Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: shi’ar

As Mentioned in Episode 139 – Starjammed

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and coffee mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Dave Cockrum should draw all the space pirates, always. (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)
Space plank! (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)
Meet Vam and Mer. They’re about to die. More. Again. (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)
“As a Summers, I recognize the value of an artfully tattered costume.” (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)
Professor X is a dick. (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)
The best planet. (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)
Seriously, though, Doki-Doki Universe is wonderful.
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)
These delightful scamps. (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)
Oh, hey, look! It’s the Starjammer! (Spotlight on Starjammers #1)
Remember that time the dethroned empress of the Shi’ar threw poop at her sister? Because that happened. (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)
‘Kay. (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)
Ron Howard voiceover: “It was not a brilliant idea.” (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)
They’re totally gonna do it! (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)
QUICK! PUNCH EACH OTHER FOR NO REAL REASON! (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)
O.o (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)
So, that happened. (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)
One more Dave Cockrum space-pirate fight, just because we can! (Spotlight on Starjammers #2)
NEXT EPISODE: Christmas with Cable, featuring Dennis Hopeless!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

We talked a lot about the Starjammers with Greg Rucka in Episode 7: Cyclops Has a Good Day!

For more ResurrXion talk, check out Jay & Miles Review the X-Men, Episode 107.

139 – Starjammed

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Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and coffee mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Spotlight on Starjammers is basically a RPG module; Jay may or may not have developed superpowers; artfully tattered clothing is a Summers family tradition; the Starjammers kill a planet; Raza may or may not be super progressive; and Professor X dies (again).

X-PLAINED:

  • The T-Bomb
  • Spotlight on Starjammers #1-2
  • The Starjammers (more) (again)
  • Phlazers
  • Keel-hauling
  • The space plank
  • Phalkon
  • The Groff System
  • Vam & Mer
  • Cr’eee’s dubious past
  • Several really on-the-nose planets
  • Doki-Doki Universe
  • A critical comma
  • The expected endurance of the Starjammer
  • A Shi’ar imperial poop fight
  • Zenith
  • Many cameos
  • An entirely gratuitous superhero slugfest
  • Death Phoenix
  • Bald Phoenix
  • Several dropped plot threads
  • Our thoughts on ResurrXion
  • Creative teams vs. characters

NEXT EPISODE: Christmas with Cable (feat. Dennis Hopeless)!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 50 – The People Vs. Erik Lehnsherr

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Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 4/5/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Professor Xavier reacts to the Xorn retcons. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Someone really needs to make a gif out of those three panels on the left. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Not satisfied with his own series, the Beyonder derails someone else’s. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
This is so ridiculously rude. I mean, what if Father Bowen had been asleep, or naked, or talking to a parishioner, or something? “SURPRISE!” (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Kurt Wagner echoes some common criticisms of Secret Wars. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Awkward. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
KITTY’S FACE. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
Given the parallels between Rachel Summers and Magneto’s backgrounds, it would have been really cool to see this relationship developed further. (Uncanny X-Men #196)
So doomed. (Uncanny X-Men #197)
Aw, these kids. (Uncanny X-Men #197)
Oh, hi, Phoenix II! (Uncanny X-Men #199)
While we’re on the subject: Check out Allie Kleber’s gorgeous design for a ballgown version of Rachel’s first Phoenix costume!
Cue-ball special! Take a drink! (Uncanny X-Men #199)
You can almost hear the slash fiction springing into being. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
We’d make “Rachel and Scott Summers pointedly fail to communicate” a drink cue, but no one’s liver deserves that. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
It is super weird how much Val Cooper looks like Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, given that Thiessen would have been eleven years old when this comic came out. Photo-reference of future past? (Uncanny X-Men #199)
“We’ll start by attacking a dude at a Holocaust memorial. It’ll be great practice for your PR team!” (Uncanny X-Men #199)
Rachel Summers was totally the best Phoenix. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
Magneto is a morally complex individual with really excellent hair. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
No matter how much you love your job, you will never love it as much as Mystique loves hers. (Uncanny X-Men #199)
Magneto’s speech here is important, but what you’re really looking at here is his well-tailored suit. You’d expect him to show up to his trial in something like this, right? (Uncanny X-Men #199)
NOPE. Why wear a conservative suit to your trial when you could wear opera gloves and a sleeveless unitard with an M pointing directly to your crotch? (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Neal Conan x-plains Magneto. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
“The counsels for the prosecution and defense have been selected based on the quality of their Joan Rivers impressions.” (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Oh, these assholes. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
So, basically, it’s Tuesday. Also: best editor’s note ever? Best editor’s note ever. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
I don’t think we talked about it in the episode, but this issue has the best damn sound effects. Seriously, I’m just gonna post a bunch of these, because they are great, and the lettering is aces. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
VYANNG! KRAKOOM! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
SKBOOM! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
RKOW! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
KTHAM! (Uncanny X-Men #200)
ZARK! TUNCH! BDAM! THIS LETTERING, Y’ALL. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Let’s all take a moment to appreciate Kitty’s hella sweet outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
You’re not wrong, Madelyne. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
There’s something intrinsically hilarious about Starjammers fly-bys. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
KITTY, FOCUS ON THE PROBLEM AT… oh. Sorry. That was in poor taste. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Pretty sure that last speech balloon was supposed to be Kitty’s, not Scott’s. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
MAGNETO MADE SOME VALID POINTS. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Agh, god, Tom Orzechowski’s sound effects are SO GOOD. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Sir James Jaspers: total dick. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
CANON: This lady’s name is Judge Kickass. (Uncanny X-Men #200)
Atonement

