Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/30/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Spoiler: They will be back next issue. (New Mutants #51)
“If they’d learned anything from me, they’d be faking their own deaths!” (New Mutants #51)
DRAMA! (New Mutants #51)
No, the OTHER Plan Omega. (New Mutants #51)
Kevin Nowlan draws a rad Hepzibah. (New Mutants #51)
PROFESSOR XAVIER IS A JERK. (New Mutants #51)
“Well, I should probably see what the study group thinks, but I’m thinking fuchsia.” (New Mutants #51)
Sebastian Shaw takes dress codes seriously. (New Mutants #51)
She even LOOKS like she stepped off a power metal album cover. (New Mutants #52)
HE’S NOT WRONG. (New Mutants #52)
Aw, kiddo. (New Mutants #52)
Fighting xenomorphs, from the look of it. (New Mutants #52)
Love the body language on this page. (New Mutants #52)
We keep saying that this whole era feels like an inexorable escalation toward Inferno, and, yeah. That. (New Mutants #52)
I was gonna make a “subtext: not just for the ladies” joke, but I’m pretty sure it’s just text at this point. (New Mutants #53)
Aw, man. (New Mutants #53)
TWIST! Don’t worry, this’ll come back up eventually. (New Mutants #53)
“…But can you take them anywhere?” Spoiler: NO. No, you can’t. (New Mutants #53)
Magik intimidating Empath is the gift that keeps on giving. (New Mutants #53)
Make good choices, Cypher! (New Mutants #53)
Or, y’know, not. (New Mutants #53)
Sam Guthrie: Everyone’s best big brother. (New Mutants #54)
“I love you, but I have to leave the team because your costumes are SO BAD.” (New Mutants #54)
SO, THAT HAPPENED. (New Mutants #54)
Has anyone else noticed that Doug’s superhero career is basically a series of dress rehearsals for his eventual death. (New Mutants #54)
I genuinely can’t tell if this is a good burn or not: on one hand, the New Mutants’ costumes are objectively way worse; but on the other hand, the Hellions’ costumes are way more circus-y. (New Mutants #54)
NEXT WEEK: It’s hard to be Havok.
LINKS:
If you’re curious about the Starjammers, go listen to Episode 7 – Cyclops Has a Good Day, in which we discuss them at length with Greg Rucka.
The podcast where two dudes watch and review Grown Ups 2 every week is an actual, real thing, which you can listen to here.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/30/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which the New Mutants return from space; Professor Xavier ruins everything; Magneto is the Craig Pelton of X-Men; Cypher carouses shamefully with Hellfire tramps; Karma quits the team; and we wrap up Chris Claremont’s New Mutants run.
X-PLAINED:
Leong and Nga Coy Manh
New Mutants #51-54
The Starjammers (again)
The paradox of Professor X
Several dramatic speeches
The Hellfire Club for Creative Anachronism
Plan Omega (but not that one)
A fairly epic dress-code violation
Magik vs. Limbo
A very specific bit of fancasting
Best Magneto
What X-fans (may or may not) live for
A well-wrought nightmare
Hellion disambiguation
Doug Ramsey’s Fancy Hair
New Mutants X Frank Zappa
Wacky teen hijinks at the Hellfire Club
Carousing shamefully with Hellfire tramps
A heroic challenge
A counterintuitive heart’s desire
Claremont’s New Mutants run.
Libraries
Emma Frost’s accent
The sounds of blastin’
NEXT WEEK: It’s hard to be Havok.
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Who needs a Danger Room when you can hone your battlefield skills AND rack up EXP against a Beholder? The X-Men gather ‘round the gaming table for some all-new, all-different training in August’s shirt of the month, featuring art by David Wynne!
In addition to covering your torso and impressing your friends and neighbors, the August, 2015 shirt of the months grants +1 on continuity-related checks.* It’s available on a wide variety of wearables, including kids’ clothes; as well as tote bags, travel mugs, and stickers!
NOTE: This is a limited-run shirt! It will DISAPPEAR FOREVER from the shop on September 1, 2015; get ’em while they last!
