Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Spider-Man

As Mentioned in Episode 455 – Space, Geeks, and Galactus

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Where the streets have no [right angles in their fr]ame (X-Men #89)
“Hey, this gravestone’s taken! Get your own!” (X-Men #89)
Perhaps our very favorite Spider-Man. (X-Men #89)
Still more competent than the Great Lakes Avengers. (X-Men #89)
Kitty meets “Kitty”. (X-Men #89)
PICTURED: the computer lab Jay and Miles worked in back in college. (X-Men #89)
You’re all dead! And wear red! And from your employers you have fled! (X-Men #89)
Just a hell of a nice cover. (Uncanny X-Men #370)
I mean, Fake-Vision’s not wrong. (Uncanny X-Men #370)
“Over”-acting? I don’t understand what that phrase means. (Uncanny X-Men #370)
“As you know, Skrull-Bob…” (Uncanny X-Men #370)
That is an exceptionally Muppet-y Skrull. (Uncanny X-Men #370)
Superbeings to the left of me, space pirates to the right… (Uncanny X-Men #370)
Skrull-ternative medicine. (Uncanny X-Men #370)
Hey, those Skrulls are Muppet-y too! (X-Men #90)
In which Alan Davis draws everybody. (X-Men #90)
Okay, so Professor X’s plan doesn’t work, but… hell of a speech, Chuck. (X-Men #90)
“I said just a little off the top!” (X-Men #90)
Welp, here we go. (X-Men #90)
Who designed this thing?! (X-Men #90)
Well damn. (X-Men #90)
“You come around here often, reflection?” (X-Men #90)
NEXT TIME: Douglock’s back!

455 – Space, Geeks, and Galactus

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In which Roadhouse is basically a Wolverine story; Spider-Man does crimes; space names are derivative; there are lots of good reasons to yell at Professor Xavier; the X-Men do Doctor Who; Galactus is not interested in your puny human feelings; Marrow gets a new look; the Skrulls need a crash course in UI; and we overthink bones.

X-PLAINED:

  • The time the Skrulls did “A Piece of the Action”
  • The trouble with benevolent dictatorships
  • X-Men #89-90
  • Uncanny X-Men #370
  • A New York City that is not in fact New York City
  • “Spider-Man”
  • A ruse
  • Faces
  • Skrull problems
  • Mar-Vell
  • Adam Warlock
  • Sass vs. joviality
  • Skrull Cop City
  • Disguises
  • Nova (Frankie Raye)
  • How Galactus eats planets
  • Condiments
  • Several melees
  • Bone pubes
  • Skrull UI
  • Whether Moopsy could drink Wolverine’s bones
  • X-Musicals

NEXT EPISODE: The return of Douglock!

The Roald Dahl short story whose title Jay couldn’t recall is “Beware of the Dog.”

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 450 – Live at the Clinton Street Theater

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A smooth criminal. (Uncanny X-Men #428)
X-Men: First Class: The Draco (Uncanny X-Men #428)
Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #428)
I love that Wolverine tries to stop nude Nightcrawler from stealing the plane by throwing a beer can at it. (Uncanny X-Men #429)
You’d think he could at least let the cafeteria staff know he was planning on sleeping in there. (Uncanny X-Men #429)
Annie, no. (Uncanny X-Men #429)
This Hell sucks. (Uncanny X-Men #431)
And then Mystique flew violently out of a child’s abdomen, in one of the less bizarre scenes in this story arc. (Uncanny X-Men #431)
Dinner in Hell. (Uncanny X-Men #432)
*grumble grumble Daimon Hellstrom grumble* (Uncanny X-Men #432)
So, that happened. (Uncanny X-Men #433)
Either, really. (Uncanny X-Men #434)
Ginniyeh is the only remotely adequate demon in this arc. (Uncanny X-Men #434)
Awkward. (Uncanny X-Men #434)
NEXT EPISODE: Business as usual.

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE

450 – Live at the Clinton Street Theater

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In which we celebrate our tenth anniversary by X-Plaining what may be the most reviled X-arc; you should not try this at home; Mystique is so much better than this story; Azazel is a really boring devil; Nightcrawler should probably be missing a hand; the Xavier School definitely does not have an HR department; and we would prefer that you not pee on Iceman.

