Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 471 – Eyebrows and Powers (The Twelve, Part One)

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Which of our lucky contestants will make it into… The Twelve? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
The exceptionally ripped man he is today. (Uncanny X-Men #376)
Well, it beats breaking up with a text message… maybe? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
The costume so rad Jubilee would remember it existed and start wearing it on the regular years later when she became a vampire! (Uncanny X-Men #376)
…He says that during sex too, doesn’t he? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
Havok-hat versus fez: fight! (Uncanny X-Men #376)
“Why hello up there, Nate and Little Nate!” (Cable #75)
Angry faces! (Cable #75)
Angry faces, continued! (Cable #75)
Not gonna lie, that’s legitimately badass. (Cable #75)
WHO PUT THAT THERE?! (Cable #75)
En Sabah Snake (Cable #75)
Now kiss! (Cable #75)
Survival of the Toothiest (Cable #75)
Black Friday shopping gets worse every year. (X-Men #96)
“…if you know what I mean.” (X-Men #96)
Aww, c’mon, Scott – Fiz is just happy to be here! (X-Men #96)
Say what you will about Apocalypse, but he does design some pretty excellent costumes. (X-Men #96)
I really dig this take on Storm’s cape. (X-Men #96)
Hi Rory! Sorry about your, uh, everything! (X-Men #96)
Dear Alan Davis: please keep drawing Nightcrawler forever. (X-Men #96)
We just love this guy. (X-Men #96)
NEXT TIME: The Twelve continues!

471 – Eyebrows and Powers (The Twelve: Part One)

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Survival of the Toothiest (Cable #75)

In which we begin our coverage of The Twelve; Scott and Jean get sucked back in AGAIN; Apocalypse probably doesn’t tip; and we have become awfully fond of Cable.

X-PLAINED:

  • A codename that deviates from common patterns
  • The story so far
  • Uncanny X-Men #376
  • Cable #75
  • X-Men #96
  • Fiz the Skrull (again)
  • The Twelve
  • Foreshadowing, both accurate and otherwise
  • The Living Monolith (more) (again)
  • That one font
  • Time-travel logic
  • Cable vs. eyes
  • Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
  • A trap
  • Why the Twelve are the Twelve
  • The evolution of Cable

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve continues!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 470 – Large Adult Men

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Nipples? Spigots? Weirdly evenly spaced barnacles? You be the judge! (Cable #73)
Neither that font nor that neck is acceptable. (Cable #73)
The fonts in this book are killing me. (Cable #73)
Hug #1. (Cable #73)
Hug #2. (Cable #73)
Perspective? I hardly know ‘er! Wait. Damnit. (Cable #73)
What’s REALLY on the CD? Tell us in the comments! (Cable #73)
Caliban: Tailor of Apocalypse! (Cable #73)
The juxtaposition between the art and text in this pane is extremely funny. (Cable #73)
Quick-change! (Cable #74)
Deathbird, or possibly Warbird now. (Cable #74)
Whoops. (Cable #74)
He looks so over it. (Cable #74)
Ewwwww. (Wolverine #145)
He does look pretty rad, though. (Wolverine #145)
THAT HORSE (Wolverine #145)
Large man being large. (Wolverine #145)
The first time the new claws come out. (Wolverine #145)
NEXT EPISODE: We couldn’t put it off forever.

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE

470 – Large Adult Men

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In which Cable may or may not have been a spokesperson for AT&T; it’s impossible to draw a CD dramatically; Wolverine gets his adamantium back; Apocalypse says the thing; and we probably can’t keep putting off The Twelve forever.

X-PLAINED:

  • One way to dispose of a corpse
  • Cable #73-74
  • Wolverine #145
  • Cable (more) (again)
  • Poor font choice
  • Sarcophagus nipples
  • Caliban (more) (again)
  • Impromptu tailoring
  • A cliched vignette
  • People talking on couches
  • A compact disc
  • Unpleasant reunions
  • An impressive outfit
  • Prior generations of horsemen of Apocalypse
  • Wolverine (more) (again)
  • How Wolverine ended up a horseman of Apocalypse
  • Apocalypse’s aesthetic
  • Wolverine vs. Hulk (yet again)
  • Which version of Magik was on Krakoa
  • An X-Men pitch in the style of Spidey and his Amazing Friends

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve begins!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 467 – Disorganizing Principle

