Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: The Twelve

As Mentioned in Episode 473 – The Baker’s Dozen (The Twelve, Part Three)

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You know it’s serious business when someone smashes the logo. (Uncanny X-Men #377)
How long did it take him to set up that machinery? (Uncanny X-Men #377)
He said it! He said it! (Uncanny X-Men #377)
Apocalypse’s balls. (Uncanny X-Men #377)
Apocalypse’s balls, version two. (Cable #76)
A younger Cable. (Cable #76)
Aw, man. (Cable #76)
FEELINGS. (Cable #76)
Potato snow. (Cable #76)
Maybe the bodice is scale, not quilted? But it really looks quilted. (Cable #76)
The power of continuity! (X-Men #97)
The chewy center of Apocalypse. (X-Men #97)
And THAT’S how you reference Uncanny X-Men #137. (X-Men #97)
Well, shit. (X-Men #97)
NEXT EPISODE: Jay & Miles 2024 Winter Special!

LINKS & FURTHER ADVENTURES

473 – The Baker’s Dozen (The Twelve, Part Three)

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In which you know it’s serious business when a logo gets smashed; the prophecy of the Twelve is an elaborate prank; we have a lot of Summers family feelings; Apocalypse is not a very good planner; and the Twelve reaches its conclusion.

X-PLAINED:

  • Who Madelyne Pryor’s psychic ghost really is
  • The story so far
  • Uncanny X-Men #377
  • Cable #76
  • X-Men #97
  • Perks of immortality
  • A slightly gratuitous way to destroy an airplane
  • Several doppelgangers
  • Apocalypse’s big, stupid plan
  • A fancy science machine
  • The Atomium
  • The Twelve
  • The three elements
  • The best issue of the Twelve
  • Orb action
  • Cable’s knowledge of history
  • Summers feelings
  • How to establish stakes
  • Potato storms
  • The mutant Skrulls (more) (again)
  • Cadre K
  • Categories of mutants
  • How to beta test an Armageddon machine
  • Alpha nerd Charles Xavier
  • Weaponized continuity
  • The color(s) of Cyclops’s eyes
  • How to evoke Uncanny X-Men #137
  • An unfortunate twist
  • Mundane uses of superpowers
  • The Altar
  • What would have improved the Twelve

NEXT EPISODE: Winter Special!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 472 – Leave Room for Magneto (The Twelve, Part Two)

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Intense emotion, fiddly gadgets, and dramatic narration. What more do you need? (Wolverine #146)
Gravity be damned, Nightcrawler’s going to punch some bricks and stomp some turtles. (Wolverine #146)
Generation Blue, Generation Red. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #211. (Wolverine #146)
Warren Kenneth Worthington III, you give that tiny caveman back his club! (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #170. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #179. (Wolverine #146)
Now that is a fight scene. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #153. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #169. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #148. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #242. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Wolverine #74. (Wolverine #146)
Neat, they’re (psychically) wearing their outfits from that time they were partners in Madripoor! (Wolverine #146)
Angel’s darkness looks like light? You know, that actually makes a lot of sense. (Wolverine #147)
Flechettes! (Wolverine #147)
Referencing… oh, wait, this one actually has a caption. (Wolverine #147)
Poor kid… (Wolverine #147)
United by trauma. (Wolverine #147)
Everyone is just so sharp on this page… (Wolverine #147)
Silhouettes: climax! (Wolverine #147)
Silhouettes: denouement! (Wolverine #147)
“Do I have to call your parents, children?” (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
Heh. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
I wish we saw more of these two together. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
Damaging currency is a federal crime, Wolverine! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
This page has earned its Kirby Krackle. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
“You see, I have to be extra spooky to even out everyone else’s happiness. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
Like a hairy little astromech droid at a scomp port. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
Science! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
And they died miserably ever after. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
NEXT TIME: The Twelve concludes!

LINKS & FURTHER FELINES:

472 – Leave Room for Magneto (The Twelve, Part Two)

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In which the Twelve should really be twelve chapters long; Archangel has issues; we continue to bemoan the absence of captions; the X-Men ditch their crossover event for a side quest; Magneto is Genosha’s official chaperone; and we would absolutely elect Emma Frost to a school board.

