Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 135 – Kurt Wagner, Warlord of Mars

Listen to the episode here.



LINKS & FURTHER READING

135 – Kurt Wagner, Warlord of Mars (Cross-Time Caper, Part 2)

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which the Cross-Time Caper continues; alliteration is awesome; someone else’s geopolitical conflict is not an appropriate place to play out your pirate fantasies; we are definitely not actually going to eat Alan Davis’s brains; Jamie Braddock is Evil Rex Racer; Widget eats a car; Rick Leonardi is the definitive fill-in artist; the problem is patriarchy; and everything’s sticky in Madripoor.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Manga
  • Excalibur #16-19
  • Crosstime
  • A John Carter riff
  • A mysterious and dubiously reliable narrator
  • A terrible pick-up line
  • Kymri
  • Anjulie
  • Gender-neutral fantasy armor
  • Implicit fellatio in several media
  • Space Fred Savage
  • An alternate Jean Grey (and her untimely demise)
  • Tullamore Voge
  • A grand tourney
  • A deeply disappointing pastiche
  • ORZ-1
  • Dirty Pair (and a sustained riff thereon)
  • What makes a train sexy
  • Wolverine’s table manners
  • Jim Jaspers vs. Jamie Braddock vs. Jamie Jeffers

NEXT EPISODE: Fill-In Frenzy!


You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 134 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival

Listen to the episode here.



Here are the lyrics to all thirty-nine verses of Dear Mister Sinister (you’ll have to hit Tea or Scott up for the chords):

Dear Mister Sinister
My name is Alex; I’ve
Got a school project
I hope you can help with
 
My teacher said we have to
Map out our families
Parents and grandparents
Brothers and sisters
 
She gave us poster board
She gave us markers, but
I’m having trouble with
Several specifics
 
You see, I’m adopted
But I’ve got a brother
We used to have parents
We don’t anymore
 
Dad’s name was Christopher
Mom’s name was Katherine
Dad’s mom and dad were named
Philip and Deborah
 
That part is easy, the
Trouble’s my brother, see
His name is Scott and he’s
Kind of a pain
 
But that’s not the problem, the
Problem is Maddy and
Nathan and Rachel and
Also some time travel
 
Maddy is Scott’s ex, and
Nathan’s their son, he
Grew up in the future
And Scott and Jean raised him
 
Jean is another ex
Maddy’s her clone, but
Jean’s also the Phoenix
Except so is Rachel
 
Rachel’s Scott’s kid
(with Jean not with Maddy)
She’s Mother Askani
Or she will be someday
 
(‘Cept Scott’s not her father
At least, not my brother
Because she was born in
An alternate timeline
 
That said, her parentage
Is somewhat hazy; it
Involves the Phoenix and
Parthenogenesis)
 
Rachel cloned Nathan in
Case of emergency
That clone is Stryfe; he
Was raised by Apocalypse
 
Nathan’s got Hope
Who is also adopted
(She isn’t a clone, though
Her last name was Spalding)
 
His son was named Tyler
But Wolverine killed him
And then we all kind of
Forgot he’d existed
 
But that’s Nathan Summers
Nate Grey’s someone different
He’s kind of like Rachel, but
From a worse timeline
 
Nate is a clone or grew
Up in a test tube; And
You might have raised him (Well,
Not you, exactly)
 
And now Scott’s with Emma
And Ruby’s their daughter, at
Least in one future where
Scott is a cyborg
 
They also have kids from
A different timeline; a
daughter named Meagan
With twin baby sisters
 
I married Jan in an
Alternate future and
We had a daughter but
Kang started meddling
 
Our daughter’s named Katie
Or will be or was, and
Her timeline is gone and
It’s kind of an issue
 
Did I forget Hepzibah?
She’s Dad’s new girlfriend, ’cause
Dad’s alive after all
And he’s a space pirate
 
Speaking of space stuff, I
Should mention Gabriel
My younger brother, at
Least ’til I killed him
 
He was born after mom died
And aged artificially
He married Deathbird and
Then he killed Dad again
 
Deathbird was pregnant
The Kree got involved and now;
No one is certain if
She’s given birth yet
 
Oh! And I should tell you
That I am some sort of
Multiversal nexus
Which complicates matters
 
See, there’s also Scotty
(My son, not my brother)
Well, not mine exactly
A parallel Alex’s
 
And that Alex married
a Madelyne Pryor
Who in this dimension
Is Scott’s ex-wife Maddy
 
(I mean Scott, my brother,
Of whom there are two now
And one is sixteen it’s
Incredibly awkward)
 
I’m also supposed
To trace my name’s history
That’s also a problem, see,
‘Cause there’s a time loop
 
‘Cause once Scott went back to
The late Nineteenth Century
To thwart a villain
Or something like that
 
And he saved a guy who
I think was your prisoner
His surname name was Edge, but
He changed it to Summers
 
He came to the States and he’s
My twice-great granddad, which
All seems a bit too
Complex for a poster
 
