Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Skids

As Mentioned in Episode 117 – How to Pee Like a Supervillain

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Babies, amirite? (New Mutants #74)
At least we know from a previous panel that they’ve both already washed their hands. (New Mutants #74)
IT’S CANON: No fighting in the Hellfire Club bathrooms. (New X-Men #142)
Warlock is adorable and Ship is adorable and everything is adorable. (New Mutants #74)
This cannot end anything but well. (New Mutants #74)
“Have you learned nothing about foreshadowing crossover events?” (New Mutants #75)
“We’re gonna go hang out with Namor! He’d never start a war!” (New Mutants #75)
I want to go to school on Ship. (New Mutants #76)
Possibly the purest distillation of Doctor Doom as a character. (Spidey Super Stories #53)
Boom Boom, like Doom, does what she wants. (New Mutants #76)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (New Mutants #76)
This man is unflaggingly delightful. (New Mutants #76)
“Again?” (New Mutants #76)
NOPE. (New Mutants #76)
(2 of 2) (Astonishing X-Men #12)
NEXT EPISODE: Trolls!

 

117 – How to Pee Like a Supervillain

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Gossamyr definitely probably doesn’t get blown up; we engage in a long and surprisingly canon-based exploration of Hellfire Club bathroom etiquette; the New Mutants break up with Magneto; you should probably never go swimming in the Marvel Universe; and it is possible (but unlikely) that Jay yells “IMPERIUS REX” more than is strictly necessary.

X-PLAINED

  • New Son/New Sun
  • Post-Inferno New Mutants
  • New Mutants #74-76
  • Babies
  • Ship shipping
  • Inanimate objects Warlock has attempted to befriend
  • Hellfire Club bathroom etiquette
  • A long-anticipated showdown
  • Magneto’s on-again-off-again children
  • The Mutant Wars
  • The Grey King (but not The Grey King)
  • Undersea creatures that have no business near New York
  • An Atlantean artificat of dubious provenance
  • How to deter a giant and possibly supernatural octopus
  • Recycled powers
  • Friendly sentinels

NOTE: The Dispossessed is in fact by Ursula K. Le Guin.

NEXT EPISODE: Trolls!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 106 – The X-Terminators

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Hi, Bill Gaines! (X-Terminators #1)
In which Bogdanove goes full Silver-Age romance-cover! (X-Terminators #1)
And so it was. (X-Terminators #1)
Wellp. (X-Terminators #1)
Can Bogdanove draw Boom Boom forever, please? (X-Terminators #1)
THIS KID IS AWESOME. (X-Terminators #1)
The cartoonishness of this series is really, really fun. (X-Terminators #1)
“Classic goblin behavior.” Did she learn about this in school? (X-Terminators #1)
JAIL BREAK TIME! (X-Terminators #1)
Boom Boom vs. vending machines. (X-Terminators #2)
I love the extent to which Hostess Fruit Pies became a running joke within actual Marvel comics. (X-Terminators #2)
So doomed. (X-Terminators #2)
This is probably a little too niche to describe as “every parent’s worst nightmare,” but I’m sure it hit home for someone. (X-Terminators #2)
#WINNING (X-Terminators #2)
Seriously, though–wouldn’t it be funnier if this were just a regular Viewmaster? (X-Terminators #2)
I can’t find the Ghostbusters production photo this is an homage to, but I swear it exists. (X-Terminators #3)
The living landscape of NYC quickly becomes legitimately terrifying, without ever quite losing its cartoonishness. (X-Terminators #3)
Incidental transitional panel, or hidden pitch for a whole new series? (X-Terminators #3)
Magic spells are ridiculous. (X-Terminators #3)
THOSE FACES. (X-Terminators #4)
You know that feeling when a crossover flies in from nowhere and whacks you in the back of the head? Yeah. (X-Terminators #4)
OKAY, THEN. (X-Terminators #4)
Wouldn’t that be multiplying it by 100? (X-Terminators #4)
Are… pigeons particularly notorious for meekly accepting destruction? Is that a thing? (X-Terminators #4)
And they all lived happily ever–HA, NO, JUST KIDDING. GO READ NEW MUTANTS. (X-Terminators #4)
NEXT WEEK: The fall of Magik.