X-PLAINED:

  • What Cable does next
  • The event so far
  • Wolverine #146-147
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999
  • Whether the Shadow King is moist
  • Why tiny cavemen can’t have nice things
  • Numerous flashbacks and allusions
  • Archangel’s third-stage evolution
  • The Philharmonic Gets Dressed
  • Abraham Kieros (again)
  • Apocalypse as a self-help guru
  • Fully nude Wolverine
  • X-51 #8 (briefly)
  • Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
  • A miracle of magnetism
  • Scomp linking
  • A big fancy machine
  • Exodus (more) (again)
  • Mutants we’d like to see in public office
  • The (theoretical) Essex administration

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve concludes!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 471 – Eyebrows and Powers (The Twelve, Part One)

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Which of our lucky contestants will make it into… The Twelve? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
The exceptionally ripped man he is today. (Uncanny X-Men #376)
Well, it beats breaking up with a text message… maybe? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
The costume so rad Jubilee would remember it existed and start wearing it on the regular years later when she became a vampire! (Uncanny X-Men #376)
…He says that during sex too, doesn’t he? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
Havok-hat versus fez: fight! (Uncanny X-Men #376)
“Why hello up there, Nate and Little Nate!” (Cable #75)
Angry faces! (Cable #75)
Angry faces, continued! (Cable #75)
Not gonna lie, that’s legitimately badass. (Cable #75)
WHO PUT THAT THERE?! (Cable #75)
En Sabah Snake (Cable #75)
Now kiss! (Cable #75)
Survival of the Toothiest (Cable #75)
Black Friday shopping gets worse every year. (X-Men #96)
“…if you know what I mean.” (X-Men #96)
Aww, c’mon, Scott – Fiz is just happy to be here! (X-Men #96)
Say what you will about Apocalypse, but he does design some pretty excellent costumes. (X-Men #96)
I really dig this take on Storm’s cape. (X-Men #96)
Hi Rory! Sorry about your, uh, everything! (X-Men #96)
Dear Alan Davis: please keep drawing Nightcrawler forever. (X-Men #96)
We just love this guy. (X-Men #96)
NEXT TIME: The Twelve continues!

471 – Eyebrows and Powers (The Twelve: Part One)

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Survival of the Toothiest (Cable #75)

In which we begin our coverage of The Twelve; Scott and Jean get sucked back in AGAIN; Apocalypse probably doesn’t tip; and we have become awfully fond of Cable.

X-PLAINED:

  • A codename that deviates from common patterns
  • The story so far
  • Uncanny X-Men #376
  • Cable #75
  • X-Men #96
  • Fiz the Skrull (again)
  • The Twelve
  • Foreshadowing, both accurate and otherwise
  • The Living Monolith (more) (again)
  • That one font
  • Time-travel logic
  • Cable vs. eyes
  • Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
  • A trap
  • Why the Twelve are the Twelve
  • The evolution of Cable

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve continues!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 405 – Morally Purple

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So, that’s a thing. (Cable #-1)
Honestly, I kinda wish Cable had sported this look for longer. (Cable #-1)
THE BOW TIE (Cable #-1)
Cable’s future may be kind of dystopian, but it’s also rad as hell. (Cable #-1)
Damn, bro. (Cable #-1)
On one hand, yes, he’s very dashing. On the other hand, they are definitely foster siblings. (Excalibur #-1)
Hey, we know that guy! (Excalibur #-1)
This is Sabu. Don’t get attached. (Excalibur #-1)
Harry Leland knows how to dress to impress. (Generation X #-1)
I know it’s a byproduct of the foreshortening plus slightly murky colors, but from at least one angle, it looks like Hank has a human-skin rug. (Generation X #-1)
And then they never talked to or mentioned each other again. (Generation X #-1)
Rachel’s cloak is SO GOOD. (Uncanny X-Men #-1)
this genocidal disco motherfucker (Uncanny X-Men #-1)
Tanya, NO. (Uncanny X-Men #-1)
NEXT EPISODE: More flashbacks!

