Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 479 – Nancy Drew and the Secret of Carrion Cove

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Jay’s not wrong that the buildings look like giant dildos… but at least they look like fancy dildos! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
Starring: a bunch of fashionable jerks, mostly! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
Not a good look when your cops look just like the cops who used to oppress you… (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
Magneto: Master of Magnetism and Monologues! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
okay but what about the chest-skull (Magneto: Dark Seduction #1)
That floaty platform has a heated floor, blind spot monitoring, and built-in GPS. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)
For all your chat reaction needs! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)
These here comical books are lookin’ pretty comical-booky. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)
Magneto talks to… someone! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #2)
We just like this cover. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
Everybody fights everybody! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
In which dust illustrates speed and impact! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
It’s like the portrait-instead-of-landscape version of widescreen storytelling! (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
Father of the year. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #3)
To her credit, she does have all the Kirby Krackle. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)
Because Mister Sinister is the hidden force behind literally everything. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)
Rest in Ponytail, Fabian Cortez. (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)
“Time to conceive some other on-again, off-again offspring who suck less.” (Magneto: Dark Seduction #4)
NEXT TIME: X-Man!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

  • That thing about the cooking show and spreader bars and Namor that Jay was talking about
  • Information and pencils from Chris Claremont and Rick Leonardi’s canceled Phoenix miniseries

479 – Nancy Drew and the Secret of Carrion Cove

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In which Genosha gets better and/or worse; Fabian Cortez is the Secretary of Betrayal; having an action figure of yourself is the path to immortality; and Hammer Bay sounds like a sex toy company.

X-PLAINED:

  • Triathlon
  • The Revolution relaunch and the six-month gap
  • Magneto: Dark Seduction #1-4
  • Erotic skyscrapers
  • Magneto (again) (forever)
  • X-Men Tijuana Bibles
  • The Genoshan Cabinet
  • Dark friendship with benefits
  • Polaris’s newfound interest in heavy metal
  • Magneto’s on-again, off-again children
  • Carrion Cove
  • Coloring symbolism and/or errors
  • Spat and Grovel (kind of)
  • Magneto’s ancestral f**k-ghost
  • Socialism!
  • Magneto’s mysterious mind-voice
  • Neal Conan
  • The Avengers of 2000
  • Kirby Krackle
  • Magneto’s smooth arc into villainy
  • Bonking
  • Human nature
  • Rachel Summers in the Body Shoppe
  • Our (lack of) coverage of solo comics

NEXT EPISODE: X-Man!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 372 – Monty Python’s Life of Magnus

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Steven Tyler vs Mick Jagger? (Magneto #1)
Home security has come a long way since 1996. (Magneto #1)
Sometimes the art crosses the line from iffy to weirdly awesome. (Magneto #1)
The sparkles are a nice touch, Fabian. (Magneto #1)
He’s the messiah! (Magneto #1)
Where… where’d your hair go, man? (Magneto #1)
“Behold my logo font!” (Magneto #2)
Fabian, what did that bird ever do to you?! (Magneto #2)
Meanwhile, in the space-opera version of this story… (Magneto #2)
Kelley Jones really nails the moments of Joseph’s Magneto-facade slipping. (Magneto #2)
PLOP (Magneto #2)
I mean, those birds have ample reason to have misgivings themselves. Fabian Cortez could be anywhere! (Magneto #2)
This was pre-Lyft, see. (Magneto #2)
…magnetism..? (Magneto #3)
So say we all. (Magneto #3)
If Fabian Cortez had a mustache, he’d be twirling it right now. (Magneto #3)
AAAAAAAHHHHHHH (Magneto #3)
Only the real Magneto could maniacally cackle at an angle that dramatic! (Magneto #4)
Because it’s about time someone did. (Magneto #4)
Broadcast Standards & Practices salutes you, Joseph. (Magneto #4)
“…for twenty-three days or so…” (Magneto #4)
NEXT TIME: Mystique vs. politicians-being-alive, round 2. Sorta.

