Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: sauron

As Mentioned in Episode 426 – A Gift from the Lower Regions

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Karel’s planet may be far from Earth, but his people still appreciate a good Terminator 2 reference. (Uncanny X-Men #358)
Tu is a very Chris Bachalo character. (Uncanny X-Men #358)
Lookit this pulp hero-looking scallawag! (Uncanny X-Men #358)
They’re so dysfunctional. I love it. (Uncanny X-Men #358)
I TOLD YOU THE BEAR WAS CANON (Uncanny X-Men #358)
Deathbird is horny on main. (Team X 2000)
In the far future of 2018, it will be illegal to cover your navel. (Team X 2000)
It’s not Cable and Domino’s tub, but I suppose it’ll do. (Team X 2000)
Team X! (Team X 2000)
You know it’s a really dark future when Doom is fighting on the same side as the good guys (see also: Age of Apocalypse, the Summers Rebellion). (Team X 2000)
IT’S VERY SEXUAL (Team X 2000)
The more you know! (Team X 2000)
NEXT EPISODE: Domino rejoins X-Force!

426 – A Gift from the Lower Regions

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In which the Shi’ar have zero chill; Bishop and Deathbird do space opera; we travel to the far-future year of 2018; Alanna Nerimani stretches the definition of “bird”; Deathbird is the cool aunt; Bishop needs a break from dark futures; and Bishop and Sauron have an intimate encounter.

X-PLAINED:

  • The current number of Summers brothers
  • Uncanny X-Men #358
  • Team X 2000
  • The Shi’ar Empire (more) (again)
  • Shi’ar voices
  • Parker Posey vs. Posie Parker
  • Sexual dimorphism in art
  • The Ursaa
  • Organs
  • The Chnitt
  • Karel
  • Several cameos
  • Nullifier charges
  • Tu
  • The first appearance of Cyclops’s Captain America teddy bear
  • 2018
  • Alan Smithee
  • Gith
  • Deathbird’s terrible childhood
  • Shi’ar-occupied Earth
  • Alanna Nerimani
  • Your cool murder aunt
  • Earth-9922
  • Deathbird’s war journals
  • The Morlocks (but not those ones)
  • Team X (but not that one)
  • Bribery
  • A very sexual encounter
  • Explorations of disability and ableism in comics
  • Beast’s long, slow heel turn

NEXT EPISODE: Domino rejoins X-Force!

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As Mentioned in Episode 417 – Pterodactyl with a Gun

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Rogue anxiety dreams like nobody’s business. (Uncanny X-Men #353)
We call this move the “Lois Lane.” (Uncanny X-Men #353)
I love it when people remember that the Xavier School is–at least ostensibly–a real school. (Uncanny X-Men #353)
WOLVERINE, WHAT THE HELL?!? (Uncanny X-Men #353)
Not the best place to hide incredibly sensitive mechanical equipment, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men #353)
This is supposed to be a clever bait-and-switch, but that hand is fairly obviously not Rogue’s. (Uncanny X-Men #353)
He sure is. (Uncanny X-Men #353)
Valid question, buddy. (Uncanny X-Men #354)
Sauron’s current whereabouts, X-Plained. (Uncanny X-Men #354)
Continued from previous. (Uncanny X-Men #354)
Fuckin’ Marvel Canadians. (Uncanny X-Men #355)
Remember answering machines? (Uncanny X-Men #355)
Yes, excellent. (Uncanny X-Men #355)
Hi, brainwashed Alpha Flight! (Uncanny X-Men #355)
This sequence is objectively perfect. (Uncanny X-Men #355)
Jean, you REALLY don’t spring that costume on someone. (Uncanny X-Men #354)
…Fair, though. (Uncanny X-Men #355)
NEXT EPISODE: this whole mess

417 – Pterodactyl with a Gun

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In which you, too, can use Cerebro; Jubilee is here, for some reason; the Xavier School should absolutely not be accredited; Hulk Hands would solve many of Rogue’s problems; Sauron gets a gun; Psylocke pulls a Lois Lane maneuver; you really shouldn’t spring a Phoenix costume on anybody; Joseph has (another) identity crisis; and Canada has problems.