LINKS & FURTHER BACKSTORY

405 – Morally Purple

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In which Jay returns; babies are bad at pretty much everything; continuity flies straight out the window; Cable should speak English with a Scottish accent; Harry Leland knows how to dress; Tanya Trask makes the same time travel mistake everyone makes; and we love Al Kennedy forever.

X-PLAINED:

  • Sentry (but not that one)
  • Babies
  • Flashback
  • Cable #-1
  • Excalibur #-1
  • Generation X #-1
  • Uncanny X-Men #-1
  • The preturn of Angus McWhirter, angry hovercraft-rental guy
  • Hippie Cable
  • Veins of science
  • Yet another time travel loop
  • What may or may not be how Nightcrawler quit the circus
  • Sabu
  • “Science”
  • A large volume of dubious continuity
  • Larry Trask (more) (again)
  • Jay’s cosplay aspirations
  • Sanctity (Tanya Trask)
  • The Twelve (somewhat)
  • A possible splinter timeline
  • The X-Men of 1602
  • Rube Goldberg

NEXT EPISODE: Flashback continues!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 110 – Lights, Camera, Apocalypse!

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
We saw X-Men in the middle of a road trip the summer after our senior year of high school. Terrible vacation; fun movie.
X2: X-Men United is a very loose adaptation of one of our favorite X-Men stories: the Marvel Graphic Novel God Loves, Man Kills.
The less said about X-Men: The Last Stand, the better.
Jay can’t look at this X-Men: First Class poster without thinking of the Buckaroo Banzai end credits. It’s a blessing and a curse.
X-Men: Days of Future Past is one of the more ambitious retcons ever to grace the big screen.
X-Men: Apocalypse opens in the U.S. on May 27; and everywhere else at some point in the surrounding weeks.
Apocalypse’s on-panel debut… (X-Factor #5)
…and the first time we saw his signature costume. (X-Factor #6)
“Let’s adopt him and, I dunno, feed him scarab blood? Look, man, I’m making this up as I go along.” (Rise of Apocalypse #1)
Apocalypse’s true, diabolical plan, as realized in “The Twelve”: To capture a bunch of mutants and I guess put them in little terrariums? Apocalypse is a complicated guy. (Uncanny X-Men #377)
Apocalypse: Somehow actually more progressive than Doctor Who. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #1)
The mechanics of Apocalypse’s body–and relative immortality–vary wildly from series to series. (The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix #2)
In the Age of Apocalypse, Apocalypse takes over Earth ahead of schedule and makes everything super glam. (X-Men: Alpha)
Deadpool may not be an X-Man, but his movie did feature the best version of the X-Men costumes to show up so far on screen.
NEXT WEEK: Excalibur joins Inferno!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

110 – Lights, Camera, Apocalypse!

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which the X-Men cinematic universe is a really mixed bag; Kang the Conqueror ruins everything; everyone wants a Sphinx hovercraft; Elle was right; and we bring you up to speed on all things En Sabah Nur–just in time for X-Men: Apocalypse!

X-PLAINED:

  • How Chamber got his torso back (and then lost it again)(twice)
  • Several ways to count X-Men movies
  • X-Men
  • X2: X-Men United
  • X-Men: The Last Stand
  • X-Men: First Class
  • X-Men: Days of Future Past
  • Adaptation anxiety
  • Distillation vs. dilution
  • Apocalypse (En Sabah Nur)
  • Rise of Apocalypse #1-4
  • Akkaba
  • Dubious survival tips
  • Fantastic Four #19
  • Doctor Strange #53
  • Ozymandias
  • Various horsemen of Apocalypse
  • Age of Apocalypse (Earth-295)
  • The Twelve
  • Cinematic X-costumes
  • Cast Party

NEXT WEEK: Excalibur joins Inferno!

CORRECTION: In this episode, Jay states that Kieran Shiach explained Kang in the Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts. It was, in fact, the amazing Paul O’Brien. Mea culpa.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!