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

106 – The X-Terminators

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Nextwave is both canon and not-canon; Inferno officially begins; X-Terminators is basically a cartoon; Bill Gaines cannot catch a break; Artie and Leach are superbabies; Takeshi Matsuya is fantastic; you should probably never take our advice about anything; Boom Boom is pretty good at superhero costume design; Walter Peck was right; Miles still won’t stop saying that one line about stealing a baby; N’astirh is no pigeon; and “No Mutant Is an Island” is a patently inaccurate statement.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Beyond Corporation
  • The Defilers
  • X-Terminators #1-4
  • The first 35 issues of X-Factor, briefly
  • Two teams with the same name
  • Fredric Wertham
  • Bill Gaines
  • Crotus
  • Babies
  • A boarding school that may or may not be Phillips Exeter Academy
  • Muffy
  • Saint Simon’s Academy
  • Wiz Kid (Takeshi Matsuya)
  • Nuprin
  • Medical advice from goblins
  • The Goblin Buster
  • Metareferential snack food
  • RadSport Sport Fashion Outfitters
  • An exceptionally specific Ghostbusters reference
  • Helen and Tim
  • Dubious spell semantics
  • How not to incorporate a crossover into a miniseries, and vice versa
  • “No Mutant Is an Island”
  • A brief history of Magneto’s helmet
  • Definitive Magnetos

NEXT WEEK: The fall of Magik.

Special thanks to multiversal metacontinuity wizard Al Ewing for the last-minute assist on the cold open!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 102 – Baby Race 2000

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Okay, then. (X-Factor #32)
I wanna hang out there. (X-Factor #32)
Please note that Boom Boom pauses to put on sunglasses before doing cool cool stuff. Boom Boom knows what’s up. (X-Factor #32)
MVP. (X-Factor #32)
Well, that’s certainly one way to do that. (X-Factor #33)
In Boom Boom’s defense, shopping is terrible. (X-Factor #33)
Go set something on fire for justice, kiddo! (X-Factor #33)
BEAST! We missed you! (X-Factor #33)
Y’know, most people would just send a C&D. (X-Factor #33)
Kinda answered your own question, there, buddy. (X-Factor #34)
Nanny and the Orphan-Maker walk the line between sad and terrifying SO beautifully. (X-Factor #34)
N’astirh got no time for your rationalizations, Hodge. (X-Factor #34)
Later, he’s going to go home and listen to Stabbing Westward in the dark. (X-Factor #34)
Aw. (X-Factor #34)
It’s okay. He’ll be back. (X-Factor #34)
Yes, Warren, we get it. (X-Factor #34)
Welcome to the State Home for Gaslighting. Hope you survive the… (X-Factor #35)
Worst. Orphanage. Ever. (X-Factor #35)
GAH. There is literally nothing in this issue that is not wildly unsettling. (X-Factor #35)
The orphanage is a metaphor that is also a real fictional orphanage. (X-Factor #35)
‘Kay. (X-Factor #35)
Sometimes you gotta prioritize. (X-Factor #35)
NEXT WEEK: Excalibur goes ongoing!

102 – Baby Race 2000

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Beast’s DNA is basically held together with spit and baling wire; Boom Boom wins MVP; Angel goes full goth; Cameron Hodge loses his head; Cyclops is basically a Silent Hill protagonist; and the Nebraska Department of Social Services is probably not adequately equipped to deal with Mister Sinister.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Horsemen of Death
  • X-Factor #32-35
  • Xartans
  • Superheroic triage
  • A vague prophecy
  • Fake Avengers
  • Fake-band disambiguation
  • KiLLeR DWaRfS
  • Crippled Puppies
  • Audiophile Apocalypse
  • Shopping
  • Dubiously zealous trademark protection
  • Acronym disambiguation
  • The death of Candy Southern
  • The not-exactly death of Cameron Hodge
  • Nanny
  • Orphan-Maker
  • Baby Race 2000
  • An orphanage that is also a metaphor
  • Unreliable narration
  • The dubious partnership of Mister Sinister and Apocalypse
  • Best iterations of Boom Boom

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur goes ongoing!

InfernoWatch

  • Malicious inanimate objects
  • Early signs of Marvel Girl’s returning telepathy
  • First clues of Cyclops’s connection to Sinister
  • First mention of Goblin Queen by name

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Hang out with us on Imzy!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 92 – Living in Ship