Cleric lvl 5 / Druid lvl 5

Range: Touch

(Uncanny X-Men #200)

NEXT WEEK: ECCC special, featuring Kris Anka, Marguerite Bennett, Kieron Gillen, and Peter Nguyen! (No idea why this photo is showing up upside down, but it looks kind of rad, so we’re just gonna run with it.)

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

 

50 – The People Vs. Erik Lehnsherr

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 4/5/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/29/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Magneto makes an official alignment shift; Claremont does a court drama; Professor Xavier makes poor choices; Rachel Summers comes by her communication skills honest; the Strucker kids are the evil Wonder Twins; and the podcast hits a major milestone!

X-PLAINED:

  • Xorn
  • Uncanny X-Men #196, 199, and 200
  • The X-Men status quo circa 1985
  • Magneto’s alignment shift
  • Beyonder-related existential crises
  • A hypothetical murder mystery
  • Minor vandalism as a harbinger of dark futures
  • Psi-scream
  • Brood classified ads
  • A thematic parallel
  • The tipping point in Scott and Madelyne’s relationship
  • The new, improved Magneto
  • The Professor Who Cried Wolf
  • Phoenix II
  • Earth-811/Earth-616 disambiguation
  • Freedom Force
  • The Trial of Magneto
  • NPR-616
  • James Jaspers
  • The best editor’s note
  • The mystery of Magneto’s age
  • Andrea & Andreas Strucker
  • What not to wear to court
  • A super icky sword
  • Phoenix morality
  • Sponsorship & conflict of interest

NEXT WEEK: Emerald City Comicon special with Kris Anka, Marguerite Bennett, Kieron Gillen, and Peter Nguyen!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 20 – The Brood They Carried

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Listen to the podcast here!

WELL, THEN. (X-Men #161)
SPACE FASHION! (X-Men #161)
Stun bombs are to comics as knockout spray is to cartoons. (X-Men #161)
We really only included this to point out the smoke coming from Wolverine’s underwear. (X-Men #162)
And that’s how you do a cold open. (X-Men #162)
Remember this space whale. It’ll be important later. (X-Men #162)
So, that’s a little creepy, and… (X-Men #162)
…AUGH WAIT WHAT THE HELL?! (X-Men #162)
Fang just cannot catch a break. (X-Men #162)
This is one of very, very few times when Wolverine’s healing factor has been written as at all under his control. (X-Men #162)
How cool would it have been if he’d kept this look? Hint: So cool. (X-Men #162)
Fair warning: This visual companion is basically an excuse to post a lot of really awesome Carol Danvers moments. (X-Men #163)
Cyclops successfully completes TWO whole hugs during the Brood Saga! Also: space fashion. (X-Men #163)
So, THAT’S CREEPY. (X-Men #163)
Remember that thing about how this visual companion is mostly an excuse to post pictures of Carol Danvers being awesome? That. (X-Men #164)
ROCKET SHARKS. (X-Men #164)
Including this just for the dozen people who have written us to ask if Storm’s powers work in space (also covered in the Phoenix Saga, incidentally). (X-Men #164)
In which Claremont and/or Cockrum seem to forget that Kitty’s powers fry electrical systems. (X-Men #164)
BINARY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. (X-Men #164)
Imagine how much of Inferno could have been avoided if the Professor had decided to press this point. (X-Men #164)
AUGH GOD BINARY IS SO AWESOME. (X-Men #164)
Not that Cockrum’s not great, but can we have a moment of silence for how amazingly Neal Adams would’ve drawn this specific panel? (X-Men #164)
If you like the Brood Saga, you should be reading the current Captain Marvel series (and vice versa). This is very much the Carol Danvers of both. (X-Men #164)
That moment when the Brood Saga could’ve become a really heavy-handed reproductive-rights allegory, and we’re all really grateful that it didn’t. (X-Men #164)
Well, fuck. (X-Men #164)
Binary: Too awesome for your stupid airlock. (X-Men #164)
That time Moira MacTaggert manipulated Charles Xavier into starting a second ongoing X-book. (X-Men #165)
Welcome to X-Men, Paul Smith! Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men #165)
Faced with certain and inevitable death, the X-Men decide to go kill some Brood. (X-Men #165)
Rad bromance. (X-Men #165)
CORRECT CHOICE, COLOSSUS. (X-Men #165)
Remember that time Storm became a space whale and quoted Phoenix? (X-Men #165)
Seriously, though: Binary. (X-Men #166)
WELL, THEN. (X-Men #166)
Mostly in here to point out that Kitty’s impending death has not cooled her affection for the Shi’ar fashion machines. (X-Men #166)
Storm X-plains the Acanti, part one. (X-Men #166)
Storm X-plains the Acanti, part two. (X-Men #166)
Our episode outline addresses this panel as follows:
  • KITTY YOU ARE THE BEST NERD
  • DOES CYCLOPS WATCH STAR TREK? DISCUSS. SHOW YOUR WORK.
(X-Men #166)
(X-Men: Evolution Cyclops definitely watches Star Trek, for the record.)
In addition to the shocking reveal, this moment leads to one of stupidest and most avoidable minor continuity errors of the issue. (X-Men #166)
Best Brood moment? Best Brood moment. (X-Men #166)
LOCKHEED! (X-Men #166)
And they all lived happily ever after. (X-Men #166)
OH, WAIT. (X-Men #166)
Just in case you haven’t caught on to the fact that this is an extended thematic and structural riff on the Dark Phoenix Saga. (X-Men #167)
Can we talk about the New Mutants’ adorable collective crush on Magnum, P.I.? (X-Men #167)
THAT SUBTITLE. (X-Men #167)
Kitty’s got a new outfit. Take a drink. (X-Men #167)
Okay. This looks bad. (X-Men #167)
Speaking of the Dark Phoenix Saga… (X-Men #167)
Cyclops has a good day (and completes an unprecedented SECOND successful hug in the same story!), but this plot thread is going to lead straight to Madelyne Pryor, so, that’s probably a net loss. (X-Men #167)
That time Empress Lilandra projected into Reed and Sue Storm’s bedroom to scold them in the middle of the night. (X-Men #167)
Professor Xavier returns to life, and Kitty gets yet ANOTHER new outfit. Two drinks. (X-Men #167)
In which Kitty learns what the reader has known all along. (X-Men #167)
Next Week: Back to the Silver Age (and a very important retcon) with Kurt Busiek!

Further reading:

The Things They Carried, by Tim O’Brien.

20 – The Brood They Carried

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In which Claremont levels up; the Brood are legitimately scary; Colossus is an ethical dude; Nightcrawler and Wolverine share beers in the face of certain death; Storm turns into a space whale; we are Carol Corps for life; New Mutants are really into Magnum, P.I.; Kitty meets a dragon; and Xavier dies (again).

X-Plained:

  • Broo
  • The Brood Saga (X-Men #161-167)
  • Paul Smith
  • Space fashion
  • A really terrible awards ceremony
  • Tim O’Brien’s X-Men
  • The Brood
  • How to tell a good Wolverine story
  • Rocket sharks
  • The single most badass magical-girl transformation sequence of all time
  • Binary
  • The X-Men’s Kobayashi Maru
  • Friendship (more) (again)
  • The Acanti
  • Whether Cyclops watches Star Trek
  • The New Mutants
  • Cloning
  • Our secret cold-open formula
  • Cosmic crossovers

Next Week: Kurt Busiek! We would have words with thee!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 17 – The Island of Dr. Corbeau

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Listen to the episode here!

Is there a friendship equivalent to “we ‘ship it”? Because, that. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
And you think it’s a pain when your parents visit. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
Corsair, X-Plained. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
Cyclops: Not all that quick on the uptake. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
Remember when this happened and it was hilarious? (Uncanny X-Men #114)
Get used to it, kid. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
Roy and Phil are the new Harvey and Janet. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
That’s… pretty valid, actually. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
Corsair does a lot of X-Plaining this issue. (Uncanny X-Men #154)
In Cyclops’s defense, he did, in fact, have the worst childhood ever. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
This is basically how the Shi’ar say Hello. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
Never change, Kitty Pryde. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
The lady in the fuchsia coat is hardcore judging you, Corsair. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
The Brood’s arsenal includes a super rad op-art ray. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
‘Kay, then. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
Wolveine is hella into fighting with the Brood, which is good, because he’s gonna be doing a lot of that a couple arcs from now. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
Spoiler: He’s gonna be okay. (Uncanny X-Men #155)
REMEMBER THESE BADASSES? They’re back. And we love them. (Uncanny X-Men #156)
We weren’t kidding when we said Phil and Roy were the new Harvey and Janet. (Uncanny X-Men #156)
THE STARJAMMERS ARE SO RAD THAT WE CAN ONLY TALK ABOUT THEM IN ALL CAPS. (Uncanny X-Men #156)
Hepzibah demonstrates the proper way to interrupt a dramatic moment. P.S. REMEMBER WHEN WE SAID THE STARJAMMERS ARE FUCKING DELIGHTFUL? THE STARJAMMERS ARE FUCKING DELIGHTFUL, YOU GUYS. (Uncanny X-Men #156)
The Brood are dicks, man. (Uncanny X-Men #156)
It’s okay. He’ll be back. (Uncanny X-Men #157)
Yeah, we’re not sure what’s going on in that first outfit, either. (Uncanny X-Men #157)
Uncanny X-Men #157, in which Kitty Pryde saves the world with costumes. Like, seriously.
And then, for no apparent reason, she changes into a Peter Pan outfit. You do you, Kitty. You do you. (Uncanny X-Men #157)
Meanwhile, in Avengers Annual #10, it’s raining Marvels.
Fun fact: Jessica Drew is long-time buds with the X-Men. (Avengers Annual #10)
Well, that explains it. (Uncanny X-Men #158)
Rogue’s default villain M.O. was really, really creepy. (Avengers Annual #10)
REMEMBER HOW THAT HAPPENED AND NONE OF THE AVENGERS SAW ANY PROBLEM WITH IT? (Avengers Annual #10)
You know the runs that gymnasts do as the lead-up to really spectacular tumbling passes? This is Chris Claremont’s equivalent, only instead of doing a bunch of flips, he is going to call out some of the most bullshit writing of the previous year. (Avengers Annual #10)
STANDING. FUCKING. OVATION. That said, it’s pretty depressing that this came out in 1981 and still reads as a lot more progressive than the handling of sexual violence in a lot of current comics. (Avengers Annual #10)
The return of Dr. Peter Corbeau. (Uncanny X-Men #158)
I WONDER IF THIS WILL BECOME RELEVANT LATER. (Uncanny X-Men #158)
Senator Kelly: Still a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #158)
“Hey, Alex, you know how all you wanted was a normal life? Yeah, I just dropped by to tell you our dad’s been alive for the last twenty years. And he’s a space pirate. And your hat looks stupid.” (Uncanny X-Men #158)
Object lesson: Everyone is Mystique. Everyone is always Mystique. (Uncanny X-Men #158)
Can we talk for a sec about Rogue’s superlative villainface game? (Uncanny X-Men #158)
CAROL MOTHERFUCKING DANVERS. (Uncanny X-Men #158)
Next week is going to be SO AWESOME.

Links and additional reading:

17 – The Island of Dr. Corbeau

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In which we make our Comics Alliance debut, Cyclops makes a startling discovery, Carol Danvers joins the team (sort of), Chris Claremont calls out some bullshit, Havok still has terrible taste in hats, and Peter Corbeau gets his own theme music

Content note: In this episode, we spend a lot of time talking about a rape that occurs in a previous Avengers arc, the community and narrative response thereto, and the larger landscape and ethics of portrayals of sexual violence in superhero comics.

