Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

15 – The Ballad of Harvey and Janet

In which we announce exciting new developments, the ASPCA should probably have a word with Emma Frost, Kitty Pryde gets a new costume, Lee Forrester is still the best, Cyclops has an octopus on his chest, Magneto has a change of heart, and Wolverine embraces transhumanism.

X-Plained:

  • The Thomas Hardy novel of superhero comics
  • Friendship
  • X-Men #148-152
  • Unstable Denim
  • Disco Dinner Clubs
  • Caliban (a little)
  • Kitty Pryde’s amazing fashion sense
  • Garokk the Unremarkable
  • Atlantean couture
  • Why Magneto is Interesting
  • The Massachusetts Academy
  • The Persona Exchange Gun
  • Harvey and Janet
  • How to win $2500 in 1980
  • Editorial Outsourcing

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

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As Mentioned in Episode 14 – Look Upon My Man-Thing and D’Spayre

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Links and Further Reading:

YAYBO! WE’RE ON TWITTER!

The Death-Defying Doctor Mirage

Savage Wolverine #21


All Those Signature Moves We Listed Off (We’ll Do a Visual Directory Eventually, We Promise):

FASTBALL SPECIAL VARIATIONS:

  • Fastball Special: Colossus throws Wolveine at something.
  • Phaseball Special*: Someone throws Kitty through robots

OTHER MOVES:

  • The Most Comics-Code-Adherent at What He Does*:  The thing where Wolverine has his claws out during a fight but doesn’t cut anyone.
  • Cue-ball Special*: The thing where Cyclops takes out like six bad guys with ricochets from one optic blast.
  • Slippery Slope*: The thing where Iceman tries to be awesome and ends up beating up his teammates by accident.
  • Blue-Plate Special Special*: The thing where an X-man uses their powers to prepare lunch.
  • The thing where Kitty wrecks everything by accident phasing through it.
  • The thing where everyone switches opponents mid-fight, and that’s what turns the tide.
  • The thing where Nightcrawler is awfully dashing about beating people up.
  • The thing where Storm’s claustrophobia saves the day.
  • The thing where Angel just dodges shit for like an hour instead of participating in the fight.
  • The thing where Xavier fakes his own death.
  • The thing where Cypher and/or Kitty and/or Illyana and/or Wolverine do the “Ain’t I a stinker?” thing from the control booth of the Danger Room.
  • The thing where Cyclops uses his optic blasts to slow or stop inertia or a fall.
  • The thing where Storm has no powers and STILL kicks someone’s ass into next week.
  • The thing where Colossus and Wolverine throw themselves at Magneto every goddamn time despite being made of metal.

*We made these names up. They are not official canon, but we live in hope.

14 – Look Upon My Man-Thing and D’Spayre

In which Canada is complicated, the X-Perts join Twitter, Rachel cares about a Wolverine story, Angel had one job, Kitty Pryde is pretty cool, Cyclops gets a hat, neither of us knows how to pronounce “Aleytys,” Doctor Doom is a terrible date, and the X-Men have an awful lot of signature moves.

X-Plained:

  • Department H
  • Department K
  • Director X
  • The Weapon Plus Program
  • Weapon P.R.I.M.E.
  • Weapons I-XVI
  • The Death-Defying Doctor Mirage
  • The new normal
  • Stevie Hunter
  • The Wendigo
  • Berserker rage
  • Yard work
  • Wolverines
  • Angel’s one move
  • The N’Garai (again)
  • Lee Forrester
  • D’Spayre
  • Magic-Feather villains
  • Man-Thing
  • Doctor Doom
  • Arcade
  • Why it sucks to be Havok
  • The X-Perts’ relative areas of X-pertise
  • Cyclops vs. Storm
  • Signature moves

CORRECTIONS: Lee’s dad’s house is in Florida, not Louisiana; Doctor Doom is not in Europe but in New England, where has taken over Toad’s theme park, because that was definitely a thing.

If you’re looking for our coverage of X-Men 141 and 142—”Days of Future Past”—you can find that in Episode 6, “Days of Future Whatever.”


You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

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As Mentioned in Episode 13 – Last Stand on the Moon

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P.S. We have some rad new stuff in our store, including dark-background Magneto Made Some Valid Points shirts and Chris Haley’s spiffy new YAYBO! design! Go buy shirts so we can buy comics!

Haley_Yaybo_Shirt

13 – Last Stand on the Moon

In which Jean commits genocide, the Shi’ar are total dicks (again), we have feelings about X-Men #137, Claremont and Byrne do what they do best, shit gets real on the moon, Kitty joins the team, and the Dark Phoenix Saga concludes.

