Shadowcat – Page 17 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

47 – The Price of Power (feat. Elisabeth Allie)

March 8, 2015 Jay 21 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/15/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Emergency Backup Co-Host Elisabeth Allie saves the day; the Berserkers are not the breakout hit you’ve been waiting for; Paul Smith continues to be awesome; nothing good ever happens in the Danger Room; Charles Xavier dabbles in cosplay; Nightcrawler has serious hat game; Rachel Summers lacks healthy coping skills; your life would be way more epic if Claremont narrated it; Northstar is a surprisingly good prom date; Loki is a total dick; and Longshot is totally Miles’s favorite.

X-PLAINED:

Madelyne Pryor
X-Men/Alpha Flight vols. 1&2
The Berserkers
An unconventional model of family therapy
Aggressive foreshadowing
NPC dialogue
Jazzercise superheroes
Superhero color theory
Sasquatch
Aurora
Those Who Sit Above in Shadow
Norse fashion of the ‘80s
Very specific superpowers
Some sweet boots
The price of power
A deus ex machina squared
Kitty and Piotr’s first date
Snowbird’s powers
Miles’s favorite X-Man

NEXT WEEK: Asgardian Wars!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

March 2015 T-Shirt of the Month: What’s New Shadowcat?

March 1, 2015 Jay 3 comments

Saving the world is all well and good, but Kitty Pryde knows what superheroism is REALLY about: the costumes!

This month, we’re celebrating Kitty’s myriad and multiversal superthreads with David Wynne’s fantastic homage to the classic Frazetta What’s New Pussycat? poster, featuring a whopping seven of Kitty’s signature looks over the years. For bonus mileage, go meta and incorporate it into your own superhero costume—or use the matching mugs to get you through the Kitty’s Costumes drinking game next time you marathon the Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men archives!

What’s New Shadowcat? shirts will be available until April 1, then disappear forever (mugs, tote bags, and/or throw pillows may persevere longer). David also has the original art for sale over here!

46 – Shadows Over Cairo

March 1, 2015 Jay 24 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/8/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which we bid a fond farewell to Bill Sienkiewicz; Secret Wars II continues to ruin everything; the New Mutants end up in an improbable number of gladiatorial arenas; Shadowcat’s secondary mutation is queer subtext; Magik gives no fucks about your crossover event; Warlock transcends storytelling conventions; and Karma rejoins the team.

X-PLAINED:

The chronologically inconsistent mobility of Professor Xavier
The Shadow King
New Mutants #29-34
Steve Leialoha
The Arena (more) (again)
Evil group projects
Easter eggs
Rachel Summers: butch fashion icon
Some major failures of positive size diversity in comics
Madripoor
Ashake
The incredible changing Guthries
The wickedest club in Cairo
Default X-teams
Cypher’s powers

NEXT WEEK: Miles and Elisabeth Allie X-Plain X-Men / Alpha Flight

No visual companion this week, because, reasons.

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Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Rachel Recaps X-Men: Evolution
S1E2: The X Impulse

February 24, 2015 Jay 49 comments

You know how I said that X-Men: Evolution is really entertaining even when it’s really, really bad? This week, we’re gonna put that to the test. Prepare for more rock puns than you have ever heard in a single 22-minute stretch. Also, Transformers. Kinda.

In other news, I still have no idea what the titles refer to.

BUT FIRST, A PRETEND HORROR MOVIE!

We open with the Pryde home, in a fictional town in Illinois. The town has a name, but I don’t care what it is, and it’s never going to be relevant again, so I’m just gonna call it Fake Deerfield. Cool? Cool.

OH, MY GOD, IT'S CINEMATOGRAPHY! — OH, MY GOD, IT’S GRATUITOUS LIGHTNING!

Kitty dreams that she’s falling, and–spoiler–she actually falls through her bed and floor and lands in the basement. She wakes up screaming, and her parents rush down to comfort her. They think she was sleepwalking–until they look up and a PORTENTOUS FLASH OF LIGHTNING illuminates her blanket, embedded in the basement ceiling.

OH MY GOD! THAT’S–actually, wait, that’s not scary at all.

