Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Warlock

As Mentioned in Episode 117 – How to Pee Like a Supervillain

7 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Babies, amirite? (New Mutants #74)
At least we know from a previous panel that they’ve both already washed their hands. (New Mutants #74)
IT’S CANON: No fighting in the Hellfire Club bathrooms. (New X-Men #142)
Warlock is adorable and Ship is adorable and everything is adorable. (New Mutants #74)
This cannot end anything but well. (New Mutants #74)
“Have you learned nothing about foreshadowing crossover events?” (New Mutants #75)
“We’re gonna go hang out with Namor! He’d never start a war!” (New Mutants #75)
I want to go to school on Ship. (New Mutants #76)
Possibly the purest distillation of Doctor Doom as a character. (Spidey Super Stories #53)
Boom Boom, like Doom, does what she wants. (New Mutants #76)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (New Mutants #76)
This man is unflaggingly delightful. (New Mutants #76)
“Again?” (New Mutants #76)
NOPE. (New Mutants #76)
(2 of 2) (Astonishing X-Men #12)
NEXT EPISODE: Trolls!

 

117 – How to Pee Like a Supervillain

36 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Gossamyr definitely probably doesn’t get blown up; we engage in a long and surprisingly canon-based exploration of Hellfire Club bathroom etiquette; the New Mutants break up with Magneto; you should probably never go swimming in the Marvel Universe; and it is possible (but unlikely) that Jay yells “IMPERIUS REX” more than is strictly necessary.

X-PLAINED

  • New Son/New Sun
  • Post-Inferno New Mutants
  • New Mutants #74-76
  • Babies
  • Ship shipping
  • Inanimate objects Warlock has attempted to befriend
  • Hellfire Club bathroom etiquette
  • A long-anticipated showdown
  • Magneto’s on-again-off-again children
  • The Mutant Wars
  • The Grey King (but not The Grey King)
  • Undersea creatures that have no business near New York
  • An Atlantean artificat of dubious provenance
  • How to deter a giant and possibly supernatural octopus
  • Recycled powers
  • Friendly sentinels

NOTE: The Dispossessed is in fact by Ursula K. Le Guin.

NEXT EPISODE: Trolls!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 107 – Fairy Tale Ending

4 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
He’s not wrong; he’s just an asshole. (New Mutants #71)
Aw, kiddo. (New Mutants #71)
There’s a lot of more overtly awful stuff S’ym has done, but very little of it gets under my skin as badly as this scene. (New Mutants #71)
Brett Blevins’ Inferno might be the best Inferno. (New Mutants #71)
WELL, THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY. (New Mutants #71)
N’astirh Guy(TM) (New Mutants #71)
Nothing that begins with this line ever ends well. (New Mutants #71)
Okay. This looks bad. (New Mutants #71)
On its own, this is a perfectly serviceable cover; but it’s also a subtle and pretty brutal nod to the last issue of the Magik miniseries. (New Mutants #72)
Possibly the most metal title page to ever appear in an X-book. (New Mutants #72)
Calling it: Blevins’s is my hands-down favorite take on Inferno-infested New York. (New Mutants #72)
GAH. (New Mutants #72)
And now, a brief and delightful respite from the tragedy playing out in the A plot. (New Mutants #72)
Savor this moment: it’s not often you get to see New Mutants making a responsible choice! (New Mutants #72)
WELL, THEN. (New Mutants #72)
N’astirh levels up… (New Mutants #72)
…But so does Illyana. (New Mutants #72)
Death of Supergirl homage cover. Take a drink. (New Mutants #73)
T-O S’ym is so creepy, y’all. (New Mutants #73)
THERE ARE NOT ADEQUATE WORDS FOR HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS PAGE. (New Mutants #73)
That Colossus makes room in his rather minimal uniform for a photo wallet is kind of adorable an very much in character. (New Mutants #73)
“And that’s what you get for teaching new math!” (New Mutants #73)
We didn’t think of this until after the episode was recorded, but Illyana’s final armored form bears a lot of resemblance to her brother’s. (New Mutants #73)
This dude is pretty great. (New Mutants #73)
The Darkchilde in her final form. (New Mutants #73)
And so it ends… (New Mutants #73)
…or does it? (New Mutants #73)
“Or stick around in the background and then die of the Legacy Virus and come back like 20 years later without a soul. The point is, you’ve got options.” (New Mutants #73)
NEXT WEEK: The rise of the Goblin Queen.

