Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Uncanny X-Men

363 – Licked by a Shadow

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which standing in fields looking confused is a way of life; Psylocke gets a new superpower; when you gotta confess you gotta confess; Iceman’s dad stands up for justice; we mourn a Sentinel; and it’s probably a good thing that most companies don’t do mind melds as a team-building exercise.

X-PLAINED:

  • Levels of mutant power
  • Omicron-level mutations
  • Miles’s brief baseball career
  • Uncanny X-Men #338
  • X-Men #58
  • X-Men Annual 1996
  • Archangel’s wings
  • Joseph vs. Holographic Magneto
  • Shadow teleportation
  • The errand theory of confession
  • Graydon Creed (more) (again)
  • “Drake Roberts” and “Samson Guthry”
  • Several ways to memorialize the Mutant Massacre
  • Onslaught, but an anteater
  • A fight
  • Several JJJ cameos
  • X-baseball games
  • A highly atypical Sentinel
  • Several oblique warnings
  • X-Men ‘97
  • Media inspired by the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Pryde & Wisdom

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As Mentioned in Episode 357 – The Semiotics of Regret

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
This cover accomplishes what it sets out to do so beautifully… (Uncanny X-Men #337)
…as does its credits page. (Uncanny X-Men #337)
Nothing is entirely okay here. (Uncanny X-Men #337)
Hank, no. (Uncanny X-Men #337)
And wistfulness for dessert. (Uncanny X-Men #337)
Ah, that cover. Again. (X-Men #57)
Versions of this have been used roughly a zillion times; but it always works. (X-Men #57)
The 616, where televisions always flip through the most scene-appropriate clips. (X-Men #57)
Clean up your damn flechettes, Warren Kenneth Worthington III. (X-Men #57)
(He’s not covered in water; it’s the anti-psy field and the evocation of Days of Future Past.) (Onslaught Epilogue #1)
Not… the Rainbow Bears?! (Onslaught Epilogue #1)
Hi, kiddo. (Onslaught Epilogue #1)
Psychology is… different, here. (Onslaught Epilogue #1)
Sure, why not? (Onslaught Epilogue #1)
NEXT EPISODE: GIANT-SIZE WINTER SPECIAL, feat. Jonathan Hickman!

As Mentioned in Episode 351 – His Mighty Hand

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
At least his astral form also works out. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
The size difference is endlessly amusing. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
You done good, Gambit. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
For those of you who collect reaction images. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
Seriously–PERFECT CYLINDER. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
It always seems weird to me that when Cable’s arm is like that it doesn’t seem to cause any mobility or balance issues. (Cable #35)
They’ll team up, but, damnit, they won’t enjoy it. (Cable #35)
Meanwhile at your neighborhood roller rink… (Cable #35)
He’s like a tiny pet Franklin getting walked around Manhattan! (Cable #35)
SO THERE, ONSLAUGHT. (Cable #35)
That throne is so creepy and gross and awesome. (X-Man #19)
Remember the Age of Apocalypse? Nate does! (X-Man #19)
Aw, kiddo. (X-Factor #58)
They’re all very neatly arranged, at least. (X-Factor #58)
Tabitha really needs some healthier coping mechanisms. (X-Factor #58)
AW, KIDDO. (X-Factor #58)
Please google “highland cattle” immediately and join me in giggling. (X-Factor #58)
Smelling the vegetation… and possibly hiding a pot of gold. (X-Factor #58)
Domino’s fantasies do not allow for teenage intrusion, TYVM. (X-Factor #58)
NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, still, obviously.

351 – His Mighty Hand

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we enter Phase 2 of Onslaught; Cable is a man of many purposes; Onslaught gets a makeover; Intentions only matter if you’re Longshot; and Sue Richards will pull over this crossover event right now if you don’t behave.

X-PLAINED:

  • Red Onslaught
  • Onslaught Phase 1
  • Uncanny X-Men #336
  • Cable #35
  • X-Man #19
  • X-Force #58
  • A large number of team-ups
  • Onslaught, but make it a seder
  • Watcher undercarriage
  • Onslaught’s second form
  • Cable and Apocalypse vs. Onslaught
  • Nate Grey vs. Sinister
  • A trap
  • Several flashbacks and fantasies
  • Symbolic roles within X-Force
  • What Banshee’s sonic scream sounds like
  • Pecs as envisioned by Franklin Richards

NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, of course.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 348 – Onslaught Continues

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
In Apocalypse’s defense, this is also roughly what I wear to sleep. (Uncanny X-Men #335)
“Quick! Let’s fight for no reason!” (Uncanny X-Men #335)
“Next, we’re gonna shut down Blue Man Group.” (X-Men Unlimited #11)
This is what every bar is like, right? (X-Men Unlimited #11)
Rogue has no time for your nonsense. (X-Men Unlimited #11)
Damn, Bastion. Cold. (X-Men Unlimited #11)
“Do you like… magnets?” (X-Men Unlimited #11)
SEE? GUN ARM! (X-Men Unlimited #11)
Did Thor ever actually wear that outfit in a comic book? (Avengers #401)
Vision is RIGHT THERE, man. (Avengers #401)
Including this panel entirely for Gratuitously Topless Thor. (Avengers #401)
Uncalled for, Silver-Age callback. (Avengers #401)
That is not the face of a man who has driven around in a magnet-shaped car. (Avengers #401)
NEXT EPISODE: More Onslaught (but also Sinister)!