Okay, look, I get what they were shooting for here, but you know who has the least horror-movie powers of just about all the X-Men? Hint: It’s definitely Kitty, barring the stories where phased becomes her default state (which this isn’t). Framing this scene and the Prydes’ cheerfully generic suburban house like a horror movie reminds me of one of those recut trailers where you try to make a movie look like a genre it obviously isn’t; or a kid telling a shaggy-dog joke and then waiting for you to be overjoyed at the lack of punchline; or the entire movie White Noise.¹ It’s all buildup, with no proportionate payoff.

Meanwhile, back at Stately Xavier Manor, Kitty’s late-night spill pings Cerebro. Does anyone else find it unsettling that Professor X has a psychic supercomputer that provides him with turnaround full body scans of teenagers?

Also, Cerebro accurately predicts the outfit that Kitty is going to wear to school the next day.²

“What am I?” wails Kitty. “What’s happening to me?” Just give it five seconds, kid–the credits montage identifies you quite clearly as Shadowcat.

As Mentioned in Episode 41 – Hated and Feared

January 25, 2015 Jay 6 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 2/1/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

Not a dream! Not an imaginary story! (X-Men #193)

“The hard part wasn’t bringing you back from the dead–it was getting you into those leather pants.” (X-Men #193)

Firestar’s first comic-book appearance. We’d like to tell you it goes uphill from here, but, no. (X-Men #193)

Let’s take a moment to admire the complete impracticality of Kitty’s jacket. (X-Men #193)

“That’s right, Sam. And when you’re headmaster of your own school, you can dress however you want.” (X-Men #193)

Kitty’s jacket again, because it is just so gloriously awful. (X-Men #193)

The robot enforcers of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. Or something. (X-Men #193)

Empath: Literally the worst kid. (X-Men #193)

In which Charles Xavier takes advantage of a teachable moment. (X-Men #193)

Aw, Nimrod, you’re so wacky. (X-Men #193)

It seems like a waste that this sequence isn’t accompanied by sitcom opening-credits music. (X-Men #194)

Things about Rachel Summers that are not The Saddest Thing at this point in continuity: None of them. (X-Men #194)

Really, Earth-811? Limitless budget, and you couldn’t design anything that looked better than THAT? (X-Men #194)

Voltron special! (X-Men #194)

The scene depicted on the cover ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT TAKE PLACE AT ANY POINT DURING THIS ISSUE. Good god, Marvel. (X-Men #195)

And now, an actual nightmare that you have actually had! (X-Men #195)

Seriously, what the hell, George? (X-Men #195)

Aw. (X-Men #195)

Damn, Shadowcat. That’s cold. Not entirely inaccurate, but cold. (X-Men #195)

I have no idea how they’re going to explain this one to their parents. (X-Men #195)

Next Week: Firestar!

41 – Hated and Feared

January 25, 2015 Jay 25 comments

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In which Nimrod is probably an honorary Summers by this point; Claremont hits a centennial; it’s probably pretty hard to get an unconscious person into tight leather pants; the X-Men finally encounter a world that actually hates and fears them; and the Power Pack fits somewhat uneasily with the grown-up Marvel Universe.

X-PLAINED:

Nimrod
Uncanny X-Men #193-195
Thunderbird II (James Proudstar)
Situation-inappropriate attire
The worst Hellions
Firestar (Angelica Jones)
Why you call ahead before breaking into NORAD
Leadership
Public opinion
Juggernaut fights
How the X-Men wake up
Nazgûl
Tyranny of the Masses: The Robot
The Voltron Special
The Power Pack
Navigating crossovers

NEXT WEEK: Firestar!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 38 – Welcome to Murderworld

January 4, 2015 Jay 19 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and travel mugs available until 1/11/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

Hope you survive the… oh, wait. (Uncanny X-Men #123)

Next Issue: Spider-Man quotes Atlas Shrugged until the Fantastic Four politely ask him to leave. (Uncanny X-Men #123)

Cyclops: the worst at dates, or definitely the worst at dates? (Uncanny X-Men #123)

Pause for a moment to take in the glory of this perfect murder truck and its perfect sound effects. (Uncanny X-Men #123)

Just for the record, we would TOTALLY read a comic about Cracklin’ Rosa. (Uncanny X-Men #123)

Well. That happened. (Uncanny X-Men #123)