That’s why I am writing; see,
Your machinations are
Largely at fault for the
Mess that I’m in
 
I used to blame Scott but
It’s really not his fault
You’re clearly the one
Who was pulling the strings
 
Out of some weird obsession
With all our genetics
(Well, less so with mine, but
It’s still pretty creepy)
 
I mean, you cloned Scott’s girlfriend
And kidnapped my nephew
The least you can do is
Help me diagram this
 
Yours very sincerely,
Alex “Havok” Summers
(Scott’s younger brother)
(In case you’d forgotten)
 
Dear Mister Sinister
My name is Alex; I’ve
Got a school project
I hope you can help with
 

134 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival (feat. Scott Koblish)

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Deadpool and X-Men ’92 artist Scott Koblish joins us to present the Summers Family Tree as you’ve never experienced it before; the X-Men go to Dante’s Hell; Dr. Strange gets his Virgil on; Wolverine sniffs snakes; Iceman has probably killed a lot of people; and X-Men fans have remained remarkably consistent over the years.

X-PLAINED

  • The Summers family
  • Birthdays at the Xavier mansion
  • A package as sinister as it is stylish
  • Uncanny X-Men King-Size Annual #4
  • One version of Hell
  • A demon who is also a sorting hat
  • Another X-Men crossover conspiracy theory
  • The X-Men’s religious affiliations and lack thereof
  • Nuance of self-narration
  • Snakes with arms, and the vocalizations thereof
  • Dangers of encasing people in ice
  • The death of Stefan Szardos
  • An overly complex revenge plot
  • The origin of that one angry mob from Giant-Size X-Men #1
  • Kinda-incest
  • Reader responses to the Dark Phoenix Saga
  • X-Men vs. board games
  • The appeal of the Outback X-Men
  • Artist-character associations

NEXT EPISODE: Kurt Wagner: Warlord… of our hearts!


DEAR MISTER SINISTER lyrics by Jay Edidin & music by Tea Fougner. Performed by Scott Koblish.


You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

X-TRA – Sofa Special (feat. Al Ewing)

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We’re celebrating International Podcast Day with a bonus mid-week episode!

In which Jay and Al settle down in the living room to talk about cats, conventions, X-karaoke, Summers Brothers road trips, and what Al has planned for those New Mutants he’s been collecting in New Avengers!

SOME RELEVANT LINKS:

This episode comes courtesy of our rad Patreon subscribers. If you want to join their ranks and help keep us on the air and ad-free–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

As Mentioned in Episode 125 – Giant-Size Special #4

Listen to the podcast here.



LINKS:

125 – Giant-Size Special #4

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Logan Bonner, Max Carleton, and Crystal Frasier hike up their boxers and join us at the gaming table for an X-Men: Evolution tabletop adventure; what happens in virtual reality stays in virtual reality; Shadowcat is great at boats; Jubilee and Boom Boom blow up everything; Havok tries; and Team Reckless Endangerment wins the day!

FEATURING:

  • Logan Bonner as Writer and Gamemaster / Erik the Rad
  • Max Carleton as the Shadowcat / Pirate Kitty
  • Crystal Frasier as Jubilee / the Genie
  • Jay Edidin as Havok / the Corsair
  • Miles Stokes as Boom Boom / Boomavara

NEXT EPISODE: Live from RCCC, with Greg Pak!


You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 123 – Mojo Mayhem

Listen to the episode here.



LINKS & FURTHER READING:

123 – Mojo Mayhem

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Jay and Miles return to Rose City Comic Con; “Having a Wild Weekend” is the mash-up t-shirt of Excalibur stories; swears are for everyone; Arcade is not a subtle villain; we love Art Adams a lot; Minor-Domo is the Harvey and/or Janet of the Mojoverse; Kitty gets another new costume; and the X-Babies carjack their creators.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Agent
  • Jay and Miles at Rose City Comic Con 2016
  • What Excalibur has instead of annuals
  • Competing theories of Eriks Larsen
  • “Having a Wild Weekend” (Marvel Comics Presents #31-38)
  • The Community reference that keeps on giving
  • How to fight on the Internet without being a dick
  • A large number of thinly veiled TV references
  • The X-Babies
  • Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem
  • Ricochet Rita (again)
  • Psychonauts
  • Exploding children (more) (again)
  • The House of Ideas
  • The New Universe
  • Major Domo
  • Minor Domo
  • Jay’s dream vacation
  • Cats Laughing (more) (again)
  • Cosplay you should totally do
  • Why you should always read the EULA
  • The classic X-Men spirit
  • Some of our favorite cameos
  • The return of Judith Rassendyll
  • One fairly specific way to ruin a wedding
  • Where to find Havok in comics
  • X-Men we’d like to see as wizards

NEXT EPISODE: Death in the Outback


You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 120 – Observed by a Family of Lizard People

Listen to the episode here.



LINKS & FURTHER READING: