Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Warlock

82 – Birds and Boys

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Art by David Wynne.
Art by David Wynne.

 

In which Louise Simonson’s New Mutants run gets off to a rough start; drugs are not a reliable way to impress your space girlfriend; Magma gets a character arc; Tarot’s powers are kind of iffy; it’ll take more than a few illegal fish to stop Magik; and Bird Brain thoroughly fails to live up to his potential.

X-PLAINED:

  • Sunspot’s brushes with villainy
  • The de-aging of the New Mutants
  • New Mutants #55-58
  • A memorable dress
  • Raek
  • A cautionary tale
  • The New Mutants as a Saturday morning cartoon
  • Bird Boy / Bird Brain
  • June Brigman
  • A romantic dilemma
  • Several alternative foci for Tarot’s powers
  • Redemption and humanization of villains in X-books
  • Undignified birds
  • The best and worst of Bret Blevins
  • Non-comics writers we’d like to see write X-books
  • Other teen time travelers we’d add to All-New X-Men

NEXT WEEK: Live in Las Vegas!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’ll have prints of this week’s illustration up at our shop later this week. As always, you can contact David Wynne to inquire after the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 80 – For the Mutant Who Has Everything

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/1/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
I’d like to point out that when Wolverine gets drunk, he sings show tunes. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
That’s… that’s quite a look, Horde. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
Daaaaaaaaang. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
Dear Everyone Who Thought Wolverine and Storm Hooked Up Out of Nowhere Last Year,
NOPE.
Love, R&M
(Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
This is like a Highlights for Children “What is wrong with this picture” page, and the answer is “everything.” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
Havok really desperately needs a vacation. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
Every outfit on this page is amazing… (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
…but none of them are quite so amazing as this outfit. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
“You don’t do that! You don’t throw your skin at a person!” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
Statue of this now, please. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
The moment where it all went wrong. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
“I feel it! I feel the cosmos!” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
This is actually a pretty good single-panel primer for this X-team. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
Wait, WHAT?! (Uncanny X-Men Annual #11)
Doug. Doug, no. (New Mutants Annual #3)
Oh, hi. (New Mutants Annual #3)
Screw that Mxyzptlk jerk–the Impossible Man is where it’s at! (New Mutants Annual #3)
The Impossible Man X-Plains Uncanny X-Men Annual #7. (New Mutants Annual #3)
The whole issue in a nutshell. (New Mutants Annual #3)
Graduation costumes: definitely still terrible. (New Mutants Annual #3)
‘Kay. (New Mutants Annual #3)
That last panel, tho. (New Mutants Annual #3)
These goofballs. (New Mutants Annual #3)
WELL, THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY. (New Mutants Annual #3)
Game, set, and match. (New Mutants Annual #3)
There’s really no other way this issue could have ended. (New Mutants Annual #3)
We’re going to be guests at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival on November 7! Come say hi, buy cool stuff, and be part of our second-ever live episode!
The first episode of the Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts launches THIS THURSDAY, October 29, on FanBros! For more info, check out the announcement, and be sure to follow the Convergence on Twitter and Tumblr for host profiles, updates, and more!
NEXT WEEK: All-New X-Men, with Dennis Hopeless!

LINKS:

80 – For the Mutant Who Has Everything

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/1/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/1/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which we go back in time to take a look at two annuals; everyone is really excited about Excalibur; Claremont ups his illusion game; Horde should probably not be allowed to dress himself; Rachel fires the X-Men; Havok needs better role models; Psylocke’s secondary mutation is femme power; Kyle X-Plains giant monsters; we check in with Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau; and you should totally come see us at Vegas Valley Comic-Book Festival on November 7!