Arcade: Really good at his job, until he’s not. (Uncanny X-Men #123)

It’s a “Hope you survive the experience!” riff! Take a drink! (Uncanny X-Men #123)

Cyclops, look, we know you were kind of raised by a supervillain, but pro tip: people who kidnap you and drop you into funhouse death traps ARE GENERALLY NOT TO BE TRUSTED. (Uncanny X-Men #123)

The sound effect in the blast, tho. (Uncanny X-Men #123)

COSPLAY THIS MAN COSPLAY HIM RIGHT NOW (Uncanny X-Men #123)

If Arcade ever makes it to the big screen, he damn well better be played by Jim Rash. Just sayin’. (Uncanny X-Men #123)

Who gift-wraps the hostages? Do they just have those boxes sitting around? WE MAY NEVER KNOW. (Uncanny X-Men #124)

Cyclops solves problems with optic blasts and geometry! Take a drink! (Uncanny X-Men #124)

‘Kay, then. (Uncanny X-Men #124)

Starring the Most Reluctant X-Men Ever (after that one team Jean Grey put together when Magneto had Professor X hostage in the Savage Land, or I guess probably any other version of the team involving Sunfire). (Uncanny X-Men #146)

Let’s take a moment of silence for how much more awesome this panel would be if Arcade were toying idly with a HeroQuest set. (Uncanny X-Men #146)

GOD, Arcade! Don’t you know ANYTHING? (Uncanny X-Men #146)

NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE (Uncanny X-Men #146)

More festive pudding-cup hostages! Why? Why not? (Uncanny X-Men #146)

No, but, seriously. (Uncanny X-Men #146)

Phil and Tobe are the Harvey and Janet of Doom Minions. (Uncanny X-Men #147)

Aw, Tobe. You’re a stand-up minion. (Uncanny X-Men #147)

The hell whaaaaat? (Uncanny X-Men #197)

This is kind of like when you go to someone’s house and you’re looking for the bathroom and you open a door that you’re pretty sure is the door to the bathroom and it’s actually a room full of robots dressed up like all your mutual friends. I mean, that happens to other people, right? (Uncanny X-Men #197)

‘Kay. (Uncanny X-Men #197)

THIS TRAIN MONSTER IS SO GOOD. (Uncanny X-Men #197)

You know she’s been saving that one up for like a year. (Uncanny X-Men #197)

I kind of love Arcade and Miss Locke’s original dynamic, before it got super screwed up and sex-murdery. (Uncanny X-Men #197)

NEXT WEEK: Miles returns, and Cloak and Dagger meet the New Mutants!

Places Where You can Find Chris Sims on the Internets:

LOOK AT ALL THESE PODCASTS
He’s also the senior writer at Comics Alliance!
- Oh, hey, here’s that one article about Arcade that we mentioned in this episode

38 – Welcome to Murderworld (Feat. Chris Sims)

January 4, 2015 Jay 8 comments

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In which we welcome back Emergency Backup Co-Host Chris Sims; comics writers are basically supervillains; Cyclops is not here to have fun; Spider-Man flirts with objectivism; Murderworld is probably not financially sustainable; you should totally cosplay the Proletarian; Arcade may or may not secretly be the Archie Andrews of Earth-616; and Doctor Doom remains absolutely delightful.

X-Plained

Captain Britain
Arcade
Francisco Scaramanga
The vastly inferior Arcade of Earth-1610
Uncanny X-Men #123-124, 146-147, 197
Chris’s first X-Men
A really sweet truck
Spider-Man’s brief flirtation with objectivism
What the X-Men do on their night off
Hella nipples
Murderworld
Miss Locke
Mr. Chambers
Marvel comics in the Marvel Universe
A large number of elaborate deathtraps
Soviet Nick Fury
The Proletarian
Hostage-wrapping
Phil and Tobe
One way to celebrate your birthday
Avengers Arena
Miss Coriander
The best non-X Arcade stories
The end of ~~Axis~~ Sixis
Arcade at the Arcade

NEXT WEEK: Cloak and Dagger!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Because You Demanded It: X-Men Last-Minute Gift Guide

December 22, 2014 Jay 7 comments

Art by Sal Buscema and Karl Bollers, Marvel Holiday Special 1994 one-shot (1994) — Art by Sal Buscema and Karl Bollers, *Marvel Holiday Special 1994 one-shot* (1994)