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Love, X-Factor style. (X-Factor #27)
Days later, Manhattan is flooded. (X-Factor #27)
“Everything was going really well for like five whole pages!” (X-Factor #27)
Jean, you knocked! You really have grown up! (X-Factor #27)
Aww, squishface. (X-Factor #27)
“And I was only a few days away from retirement…” (X-Factor #28)
Gotta catch ’em all. (X-Factor #28)
Aww, Hank… (X-Factor #28)
Check out that panel composition – this is how you do show-don’t-tell. (X-Factor #28)
Just sayin’. (X-Factor #28)
Okay, I just posted this one because of Scott’s amazing death-glare. “Damn it, Bobby, I’m the one who gets to do press conferences.” (X-Factor #29)
Nabbit. Whunk. (X-Factor #29)
Aww, Hank..! (X-Factor #29)
I can’t say I fully blame Infectia for monsterizing some of these jerks. (X-Factor #29)
Walter Simonson: master of making soap opera look Epic As Hell. (X-Factor #29)
Whoa. (X-Factor #30)
I mean, she’s kind of endearing in her awfulness, right? (X-Factor #30)
Bobby Drake: overcompensating. (X-Factor #30)
These panels could have come straight out of The Mighty Thor. (X-Factor #30)
Aww, crap, they’re holding hands – you know that means you guys are completely screwed, right? (X-Factor #30)
*cue laugh track* (X-Factor #31)
Well that’s terrifying. (X-Factor #31)
Louise and Walter Simonson do the best Destiny. (X-Factor #31)
Jeez, the USPS is way more hardcore than I thought. (X-Factor #31)
Well crap. (X-Factor #31)
Next time: Sorcerers’ Duel.

92 – Living in Ship

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which X-Factor loves press conferences, Archangel provides many opportunities for terrible puns, Cyclops gets to be happy for a whole five pages, X-Factor learns how doors work, the X-kids are generous (except Boom Boom), Infectia makes monsters to fight the patriarchy, Ship is your cool aunt, and Destiny accidentally predicts Cable.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • Apocalypse versus Ed Wood
  • X-Factor #27-31
  • Superhero mortality
  • Star-crossed mugger romance
  • Marvel Girl as, and not as, Team Mom
  • The greatest line in all of X-Factor
  • Ship’s anatomical resemblances
  • Combat and relationship discussion multitasking
  • X-Men Evolution Syndrome
  • Iceman as joker-by-necessity
  • Infectia and the Anti-Bodies
  • Rambo Nukes Commando In Nicaragua
  • Wacky sitcom humor
  • Warren Worthington, PI
  • Earth 13122 and LEGO optic blasts
  • Musical careers of the X-Men

NEXT WEEK: Magik versus Forge.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 84 – The Fourth Horseman

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/29/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
I try, but I just cannot get past those faces. (X-Factor Annual #2)
Acerbic done-with-this-shit Cyclops is the best Cyclops. (X-Factor Annual #2)
QWOPsilver. (X-Factor Annual #2)
Contexts in which Medusa’s superpower is not ridiculous: Yeah, we couldn’t think of any, either. (X-Factor Annual #2)
WHOOPS. (X-Factor Annual #2)
Take away the window dressing, and Maximus’s evil plan is basically weaponized empathy. (X-Factor Annual #2)
‘Kay, then. (X-Factor Annual #2)
“And stop by HR on your way out so we can get your feedback!” (X-Factor #21)
Creepiest powersuits? Creepiest powersuits. (X-Factor #21)
You tried, buddy. (X-Factor #22)
YA THINK, SCOTT? (X-Factor #22)
Reluctant hero Boom Boom is so great. (X-Factor #22)
Look, she’s seen Die Hard, okay? (X-Factor #22)
Even though we know who this dude is gonna turn out to be, the escalation is legitimately pretty creepy. (X-Factor #22)
No, really? (X-Factor #22)
The official debut of Archangel! (X-Factor #23)
“I made it myself, out of RUBY QUARTZ JELLO!” (X-Factor #23)
You can almost hear the portentous minor chord at the end. (X-Factor #23)
NEXT WEEK: The final episode of Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts!

84 – The Fourth Horseman

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/29/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/29/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which Franklin Richards is the center of a disproportionate number of X-Men specials; Quicksilver without powers is comedy gold; Luna is the best little girl on the moon (but it’s kind of a low bar); Jay accidentally cares about the Inhumans; Jean Grey may or may not be the Wesley Willis of X-Factor; Cameron Hodge’s exit interview is weirdly professional; Boom Boom is the best reluctant hero; and Archangel makes his debut.

X-PLAINED:

  • Quicksilver’s team associations
  • Knights of Wundagore
  • Chthon
  • X-Factor Annual #2
  • X-Factor #21-23
  • The Inhumans
  • Black Bolt
  • Medusa
  • Crystal
  • Lockjaw
  • QWOP Quicksilver
  • Leech’s wildly inconsistent powers
  • Gorgon
  • Luna
  • Headbutting ghosts, or, why sentence structure matters
  • Maximus
  • Several methods of mind control
  • A really terrible place for a date
  • Cameron Hodge: Bureaucrat Supervillain
  • The last will & testament of Warren Worthington III
  • Another superpower pet peeve
  • A theoretical team-up we would love to see
  • The Arlington Interactive Museum of (evil) Science
  • Some really dumb armor
  • Archangel
  • Our preferred third Summers brothers

NEXT WEEK: Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!