X-PLAINED:

  • Dazzler’s powers
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #11
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #7
  • New Mutants Annual #3
  • The Hostage, by Brendan Behan
  • Wolverine vs. Historical Fiction
  • Horde and his amazing outfit
  • The Citadel of light and shadow
  • The fantasy lives of X-Men
  • Things to do with a shed human skin
  • The secret origin of Wolverine’s overactive healing factor
  • The Impossible Man (and how to defeat him)
  • The Shogun Warriors
  • What happened to Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau
  • Powers we don’t like
  • Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival

NEXT EPISODE: All-New X-Men with Dennis Hopeless!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 77 – Die Hard with a Lobster

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/11/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Hope you like this narration, because you will be reading a LOT of variations on it. (Fallen Angels #1)
Expounding on the Meaning of Friendship and Then Turning into a Propellor Plane with a Face: The Warlock Story. (Fallen Angels #1)
Oh, Ariel. You’re so… Ariel. (Fallen Angels #2)
HI, GOMI. HI, DON AND BILL. (Fallen Angels #2)
It’s a Madrox Madrox Madrox Madrox world. (Fallen Angels #2)
Don’t mess with Bill and Don. They will fight you, and they will win. (Fallen Angels #2)
Oh. THAT guy. (Fallen Angels #2)
Don’t tell me you don’t want to hang out there. (Fallen Angels #3)
It’s hard to be a super-smart cyborg lobster. (Fallen Angels #3)
The nature of Madrox’s duplicates is going to change pretty radically between this and the present. (Fallen Angels #3)
EVEN AMONG CRUSTACEANS (Fallen Angels #3)
Do you know how hard much restraint we exercised in not making this entire post nothing but pictures of Bill and Don? HINT: A lot. (Fallen Angels #3)
Moon Boy and Devil Dinosaur are good kids. (Fallen Angels #4)
Gomi is a conscientious lobster dad. (Fallen Angels #4)
Ariel is kind of creepy. (Fallen Angels #5)
DON NO (Fallen Angels #5)
DONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Fallen Angels #5)
Aw, Madrox. Madroxes. Whatever. (Fallen Angels #6)
“Also, you know that dream about the–” “DUDE, ENOUGH.” (Fallen Angels #6)
Welcome to Coconut Grove! Hope you survive the… y’know. (Fallen Angels #6)
Somewhere there’s an alternate universe that’s just like 616 except that Bobby and Warlock wore these costumes for the rest of New Mutants. (Fallen Angels #7)
Aw, Boom Boom. =( (Fallen Angels #7)
DAMNIT, ARIEL, THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS. (Fallen Angels #7)
That time Warlock learned to love between two issues of a miniseries. (Fallen Angels #8)
YIPPEE-KI-YAY, MOTHERFUCKER. (Fallen Angels #8)
FOR DON! (Fallen Angels #8)
Devil Dinosaur: master diplomat. (Fallen Angels #8)
NEXT WEEK: Things get… Sinister.

 

77 – Die Hard With a Lobster

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/11/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 10/11/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which we relax our definition of X-book; we really want Sunspot to grow a mustache; Miles gets an excuse to say “shillelagh”; Bill the Lobster goes on a rampage; and Fallen Angels is really, really, really wonderful.

X-Plained:

  • Devil Dinosaur
  • Moon Boy
  • Fallen Angels #1-8
  • Jo Duffy
  • Assembling a team
  • Sunspot as a point-of-view character
  • Compassion as a superpower
  • Da Costa’s Devils vs. Ma Guthrie’s Gorillas
  • Goat Simulator
  • An unfortunate incident
  • Somewhat harsh student evaluations
  • The moral compass of Magnum, P.I.
  • Warlock and Sunspot as mutual foils
  • Chance
  • Ariel
  • Multiple Man (Jamie Madrox) and several notable duplicates
  • Siryn (Theresa Cassidy)
  • Gomi
  • Bill
  • Don
  • The Fallen Angels
  • The Vanisher
  • The Marvel Girl Fan Club
  • Lobster feelings
  • Kirby monsters
  • Doris Danger
  • Dinosaur World
  • Fallen Angels as a spiritual antecedent to Runaways
  • The tragic death of Don the Lobster
  • Fallen Angels II
  • How to party like Dr. Doom
  • Doom Patrol vs. X-Men

NEXT WEEK: A Sinister debut.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog! (Thanks for your patience!)

