Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: savage land

As Mentioned in Episode 96 – Horsemen of the Playground

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
How you know a psychic event is a big deal: the cross-franchise reaction montage! (X-Factor Annual #3)
Well, that’s certainly one way to stage an intervention. (X-Factor Annual #3)
These delightful scamps. (X-Factor Annual #3)
Warlock, never change. (New Mutants Annual #4)
Can we have a moment of rapt silence for how well June Brigman draws body language? (New Mutants Annual #4)
The High Evolutionary’s head scientist, Stack, appears to be dual-wielding a cane and a staple gun. Because, evolution. (New Mutants Annual #4)
“On Wednesdays, we wear pink.” (New Mutants Annual #4)
Hell, yeah, equal-opportunity battle lingerie! (Well, except for Magneto, but he marches to the beat of his own fuchsia drum.) (New Mutants Annual #4)
Horses: totally the worst. (New Mutants Annual #4)
The scene that blew tiny Miles’s tiny mind. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
Man, if we had a dollar for every time that happened… (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
POIT: Definitely the cutest sound effect. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
In which Alex comes *this close* to the realization that Charles Xavier is totally a supervillain. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
SURE, WHY NOT? (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
Remember the time Storm had adventures on pirate space city on the back of a flying wolf? Because that was definitely a thing that actually happened. (Classic X-Men #22)
Oh, THAT guy. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
I’m not actually certain they ever followed up on this. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
It’s kind of a shame this logo didn’t stick around, because it’s pretty sweet. (Uncanny X-Men Annual #12)
NEXT EPISODE: Captain Britain!

96 – Horsemen of the Playground

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which we play Evolutionary War Mad-Libs; it’s probably a bad sign when Apocalypse decides you need an intervention; Dani is (briefly) the new Doug; horses are jerks; it’s probably really dangerous to be Longshot; Storm has the coolest friends; the High Evolutionary is very high indeed; and we make a (very token) nod to Valentine’s Day.

X-PLAINED:

  • Secret Origins of the High Evolutionary
  • Evolutionary War
  • The actual history of eugenics in America
  • X-Factor Annual #3
  • New Mutants Annual #4
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #12
  • Classic X-Men #22
  • Purifiers (but not those purifiers)
  • Stack
  • Purge
  • How to tell when an event has major psychic repercussions
  • A Silver-Age callback
  • An Apocalypse-style intervention
  • Toga Steve (Val-Or)
  • The return of Bulk and Glow Worm
  • Equal-opportunity Hellfire lingerie
  • Mirage’s power upgrade
  • Miles vs. puberty vs. Uncanny X-Men
  • The coolest civilization ever
  • Colossus’s illegitimate kid
  • The cutest sound effect
  • Origins of the Scott/Jean/Logan love triangle
  • Stuff Jay likes and Miles doesn’t
  • The Elle Collins Theory of Podcast Roles

NEXT EPISODE: Captain Britain!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

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Buy prints (or travel mugs) of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned In Episode 10 – Not All Mandroids

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Multiple Man’s powers essentiall make him a retcon elemental.
Punching pterosaurs is the gift that keeps on giving. (X-Men #114)
Best Worst Reveal (X-Men #114)
“Robes” (X-Men #114)
We really can’t fault Cyclops for giving up on trying to explain Sauron. (X-Men #115)
The final fight of X-Men #116 Dark City.
Remember when we didn’t know everything about Wolverine? (X-Men #118)
Sadly, this story is really low on Sunfire Sass. Misty Knight, however, is AWESOME. (X-Men #118)
Mandroids. (X-Men #118)
Moses Magnum, P.I. (X-Men #118)
Heist stories are the best stories. (X-Men #119)
That’s Mariko Yoshida. She’s going to be really important later. (X-Men #120)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (X-Men #118)
Spoiler: Nope. (X-Men #109)
Alpha Flight. (X-Men #120)
Vindicator is a thoughtful antagonist. (X-Men #120)
Not actually episode-relevant. We just think these panels are hilarious. (X-Men #120)
Wolverine, we are pretty sure the APA would not approve of your approach to therapy. (X-Men #122)
Don’t fuck with Storm. (X-Men #122)
Ugh, THIS guy. (X-Men #122)
Based on the graffiti, this apartment was previously occupied by the 1970s Marvel bullpen. (X-Men #122)
Cyclops comes to terms with dynamic storytelling. (X-Men #125)
This is an awesome reunion, and notable as one of the only times Cyclops has ever successfully completed a hug. (X-Men #125)
Well, that’s portentous. (X-Men #104)
Angus McWhirter has REALLY STRONG FEELINGS about hovercraft. (X-Men #119)
Moira MacTaggert does science in a superhero uniform, because, comic books. (X-Men #125)
Proteus’s secondary mutation is superhuman levels of creepiness. (X-Men #127)
Well, damn. (X-Men #128)

10 – Not All Mandroids

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In which Phoenix has nothing on Jamie Madrox when it comes to retcons, Pterosaurs have super punchable faces, Colossus gets laid, we are uninterested in the Savage Land, Wolverine and Storm are both pretty interesting, smiling costs extra if you’re Doctor Doom, Banshee saves the day, Alpha Flight tries, Angry Hovercraft Guy comes back, and Proteus is fairly upsetting.