X-PLAINED:

  • Nightcrawler’s (most recent) parentage
  • Uncanny X-Men #428-434
  • X-Men Blue: Origins #1
  • The X-Men, like, in general
  • Nightcrawler (Kurt Wagner)
  • Some narrative choices
  • Mystique
  • Baron Christian Wagner
  • Marvel Europe
  • Azazel
  • Church sex
  • Nightstreaker
  • Isla des Demonas
  • Foibles of Warren Kenneth Worthington III
  • Annie and Carter Ghazikhanian
  • Abyss
  • Kiwi Black
  • The Cheyarafim and Neyaphem
  • Bad times with psychic therapy
  • Post-traumatic supervillainy
  • Uncool Hell
  • A miracle of magnetism
  • The only cool thing in Uncool Hell
  • A very elegant retcon
  • X-Muppets
  • Characters who deserve more page space
  • Miles’s favorite X-Person
  • What the Worthington Corporation does
  • A character who could reasonably be Azazel’s kid

NEXT EPISODE: Back to X-business as usual!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 394 – We All Have to Go Sometime

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
It’s the OZT broadcast that keeps on giving! (X-Men #66)
Cecilia Reyes, reluctant hero. (X-Men #66)
I really thought this was a callback to a bit of Iceman’s Silver Age origin story, but it is not. (X-Men #66)
Here for the meme. (X-Men #66)
Sabra, puncher of cars, owner of the world’s most durable bra. (X-Men #67)
Speaking of callbacks. (X-Men #68)
I know that Marrow is not actually supposed to be kicking herself in the face here, but I can’t see it any other way. (X-Men #68)
Can you imagine a more awkward person to get stuck in a bathroom conversation with than Henry Peter Gyrich? (X-Men #68)
Again, here for your Internet use. (X-Men #68)
Sabra’s costume is fairly cool. (X-Men #68)
HOW DOES SHE SAY THAT MUCH WHILE JUMPING OUT OF THE WATER DOLPHIN-STYLE? (X-Men #69)
And that’s that, sort of. (X-Men #69)
NEXT EPISODE: Bastion and his fleshy appendages!

LINKS & FURTHER LIFE LESSONS:

As Mentioned in Episode 392 – The Mullet of Leadership

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Venice Beach. (Generation X #29)
Sunglasses shopping with Husk and M. (Generation X #29)
Disguises! (Generation X #29)
The Sugar Bombs have to be a Calvin and Hobbes nod, right? (Generation X #29)
This kid, man. (Generation X #29)
Does anyone know who these three are supposed to be? (Generation X #29)
Still cool, but not as cool as when they were bugs. (Generation X #29)
Emma, no! (Generation X #30)
Bachalo’s Prime Sentinels are pretty fun. (Generation X #31)
This kid was like sixteen two issues ago. (Generation X #31)
Wheeee! (Generation X #31)
FINALLY! (Generation X #31)
He kind of deserves it, though. (Uncanny X-Men #346)
You tell ‘im, JJJ! (Uncanny X-Men #346)
NEXT EPISODE: Camping trip!

392 – The Mullet of Leadership

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Chris Bachalo changes things up; we theorize about Prime Sentinel hierarchy; the headmasters go undercover; fictional characters spend a lot of time in sewers; M’s secret comes to light; J. Jonah Jameson is at his best in X-books; Jay pitches a video game; Marrow gets a makeover; and part of journalistic integrity is choosing what not to cover.

X-PLAINED:

  • Banshee, recently
  • Generation X #29-31
  • Uncanny X-Men #346
  • Bastion
  • Daria
  • Leave It to Chance
  • Miguela Torres
  • Venice Beach
  • Skin’s cousin Gil
  • Inconsistencies that may or may not be deliberate
  • Jolt Cola™
  • Yet another take on Prime Sentinels
  • The Mullet of Leadership
  • A cool kid
  • Cat drama
  • DOA (again)
  • Cars
  • A kiss
  • Several attempted murders
  • Marrow’s appearance
  • Boyd and Mathers
  • X-fighting games
  • Mutant leadership philosophies

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men cleverly disguised as Wolverine