372 – Monty Python’s Life of Magnus

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the first Magneto miniseries is actually a Joseph miniseries; Magneto lost a lot of nuance in the ‘90s; Fabian Cortez is friend to neither man nor bird; Joseph finds his inner supervillain; Marvel’s United Nations is unusually heavily armed; and bears are much cooler than guns.

X-PLAINED:

  • Magneto (again)
  • The Acolytes (again)
  • Joseph (again)
  • Magneto #1-4
  • Amelia Voght (again)
  • Religious statuary
  • Razors
  • New Avalon
  • Magneto’s voice
  • How not to make a point
  • Armstrong
  • A Trask who may or may not be Simon
  • Weird torture
  • Peonies
  • A big, silly fight
  • Happy X-Men comics featuring Wolverine
  • The many nexuses of reality

NEXT EPISODE: Assassination!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 371 – Beware of Psychodrama

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Before settling on paint and canvas, Piotr Rasputin’s first medium was the thought balloon. (Excalibur #104)
Douglock tries. (Excalibur #104)
Moira, I know a lot of us have been working from home for a while now, but you may have overdone the whole home-office thing just a tad. (Excalibur #104)
Douglock is so much less mean than Mystique usually is when angrily shapeshifting! (Excalibur #104)
LOOK SHE’S IN THE SHADOWS SHE COULD BE ANYONE OKAY (Excalibur #104)
Also, Dani never did that back in the day. (Excalibur #104)
Oh, Kitty. (Excalibur #104)
Pretty sure this cover was printed on black velvet. (Excalibur #105)
Bryan Hitch may be the first artist to make Wildside look genuinely intimidating. (Excalibur #105)
Kitty, those aren’t image inducers, they’re jackets, and you’re wearing one too. (Excalibur #105)
Sound effect as narrative tool. (Excalibur #105)
Kitty gave an emotional and heartfelt speech without using the N-word! (Excalibur #105)
Piotr Rasputin is the firestarter. Twisted firestarter. (Excalibur #106)
But seriously, this is one of the most visually engaging pages of backstory I’ve ever read. (Excalibur #106)
Meggan Puceanu, Actual Elf. (Excalibur #106)
Hey, it’s Frenzy! We love Frenzy! (Excalibur #106)
Jay is not okay with your thought-bubble-versus-computer-display redundancy, Moira. (Excalibur #106)
Excalibur, the comic where everyone is sexy all the time. (Excalibur #106)
Piotr, I think you put your pants on the wrong… you know what, you go, Russian cowboy. Now where did I put those singles… (Excalibur #106)
Metaphor by way of landmine. (Excalibur #106)
“And we’re going to ride bikes with Magneto and he’s going to take us to France!” (Excalibur #106)
NEXT TIME: No one rides bikes.

LINKS & FURTHER MISADVENTURES

  • We allude frequently to Warlock piloting around Doug’s corpse, which story we covered in Episode 91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told.

371 – Beware of Psychodrama

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Douglock is Douglock; Kitty Pryde gets lost in nostalgia; it continues to suck to be Colossus; Professor Xavier is a jerk; the MLF makes one and only one valid point; Ben Raab’s Excalibur run begins; the Acolytes try to get the band back together; and the land mines are a metaphor that are also real land mines.

X-PLAINED:

  • Exodus
  • Excalibur #104-106
  • The current state of Excalibur
  • Douglock
  • B.P.R.D.
  • New Mutants #64 callbacks
  • Wolfsbane’s default form
  • Nostalgia
  • The Xavier Protocols (again)
  • The MLF (again)
  • The Mysterious Moonstar
  • Selby
  • The Prodigy
  • Character shifts between writers
  • Age of Jay and Miles
  • How not to write a letter in a comic book
  • Assless chaps
  • Land mines
  • Unuscione
  • Scanner
  • Mutant lawyers
  • Cyclops’s color vision

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto, now with his own miniseries!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!