348 – Onslaught Continues

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which all the heroes fight each other, a lot.

X-PLAINED:

  • Teenage Iron Man
  • Onslaught thus far
  • What Onslaught wants
  • Uncanny X-Men #335
  • X-Men Unlimited #11
  • Avengers #401
  • The rebirth of Apocalypse
  • The Apocalocophagous
  • The Age of Wonders
  • X-Man vs. Professor X
  • Nate Grey-sitting
  • Humanity’s Last Stand
  • Simon Trask
  • Bastion
  • Rogue and Joseph
  • Avengers fashion
  • Assumptions
  • Other characters who could merge Onslaught-style
  • Origins of the Angry Claremontean Narrator

NEXT EPISODE: Yes, still Onslaught.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 339 – Luck Be a Lady

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(Press the “i” icon in the bottom-right to see captions in the gallery. It’s a known WordPress bug we’re still looking for a way around!)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Wolverine, now with 100% less nose. (Uncanny X-Men #332)
Because no X-Man has ever made a worse decision, ever, right? (Uncanny X-Men #332)
Honestly, I’d be worried, too. (Uncanny X-Men #332)
Aw, Nate. (Uncanny X-Men #332)
Way to make it weird, Logan. (Wolverine #101)
Never not adorable. (Wolverine #101)
Elektra cameo! (Wolverine #101)
Meanwhile in a Bob Ross painting… (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
Preacher needs to get better at stretching his canvases. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
The Bishop carry. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
Oh, THAT guy, again. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
Seriously, this seems logistically unlikely. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
Depixelization is no fun, apparently. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
And she’s back! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996)
NEXT EPISODE: X.S.E.!

LINKS & FURTHER TOMFOOLERY

339 – Luck Be a Lady

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which evil robots are fundamentally more optimistic than climate change; Ozymandias could probably use a new hobby; Wolverine goes full Kate Beaton; “Luck Be a Lady” would be a kickass hymn; Shard gets a body (kinda); and the X-Men definitely do that.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some of Stryfe’s team-ups
  • Fatal Attractions (briefly)
  • X-Cutioner’s Song (briefly)
  • Genesis / Tolliver / Tyler Dayspring
  • Several other individuals named Genesis
  • Lost noses, historical and fictional
  • Uncanny X-Men #332
  • Wolverine #100-101
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual 1996
  • Zoe Culloden (The Expediter)
  • Ozymandias
  • Wolverine, golden retriever
  • An Elektra cameo
  • Wild Thing
  • Bishop and Shard (again)
  • The return of Preacher
  • The Hound (again)
  • A reunion
  • Deplxelation
  • Krakoan team niches
  • What heroes do

NEXT: X.S.E.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 333 – Fight Train

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I’d like to think he leaves her office like this afterwards. (Uncanny X-Men #331)
Just another Thursday on the PATH… (X-Men #51)
TFW you run into your boss outside of work and they make it weird. (X-Men #51)
…Somehow. (X-Men #52)
Remember that name; you’ll be sneering it later. (X-Men #52)
I wasn’t kidding when I said that Sinister kidnapped Bishop to find out if his ships were canon. (X-Men #52)
NEXT EPISODE: Emplate sucks!

333 – Fight Train

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Miles discovers owl legs; Iceman dwells in subtext; Dark Beast overperforms; Daredevil is a delightful trash fire of a person; Graydon Creed’s presidential run is somewhat less shocking in 2021; Rogue does not enjoy playing ‘Got your nose’; and Mister Sinister is not a friend to public transportation.

X-PLAINED:

  • Post-Decimation resurrections
  • Owl legs
  • Uncanny X-Men #331
  • X-Men #51-52
  • Iceman’s complicated personal life
  • Casual crossovers
  • The facial hair of Warren Kenneth Worthington III
  • The terrible decisions of Matt Murdock
  • How to subtly test your in-laws for mutant powers
  • What Mister Sinister sounds like
  • A bad plan
  • The debut of Bastion
  • DNA
  • Foreshadowing

NEXT EPISODE: Emplate Sucks

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!