Ship – Page 2 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 171 – Badly Punctuated Equilibrium

November 12, 2017 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! https://xplainthexmen.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/X170.mp3

Domestic bliss, X-Factor-style. (X-Factor Forever #1)

Aw, this guy. (X-Factor Forever #1)

Timmy’s grandmother has good judgment. (X-Factor Forever #1)

“Hey, kids! Have some flechettes!” (X-Factor Forever #1)

Dang. Good job, Hank. (X-Factor Forever #1)

“I did, however, find myself some sweet new glasses.” (X-Factor Forever #1)

Every drawing of Apocalypse’s face in this series is utterly delightful. (X-Factor Forever #2)

When writers no-prize the art… (X-Factor Forever #2)

DAMNIT, TIMMY. (X-Factor Forever #2)

Happy birthday, Timmy, I guess? (X-Factor Forever #2)

Well, THAT can’t be good. (X-Factor Forever #3)

This series makes a fairly good case for both mutant rights and subsidized childcare. (X-Factor Forever #3)

How you know it’s serious business. (X-Factor Forever #3)

I love that they have named and numbered all of their special moves. (X-Factor Forever #3)

“Dude, we are literally holding up one of those children, right here, in front of you.” (X-Factor Forever #3)

Well, shit. (X-Factor Forever #3)

Aw, man, this cover is so fun. (X-Factor Forever #4)

If only your boss listened to Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men. (X-Factor Forever #4)

X-Factor, doing what they do best! (X-Factor Forever #4)

BUT WHY ARE THEY ALL DRESSED UP? (X-Factor Forever #4)

Can we all just take a moment to enjoy Sinister’s deeply goofy face in this panel? (X-Factor Forever #4)

“Who’s on first,” Summers family edition. (X-Factor Forever #4)

Seriously, it’s a great reaction image. (X-Factor Forever #4)

Pretty much any variation on this panel will always get me straight in the feels. (X-Factor Forever #4)

“I dunno. What if we just, like, lob a baby at him?” (X-Factor Forever #5)

I just really like this panel. (X-Factor Forever #5)

“You didn’t tell me this was a VACATION,” said Cyclops. (X-Factor Forever #5)

NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga, and the secret origins of this nonsense!

171 – Badly Punctuated Equilibrium

November 5, 2017 Miles 63 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which 1991 runs right into 2010, X-Factor: Endgame (and everything after it) never happened, Jay covets the hell out of Cyclops’s X-Factor: Forever jacket, Apocalypse’s alternative universe motives are actually pretty fascinating, and Miles will never call his junk Traitorous Unit.

X-PLAINED:

The Strucker siblings (and the Strucker siblings)
X-Factor Forever #1-5
Earth-TRN237
What makes a good Forever comic
The best jacket in the X-universe (and some other redesigns)
MaXimum pants
Ship the ship
The Celestial Host
Dan Panosian’s Smug Apocalypse
The Master Meld variations
Force versus heat (and art versus word balloons)
En Sabah Nur, thoughtful employer
Gammenon the Gatherer and honey-related implements
Combat (and podcasting) maneuver names
The Apocalypse Journal
Eternals versus Deviants versus Inferior, Shitty Humans
Slow, crappy science and adorable mutant rats
Mutant fertility
Arishem the Judge and his magic space-thumb
Definitive versions of characters and their relationships
En Sabah Nur and Your Changing Body
That time X-Factor threw a baby at a robot to save the world
DC Comics’s Hellfire Club
Trans X-Men
But no seriously that jacket

NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga, part 1

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 167 – Full Circle

October 15, 2017 Jay 5 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Dude, you literally gave Ship to X-Factor. (X-Factor #65)

Aw, buddy. (X-Factor #65)

Valid point. (X-Factor #65)

This makes NO SENSE given the original context of the quotation, and I’m irrationally upset about that. (X-Factor #65)

An entirely reasonable reaction to Archangel, TBH. (X-Factor #66)

How you can tell that Important Stuff Is Afoot. (X-Factor #66)

Meet Jen “Not Rachel Summers” Askani! (X-Factor #66)

And that’s why you always leave a note. (X-Factor #66)

Oof. (X-Factor #67)

Oh. Those guys. (X-Factor #67)

Nothing nice ever happens on the moon. (X-Factor #67)

Look at these beautiful weirdos! (X-Factor #67)

Okay, but those animals are creepy as hell. (X-Factor #68)

There are a lot of callbacks to the Dark Phoenix Saga in this story, but this is one of the best. (X-Factor #68)

OH, SNAP. (X-Factor #68)

It’s okay. You’ll get to raise him in the future, in a surprisingly good miniseries! (X-Factor #68)

And the Watcher gets the last word. (X-Factor #68)

Whilce Portacio and Jackson Guice’s unused cover for the original X-Factor #66. Thanks, Comic Book Resources!

And now, The Apocalypse Manifesto, which is not a manifesto at all, but whatever.

I’m not gonna write witty captions for all of these. Just read ’em if you feel like it.

Seriously.

It’s been a very long several weeks. Don’t judge me.

NEXT EPISODE: Live from NYCC, with Chris Claremont and Louise Simonson!

167 – Full Circle

October 8, 2017 Jay 47 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which things are not as they were; “yaybopunk” is definitely our aesthetic; Cable is officially foreshadowed; and the NYCC live show did in fact go really well!

X-PLAINED:

Cable’s childhood
Some ECCC plans
X-Factor #65-68
The Riders of the Storm
“Riders on the Storm”
Some X-Factors that might have been
Babies as drawn by Whilce Portacio
Medieval cats
Yaybohunk vs. yaybopunk
A red herring
Jen Askani
A kidnapping
Visual representations of hacking
How to effectively evoke the Dark Phoenix Saga
The plural of “Apocalypse”
Rad fights on the moon
Something you should definitely cosplay
Cyclops narration
A psychic duel
A choice
Resets vs. returns
The Apocalypse Manifesto
The Crafters of Apocalypse

NEXT EPISODE: Live at New York Comic Con, with Chris Claremont & Louise Simonson!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

152 – Ghosts of Future Present

March 27, 2017 Jay 58 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

In which Franklin Richards makes everything more complicated; Reed Richards is a terrible parent; Days of Future Present is a surprisingly good ghost story; Valeria Richards is awesome (but does not appear in this crossover); everyone’s got hounds these days; Banshee is your sad cyborg dad; Phoenix has a lot of feelings; and X-Factor once again manages to up the ante for child endangerment.

X-PLAINED:

Nightcrawler’s brief clerical career
Days of Future Present
Annuals, in general
Some extraordinarily specific Namor headcanon
Fantastic Four Annual #23
New Mutants Annual #6
X-Factor Annual #5
Uncanny X-Men Annual #14
Franklin Richards
Several statuses quo
The reproductive potential of Doombots
Ms. Marvel (Sharon Ventura)
Ahab
A Code Red Time Emergency
One of Jay’s dream pitches
Your sad cyborg dad
The worst tea party
One hell of a kiss
Robocop vs. Terminator

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur gets eclectic!

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 151 – Czars of Kung Fu

March 20, 2017 Jay 9 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

WELL, THEN. (Uncanny X-Men #264)

“Also, we think they might be slightly evil.” (Uncanny X-Men #264)

Seriously, though, THEY ARE NEVER GOING TO MENTION THE TENTACLES AGAIN. (Uncanny X-Men #264)

But can it teach aerobics? I DON’T THINK SO. (Uncanny X-Men #264)

Wolverine WWII flashbacks are usually pretty fun. (Uncanny X-Men #268)

No, YOU ship it. (Uncanny X-Men #268)

Her hair is so great, though. (Uncanny X-Men #268)

How can one character be so awesome? It seems kind of unfair. (Uncanny X-Men #268)

Don’t fuck with Seraph. She’ll kick your ass and leave you with a blood debt to Viper. (Uncanny X-Men #268)

“Look, it was this or leather pants.” (Uncanny X-Men #268)

It’s fair to assume that whatever Jubilee is doing in the background is roughly a million times more entertaining than whatever’s going on in the A-plot. (Uncanny X-Men #268)

Jim Lee cocktail dresses, topped off with Jim Lee hair. (Uncanny X-Men #268)

It was REALLY HARD to not make this whole visual companion nothing but Jubilee. I hope you appreciate my restraint. (Uncanny X-Men #268)

Remember that time Cap made an awkward pass at Wolverine? (Uncanny X-Men #268)

Come for the broken spine; stay for spoiling the surprise twist! (And yet, somehow, we still love this cover.) (Uncanny X-Men #269)

If I had a dollar for every day I’ve woken up like this… (Uncanny X-Men #269)