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And then Marrow whacked a centaur with a dinosaur, as happens. (Uncanny X-Men #373)
Piotr Rasputin, clown in training. (Uncanny X-Men #373)
Nice Sienkiewicz-style sketchiness… (Uncanny X-Men #373)
What’s up, Doctor Klaw? (Uncanny X-Men #373)
Poor Sarah… (Uncanny X-Men #373)
Mikhail turns a chair into a dinosaur to prove every point. (Uncanny X-Men #374)
Jeez, at least put a beanbag chair in the corner or something. (Uncanny X-Men #374)
Marrow 4.0 meets Marrow 1.0. (Uncanny X-Men #374)
Marrow 4.0 meets Marrow 2.0. (Uncanny X-Men #374)
For him, it was Tuesday. (Uncanny X-Men #374)
I… definitely knew it all along! It was obvious, really! (Uncanny X-Men #374)
“I wish I could just turn into a bird like in X-Men Evolution.” (X-Men #93)
I’m starting with the elf in the mirror… (X-Men #93)
Honestly, Rogue’s response would’ve been understandable regardless of the nature of her powers. (X-Men #93)
Polaris is a little… out of character in this arc. Get used to it, I guess. (X-Men #93)
“So were Mystique and Destiny… Roommates? Gal Pals?” (X-Men #93)
I appreciate a clear sense of panel-to-panel movement. Even more so when it’s Rogue kicking ass. (X-Men #93)
Sunfire ponders how to quit the scene. (X-Men #94)
You wish it was just one journal, Kitty. Just you wait. (X-Men #94)
I know all of the As stand for Apocalypse, but I like to think Destiny was just giving her prophecies excellent grades. (X-Men #94)
Listen, Rogue, it could be worse – your mom may have disappeared in the middle of a sincere conversation, but at least she didn’t throw you off a bridge to be picked up by an evil wizard lady and her attractive daughter! (X-Men #94)
NEXT TIME: Jubilee gets revenge!

467 – Disorganizing Principle

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In which Nightcrawler has a type; the Hill is a bad place to raise your kids up; Colossus introduces Marrow to art; we come out against autotrepanation; Mikhail Rasputin never learns; Destiny leaves clues from beyond the grave; and The Twelve looms.

X-PLAINED:

  • That one universe where Mystique raised Nightcrawler in an attic
  • An event in name only
  • Some shit that went down a while ago
  • The Hill (more) (again)
  • Uncanny X-Men #373-374
  • X-Men #93-94
  • Marrow as a child soldier
  • Rural Boston
  • Some asshole
  • Mikhail Rasputin (more) (again)
  • How to prove that you’re a god
  • The souls of furniture and some other things
  • The green psychic entity who’s been secretly controlling Mikhail Rasputin, I guess?
  • Ninja problems
  • B. Byron Biggs
  • Ronnie Lake
  • A Conspiracy
  • How Rogue and Destiny met
  • Compulsory heterosexuality
  • Destiny’s diaries
  • Prognostication vs. agenda-setting
  • Skrullverine’s power mimicry
  • How the Mannites could’ve been used in the Krakoan era

NEXT EPISODE: Secrets of Jubilee’s past!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 369 – Carly Askani

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
“This ought to give you” *POW* “a new perspective” *BIFF* “on things, Alex!” (Uncanny X-Men #339)
Head trauma for Lucas BIshop! (Uncanny X-Men #339)
I mean, she’s not wrong. (Uncanny X-Men #339)
“You think I just fell off the turnip truck, McCoy? No one pulls a fast one on J. Jonah Jameson!” (Uncanny X-Men #339)
“I’m Ororo Munroe, and I’m here to x-plain the X-Men… because it’s about time someone did.” (Uncanny X-Men #339)
Never trust a Summers when he tells you he’s fine. (Uncanny X-Men #339)
Well, if they can print it, I guess we can post it. (X-Men #59)
Head trauma for Lucas Bishop! Again! (X-Men #59)
Hell of a Wolverine you’ve got there, Mr. Kubert. (X-Men #59)
JOSEPH I AM CALLING THE POLICE (X-Men #59)
Not quite as good as the Rogue/Gambit kiss from #41, but still… whoa. (X-Men #59)
I’M HUGE (X-Men #59)
“For instance, I can see through this utterly massive chin.” (Wolverine Annual 1996)
Josef Stalin..? (Wolverine Annual 1996)
Up… (Wolverine Annual 1996)
…and up… (Wolverine Annual 1996)
…and up. (Wolverine Annual 1996)
“General Grievious, sir, it’s the Jedi!” (Wolverine Annual 1996)
You know, I think this might be Sunfire’s best non-Age of Apocalypse look! (Wolverine Annual 1996)
*Pacific Rim music plays* (and now it’s in your head too) (Wolverine Annual 1996)
Logan, that… that was there before. Maybe you need to adjust your bandana. (Wolverine Annual 1996)
NEXT TIME: The Silver Age with Max Carleton!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

369 – Carly Askani

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Storm & Joseph X-Plain the X-Men, Alex Summers is not brainwashed this time, he promises, Scott Lobdell writes better moments than stories, Ed McGuinness draws very large chins, and it’s Denver the Last Dinosaur, not Denver the Lost Dinosaur

