Uncanny X-Men – Page 2 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

455 – Space, Geeks, and Galactus

July 7, 2024 Jay 8 comments

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In which Roadhouse is basically a Wolverine story; Spider-Man does crimes; space names are derivative; there are lots of good reasons to yell at Professor Xavier; the X-Men do Doctor Who; Galactus is not interested in your puny human feelings; Marrow gets a new look; the Skrulls need a crash course in UI; and we overthink bones.

X-PLAINED:

The time the Skrulls did “A Piece of the Action”
The trouble with benevolent dictatorships
X-Men #89-90
Uncanny X-Men #370
A New York City that is not in fact New York City
“Spider-Man”
A ruse
Faces
Skrull problems
Mar-Vell
Adam Warlock
Sass vs. joviality
Skrull Cop City
Disguises
Nova (Frankie Raye)
How Galactus eats planets
Condiments
Several melees
Bone pubes
Skrull UI
Whether Moopsy could drink Wolverine’s bones
X-Musicals

NEXT EPISODE: The return of Douglock!

The Roald Dahl short story whose title Jay couldn’t recall is “Beware of the Dog.”

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As Mentioned in Episode 451 – Meanwhile in Another Dimension

June 2, 2024 Jay Leave a comment

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Spoiler: No. (Uncanny X-Men #368)

I need a black-and-white numbered legend for this panel. (Uncanny X-Men #368)

HAMMER PANTS (Uncanny X-Men #368)

And now, for something completely different. (Uncanny X-Men #368)

Specifically, this. (Uncanny X-Men #368)

Well, then. (X-Men #88)

“Good lord!” (X-Men #88)

The Trion. (X-Men #88)

Alan Davis’s Black Tom Cassidy is a looker. (X-Men #88)

Coooooool (X-Men #88)

Storm and Ororo. (Uncanny X-Men #369)

Tentacles from the tentacle dimension. (Uncanny X-Men #369)

THEY WENT IN THROUGH THE FACE (Uncanny X-Men #369)

The Trion, revisited. (Uncanny X-Men #369)

I fuckin’ love it when anyone carries Wolverine like this. (Uncanny X-Men #369)

Juggernaut vs. Jugger-not. (Uncanny X-Men #369)

Whoops. (Uncanny X-Men #369)

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto Rex!

451 – Meanwhile in Another Dimension

June 2, 2024 Jay 2 comments

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In which we remain fascinated by Magneto’s robot butler; murder is Logan’s love language; the Juggernaut punches a hole in reality; Professor Xavier makes it weird; and Storm lectures several gods.

X-PLAINED:

Silly mutant powers
Uncanny X-Men #368-369
X-Men #88
Alan Davis’s X-Men run
Magneto’s robot butler
Joseph’s funeral
Nun-sense
A voyage to another dimension
Eyebrow power
Ejulp
The Trion
The other Gem of Cyttorak that’s like the first one but somehow worse
Several comas
Juggernaut vs. Juggernaut
Evil, kind of
Vacationing with X-Men characters
Illyana Rasputin and Rachel Summers

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto Rex

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As Mentioned in Episode 450 – Live at the Clinton Street Theater

May 26, 2024 Jay Leave a comment

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A smooth criminal. (Uncanny X-Men #428)

X-Men: First Class: The Draco (Uncanny X-Men #428)

Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #428)

I love that Wolverine tries to stop nude Nightcrawler from stealing the plane by throwing a beer can at it. (Uncanny X-Men #429)

You’d think he could at least let the cafeteria staff know he was planning on sleeping in there. (Uncanny X-Men #429)

Annie, no. (Uncanny X-Men #429)

This Hell sucks. (Uncanny X-Men #431)

And then Mystique flew violently out of a child’s abdomen, in one of the less bizarre scenes in this story arc. (Uncanny X-Men #431)

Dinner in Hell. (Uncanny X-Men #432)

*grumble grumble Daimon Hellstrom grumble* (Uncanny X-Men #432)

So, that happened. (Uncanny X-Men #433)

Either, really. (Uncanny X-Men #434)

Ginniyeh is the only remotely adequate demon in this arc. (Uncanny X-Men #434)

Awkward. (Uncanny X-Men #434)

NEXT EPISODE: Business as usual.

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE

AIWeirdness.com is both delightful and educational!

450 – Live at the Clinton Street Theater

May 26, 2024 Jay 6 comments

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In which we celebrate our tenth anniversary by X-Plaining what may be the most reviled X-arc; you should not try this at home; Mystique is so much better than this story; Azazel is a really boring devil; Nightcrawler should probably be missing a hand; the Xavier School definitely does not have an HR department; and we would prefer that you not pee on Iceman.

