Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Val Cooper

208 – The X-Patriots

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which nobody wears the pants in the X-Plain family; Havok is a remarkably okay boss; Polaris may want to find a new doctor; Quicksilver has no time for your nonsense; we are very conditionally okay with resurrections; and if you spoil Season 5 of Steven Universe for Miles, we will never ever ever forgive you.

X-PLAINED:

  • Jay & Miles at FlameCon
  • Advantages of recording remotely
  • X-Factor #81-83
  • What Genosha’s been up to
  • Prodigal
  • An impassioned speech
  • An unfortunate accident
  • Yet another return(ish) of Sauron
  • Chain of command
  • Lukas
  • Pirouette
  • Yet another justification for the name of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
  • Phantazia (again)
  • Immovable vs. unstoppable
  • What you do on a boat
  • Taylor
  • When Havok still cared
  • “The Mutant Rap”
  • Adventures in New York
  • How to bond with Quicksilver
  • An angry mob
  • A derailed storyline
  • The ignominious death of Rick Chalker
  • Our opinions on the revolving door of death
  • X-Men vs. electronics
  • Superheroes from the Balkans
  • Theoretical X-Men and Steven Universe team-ups

NEXT EPISODE: X-Editor Jordan D. White!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 199 – Space, Geeks, and Gaveedra Seven

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
It’s weird, but it could be SO MUCH WEIRDER. (X-Men Annual #1)
These two really have their battle banter down to a science. (X-Men Annual #1)
Well, this is awkward in retrospect. (X-Men Annual #1)
Hi, Retrieval Team. (X-Men Annual #1)
Again: I want these characters to be SO MUCH WEIRDER. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #16)
Stop trying to make “bohunk” happen. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #16)
GOOD LORD JOE QUESADA DRAWS A TERRIFYING MOJO (Uncanny X-Men Annual #16)
This comic does not include a countdown of enemies, but if it did, #1 would definitely be condiments. (X-Factor Annual #7)
This actually explains a depressing lot about Mojoworld. (X-Factor Annual #7)
SPIRAL IS SO COOL. (X-Factor Annual #7)
Spiral X-Plains Spiral, Part 1. (X-Factor Annual #7)
Spiral X-Plains Spiral, Part 2. (X-Factor Annual #7)
Okay, getting marginally weirder, but still not quite there. (X-Force Annual #1)
You can tell he’s a big deal now because he wears his hair down. (X-Force Annual #1)
I just realized that the good Spineless Ones are named after Borscht Belt comedians. (X-Force Annual #1)
Behind every Facebook meme about positivity is this panel. (X-Force Annual #1)
Powerpax! (X-Force Annual #1)
Darkchild! (X-Force Annual #1)
Banshee! (X-Force Annual #1)
Cyberlock! (X-Force Annual #1)
Sunspot, but with a mullet! (X-Force Annual #1)
You’d think a guy who grew up on a media-saturated world would know better than to trust an administrator in a fancy hat. (X-Force Annual #1)
Kill your television. (X-Force Annual #1)
I feel really good about the fact that Longshot aged into Estelle Getty. (X-Force Annual #1)
Ignore these blueprints; they will never be followed consistently. (X-Men Annual #1)
SELF-FRIEND (X-Men Annual #1)
Remember the good ol’ days, when comics NEVER dabbled in politics or even direct allegory? *snort* (X-Men Annual #1)
“I can also cross over with DC properties, but that’s not really gonna be on the table for a while.” (Uncanny X-Men Annual #16)
Val Cooper’s subconscious is an appropriately frightening place. (X-Factor Annual #7)
NOPE. (X-Factor Annual #7)
Taki! We missed you! (X-Force Annual #1)
We’re only posting one of the many pin-ups; but DANG, it’s a good one. (X-Force Annual #1)
NEXT EPISODE: Louise Simonson!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

199 – Space, Geeks, and Gaveedra Seven

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Shattershot is definitely better than the Cold War; Beast X-plains the X-teams; Cyclops is a tired babysitter; sustenance is not frivolous; Jim Henson is the hero that Mojoworld needs; Shatterstar is not a great head of state; it’s hard to be Val Cooper; and Cable has definitely figured out how to take you (yes, YOU) out.