X-PLAINED:

  • Miles at SDCC
  • Uncanny X-Men #353-355
  • X-Men #73
  • A running motif
  • Wolverine’s sons
  • Margaret Stone
  • “fun”
  • The location of the original X-jet
  • A red herring
  • Sauron (more) (again)
  • Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy… in space!
  • How to ship a pterodactyl
  • Mighty appendages
  • The Agee Institute
  • Boundaries
  • Wallpaper
  • Joseph (more) (again)
  • New Year’s Resolutions
  • Sebastian Shaw and his wraith buddy (again)
  • The X-Men’s answering machine
  • What Wolverine does
  • Alpha Flight
  • Canada problems
  • A crossover
  • Phoenix problems
  • Jean Grey’s ‘90s costume
  • Found families
  • What makes the Dark Phoenix Saga an X-Men story

NEXT EPISODE: Reignfire, resolved!

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As Mentioned in Episode 370 – The Sound of Evil

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
So sad… but so colorful! (Uncanny X-Men #46)
(M – Jean’s yellow plaid garment is what we fashionistas call a “coat.” -J)
There’s a reason the Juggernaut’s armor makes him look kinda like a mushroom. (Uncanny X-Men #46)
Angel’s normally better than his teammates at dodging, but he’s weighed down by his fashion choices. Well, Jean’s, I guess. She made his costume. Possibly out of spite. (Uncanny X-Men #46)
JEAN GREY YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS (Uncanny X-Men #46)
That’s more like it! (Continuity aside.) (Uncanny X-Men #46)
Cheer up, kids. You’ll be back together in just a few issues. (Uncanny X-Men #46)
This is pretty much how Drag Race works, right? (Uncanny X-Men #52)
Shortest cold open ever. (Uncanny X-Men #52)
“Scott, you wore that out? I just made that for you for Bedroom Time! (Uncanny X-Men #52)
I appreciate how very 60s this pair of panels is. (Uncanny X-Men #52)
More 60s! (Uncanny X-Men #52)
It’s… it’s way more complicated than that, Lorna. (Uncanny X-Men #52)
Now that is how you start an issue! (Uncanny X-Men #60)
SCOTT SUMMERS YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS (Uncanny X-Men #60)
I wish we got to see more of Jean and Lorna as buds. (Uncanny X-Men #60)
We didn’t talk about this in the episode, but I love the story the Brotherhood’s body language is telling in the foreground. (Uncanny X-Men #60)
Miles’s favorite two-page spread. (Uncanny X-Men #60)
How can something so ridiculous be so genuinely tense? (Uncanny X-Men #60)
Aww Jager (Uncanny X-Men #60)
Name a better origin story – we dare you. (Uncanny X-Men #60)
Well, it beats the costume with the suspenders. (Uncanny X-Men #60)
NEXT TIME: Kitty makes some choices.

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

 

370 – The Sound of Evil (feat. Max Carleton)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Max Carleton and Miles take a trip back to the Silver Age, the origins of Marvel Girl’s telepathy are questionable, the nature of Polaris’s parentage is also questionable, and the quality of Sauron’s origin story shall never be questioned.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Locust (Dr. August Hopper)
  • Uncanny X-Men #46, 52, and 60
  • Genuine tragedy
  • Funereal fashion
  • Frederick “Amos” Duncan
  • The Juggernaut (Cain Marko) (again)
  • The Crimson Cosmos
  • Energy globules
  • Charles Xavier’s telepathy lending library
  • Jean Grey, spiteful seamstress
  • Erik the Red (the first one) (Scott Summers)
  • Lorna Dane, fashion icon
  • Filially-obligated villainy
  • Psychic-delia
  • The sadly short-lived Roy Thomas / Neal Adams run
  • Suspension of disbelief
  • Pteranodons
  • Sauron (Karl Lykos, fantasy nerd)
  • Alex Summers, perpetual captive and/or villain battery
  • Miles’s favorite two-page spread
  • How to choose the perfect supervillain name
  • X-Men: The Animated Series, 1960s Edition
  • Our Silver Age X-creator wish list
  • Magnetism

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur!