X-PLAINED:

  • Uncanny X-Men #339
  • Spider-Man disambiguation
  • A. Kubert disambiguation
  • J. Jonah Jameson (again) (hooray!)
  • Sneaking songs
  • The history of smoking regulation on airlines
  • Creed disambiguation
  • Havok’s Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
  • Bonding while falling out of planes
  • X-Men #59
  • The copyright status of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
  • Well-drawn Wolverines
  • Hercules vs The Tick
  • Wolverine Annual 1996
  • The tragic death of Mariko Yashida
  • Silver Samurai (Kuniuchio Harada)
  • Sunfire (Shiro Yoshida) and what he’s been up to since Fatal Attractions
  • Josef Stalin, apparently?
  • Red Ronin and its nemesis, a time-lost dinosaur who we assure you is not Godzilla
  • Jedi and/or samurai vs. doors
  • Our logo fonts
  • James Howlett, guidance counselor
  • Onslaught but not evil
  • Whether Magneto could wield Mjolnir

NEXT EPISODE: The Silver Age with Max Carleton!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 304 – Explosive Ops

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Next up: this cover sadly walking away from a gathered crowd of additional copies of this cover. (X-Force #44)
They’re about five minutes away from standing on each other’s shoulders and wearing a big trench coat to seem like an adult. (X-Force #44)
All of the elements of a relaxing vacation: an idyllic cottage, a beautiful forest, adorable animals, a tiny speedo… (X-Force #44)
“Also, I’m going to need you to start doing machines. You’ve been cool but rude for too long.” (X-Force #44)
“Ah’m nigh invulnerable when Ah’m excited!” (X-Force #44)
Morally yellow and purple. (X-Force #44)
“DOOM”? Are we looking at Caliban and Sabretooth or Surtur and his anvil? (X-Force #45)
Adam Pollina draws some pretty great faces. (X-Force #45)
“Every time he seems to be ready to come down, he loses count of his pouches and has to start all over again.” (X-Force #45)
If you asked me what X-book would look most like a romance comic in 1995, I would not have predicted X-Force. (X-Force #45)
Perhaps it’s not a coincidence that the character Mimic has spent the most time with in the preceding decade was the Hulk. (X-Force #45)
Rutland, Vermont: not just a frequent setting of 1970s Marvel and DC comics, but totally a real place! (Avengers #119)
“Is that..? Couldn’t be. But who else has that topknot and ‘burns combo?” (X-Force #46)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (X-Force #46)
These animals look way more judgmental than the ones in the last hologram. (X-Force #46)
“This new hair gel… When it says ‘apply sparingly’, it means it.” (X-Force #46)
“What? Someone on your team now has more pouches than me? I’ll be right over!” (X-Force #46)
Reminds me of my first car. (X-Force #47)
Aww, kid. (X-Force #47)
I’m not sure why Adam Pollina sometimes randomly gives us art nouveau backgrounds, but I’m not complaining. (X-Force #47)
Jeez, now I’m scared to go outside. (X-Force #47)
Aww not this again (X-Force #47)
This haircut! Bring back this exact haircut! (Longshot Saves the Marvel Universe #1)
NEXT TIME: The kinda-new, sorta-different X-Factor.

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE:

  • Rutland, Vermont had multiple Marvel and DC stories set in it during the 1970s – but it’s also a real place. Apologies for telling everyone it was imaginary, and thank you to all the listeners who kindly pointed out that it wasn’t!

304 – Explosive Ops

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay discovers a continuity loop; phonetic spelling reaches a new level of implausibility; it’s always already Onslaught; X-Force’s roster gets shaken up; Siryn goes undercover; and the Upstarts remain vaguely plot-relevant despite our fervent wishes.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mimic (Calvin Rankin)
  • Wing problems
  • X-Force #45-47
  • One of Adam Pollina’s more remarkable non-Marvel art credits
  • One of many homages to the cover of X-Men #138
  • X-Force, its members, and its recent history
  • Phonetic spelling
  • Warpath’s hair
  • Baffling managerial decisions
  • Whether Reed Richards is machine washable
  • Many pouches
  • An unlikely friendship
  • Sabretooth’s state of mind
  • Rutland, VT
  • The Weisman Institute for the Criminally Insane
  • Dr. Rachel Weisman
  • Jeremy Stevens
  • Part of why we like following X-books over time
  • Character redesigns

CORRECTION: In addition to being the setting of a number of 1970s Marvel and DC stories, Rutland, VT is actually a real place with a famous annual (and largely superhero-themed) Halloween parade!

NEXT EPISODE: What X-Factor’s been up to

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!