X-PLAINED:

  • Astra
  • Content-to-story ratio
  • The Mojoverse (more) (again)
  • Longshot
  • Shatterstar (Gaveedra Seven)
  • Spiral (Ricochet Rita)
  • Arize
  • X-Men Annual #1
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #16
  • X-Factor Annual #10
  • X-Force Annual #1
  • A pivotal battle
  • Mujahideen
  • A callback
  • Several denizens of Mojoworld
  • X-Team disambiguation
  • The Death Sponsors
  • A dubious solution to the Kobayashi Maru scenario
  • Whether Arize is a mutant
  • Telepathic favoritism
  • Spiral’s origin story
  • A new regime
  • Earth-84309
  • Powerpax (Frankie Power)
  • Darkchild
  • Cyberlock
  • A metasingularity
  • A large number of back-up features
  • The X-Men’s top ten enemies
  • Amalgam (but not that one)
  • Darick Robertson’s juvenilia
  • The return of Taki
  • The Cable Protocols
  • Brazilian Marvel characters
  • Our feelings about Laura Kinney’s backstory

NEXT EPISODE: Louise Simonson

CORRECTION: BonziBuddy was not released until 1999. We regret the error.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 184 – Sweetcakes

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Listen to the episode here!

 

For all its flaws, this arc has its moments. Here is one of them. (The Incredible Hulk #390)
Also, let’s all take a moment to admire Rick Jones’s impeccable early-’90s fashion sense. (The Incredible Hulk #390)
And good times were had by all. (The Incredible Hulk #391)
One more Rick Jones fashion moment for the road. (The Incredible Hulk #391)
That’s kind of ingenious, actually. (The Incredible Hulk #391)
Welcome to the deeply depressing main event. (X-Factor #76)
“You can tell, because of his mustache.” (X-Factor #76)
You’d think gods would have less generic armor. (X-Factor #76)
And then Rahne did some killing. (X-Factor #76)
There is literally no good reason to have this in the story; but then, there’s literally no good reason for most of this story. (The Incredible Hulk #391)
“Good talk! So, back to paternalistic interference?” (The Incredible Hulk #392)
How does that… Why would you even… (The Incredible Hulk #392)
That panel in the middle, tho. (The Incredible Hulk #392)
Larry Stroman is back, and everything will be okay, except I guess for a lot of things, because this is a superhero comic. But still! Larry Stroman is back! (X-Factor #77)
Remember that time the Mutant Liberation Front looked legitimately and ironically awesome? Because that happened. (X-Factor #77)
At least Vic Chalker died as he lived: in a large robot suit. (X-Factor #77)
Not technically the most dangerous game, but definitely not recommended. (X-Factor #77)
RAHNE’S HAIR IS SO COOL (X-Factor #77)
X-Factor’s modular uniforms are really rad. Good job, Val. (X-Factor #78)
Know what else is rad? Tempo. Tempo is rad as hell and deserves so much better than the MLF. (X-Factor #78)
Maybe this is the explanation for everyone’s weird eye spots? (X-Factor #78)
[Insert canned laughter here.] (X-Factor #78)
Ouch. (X-Factor #78)
NEXT EPISODE: Tom Taylor and the true meaning of friendship!

184 – Sweetcakes

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David is still on vacation. Please enjoy this reasonable gentleman and his fancy accoutrements!

In which the 616 was inside Age of X all along; everyone is very sassy; an attempt at political commentary falls very flat; Wolfsbane kills a straw man; everything is better with Larry Stroman; the Rule of Cool is not transitive; X-Factor Quicksilver is the best Quicksilver; and some allegories are subtler than others.