X-Plained

  • Mystique’s mercurial alliances
  • Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men
  • Uncanny X-Men #154-158
  • Avengers Annual #10
  • Bollywood Starjammers
  • The dread Psi-Scream
  • Shi’ar Fashion Technology
  • Dr. Peter Corbeau (more) (again)
  • Rogue
  • Carol Danvers
  • The Whole Marcus Thing
  • Chris Claremont vs. rape culture
  • Computers
  • Gender politics of the Dark Phoenix Saga

Next week: Dracula!

Clarification, since we neglected to specify in the episode: Avengers #200 was written by James Shooter, George Pérez, Bob Layton, and David Michelinie; Avengers Annual #10 was written by Chris Claremont.

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

As Mentioned in Episode 13 – Last Stand on the Moon

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Listen to the podcast here!

You can tell she’s evil on account of the foreshortening. (X-Men #135)
Well, that escalated quickly. (X-Men #135)
“Inexorable” is a word we use a lot when talking about the Dark Phoenix Saga. This is one of those moments that can only lead in one devastating direction. (X-Men #135)
You can tell it’s a big deal because of the cameos… (X-Men #135)
…and the cross-promotion. Hi, Silver Surfer! (X-Men #135)
MALEFIC DESTINY! Claremont can be pretty overwrought, but for a story like this, we would argue that he is PRECISELY WROUGHT ENOUGH. (X-Men #135)
See, shit like this? This is why “malefic destiny” is an entirely appropriate and to-scale phrase. (X-Men #135)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE! (X-Men #135)
The Shi’ar: Why You Can’t Have Nice Things. (X-Men #136)
But first, a brief round of Danger Room exposition! (X-Men #136)
In John Grey’s defense, “what to do when your child is possessed by a potentially malevolent cosmic force” is really not covered adequately in most parenting books. (X-Men #136)
Comics Wolverine > Movie Wolverine. (X-Men #136)
If Xander’s crayon speech from that one Buffy episode is not direct homage to this scene, I will EAT MY HAT, and also your hat. (X-Men #136)
GOD DAMNIT, PROFESSOR X. (X-Men #136)
And THAT’S how you do a high-stakes psychic duel! (X-Men #136)
This will definitely not come back to haunt you. DEFINITELY NOT. (X-Men #136)
Maybe we will just put this cover in every single “as mentioned” gallery forever. Really, it deserves it. (X-Men #137)
The Watcher is like the narrative equivalent of pullquotes. (X-Men #137)
One step closer to the end. (X-Men #137)
But first, Beast pretty definitely gets a happy ending from a space massage therapist with epic green sideburns! (X-Men #137)
Again: Comics Wolverine > Movie Wolverine. (X-Men #137)
“I’ll take ‘scenes that always make Rachel tear up’ for 200, Alex.” (X-Men #137)
Yeah. (X-Men #137)
TEAMWORK! (X-Men #137)
“I’ll take ‘scenes that always make Rachel tear up’ for 1000, Alex.” (X-Men #137)
Can we have a moment of silence for this completely and absolutely perfect page? (X-Men #137)
The (definitely absolutely 100% permanent) death of Phoenix. (X-Men #137)
This is one of those covers that will be riffed and referenced until the end of time. (X-Men #138)
X-Men #138 renders 11 of the last 12 episodes of this podcast pretty much redundant.
The end… (X-Men #138)
…and the beginning. (X-Men #138)

P.S. We have some rad new stuff in our store, including dark-background Magneto Made Some Valid Points shirts and Chris Haley’s spiffy new YAYBO! design! Go buy shirts so we can buy comics!

Haley_Yaybo_Shirt

13 – Last Stand on the Moon

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In which Jean commits genocide, the Shi’ar are total dicks (again), we have feelings about X-Men #137, Claremont and Byrne do what they do best, shit gets real on the moon, Kitty joins the team, and the Dark Phoenix Saga concludes.

 

X-Plained:

  • Inhumans
  • The Kree
  • The Terrigen Mist
  • Teamwork
  • The Dark Phoenix
  • Cameos with cosmic implications
  • The Phoenix event horizon
  • Establishing scale
  • Psychic battles
  • The winged never-nudes of the Marvel Universe
  • Danger-room exposition
  • The Shi’ar’s really dubious justice system
  • Why X-Men #137 is the definitive issue of X-Men
  • Pacing
  • The power of friendship
  • Quiet moments
  • The blue area of the moon
  • The best last stand
  • Moon vandalism
  • The Phoenix Retcon

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!