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 71 – The Once and Fuchsia King

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/30/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Spoiler: They will be back next issue. (New Mutants #51)
“If they’d learned anything from me, they’d be faking their own deaths!” (New Mutants #51)
DRAMA! (New Mutants #51)
No, the OTHER Plan Omega. (New Mutants #51)
Kevin Nowlan draws a rad Hepzibah. (New Mutants #51)
PROFESSOR XAVIER IS A JERK. (New Mutants #51)
“Well, I should probably see what the study group thinks, but I’m thinking fuchsia.” (New Mutants #51)
Sebastian Shaw takes dress codes seriously. (New Mutants #51)
She even LOOKS like she stepped off a power metal album cover. (New Mutants #52)
HE’S NOT WRONG. (New Mutants #52)
Aw, kiddo. (New Mutants #52)
Fighting xenomorphs, from the look of it. (New Mutants #52)
Love the body language on this page. (New Mutants #52)
We keep saying that this whole era feels like an inexorable escalation toward Inferno, and, yeah. That. (New Mutants #52)
I was gonna make a “subtext: not just for the ladies” joke, but I’m pretty sure it’s just text at this point. (New Mutants #53)
Aw, man. (New Mutants #53)
TWIST! Don’t worry, this’ll come back up eventually. (New Mutants #53)
“…But can you take them anywhere?” Spoiler: NO. No, you can’t. (New Mutants #53)
Magik intimidating Empath is the gift that keeps on giving. (New Mutants #53)
Make good choices, Cypher! (New Mutants #53)
Or, y’know, not. (New Mutants #53)
Sam Guthrie: Everyone’s best big brother. (New Mutants #54)
“I love you, but I have to leave the team because your costumes are SO BAD.” (New Mutants #54)
SO, THAT HAPPENED. (New Mutants #54)
Has anyone else noticed that Doug’s superhero career is basically a series of dress rehearsals for his eventual death. (New Mutants #54)
I genuinely can’t tell if this is a good burn or not: on one hand, the New Mutants’ costumes are objectively way worse; but on the other hand, the Hellions’ costumes are way more circus-y. (New Mutants #54)
NEXT WEEK: It’s hard to be Havok.

LINKS:

  • If you’re curious about the Starjammers, go listen to Episode 7 – Cyclops Has a Good Day, in which we discuss them at length with Greg Rucka.
  • The podcast where two dudes watch and review Grown Ups 2 every week is an actual, real thing, which you can listen to here.

71 – The Once and Fuchsia King

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/30/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/30/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which the New Mutants return from space; Professor Xavier ruins everything; Magneto is the Craig Pelton of X-Men; Cypher carouses shamefully with Hellfire tramps; Karma quits the team; and we wrap up Chris Claremont’s New Mutants run.

X-PLAINED:

  • Leong and Nga Coy Manh
  • New Mutants #51-54
  • The Starjammers (again)
  • The paradox of Professor X
  • Several dramatic speeches
  • The Hellfire Club for Creative Anachronism
  • Plan Omega (but not that one)
  • A fairly epic dress-code violation
  • Magik vs. Limbo
  • A very specific bit of fancasting
  • Best Magneto
  • What X-fans (may or may not) live for
  • A well-wrought nightmare
  • Hellion disambiguation
  • Doug Ramsey’s Fancy Hair
  • New Mutants X Frank Zappa
  • Wacky teen hijinks at the Hellfire Club
  • Carousing shamefully with Hellfire tramps
  • A heroic challenge
  • A counterintuitive heart’s desire
  • Claremont’s New Mutants run.
  • Libraries
  • Emma Frost’s accent
  • The sounds of blastin’

NEXT WEEK: It’s hard to be Havok.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 67 – Shadow of the Technarch

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/2/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
And that’s why you always leave a note. (New Mutants #47)
This jerk. (New Mutants #47)
Meet Sad Darin Morgan Magneto. Next issue, he’ll be bathing his corgi. (New Mutants #47)
For the record: We ran this page by Jamie from the British History Podcast, and he says Robert the Bruce’s outfit is super bullshit (but he said it more eloquently). (New Mutants #47)
What. (New Mutants #47)
Robert the Bruce was kind of a shallow dude. (New Mutants #47)
WHAT. (New Mutants #47)
This raises some questions. (New Mutants #48)
Future Mirage is METAL AS HELL. (New Mutants #48)
More Sad Darin Morgan Magneto. (New Mutants #48)
Note that even in a dark dystopian future, neither Sam nor Dani is desperate enough to wear those awful graduation costumes. (New Mutants #48)
I seriously want to write a one-shot about this Sentinel. MARVEL: CALL ME. (New Mutants #48)
FIGHT THE FUTURE. (New Mutants #48)
Hint: It’s the friend who can turn into a sinister-looking silhouette. (New Mutants #49)
Are they, though? Really? (New Mutants #49)
Katie Power: More badass than you at any age. (New Mutants #49)
There’s no such thing as a happy Magneto flashback. (New Mutants #49)
Did they just not notice the cover? (New Mutants #49)
Whoadang. (New Mutants #50)
Know how we keep talking about Inferno? This is where it starts. This scene. Right here. (New Mutants #50)
This scene is everything. (New Mutants #50)
You’re a good kid, Illyana. (New Mutants #50)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (New Mutants #50)
Peak Magma. (New Mutants #50)
HACK THE PLANET! (New Mutants #50)
The first appearance of Karma’s codename. (Marvel Team-Up #100)
NEXT WEEK: Basically “The Most Dangerous Game”