X-PLAINED:

Nightcrawler’s (most recent) parentage
Uncanny X-Men #428-434
X-Men Blue: Origins #1
The X-Men, like, in general
Nightcrawler (Kurt Wagner)
Some narrative choices
Mystique
Baron Christian Wagner
Marvel Europe
Azazel
Church sex
Nightstreaker
Isla des Demonas
Foibles of Warren Kenneth Worthington III
Annie and Carter Ghazikhanian
Abyss
Kiwi Black
The Cheyarafim and Neyaphem
Bad times with psychic therapy
Post-traumatic supervillainy
Uncool Hell
A miracle of magnetism
The only cool thing in Uncool Hell
A very elegant retcon
X-Muppets
Characters who deserve more page space
Miles’s favorite X-Person
What the Worthington Corporation does
A character who could reasonably be Azazel’s kid

NEXT EPISODE: Back to X-business as usual!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 444 – Damnit, Magnus

March 31, 2024 Miles Leave a comment

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Domino: wine mom, but also good mom. (X-Force #86)

WRONG FREEZER WRONG FREEZER (X-Force #86)

Theresa Rourke Cassidy, mistress of disguise. (X-Force #86)

Remember how Moonstar’s weird new powers are always accompanied by a cosmic blue glow? This issue doesn’t, and is thus… confusing. (X-Force #86)

Odysseus Indigo, the most dapper of antagonists. (X-Force #86)

Some exceptionally efficient visual storytelling by Jim Cheung. (X-Force #86)

Christmas in March! Well, March for us. December for Colossus. (Uncanny X-Men #365)

Hey, it’s that thing Miles used to draw in middle school! How’d that get there?! (Uncanny X-Men #365)

In which Colossus interrupts a very manly threesome. (Uncanny X-Men #365)

The X-Men X-Plain X-Mas. (Uncanny X-Men #365)

I mean, that’s Rusty Collins, right? (Uncanny X-Men #365)

“My favorite X-Men character? You probably haven’t heard of him.” (Uncanny X-Men #365)

Oof, my emotions… (Uncanny X-Men #365)

Aww. (Uncanny X-Men #365)

Now that is a cover. (X-Men #85)

In which the first page establishes that this story will be a Big Deal. (X-Men #85)

Sorry, Bill… today’s gonna be a rough one. (X-Men #85)

We missed Alan Davis. (X-Men #85)

Uh oh. (X-Men #85)

Heroes. (X-Men #85)

This issue uses juxtaposition perfectly. (X-Men #85)

Magneto gets the answer he wants… and then the answer he doesn’t. (X-Men #85)

NEXT TIME: The Magneto War begins.

LINKS & FURTHER FESTIVITIES

RSVP to our 10th birthday party!

444 – Damnit, Magnus

March 31, 2024 Miles 5 comments

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In which it’s difficult to flee with soup; Miles may or may not be haunting the X-Men; Colossus collaborates involuntarily; Marrow is full of surprises; Magneto is a dick; Jay continues to carry a torch for Secret Wars: Siege; and you should totally come to our birthday party.

X-PLAINED:

Several rather pointed allusions
X-Force #86
Uncanny X-Men #365
X-Men #85
Almost Reno, NM
Where mutants come from
The Aguilar Institute (more) (again)
Abandoned towns
Mary the telepathic moppet (more) (again)
Odysseus Indigo
The Damocles Foundation
Sibling names
The Fundamental Attribution Error
A haunting
Christmas beer
Christmas ghost exquisite corpse
Bill Jones
A rescue mission
Essential stories of the ‘90s
Our weird favorites
Siege
Our upcoming 10^th birthday party (more) (again)

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto War begins!

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RSVP to our birthday shenanigans!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 440 – Fightin’ and Ballin’

February 11, 2024 Miles One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Fight fight fight, fight fight fight! (X-Men #83)

PHWOOOOOSH PKOOOM YAAIIIHEEE SWOOOOOOOOOSSS (X-Men #83)

‘Sup, demonic sperm? (X-Men #83)

From organic steel to organic… whatever that is. (X-Men #83)

What if Pinocchio but evil Colossus-bot? (X-Men #83)

The other Cerebr(o/ite) design. (X-Men #83)

Design by David Cronenberg? (Uncanny X-Men #364)

Fight fight fight, fight fight fight! (Again again again!) (Uncanny X-Men #364)

The best version of Post. (Uncanny X-Men #364)

Wolverine: vigilante relationship counselor and motivational speaker. (Uncanny X-Men #364)

Eeeuuuugghhh (Uncanny X-Men #364)

Charles Xavier: the world’s most ripped telepath. (X-Men #84)

Cerebro Prime has almost completed its Pokédex! (X-Men #84)

Colossus practices his witty banter. (X-Men #84)

Oil and razor blades and cotton candy and (X-Men #84)

The Xavier Protocols are gorier than expected. (X-Men #84)

Imagine all the people (X-Men #84)

Back home and back to the status quo. (X-Men #84)

NEXT TIME: Dracula.

Links and further reading:

440 – Fightin’ and Ballin’

February 11, 2024 Miles 6 comments

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In which the Hunt for Xavier remains vaguely disappointing; Gambit is good with kids; nanomachines are the new unstable molecules; Marrow is a walking armory; and we recommend comics for babies.

X-PLAINED:

The Hunt for Xavier, Part 2
Babies and/or ghosts
Chekhov’s repowering
X-Men #83-84
Uncanny X-Men #364
Cerebro / Cerebro Prime
Cerebrite Alpha
Cerebrite Beta
X-Men serial numbers
What Gambit’s friends call him
How Miles stopped worrying and learned to love Gambit
Evil robot sperm
Mary Purcell
Multiple-monitor displays
A computer with a computer
AI
The Florida facility
Post
Pile-Driver X
A glimpse into the butt of all humanity
Comics for babies
Name-based powers

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X has Dracula problems!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!