 

X-Plained:

  • Inhumans
  • The Kree
  • The Terrigen Mist
  • Teamwork
  • The Dark Phoenix
  • Cameos with cosmic implications
  • The Phoenix event horizon
  • Establishing scale
  • Psychic battles
  • The winged never-nudes of the Marvel Universe
  • Danger-room exposition
  • The Shi’ar’s really dubious justice system
  • Why X-Men #137 is the definitive issue of X-Men
  • Pacing
  • The power of friendship
  • Quiet moments
  • The blue area of the moon
  • The best last stand
  • Moon vandalism
  • The Phoenix Retcon

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

As Mentioned in Episode 12 – Inner Circle Jerk

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Links and further reading:

The Dark Phoenix Saga has been collected roughly a million times. Here is one such collection. Seriously. You need to just straight-up read these comics. They are very good.


Cameron Harris on Sebastian Shaw (the quote Rachel referenced in the episode but didn’t have on hand):

“So, I was all set up to haaaaaaaaate the HFC and yaaaaaaaaaay Jean and the X-Men. But I didn’t, and it was pretty much because of Shaw. His entrance, his presentation, his presence was all big, bold confidence. He wore those eighteenth-century-dandy duds with complete aplomb, and I could tell almost immediately that he was in charge of everything he wanted to be in charge of. Okay, so a good villain type. This X-fight will be great!

“But he had something I hadn’t expected. I had thought we’d get another (bigger, better, eviller) Mastermind, or a Magneto: grandiloquent (Miles’s word!) and charismatic, would-be king of all he surveys, but not a mano a mano fighter, you know? I’d been reading so many villains whose attacks came from a distance or through non-physical means–and then Shaw is taking a punch from Colossus and laughing about it and taking off his fancy coat to duke it out with the X-Men, and I thought, Holy shit. This guy is the real deal. He’s going to fight them on their terms, not hide behind robots or tele-powers. In fact, the more you beat him up, the stronger he gets! How do you even stop that? (Besides pulling a Hercules-with-Antaeus move, I thought, and was kinda hoping to see that.)
“So. I was into Shaw for that combination: immediate confidence and social control + physical prowess and willingness to fight his own fights. The capper was that when everything at the HFC goes to hell, he hops into a car and leaves. I love a canny opponent who not only isn’t afraid to retreat but doesn’t care how it looks. I commend such priorities.”

12 – Inner Circle Jerk

In which we wade into the first arc of the Dark Phoenix Saga, Rachel does not like Sage, the Hellfire Club are the mean girls of the Marvel Universe, Cyclops and Phoenix have a Moment, Mastermind ruins everything, Emma Frost is a force to be reckoned with, Wolverine gets awesome, and we meet the Dark Phoenix.

X-Plained:

  • Sage
  • The Hellfire Club
  • The Inner Circle
  • Jason Wyngarde (again)
  • Sebastian Shaw
  • Harry Leland
  • Emma Frost
  • Donald Pierce
  • Hegemony and social politics of the Hellfire Club
  • 18th Century bondage cosplay
  • Kitty Pryde
  • The worst disco ever
  • Alison Blaire
  • Tiny shorts
  • How to make Wolverine work
  • Sexual politics of the Dark Phoenix
  • Why Magneto’s powers are broken post-AvX
  • The P.E.N.I.S. five

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Next week: Showdown on the Moon

As Mentioned in Episode 11 – Who Would Win in a Fight

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Links and Further Reading: UncannyXMen.net

11 – Who Would Win in a Fight

In which we answer 45 straight minutes of your questions and alienate everyone with our answer to Jean vs. Emma, Miles is probably too nice to win in a fight, we are really into The Adventures of Pete & Pete, Rachel is the Vega to Miles’s Shepard, Excalibur is awesome, you should stop punching the DNA, Wolverine is Rogue, Longshot is the prettiest man, and Professor X is a pufferfish.

X-Plained:

  • Who would win in a fight
  • The Rachel & Miles Fastball Special
  • Cycloptometry
  • Backissues, collections, and where to find them
  • Podcaster ‘shipping
  • Spinoffs
  • Rachel Summers (more) (again)
  • Five tattoos
  • Non-X stuff we’re into
  • X-Force versus the Comics Code Authority
  • Ultimate X-Men
  • How to keep track of crossovers
  • Textual queerness
  • The Siege Perilous
  • Jean vs. Emma
  • Some good Nightcrawler and Iceman stories
  • Dream teams
  • The Glammest Timeline
  • Best and worst code names
  • Bendis’s X-books
  • X-animals

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Next week: The Dark Phoenix Saga

 

As Mentioned In Episode 10 – Not All Mandroids

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