LINKS:

As Mentioned in Episode 65 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 1

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/19/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
And so it begins. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Dazzler vs. Dazzler. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
We’d make a joke about taking a drink for every X-Men/X-Factor near miss, but you’d die of alcohol poisoning before the end of the crossover. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Aw, Colossus. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Not sure why Alanis Morisette didn’t bring this up in “Ironic.” (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Good job Kitty. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Well, damn. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
There’s something really unsettlingly cheery and Silver-Age about this page. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
No idea who the purple individual is, which is a shame, because they seem awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
STORM, NO! DON’T SPLIT THE PARTY! (Uncanny X-Men #211)
Whoa. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
This is the closest they’ll come to an actual conversation until Inferno. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
Whoops. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
So, THAT happened. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
SO, THAT HAPPENED. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
Dani Moonstar’s powers are METAL AS FUCK. (New Mutants #46)
“My powers are limited to the counterculture.” (New Mutants #46)
Powerlessness and the sense of being able to accomplish too little too late are pervasive themes in the Mutant Massacre. (New Mutants #46)
Everything’s sadder when teenagers are reacting to it. (New Mutants #46)
Well, shit. (New Mutants #46)
How have they not learned to listen to Doug by now? He is ALWAYS RIGHT. (New Mutants #46)
Cold, Wolverine. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
In her defense, everything is in fact well and truly fucked. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
And again. See what I meant about the alcohol-poisoning thing? (Uncanny X-Men #212)
You can, however, take a drink when Storm takes off her clothes for no clear reason. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
First mention of the man with the plan! (Uncanny X-Men #212)
Well done, Wolverine! (Uncanny X-Men #212)
I don’t care who you are: Callisto is better at leadership than you. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
It’s cool. It’s just Thor; we’ll be covering that stuff next episode. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
Psylocke’s psychic projection is adorable and also super creepy. (Uncanny X-Men #213)
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Uncanny X-Men #213)
Betsy Braddock is hardcore. (Uncanny X-Men #213)
Two classic Claremontisms… (Uncanny X-Men #213)
…on a single page. (Uncanny X-Men #213)
Damn, Psylocke. (Uncanny X-Men #213)
How much do we love Psylocke’s totally femme-princess superhero costume? SO MUCH. (Uncanny X-Men #213)
Next Week: The Mutant Massacre, Part 2!

If you want to follow along with the crossover, you can find a guide to the reading order–and how we’re dividing it between episodes–here.

 

65 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 1

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/19/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/19/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which we hit the first big X-centric crossover; a lot of Morlocks die; X-Factor is a dark farce; Kitty Pryde talks down a mob without using racial slurs; when Doug Ramsey tells you there’s a problem, you listen; and Callisto should be one of the iconic leaders of the Marvel Universe.

X-PLAINED:

  • Death by intellectual-property dispute
  • The Mutant Massacre
  • Mutant Massacres that might have been
  • Uncanny X-Men #210-213
  • New Mutants #46
  • The Marauders
  • The best way to guarantee the New Mutants’ involvement in a storyline
  • Limbo fashion
  • The responsibility of leadership
  • Wolverine vs. Sabretooth
  • Psylocke vs. Sabretooth
  • The evolution of crossovers
  • Characters we’d like to see more of post-Secret Wars

NEXT WEEK: The Mutant Massacre, Part 2!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!