*Results not guaranteed in actual gameplay. Always run house rules by your GM. Not recommended for use against gazebos.
The visual companion to Episode 68 will be up a little late, because we’ve been moving all weekend. Meanwhile, please enjoy a sneak peek at our new home, which can double as a rousing game of Spot the Anna!
In which we catch our breath after the Mutant Massacre; Miles’s taste is both epic and adorable; Dazzler’s Achilles heel is fame; Madelyne Pryor; it’s hard to be a teenage ghost; Crimson Commando is not actually Frank Borman (but we wish he were); Wolverine may or may not make truck noises; Heroes for Hope is profoundly baffling; and Sunspot would definitely be way into Leslie Knope.
X-PLAINED:
Several untimely deaths
Uncanny X-Men #214-216
Heroes for Hope
The post-Mutant Massacre X-Men
Malice
Another set of Phoenix callbacks
The Murder Grandpas
Crimson Commando
Super Sabre
Stonewall
Actual superhero Marsha P. Johnson
Priscilla the jerk
Wolverine SFX
Some fairly spectacular misunderstandings
One hell of a jam comic
X-costumes
A Thomas Magnum for 21st-century X-kids
NEXT WEEK: Elle Collins and Graeme McMillan X-Plain Beast’s solo adventures!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/19/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
And so it begins. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Dazzler vs. Dazzler. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
We’d make a joke about taking a drink for every X-Men/X-Factor near miss, but you’d die of alcohol poisoning before the end of the crossover. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Aw, Colossus. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Not sure why Alanis Morisette didn’t bring this up in “Ironic.” (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Good job Kitty. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Well, damn. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
There’s something really unsettlingly cheery and Silver-Age about this page. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
No idea who the purple individual is, which is a shame, because they seem awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
STORM, NO! DON’T SPLIT THE PARTY! (Uncanny X-Men #211)
Whoa. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
This is the closest they’ll come to an actual conversation until Inferno. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
Whoops. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
So, THAT happened. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
SO, THAT HAPPENED. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
Dani Moonstar’s powers are METAL AS FUCK. (New Mutants #46)
“My powers are limited to the counterculture.” (New Mutants #46)
Powerlessness and the sense of being able to accomplish too little too late are pervasive themes in the Mutant Massacre. (New Mutants #46)
Everything’s sadder when teenagers are reacting to it. (New Mutants #46)
Well, shit. (New Mutants #46)
How have they not learned to listen to Doug by now? He is ALWAYS RIGHT. (New Mutants #46)
Cold, Wolverine. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
In her defense, everything is in fact well and truly fucked. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
And again. See what I meant about the alcohol-poisoning thing? (Uncanny X-Men #212)
You can, however, take a drink when Storm takes off her clothes for no clear reason. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
First mention of the man with the plan! (Uncanny X-Men #212)
Well done, Wolverine! (Uncanny X-Men #212)
I don’t care who you are: Callisto is better at leadership than you. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
It’s cool. It’s just Thor; we’ll be covering that stuff next episode. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
Psylocke’s psychic projection is adorable and also super creepy. (Uncanny X-Men #213)
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/19/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which we hit the first big X-centric crossover; a lot of Morlocks die; X-Factor is a dark farce; Kitty Pryde talks down a mob without using racial slurs; when Doug Ramsey tells you there’s a problem, you listen; and Callisto should be one of the iconic leaders of the Marvel Universe.
X-PLAINED:
Death by intellectual-property dispute
The Mutant Massacre
Mutant Massacres that might have been
Uncanny X-Men #210-213
New Mutants #46
The Marauders
The best way to guarantee the New Mutants’ involvement in a storyline
Limbo fashion
The responsibility of leadership
Wolverine vs. Sabretooth
Psylocke vs. Sabretooth
The evolution of crossovers
Characters we’d like to see more of post-Secret Wars
NEXT WEEK: The Mutant Massacre, Part 2!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Can we take a moment to acknowledge how rad this cover is? Because it is pretty darn rad. (New Mutants Annual #2)
It really, really sucks to be Psylocke a lot of the time. (New Mutants Annual #2)
I’m gonna go with “because you are absolutely delightful,” Doug. (New Mutants Annual #2)
TELEVISION IS BAD FOR YOU. (New Mutants Annual #2)
It also sucks to be Captain Britain fairly frequently, although still generally less than it sucks to be Psylocke. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Illyana is the best at chores. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Mojo is the best at being TERRIFYING. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Well, then. (New Mutants Annual #2)
No, not THAT Jubilee. The other Jubilee. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Warlock has some parent issues. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Subtext: not just for the ladies! (New Mutants Annual #2)
Somewhere in this, there’s a metaphor about unprotected sex. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Dang, Psylocke. (New Mutants Annual #2)
“Aw” or “Ew,” depending on your vague guess at Betsy’s age at this point in continuity. (New Mutants Annual #2)
While X-Men and New Mutants will shortly start crossing over in the series proper, this was the second consecutive year they had interconnected annuals. (X-Men Annual #10)
Danger Room open. Take a drink. (X-Men Annual #10)
VALID QUESTIONS. (X-Men Annual #10)
Welcome to the X-Men, Longshot! Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men Annual #10)
Teen Magneto always looks super smug, presumably because of his excellent hair. (X-Men Annual #10)
Meet the proto-X-Babies! (X-Men Annual #10)
Fun fact: For a long time, Wolverine’s claws were believed to be–and written as–technology rather than an aspect of his mutation. (X-Men Annual #10)
These graduation costumes look like things you would make someone wear as part of some kind of oblique punishment. (X-Men Annual #10)
The second round of graduation costumes weren’t much better. (New Mutants #61)
Darla is inexplicably dressed as Li’l Orphan Annie, which might make this a meta cameo. (X-Men Annual #10)
These costumes are not okay, but Magneto’s is 100% less okay than any of the others. (Note: in other panels, the arm band is generally colored red.) (X-Men Annual #10)
I am totally willing to believe that the Simonsons can comprehend the language of beasts, or at least of Thor’s frog bros. (X-Men Annual #10)
The X-Men are uncharacteristically bloodthirsty throughout this issue. (X-Men Annual #10)
ART CHALLENGE: Design a new graduationcostume for one or more of the New Mutants! Send your designs to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, with the subject line GRADUATION, and we’ll collect ‘em on the blog at the end of the week!
In which cartoon logic is terrifying; it’s immensely frustrating to be Doug Ramsey; Psylock gets evil robot eyes; queer subtext is not just for the ladies; Danger Room cold opens are the new Kitty’s costume changes; Mojo predicts reality TV; Longshot joins the X-Men; and we answer what may be the best question we have ever gotten.
X-PLAINED:
Captain Britain Corps
Alan Davis
New Mutants Annual #2
X-Men Annual #10
Captain Britain (Brian Braddock)
Psylocke (Betsy Braddock)
Slaymaster
Mojo
Why cartoon logic is terrifying
Animal Man vol. 1 #5, “The Coyote Gospel” (Incorrectly described as “The Ballad of Wile E. Coyote” in episode)
Wildways
Robot eyes
Template
Snitch
Straight Arrow
Jubilee (but not that Jubilee)
The trouble with determining character ages in superhero comics
The stated mission of the New Mutants
The proto-X-Babies
Longshot’s X-Men debut
The New Mutants’ graduation costumes
A really charged costume choice
Tonal shifts in New Mutants
X-Men vs. geese
NEXT WEEK: APOCALYPSE NOW!
ART CHALLENGE: Design a new graduationcostume for one or more of the New Mutants! Send your designs to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, with the subject line GRADUATION, and we’ll collect ‘em on the blog at the end of the week!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Special thanks to Ryan Hill for this week’s art, and to Claire Miller for the research X-Pertise!
In which Storm ends, Wolverines drags on, and Secret Wars continues to be unsettlingly good.
REVIEWED:
Magneto #18 (0:27)
Storm #11 (2:59)
Wolverines #18 (5:38)
Uncanny Avengers #4 (7:19)
*Secret Wars #2 (9:54)
*Pick of the week (13:19)
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. These video reviews–and everything else here–are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!