X-Plained:

  • X-Men #109, 114-16, 118-122, and 125-128
  • Multiple Man
  • Metacontinuity
  • The Savage Land
  • Pterosaurs
  • Shi’ar mustache technology
  • Karl Lykos
  • Misty Knight
  • Colleen Wing
  • Wolverine in Japan
  • Mandroids
  • Moses Magnum
  • A Heist
  • Angus McWhirter, disgruntled hovercraft rental guy
  • Alpha Flight
  • Team Dynamics
  • Why you always leave a note
  • Proteus

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Next week: Secret origins, shipper wars, the Siege Perilous, and which of us would win in a fight.

As Mentioned in Episode 9 – Leprechaun Surprise Party

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Cassandra Nova: The worst evil disembodied parasitic sister ever.
Cassidy Keep (X-Men #101)
Nightcrawler is just ridiculously charming. (X-Men #101)
I keep trying to think of a Monster in a Box joke to make about X-Men and vacations, but no matter where it goes, it’s not going to be in good taste. (X-Men #101)
Page 3 of Storm’s origin flashback. Can we talk about Dave Cockrum splash pages and how they are AWESOME? (X-Men #102)
After the “Cyclops Has a Good Day” sketchbook is full, Rachel’s going to move on to “Cyclops tells Professor X to go fuck himself.” (X-Men #102)
And then, Leprechauns. (X-Men #103)
Here, Nightcrawler. Have a new mutation. And also I guess some more Leprechauns, because, why not? (X-Men #103)
Even fake Charles Xavier is kind of a douche. (X-Men #103)
“We also know what you think about when you masturbate.” (X-Men #103)
The rad bromance of Cain Marko and Tom Cassidy. (X-Men #103)
“Whaddayamean, ‘roll diplomacy’? I put all my points into claw weapons!” (X-Men #104)
Secondary mutation: awesome villain speeches. (X-Men #104)
So, that happened. (X-Men #104)
Cockrum is REALLY into this layout. (X-Men #105)
Fun fact: Misty Knight is the only one of these characters alive in the modern Marvel universe. (X-Men #105)
Phoenix wants you heralds of Galactus off her damn lawn. (X-Men #105)
Shi’ar Trek. (X-Men #105)
AND THEN THINGS GOT AWESOME. (X-Men #107)
“While you guys were fighting the functionally omnipotent Superboy clone, I beat a guy up and stole his clothes.” Wolverine: Chaos gamer. (X-Men #107)
I’m not sure what he expects Captain America to do about this. (X-Men #107)
The Phoenix Force. (X-Men #108)
More majestic Phoenix action. (X-Men #108)
“I realized that I’d left some scenery unchewed, and that would NEVER do.” (X-Men #111)
Magneto is COMMITTED to the supervillain schtick. (X-Men #112)
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (X-Men #112)
Okay, then. (X-Men #113)
Next week on Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men!

9 – Leprechaun Surprise Party

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In which Rachel refuses to back down from a challenge, we reject a point of canon, Leprechauns know Wolverine’s secrets, Erik the Red is (still) awful, Professor X is (still) a dick, the X-Men are your D&D party, the Shi’ar do a Star Trek riff, Phoenix is kind of a big deal, the circus comes to town, and Magneto gets creepy.

X-Plained:

  • Cassandra Nova
  • More early Claremont
  • Sound effects
  • Cassidy Keep
  • Seneschals
  • Shillelaghs
  • Image inducers
  • Black Tom Cassidy
  • Supervillain bromance
  • Bronze-age pacing
  • Leprechauns
  • Hovercraft rental
  • Muir Island
  • The Shi’ar Imperial Guard
  • The M’Kraan Cyrstal
  • Phoenix 101
  • Secret volcano lairs
  • Magneto’s mercifully short-lived age-play fixation
  • The (dis)continuity of mutant powers

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Next week: Wolverine punches a pterosaur, Cyclops grows a mustache, and everyone gets possessed!