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As Mentioned in Episode 311 – Love Makes a Super Team

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
This friendship really never gets old. (X-Men Annual 1995)
Freakin’ Genesis, man. (X-Men Annual 1995)
The Nasty Boys, they are not. (X-Men Annual 1995)
Nathaniel Essex: The Hollywood Dracula Years. (X-Men Annual 1995)
The ladies love the cape. (X-Men Annual 1995)
In all fairness, I’m not sure I’d want to be naked in Teen Hank and Bobby’s makeouts cabin without cleaning first, either. (X-Men Annual 1995)
Meanwhile in the UK, a dramatic man and his dramatic ponytail! (X-Men Annual 1995)
I still think the photos were a bit much. (X-Men Annual 1995)
Anniversary or no, this image does not justify a double gatefold. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Jean Grey: thirsty on main. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Me, too, Monet. Me, too/ (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Damn, Piotr. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
“Non, mon ami, I do not have Prince Albert in a can.” (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Marrow may be bloodthirsty, but she’s also inclusive! (Uncanny X-Men #325)
What. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
Ew. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
This is why we can’t have nice things and/or organs. (Uncanny X-Men #325)
NEXT EPISODE: The Nobody People, with author Bob Proehl!

311 – Love Makes a Super-Team

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we decide to stop recognizing the nominal difference between X-Men and Uncanny X-Men; time travel may or may not wait for you; Mister Sinister has probably appeared in at least one Ed Wood film; we are a pro-Tingle podcast; X-Men is about family; the Braddock twins catch up; Sailor Moon > Shinobi Shaw; Generation X is inducted into the baseball tradition; and Storm does what she does with Morlocks in sewers.

X-PLAINED:

  • Franklin Richards’ impressive lineage
  • 311
  • Yet another structure for annuals
  • X-Men Annual 1995
  • Uncanny X-Men #325
  • Serious academic discussions
  • Faye Livingstone
  • Mister Sinister’s Hollywood adventures
  • Tyler Dayspring / Tolliver / Genesis (again)
  • Teenage optimism
  • An absolutely nonsensical villainous plot
  • A Hank McCoy that might have been
  • Friendship
  • Fraternal correspondence
  • Romance
  • Morlocks
  • The first time Storm stabbed a Morlock leader in the heart
  • Gene Nation
  • A really excessive cover
  • An intergenerational baseball game
  • Another fairly nonsensical villainous plot
  • The second time Storm stabbed a Morlock leader in the heart
  • X-horror
  • Other media X-fans may enjoy reading, playing, or watching

NEXT EPISODE: Bob Proehl X-Plains the Resonant Duology!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 277 – Hedgehogs of Cairo

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Sauron has hella abs… (X-Men Unlimited #6)
…and apparently a come-hither gaze? (X-Men Unlimited #6)
Sauron’s backstory is a wild ride even by Silver Age standards. (X-Men Unlimited #6)
“Also, I get three mana of any color.” (X-Men Unlimited #6)
That’s our Sauron! (X-Men Unlimited #6)
Karl Lykos is a cheerful guy. (X-Men Unlimited #6)
They say it’s the smell, but I bet the other pterosaurs are actually judging him for his jorts. (X-Men Unlimited #6)
Meanwhile in Cairo… (X-Men Unlimited #7)
It really doesn’t seem like Candra should be able to bend her arms and legs. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
Truly, a fancy beard. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
Urchins: 1, Gambit: 0. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
Later, this kid will be retconned to have been imaginary. Don’t think too hard about it. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
STEALTH! (X-Men Unlimited #7)
X-Men vs. Urchins. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
Seriously, Candra, Storm will stab you in a sewer and not even care. (X-Men Unlimited #7)
NEXT EPISODE: Sex?

LINKS & FURTHER DINOSAURS

277 – Hedgehogs of Cairo

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Sauron is a huge nerd; the Savage Land is where Marvel stores the weird stuff; an etymology detour does not come from the X-Pert you’d expect; and Storm will straight-up stab you.

X-PLAINED:

  • Responsible weapon storage
  • X-Men Unlimited #6-7
  • A very large creative team
  • Sauron (more) (again)
  • Blood-derived powers
  • The Mutates
  • A pterosaur glow-up
  • Achmed El-Gibar
  • Street urchins (and the etymology thereof)
  • How to get a t’ieve mentor
  • Style vs. taste
  • The proportional relationship between knife skills and leadership potential
  • Tattoos vs. healing factors

NEXT EPISODE: Sex?

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!