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 369 – Carly Askani

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
“This ought to give you” *POW* “a new perspective” *BIFF* “on things, Alex!” (Uncanny X-Men #339)
Head trauma for Lucas BIshop! (Uncanny X-Men #339)
I mean, she’s not wrong. (Uncanny X-Men #339)
“You think I just fell off the turnip truck, McCoy? No one pulls a fast one on J. Jonah Jameson!” (Uncanny X-Men #339)
“I’m Ororo Munroe, and I’m here to x-plain the X-Men… because it’s about time someone did.” (Uncanny X-Men #339)
Never trust a Summers when he tells you he’s fine. (Uncanny X-Men #339)
Well, if they can print it, I guess we can post it. (X-Men #59)
Head trauma for Lucas Bishop! Again! (X-Men #59)
Hell of a Wolverine you’ve got there, Mr. Kubert. (X-Men #59)
JOSEPH I AM CALLING THE POLICE (X-Men #59)
Not quite as good as the Rogue/Gambit kiss from #41, but still… whoa. (X-Men #59)
I’M HUGE (X-Men #59)
“For instance, I can see through this utterly massive chin.” (Wolverine Annual 1996)
Josef Stalin..? (Wolverine Annual 1996)
Up… (Wolverine Annual 1996)
…and up… (Wolverine Annual 1996)
…and up. (Wolverine Annual 1996)
“General Grievious, sir, it’s the Jedi!” (Wolverine Annual 1996)
You know, I think this might be Sunfire’s best non-Age of Apocalypse look! (Wolverine Annual 1996)
*Pacific Rim music plays* (and now it’s in your head too) (Wolverine Annual 1996)
Logan, that… that was there before. Maybe you need to adjust your bandana. (Wolverine Annual 1996)
NEXT TIME: The Silver Age with Max Carleton!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

369 – Carly Askani

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Storm & Joseph X-Plain the X-Men, Alex Summers is not brainwashed this time, he promises, Scott Lobdell writes better moments than stories, Ed McGuinness draws very large chins, and it’s Denver the Last Dinosaur, not Denver the Lost Dinosaur

X-PLAINED:

  • Uncanny X-Men #339
  • Spider-Man disambiguation
  • A. Kubert disambiguation
  • J. Jonah Jameson (again) (hooray!)
  • Sneaking songs
  • The history of smoking regulation on airlines
  • Creed disambiguation
  • Havok’s Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
  • Bonding while falling out of planes
  • X-Men #59
  • The copyright status of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
  • Well-drawn Wolverines
  • Hercules vs The Tick
  • Wolverine Annual 1996
  • The tragic death of Mariko Yashida
  • Silver Samurai (Kuniuchio Harada)
  • Sunfire (Shiro Yoshida) and what he’s been up to since Fatal Attractions
  • Josef Stalin, apparently?
  • Red Ronin and its nemesis, a time-lost dinosaur who we assure you is not Godzilla
  • Jedi and/or samurai vs. doors
  • Our logo fonts
  • James Howlett, guidance counselor
  • Onslaught but not evil
  • Whether Magneto could wield Mjolnir

NEXT EPISODE: The Silver Age with Max Carleton!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 355 – All Sentinels Are Bastards

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
See, this is why I’ll never drive in New York. (Amazing Spider-Man #415)
“Did I say guardian angels? I meant guardian spiders. Hey, things were different in the sixties.” (Amazing Spider-Man #415)
What year did this comic come out? Oh, right. 1996. (Amazing Spider-Man #415)
“Also, my son is a magical astronaut werewolf, and he’d stay and help!” (Amazing Spider-Man #415)
Inkers don’t get enough respect. (Spider-Man #72)
Jeez, even the Sentinels have traffic jams! What did I say about never driving in New York? (Spider-Man #72)
Weekend At Spider-Bernie’s. (Spider-Man #72)
Aww, these kids. (Spider-Man #72)
Now this is how you Spider-Man. (Spider-Man #72)
Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 1. (Green Goblin #12)
Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 2. (Green Goblin #12)
Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 3. (Green Goblin #12)
Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 4. (Green Goblin #12)
Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 5. (Green Goblin #12)
Phillip Urich’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Part 6. (Green Goblin #12)
Frank Punisher is in over his head. (Punisher #11)
“A mustache and a wing-suit? Those student loans were worth every cent!” (Punisher #11)
This has never once happened in the history of the Marvel Universe. Never. Once. (Punisher #11)
The speech bubble says DOGS but the jet-ski says DOGZ – I don’t know who to believe! (Punisher #11)
Cap’n Bloodscream smiles approvingly from the next ship over. (Punisher #11)
“And I just had some firemen hose me down, so I am ready for this.” (Punisher #11)
NEXT TIME: End-slaught.