LINKS AND FURTHER LISTENING:

107 – Fairy Tale Ending

39 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which everyone’s got Inferno issues; Brett Blevins makes it work; Belasco is conspicuously absent from Inferno; you should never go into Hell barefoot; the greatest X-Men stories are about loss; and Illyana Rasputin finally gets a fairy tale ending.

X-PLAINED

  • Tempus (Eva Bell)
  • Storm and Illyana: Magik #1-4 (briefly)
  • The two major Inferno plotlines
  • New Mutants #71-73
  • The best of Brett Blevins
  • The rise and fall of Magik
  • The ethics of time-travel interventions
  • A weaponized retcon
  • N’astirh Guy™
  • A chair that is also a moral event horizon
  • A significant soul-armor upgrade
  • Several variations on a chapter title
  • Possessed New York
  • An overly complex conspiracy theory
  • A bittersweet reunion
  • The Kobayashi Maru scenario as applied to X-Men
  • An even more bittersweet victory (of sorts)
  • The eventual return of Magik (sort of)
  • Why it’s really irresponsible to affiliate your school with a superhero team
  • Our favorite versions of Wolfsbane’s transitional form

NEXT WEEK:

The Rise of the Goblin Queen!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 96 – Horsemen of the Playground

4 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
How you know a psychic event is a big deal: the cross-franchise reaction montage! (X-Factor Annual #3)
Well, that’s certainly one way to stage an intervention. (X-Factor Annual #3)
These delightful scamps. (X-Factor Annual #3)
Warlock, never change. (New Mutants Annual #4)
Can we have a moment of rapt silence for how well June Brigman draws body language? (New Mutants Annual #4)
The High Evolutionary’s head scientist, Stack, appears to be dual-wielding a cane and a staple gun. Because, evolution. (New Mutants Annual #4)
“On Wednesdays, we wear pink.” (New Mutants Annual #4)
Hell, yeah, equal-opportunity battle lingerie! (Well, except for Magneto, but he marches to the beat of his own fuchsia drum.) (New Mutants Annual #4)
Horses: totally the worst. (New Mutants Annual #4)
The scene that blew tiny Miles’s tiny mind. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
Man, if we had a dollar for every time that happened… (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
POIT: Definitely the cutest sound effect. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
In which Alex comes *this close* to the realization that Charles Xavier is totally a supervillain. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
SURE, WHY NOT? (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
Remember the time Storm had adventures on pirate space city on the back of a flying wolf? Because that was definitely a thing that actually happened. (Classic X-Men #22)
Oh, THAT guy. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
I’m not actually certain they ever followed up on this. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
It’s kind of a shame this logo didn’t stick around, because it’s pretty sweet. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
NEXT EPISODE: Captain Britain!

96 – Horsemen of the Playground

63 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which we play Evolutionary War Mad-Libs; it’s probably a bad sign when Apocalypse decides you need an intervention; Dani is (briefly) the new Doug; horses are jerks; it’s probably really dangerous to be Longshot; Storm has the coolest friends; the High Evolutionary is very high indeed; and we make a (very token) nod to Valentine’s Day.

X-PLAINED:

  • Secret Origins of the High Evolutionary
  • Evolutionary War
  • The actual history of eugenics in America
  • X-Factor Annual #3
  • New Mutants Annual #4
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #12
  • Classic X-Men #22
  • Purifiers (but not those purifiers)
  • Stack
  • Purge
  • How to tell when an event has major psychic repercussions
  • A Silver-Age callback
  • An Apocalypse-style intervention
  • Toga Steve (Val-Or)
  • The return of Bulk and Glow Worm
  • Equal-opportunity Hellfire lingerie
  • Mirage’s power upgrade
  • Miles vs. puberty vs. Uncanny X-Men
  • The coolest civilization ever
  • Colossus’s illegitimate kid
  • The cutest sound effect
  • Origins of the Scott/Jean/Logan love triangle
  • Stuff Jay likes and Miles doesn’t
  • The Elle Collins Theory of Podcast Roles