HI, LISTENERS! Some of you have been asking us to write an X-Men holiday gift guide. We think it’s very thoughtful of you to consider purchasing gifts for fictional characters, and to help you out, we have created this handy last-minute guide! Click through for our picks for Beast, Shadowcat, and six more…

THE COMPLETE GUMBY

FOR: Beast. We already know Hank McCoy is a fan of Art Clokey’s weird green guy–in fact, back in his Defenders days, he used to collect and trade bootleg Gumby VHSs (seriously–it’s canon). Modern Beast has been having a rough time; give him an excuse to unwind with seven disks’ worth of psychedelic claymation, and maybe a plate of pot brownies.

(And now we’re imagining a stoner comedy starring Hank McCoy and Abigail Brand. MARVEL. CALL US.)

WHAT HE’D PREFER: Moral certitude.

BACKUP GIFT:Dr. Strange: A Separate Reality, by Steve Englehart and Frank Brunner, because you know Beast would be super into a comic about a buddy of his that two dudes literally wrote while wandering around Central Park tripping balls in the middle of the night.

RIP IT: HOW TO DECONSTRUCT AND RECONSTRUCT THE CLOTHES OF YOUR DREAMS, BY ELISSA MYRICH

FOR: Shadowcat. The X-Men’s most die-hard superfashionista can always use another tool in her arsenal–after all, you never know when you’ll find yourself hankering for a new costume with no Shi’ar tech in sight.

WHAT SHE’D PREFER: A canonical girlfriend.

BACKUP GIFT: The Complete Elfquest, vol. 1.

MAGNUM, P.I.’S SIGNATURE HAWAIIAN SHIRT

FOR: Sunspot. I mean, Bobby da Costa probably already owns one of these, or six, but you can really never have too many backup Magnum, P.I. shirts, right?

WHAT HE’D PREFER: To actually be Magnum, P.I.

BACKUP GIFT: A signed pinup of Tom Selleck.

THE REQUISITE UGLY HOLIDAY SWEATER

FOR: Cyclops. Left to his own devices, Scott Summers basically dresses like a six-year-old and has a long tradition of happily sporting really, really horrible sweaters; so you know he’ll at least get some use from it. (Plus, if he hates it, he’ll probably be too polite to say anything.)

WHAT HE’D PREFER: A world in which he’s functionally irrelevant.

BACKUP GIFT: Socks.

ERROL FLYNN FILM COLLECTION

FOR: Nightcrawler. Kurt Wagner is a huge Errol Flynn fan, to the point of modifying his image inducer to reproduce the visage of the classic swashbuckler; so he’s sure to enjoy a boxed set of Flynn’s most famous films.

WHAT HE’D PREFER: A soul.

BACKUP GIFT: A collection of John Donne sonnets.

LOCAS: THE MAGGIE AND HOPIE STORIES, BY JAIME HERNANDEZ

FOR: Magik. I have no actual narrative justification for this. I just think Magik would really dig some Love & Rockets.

WHAT SHE’D PREFER: Nothing your fragile mortal mind can grasp, kid.

BACKUP GIFT: A iPod preloaded with pop-culture nostalgia podcasts. For someone who runs with the unusually pop-savvy New Mutants, Illyana has spent relatively little of her life with any kind of media access.

CLASSIC X-MEN PVC SET

FOR: Iceman. Bobby Drake is all about original-five nostalgia, and he’s kind of a goofball, so he would probably enjoy the hell out of this X-Men PVC set, featuring the original team, Professor X, and Magneto (and one of the better Iceman sculpts out there).

WHAT HE’D PREFER: For Professor X to still be alive and everyone to be friends again.

BACKUP GIFT: An Elsa tiara.

ALL SEVEN SEASONS OF DESIGNING WOMEN

FOR: Rogue. Look, Rogue does not need another pair of fancy gloves. What Rogue needs is seven seasons of the most badass, progressive, Bechdel-test-acing Southern-lady sitcom of all time.

WHAT SHE’D PREFER: A three-day bender with Julia Sugarbaker, and maybe conscious control over her powers.

BACKUP GIFT: Another pair of fancy gloves.