In which one letter can make a big difference; it’s just not Arcade without giant pinballs; Colossus is nobody’s fool; Margali Szardos is not a relative you want to stay in touch with; Nightcrawler turns to the jerk side; and Jay and Miles pitch an X-Men kids’ show.
X-PLAINED:
Elisabeth Wilford vs. Elizabeth Wilford
Colossus #1
X-Men Unlimited #19
How to name a miniseries or one-shot
The destructive potential of happiness
A clock
An inaccurate duplicate of Avalon
The return of the Proletarian
Costumes with characters’ faces on them
Death by irony
A journey to Limbo
Several blasts from the past
Margali Szardos’s head
Foreshadowing that we desperately wish had panned out
Cold open curation
A hypothetical X-Men show for five-year-olds
NEXT EPISODE: The secret origin of Maggott
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Honestly, I kinda wish Cable had sported this look for longer. (Cable #-1)
THE BOW TIE (Cable #-1)
Cable’s future may be kind of dystopian, but it’s also rad as hell. (Cable #-1)
Damn, bro. (Cable #-1)
On one hand, yes, he’s very dashing. On the other hand, they are definitely foster siblings. (Excalibur #-1)
Hey, we know that guy! (Excalibur #-1)
This is Sabu. Don’t get attached. (Excalibur #-1)
Harry Leland knows how to dress to impress. (Generation X #-1)
I know it’s a byproduct of the foreshortening plus slightly murky colors, but from at least one angle, it looks like Hank has a human-skin rug. (Generation X #-1)
And then they never talked to or mentioned each other again. (Generation X #-1)
Rachel’s cloak is SO GOOD. (Uncanny X-Men #-1)
this genocidal disco motherfucker (Uncanny X-Men #-1)
In which Jay returns; babies are bad at pretty much everything; continuity flies straight out the window; Cable should speak English with a Scottish accent; Harry Leland knows how to dress; Tanya Trask makes the same time travel mistake everyone makes; and we love Al Kennedy forever.
X-PLAINED:
Sentry (but not that one)
Babies
Flashback
Cable #-1
Excalibur #-1
Generation X #-1
Uncanny X-Men #-1
The preturn of Angus McWhirter, angry hovercraft-rental guy
Hippie Cable
Veins of science
Yet another time travel loop
What may or may not be how Nightcrawler quit the circus
Sabu
“Science”
A large volume of dubious continuity
Larry Trask (more) (again)
Jay’s cosplay aspirations
Sanctity (Tanya Trask)
The Twelve (somewhat)
A possible splinter timeline
The X-Men of 1602
Rube Goldberg
NEXT EPISODE: Flashback continues!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Excalibur gets a regular writer again; we judge a book against against its covers; nothing good ever comes from being sexy on Muir Isle; and the soul sword’s real power is cutting through continuity.
X-PLAINED:
Stegron
Dinosaur powers
Excalibur #83-85 (The Soul Sword Trilogy)
Warren Ellis on Excalibur
Excalibur (more) (again)
Bends Sinister and Bend Sinister
Outsider days
Mail
Boundaries
Darkoth
Gravemoss
The Winding Way
Shrill
A problematic prosthesis
Roger Corman’s The Raven
A large number of continuity errors
Gratuitous dickery
An untold tale
The semantics of skin removal
Possession vs. retrograde amnesia
The circle of nostalgia
NEXT EPISODE: Jorts Unlimited!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
He’s not wrong; he’s just an asshole. (New Mutants #71)
Aw, kiddo. (New Mutants #71)
There’s a lot of more overtly awful stuff S’ym has done, but very little of it gets under my skin as badly as this scene. (New Mutants #71)
Brett Blevins’ Inferno might be the best Inferno. (New Mutants #71)
WELL, THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY. (New Mutants #71)
N’astirh Guy(TM) (New Mutants #71)
Nothing that begins with this line ever ends well. (New Mutants #71)
Okay. This looks bad. (New Mutants #71)
On its own, this is a perfectly serviceable cover; but it’s also a subtle and pretty brutal nod to the last issue of the Magik miniseries. (New Mutants #72)
Possibly the most metal title page to ever appear in an X-book. (New Mutants #72)
Calling it: Blevins’s is my hands-down favorite take on Inferno-infested New York. (New Mutants #72)
GAH. (New Mutants #72)
And now, a brief and delightful respite from the tragedy playing out in the A plot. (New Mutants #72)
Savor this moment: it’s not often you get to see New Mutants making a responsible choice! (New Mutants #72)
WELL, THEN. (New Mutants #72)
N’astirh levels up… (New Mutants #72)
…But so does Illyana. (New Mutants #72)
Death of Supergirl homage cover. Take a drink. (New Mutants #73)
T-O S’ym is so creepy, y’all. (New Mutants #73)
THERE ARE NOT ADEQUATE WORDS FOR HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS PAGE. (New Mutants #73)
That Colossus makes room in his rather minimal uniform for a photo wallet is kind of adorable an very much in character. (New Mutants #73)
“And that’s what you get for teaching new math!” (New Mutants #73)
We didn’t think of this until after the episode was recorded, but Illyana’s final armored form bears a lot of resemblance to her brother’s. (New Mutants #73)
This dude is pretty great. (New Mutants #73)
The Darkchilde in her final form. (New Mutants #73)
And so it ends… (New Mutants #73)
…or does it? (New Mutants #73)
“Or stick around in the background and then die of the Legacy Virus and come back like 20 years later without a soul. The point is, you’ve got options.” (New Mutants #73)
NEXT WEEK: The rise of the Goblin Queen.