X-PLAINED:

  • How to hide a universe
  • Bees
  • “War and Pieces”
  • X-Factor #76-78
  • The Incredible Hulk #390-392
  • Open-ended vs. trade pacing
  • Rick Jones, professional tag-along
  • Trans-Sabal
  • The Eisenhower Doctrine
  • The Reagan Doctrine
  • The ethics of cannibalism
  • Fictional pigeon aficionados
  • As story that isn’t about abortion but is definitely about abortion
  • X-Factor vs. due process
  • A very hazardous game of tug-of-war
  • Gratuitous X-planation
  • An unnecessary but well-intended rescue attempt
  • The death of Vic Chalker
  • Irresponsible parenting
  • The second generation of mutants

NEXT EPISODE: Tom Taylor talks X-Men Red and All-New Wolverine!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

173 – The Muir Island Saga, Part 2

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Abs-lantis will not be denied; “slightly traumatized” is basically the default state of Xavier’s original students; we pick up the slack for Nicieza; Banshee and Moira MacTaggert probably have an active and varied love life; Xavier miscounts the X-Men; we look back over the Claremont/Simonson era of the X-Universe; and Jay makes a case for the re-resurrection of Jean Grey.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Men: Red
  • Namor’s beard
  • The conclusion of the Muir Island Saga
  • Uncanny X-Men #280
  • X-Factor #70.
  • Cool orange spacesuits that make you immune to telepathy
  • Off-brand Magneto hats
  • Literary terrors of our childhoods
  • Agents DeMarco & Heacock (R.I.P.)
  • Casual use of nuclear weaponry
  • The cavalry
  • The end of the Shadow King
  • The most dysfunctional timeline
  • Uncanny X-Men #200-278
  • The case for an eclectic X-Universe
  • X-Campus
  • Resurrections, and when they do and don’t work

NEXT EPISODE: Ed Piskor’s Grand Design

The visual companion to this episode will be up sometime before the end of 2017, by which point Jay’s lungs will hopefully be working again. Yay?

(Seriously, though, fuck this cold. Fuck this cold so much.)

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 157 – Melted to Slag

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
I’m trying to imagine the Punisher in a bunch of different man-on-the-street segments, and it’s never not funny. (Uncanny X-Men #272)
Dramatis Personae and their dramatic wigs. (Uncanny X-Men #272)
Oh, dear. (Uncanny X-Men #272)
“Also, Nightcrawler had a ghost friend briefly.” (Uncanny X-Men #272)
One of Hodge’s more pronounced Mojo moments. (Uncanny X-Men #272)
Okay, that’s legitimately impressive. (Uncanny X-Men #272)
[Insert Rocketeer reference here.] (Uncanny X-Men #272)
MIND, SPIRIT, and BODY! (Uncanny X-Men #272)
Seriously, though, how is Wolverine’s mask staying on? Discuss. (New Mutants #97)
‘Kay. (New Mutants #97)
Zowie! (New Mutants #97)
Scary Rahne is so good. (New Mutants #97)
“Topless Havok will lead us to victory!” (X-Factor #62)
Included for scale, mostly. (X-Factor #62)
Neither of you deserve her. (X-Factor #62)
Wonder Twins Powers, go! (X-Factor #62)
Damn, that’s satisfying. (X-Factor #62)
That, too. (X-Factor #62)
Spoiler: It’s the second one. (X-Factor #62)
NEXT EPISODE: Jay and Miles take a three-month hiatus. See you in August!

157 – Melted to Slag

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Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

In which the X-Tinction Agenda reaches its Return of the Jedi; Wolverine is a weaponized nuisance; HR would like a word with Gambit; Havok gets framed; Cameron Hodge is the great unifier; Genosha is revolting; you don’t get to make a threatening speech about someone else’s powers; Jean Grey is tired of your bullshit; and Jay and Miles may or may not dive into the Siege Perilous!