In which Jim Lee does a pretty solid Barry Windsor Smith. (Uncanny X-Men #269)

“Now put on some damn pants and fight me!” (Uncanny X-Men #269)

“But you’re… you’re so evil! And sexy!” (Uncanny X-Men #269)

Well, that explains a thing or two. (Uncanny X-Men #269)

It’s really not the Savage Land without a sexy montage. (Uncanny X-Men #269)

Okay. This looks bad. (Uncanny X-Men #269)

It’s easy to make fun of this page, but at the same time, it’s really damn cool. (Uncanny X-Men #269)

Lila Cheney: falls into the heart of a sun, comes back more stylin’ than ever! (Uncanny X-Men #269)

NEXT EPISODE: Days of Future Present!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

151 – Czars of Kung Fu

March 20, 2017 Jay 21 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which Laura easily is worth a dozen Old Mans Logan; Charlotte Jones is the EveryCop; Genosha remains a fairly versatile allegory; Hydra are totally Nazis; Jubilee gets the best sound effects; Rogue has a bad day; and it’ll take more than a sun to stop Lila Cheney.

X-PLAINED:

Graydon Creed
Logan oversaturation (more) (again)
Uncanny X-Men #264, 268, 269
A somewhat convoluted status quo
Death by Derrida
New York’s sewers (kind of) (maybe)
The Misty Knight rule
Jackets of the ’90s
Cap’s cape
Mustache metaphysics
The Press Gang (again)
VR.5
The Doctrine of Hot Pursuit
Dazzler, in handy grenade form
A prescient scenario
Jim Lee signature cocktail dresses
A dubious approach to first aid
Wolverine’s sexy friends
Nazi ducks
Seraph
Ivan Petrovitch
Sexy subversion
Rogue vs. Carol Danvers
Mutants vs. the Terrigen Mists
TaXonomy of ambiguously X-characters

NEXT EPISODE: Days of Future Present!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 142 – The Monster at the End of This Comic

January 9, 2017 Jay 7 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Buy prints at Redbubble, or contact David to purchase the original!

Apocalypse using his powers: never not funny.(X-Factor #51)

Ship, no. (X-Factor #51)

Meet Opal Tanaka, your new favorite X-Factor supporting character! (X-Factor #51)

HE’S SO FULL OF FEELINGS, YOU GUYS (X-Factor #51)

I know it’s not supposed to be funny, but it really is. (X-Factor #52)

We’ve all basically been on this date, right? (X-Factor #52)

Terry Shoemaker’s Bobby Drake is delightful. (X-Factor #52)

Hiiiiii, The Locust. (X-Factor #52)

And again: Clearly not supposed to be comical, and yet… (X-Factor #52)

Aw, these two. (X-Factor #53)

Well, that’s awkward. (X-Factor #53)

Jean Grey: striding into the future with two middle fingers raised to fate. (X-Factor #53)

And now for something completely different! (X-Factor #55)

Perfect moment is perfect. (X-Factor #55)

Wellp. (X-Factor #55)

He’ll turn out to have been an Infectia monster and therefore doomed anyway, but that doesn’t really change the fact that Beast just kicked a dude in front of a train. (X-Factor #55)

NEXT EPISODE: Happy birthday, Kitty! HAVE SOME MORE SUBTEXT!

FURTHER LISTENING:

For more on Scott and Jean’s Central Park conversation (and an especially ironic listen this week), check out Episode 22 – Through Death and Through Life!

142 – The Monster at the End of This Comic

January 9, 2017 Jay 35 comments

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which Jay and Miles make a personal announcement; moles (probably) don’t lay eggs; Angel is full of angst and flechettes; there’s always room for cello; and no matter how complicated our personal lives get, X-Factor’s will always be worse!

X-PLAINED:

The Tanaka family business
Jay & Miles vs. time travel
Some personal stuff that’s going on
Our definitive Iceman artist
A whole lot of child endangerment
Two reasons not to eat cereal from the 1980s
X-Factor #51-53 and 55
Cable’s first word
Slightly dubious zoning
Charlotte Jones
Opal Tanaka
Mole
Chicken Wings
Grover, but not that Grover
B-grade Sabretooth
A double date
Giant bugs
The Locust (August Hopper)
A walk in the park
A failed proposal
What we talk about when we talk about retcons

NEXT EPISODE: Happy Birthday, Shadowcat!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!