LINKS AND FURTHER LISTENING:
We discussed the Magik miniseries in Episode 19 – Acorns and Swords.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which everyone’s got Inferno issues; Brett Blevins makes it work; Belasco is conspicuously absent from Inferno; you should never go into Hell barefoot; the greatest X-Men stories are about loss; and Illyana Rasputin finally gets a fairy tale ending.
X-PLAINED
Tempus (Eva Bell)
Storm and Illyana: Magik #1-4 (briefly)
The two major Inferno plotlines
New Mutants #71-73
The best of Brett Blevins
The rise and fall of Magik
The ethics of time-travel interventions
A weaponized retcon
N’astirh Guy™
A chair that is also a moral event horizon
A significant soul-armor upgrade
Several variations on a chapter title
Possessed New York
An overly complex conspiracy theory
A bittersweet reunion
The Kobayashi Maru scenario as applied to X-Men
An even more bittersweet victory (of sorts)
The eventual return of Magik (sort of)
Why it’s really irresponsible to affiliate your school with a superhero team
Our favorite versions of Wolfsbane’s transitional form
NEXT WEEK:
The Rise of the Goblin Queen!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/17/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Bobby makes some valid points. (New Mutants #36)
Remember being fourteen? (And also a mutant superhero?) (New Mutants #36)
Damnit, Beyonder. (New Mutants #36)
Hey, look! It’s a literal derailment in the middle of a metaphorical derailment! (New Mutants #36)
Don’t you hate it when your best friend’s soul gets split by a cosmic force and suddenly you’re stuck with her eldritch armor, weapon, and amulet, when all you really wanted was a library book? Yeah, us, too. (New Mutants #36)
Not even being brainwashed and absorbed into a cosmic hive-mind can come between Cannonball and his classic science fiction allusions. (New Mutants #36)
Aw, Illyana. (New Mutants #36)
This cover = Rachel’s definitive Beyonder. (New Mutants #37)
The New Mutants have the best incidental moments by a wide margin. (New Mutants #37)
Seriously: WHO THE HELL IS THAT ABOVE RAHNE? (New Mutants #37)
Relevant metaphor is relevant. (New Mutants #37)
THE BEYONDER IS A DICK. (New Mutants #37)
THAT IS NO EXCUSE. (New Mutants #37)
The Beyonder comes off as a petulant child in a lot of Secret Wars, but in New Mutants, he’s legitimately terrifying. (New Mutants #37)
Headcanon: In Marvel Asgard, there is at least one legit full-length saga about this storyline, focused on Dani. (New Mutants #37)
This cover. This scene. This series. (New Mutants #38)
Of all the scenes in all the issues of New Mutants, NONE has ever stuck with Rachel as hard as this one. (New Mutants #38)
Aw, kids. (New Mutants #38)
YES (New Mutants #38)
Is there a better pep talk than a pep talk from FROG THOR? We think not. (New Mutants #38)
Warlock, you delightful scamp! (New Mutants #38)
Empath is the worst ever forever. (New Mutants #38)
That “Next Issue” blurb, tho. (New Mutants #38)
Another memorable cover. (New Mutants #39)
Aw, man. (New Mutants #39)
Sadneto. (New Mutants #39)
Keith Pollard’s Emma is so good. (New Mutants #39)
It just DOES NOT STOP SUCKING to be Tom and Sharon. (New Mutants #39)
Madneto! (New Mutants #39)
Emma Frost, you sneaky person! (New Mutants #39)
WARLOCK IS THE BLACKBIRD. YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID. (New Mutants #40)
Magneto is trying so hard to be the man he promised Xavier he’d be. Poor guy. (New Mutants #40)
Really, Cap? Really? You gonna go there? (New Mutants #40)
Teacher Magneto might be the best Magneto. Definitely one of the most critically unremembered and underused. (New Mutants #40)
Aw, New Mutants. (New Mutants #40)
The perfect Emma Frost moment. (New Mutants #40)
Next Week: Angel in tiny briefs (more) (again), too much Tower, and the dubious debut of Apocalypse!
LINKS AND FURTHER READING:
Yaybo! Marvel Unlimited added New Mutants #36-40 just in time for this episode (starting here)!
In terms of formative influence, Kyle Baker’s Why I Hate Saturn was basically Rachel’s third parent.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/17/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which nothing comes between Sam Guthrie and his classic sci-fi allusions; Sunspot tries; the Beyonder is really scary; you can have Danielle Moonstar’s agency when you pry it from her cold, dead hands; Empath remains the worst kid; Tom Corsi and Sharon Friedlander just cannot catch a break; Emma Frost gets nuanced; Magneto does the wrong things for the right reasons; Rachel and Miles like liking things; and we finally wrap up Secret Wars II.
X-PLAINED:
Soulsword custody
New Mutants #36-40
The best Secret Wars II tie-in
Several Beyonder-triggered crises of confidence
A literal derailment in the midst of a metaphorical derailment
The Greek tragedy of Illyana Rasputin
Personal personifications of death
Counting coup
The death of the New Mutants
Crossover-related PTSD
A pep talk from a frog
Art style as a component of narrative
The Hellions (again)
Sadneto
Madneto
A completely avoidable fight
Rachel’s definitive Emma Frost moment
Emma Frost, Charles Xavier, and moral culpability
NEXT WEEK: The dubious debut of Apocalypse!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