X-PLAINED:

  • The Law of Conservation of Plot Elements
  • Uncanny X-Men #272
  • New Mutants #97
  • X-Factor #62
  • The Story So Far
  • Glasses fashions in comics
  • The difference between Batman and the Punisher
  • How to tell that something has gone terribly wrong
  • Acceptable pants
  • Some really sketchy judicial process
  • A ruse
  • Several retcons concerning Wolverine
  • Consequence-free impaling
  • Chekhov’s genetic engineering
  • Louise Simonson’s final issue of New Mutants
  • The relative durability of mutants
  • A number of prescient threats
  • This one time Jay and Miles got paid to throw a bunch of printers down a flight of stairs
  • Summers Brothers team-ups
  • A very cathartic fight
  • Thoughts on books as physical artifacts and collecting comics
  • Places to jump into long X-series on Marvel Unlimited
  • Our plans for the hiatus

THE PODCAST WILL BE ON HIATUS DURING MAY, JUNE, AND JULY, 2017! SEE YOU IN AUGUST!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 156 – Genosha Strikes Back

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!
Just in case you’ve forgotten since last week! (Uncanny X-Men #271)
Here, have some New Mutants, while we’re at it. (Uncanny X-Men #271)
The Technicolor Knight Returns! (Uncanny X-Men #271)
When even Evil!Sexy Moira has better scientific ethics than you, you’ve got some thinking to do, Moreau. (Uncanny X-Men #271)
“I mean, I know I played a central role in subjugating an entire people and subjecting them to unspeakable horrors, but sometimes I felt kinda bad about it!” (Uncanny X-Men #271)
She’s not wrong, dude. (Uncanny X-Men #271)
Awk-ward. (Uncanny X-Men #271)
Ahhh, THERE it is! (Uncanny X-Men #271)
Spoiler: Nah. (Uncanny X-Men #271)
Liefeld kick! Take a drink! (New Mutants #96)
“Also can I draw on her face with a sharpie?” (New Mutants #96)
When threatened, the wild Jubilee will fan out her tail in a display meant to intimidate predators. (New Mutants #96)
Jean’s face, tho. “Ugh, AGAIN.” (X-Factor #61)
Because we never get tired of those dramatis personae pages. (X-Factor #61)
Bogdanove’s Hodge really is the best Hodge. (X-Factor #61)
I’m pretty sure this is the first hint we’ve gotten at Cable’s mutant powers. (Based on eventually-established continuity, he should be dying of the T-O virus right now, but that wouldn’t be written in until much later.) (X-Factor #61)
These nerds. (X-Factor #61)
I wonder what’s in Xavier’s telepathically-derived files! (X-Factor #61)
That Charles Xavier keeps detailed files on which of his students want to bang each other is the least surprising thing I’ve read in my life. (X-Factor #61)
“I mean, except for the chokehold part! (X-Factor #61)
NEXT EPISODE: Revenge of the return of the X-Men!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

156 – Genosha Strikes Back

28 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

In which we hit the Empire Strikes Back of X-Tinction Agenda; it’s hard to be Laura Kinney; the psychic knife makes its debut; Evil!Sexy Moira retains some moral high ground; if your society is built on slavery, your society deserves to crumble; words mean things; Havok would be a terrible housecat; the mutants do not have the patent on stupidity; the opposite of blades is cotton; we give Cameron Hodge’s severed head a pep talk; and Cyclops goes full Peralta.

X-PLAINED:

  • Uncanny X-Men #271, New Mutants #96, X-Factor #61
  • Laura Kinney’s brief babysitting career
  • Our upcoming hiatus
  • Dramatis personae
  • A figurative battering ram
  • Focused totality
  • Best insults of the 1990s
  • A debate
  • Ethics of rhetoric
  • Housecat Havok
  • Skittering
  • Mutate numbering systems
  • The Prisoner vs. Les Miserables
  • The slow disintegration of reality as we know it
  • Sneaking with Cable
  • A singularly anticlimactic cover
  • A lushly illustrated report
  • Increasingly petty revenge
  • S.H.I.E.L.D.’s most advanced bald cap
  • A rising storm
  • Art teams
  • What we’d like to see out of an X-Men cinematic reboot

NEXT EPISODE: Return of the Revenge of the X-Men

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)