole backstory for this secretary, and he’s really disappointed that he didn’t get to use more of it. (X-Factor Annual #1)
Serious question: is this the only time Bobby’s clothing transforms to ice along with him? DISCUSS. LEAVE NO STONE UNTURNED. (X-Factor Annual #1)
How come some of these people are wearing robot underpants and others are not? (X-Factor Annual #1)
The Crimson Dynamo is not, in fact, the Red Scare. UNFORTUNATELY. (X-Factor Annual #1)
But seriously, the mix-up is pretty understandable.
Iceman vs. Iceman! (X-Factor Annual #1)
Oh, for the love of… (X-Factor Annual #1)
They’re fighting Tower and knocking down a wall at the same time! Two drinks! (X-Factor #4)
Joanna Cargill is so awesome. SO. AWESOME. (X-Factor #4)
At least he put on pants this time? I guess? (X-Factor #4)
X-Factor: actually kind of terrible. (X-Factor #4)
In case you happened to be wondering where the original art from this page is, the answer is our office. (Thank you, Tom!) (X-Factor #4)
Does no one ever use doors in this comic? (X-Factor #4)
Best outfit, best character, worst attempt at a cliffhanger. Also, I’m pretty sure one of us used to have a Mage: The Ascension character named Time Shadow. (X-Factor #4)
“It’s like we were briefly allowed to evolve as characters but have since reverted to a social dynamic we had long since outgrown.” (X-Factor #5)
True Fact: If one of you had submitted this outfit for the plainclothes cosplay contest, you would have won, no questions asked. (X-Factor #5)
And there goes another wall. (X-Factor #5)
Frenzy has no patience for your sub-par command of Yiddish. (X-Factor #5)
The less-than-inspiring debut of one of the X-Men’s greatest villains. (X-Factor #5)
Many thanks to Bobby Roberts for 57 spectacular episodes of production, advice, and boundless patience. You are the best, and we love you forever. (Art by David Wynne.)
Next week: MINISERIES MAYHEM!