NEXT EPISODE: Captain Britain!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints (or travel mugs) of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

93 – The Discreet Charm of the Brood

21 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which airplanes are really dangerous if you’re a mutant, Magik remembers that time she dreamed about remembering a dream, those who live by mystically bad judgment die by mystically bad judgment, It’s Always Mystique (TM), and everything leads to Inferno.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • Forge’s moral compass
  • New Mutants #62-63 and #65-66
  • Empath and irredeemable vs. sympathetic villains
  • Magical postal eagles
  • Nova Roma
  • Jag-u-ars
  • Art as era signifier
  • Time travel nightmare logic
  • Sharpiemancy
  • The “last” Brood
  • Jerk headmasters who won’t even let you commit murder
  • A long-awaited roomie reunion
  • Bret Blevins’s mad Limbo skillz
  • Claremont / Simonson character maturity equilibrium
  • Astrally furry pants
  • Loyalty to the living versus loyalty to the dead
  • The Ultimate Darkchilde
  • Wolverine’s surprisingly non-metallic teeth
  • Partying with the New Mutants

NEXT WEEK: Pryde of the X-Men.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told

8 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
The vaguely slapstick motifs in this story somehow make it even sadder. (New Mutants #64)
And it really only gets more depressing from here. (New Mutants #64)
No, seriously. (New Mutants #64)
Everything is terrible forever. (New Mutants #64)
=( (New Mutants #64)
Yeah, we do not have a sassy caption for this. Sorry. (New Mutants #64)
Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #64)
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
Harder than fighting Sentinels, apparently. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
“It’s four hours of me, a vacuum cleaner, and a theremin.” (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
The X-Men take costume parties REALLY DAMN SERIOUSLY. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
“Also, that is literally one of the only two non-uniform outfits you own.” (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
How not to lay out a page for coherent reading order. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
SO THEN THAT HAPPENED. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
And they all lived happily ever after. THE END! (But Doug Ramsey was still dead.) (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)

91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told

39 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which New Mutants #64 is the saddest single issue of any X-book ever; the New Mutants have to grow up fast; Warlock comes to terms with mortality; The Last of Us is harder to play the second time; Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade is delightfully unhinged; animated Cyclops is totally the worst; Beast probably has a terrible garage band; Jean starts a kitchen fire; and Wolverine saves Jubilee’s birthday.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • The saddest issue ever
  • New Mutants #64
  • The only okay way to watch Grave of the Fireflies
  • The aftermath of Doug Ramsey’s death
  • Several unhealthy coping mechanisms
  • The Last of Us
  • Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade
  • Some varyingly impressive costumes
  • General irresponsibility
  • Why Wolverine is wearing a clown suit
  • Douglock
  • The New Mutants’ D&D alignments

NEXT WEEK: You never forget your first Ship.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 87 – It’s Always Darkest…

2 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Don’t get too attached to these guys. (New Mutants #59)
Roll for initiative! (New Mutants #59)
Lookit this E.C. lookin’ jerk! (New Mutants #59)
Truth. (New Mutants #59)
Seriously, the Ani-mator is so creepy. (New Mutants #60)
Or you could just–you know what? Never mind. Forget it. Freakin’ teenagers. (New Mutants #60)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (New Mutants #60)
Oh, THAT guy. (New Mutants #60)
How many times has he done this so far? Two? Three? (New Mutants #60)
Well, fuck. (New Mutants #60)
Well, fuck. (New Mutants #60)
Later, she justifies this by saying that it’s what Doug would have wanted, which seems questionable. (New Mutants #60)
Meanwhile, in the other 2/3 of the event… (New Mutants #61)
Even horses, Warlock. (New Mutants #61)
Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #61)
Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #61)
It really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really sucks to be New Mutants-era Magneto. (New Mutants #61)
And to add insult to injury, somehow the graduation costumes got even worse. (New Mutants #61)
NEXT WEEK: The Fall of the Mutants concludes with X-Factor!