Sarah – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 469 – Killed by Death

December 1, 2024 Jay Leave a comment

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“Okay, everybody dig in!” (Uncanny X-Men #375)

And the fun begins. (Uncanny X-Men #375)

Professor Xavier is a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #375)

“Can I touch it?” (Uncanny X-Men #375)

Jaq and Fiz. (X-Men #95)

I can’t be the only one who finds this whole scene hilarious. (X-Men #95)

Well, damn. (X-Men #95)

Ouch. (X-Men Unlimited #25)

NEXT EPISODE: Solo shenanigans!

469 – Killed by Death

November 24, 2024 Jay 3 comments

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In which the Shattering officially concludes; you can’t swoop over the phone; toddlers are engines of pure chaos; the X-Men do some processing; and we are mildly scandalized by the absence of footnotes.

X-PLAINED:

Rama-Tut
Evan Sabahnur
Uncanny X-Men #375
X-Men #95
X-Men Unlimited #25
Skrull problems
One very upsetting way to identify a traitor
Skrullverine
Fiz and Jaq
The Ally
A ruse
Death’s mask
A dramatic revelation
Processing
The unrealized potential of Spirit Halloween
Wolverine memories
Rogue’s temporary tattoos
Yet another time loop

NEXT EPISODE: We segue into solo series!

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.

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As Mentioned in Episode 467 – Disorganizing Principle

November 8, 2024 Miles Leave a comment

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And then Marrow whacked a centaur with a dinosaur, as happens. (Uncanny X-Men #373)

Piotr Rasputin, clown in training. (Uncanny X-Men #373)

Nice Sienkiewicz-style sketchiness… (Uncanny X-Men #373)

What’s up, Doctor Klaw? (Uncanny X-Men #373)

Poor Sarah… (Uncanny X-Men #373)

Mikhail turns a chair into a dinosaur to prove every point. (Uncanny X-Men #374)

Jeez, at least put a beanbag chair in the corner or something. (Uncanny X-Men #374)

Marrow 4.0 meets Marrow 1.0. (Uncanny X-Men #374)

Marrow 4.0 meets Marrow 2.0. (Uncanny X-Men #374)

For him, it was Tuesday. (Uncanny X-Men #374)

I… definitely knew it all along! It was obvious, really! (Uncanny X-Men #374)

“I wish I could just turn into a bird like in X-Men Evolution.” (X-Men #93)

I’m starting with the elf in the mirror… (X-Men #93)

Honestly, Rogue’s response would’ve been understandable regardless of the nature of her powers. (X-Men #93)

Polaris is a little… out of character in this arc. Get used to it, I guess. (X-Men #93)

“So were Mystique and Destiny… Roommates? Gal Pals?” (X-Men #93)

I appreciate a clear sense of panel-to-panel movement. Even more so when it’s Rogue kicking ass. (X-Men #93)

Sunfire ponders how to quit the scene. (X-Men #94)

You wish it was just one journal, Kitty. Just you wait. (X-Men #94)

I know all of the As stand for Apocalypse, but I like to think Destiny was just giving her prophecies excellent grades. (X-Men #94)

Listen, Rogue, it could be worse – your mom may have disappeared in the middle of a sincere conversation, but at least she didn’t throw you off a bridge to be picked up by an evil wizard lady and her attractive daughter! (X-Men #94)

NEXT TIME: Jubilee gets revenge!

467 – Disorganizing Principle

November 3, 2024 Jay 3 comments

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In which Nightcrawler has a type; the Hill is a bad place to raise your kids up; Colossus introduces Marrow to art; we come out against autotrepanation; Mikhail Rasputin never learns; Destiny leaves clues from beyond the grave; and The Twelve looms.

X-PLAINED:

That one universe where Mystique raised Nightcrawler in an attic
An event in name only
Some shit that went down a while ago
The Hill (more) (again)
Uncanny X-Men #373-374
X-Men #93-94
Marrow as a child soldier
Rural Boston
Some asshole
Mikhail Rasputin (more) (again)
How to prove that you’re a god
The souls of furniture and some other things
The green psychic entity who’s been secretly controlling Mikhail Rasputin, I guess?
Ninja problems
B. Byron Biggs
Ronnie Lake
A Conspiracy
How Rogue and Destiny met
Compulsory heterosexuality
Destiny’s diaries
Prognostication vs. agenda-setting
Skrullverine’s power mimicry
How the Mannites could’ve been used in the Krakoan era

NEXT EPISODE: Secrets of Jubilee’s past!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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463 – The Fart Ghost That Walks Like a Manhattan

September 22, 2024 Jay 5 comments

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In which Gambit is fundamentally goofy; t’ieves love research; Magneto was ripped; Professor Xavier remains a jerk; Miles attempts to convey something very fundamentally visual in an audio format; Marrow is adorable; the X-Men pretty much disband (again); and a miniseries is the opposite of a vacation.

X-PLAINED:

Where Wolverine went
Gambit Annual 1999
Uncanny X-Men #372
X-Men #92
A lot of backstory
A very cute plastic goose
What Gambit does in his free time
Those weird fluid-filled tubes they put people in all the time for some reason
Gambit’s abs
The fart ghost (Mary Purcell)
Manhattan, Indiana
A very minor continuity error
Fart ghost metaphysics
A very bad idea
A muppetworthy death
Dream’s various ends
X-pajamas
Professional dinosaurs
Thinkers
Theoretical Cyclops-Daredevil team-ups
X-characters recognizable as civilians

NEXT EPISODE: The return of the Damocles Foundation!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 456 – Until/Unless

July 24, 2024 Miles Leave a comment

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Techno-organic cover #1! (Uncanny X-Men #371)

Cheer up, Chuck – it’s just naptime at your school! I guess they all forgot their red and blue mats. (Uncanny X-Men #371)

I’m not so sure about this plot development, but… she’s just so happy! (Uncanny X-Men #371)

Hey, don’t judge: you look way grosser under your outer layer. (Uncanny X-Men #371)

“Dis was not in Gambit’s horoscope!” (Uncanny X-Men #371)

The Phalanx Covenant by Doctor Seuss. (Uncanny X-Men #371)

Techno-organic cover #2! (X-Men #91)

Take that, Billy G! You know what you did. (X-Men #91)

I love these weird faces and terrifying bone-trees! (X-Men #91)

Oof, brutal. (But nice dress, Rogue!) (X-Men #91)

URRKK indeed! (X-Men #91)

And for one panel, we were joined by the spirit of Bill Sienkiewicz. (X-Men #91)

Techno-organic cover #3! Yep, that’s Colossus’s arm from the last cover – we didn’t realize they connected until our listener Alex pointed it out on the blog! (X-Men Annual 1999)

This montage is way more efficient at describing continuity than our podcast. (X-Men Annual 1999)

Colonel Nicholas J. Fury, leading with guns and crotch. (X-Men Annual 1999)

Red Skull loves the Power Glove. It’s so bad. (X-Men Annual 1999)

Miles learned about the field of neurosurgery’s Thumbtack Technique back in college. (X-Men Annual 1999)

Go, Gadget, Go! (X-Men Annual 1999)

Yes, we know Douglock’s robo-suspenders started out as a miscoloring of his New Mutants uniform, but… they kinda work? (X-Men Annual 1999)

None of these new series will make it past a year. (X-Men Annual 1999)

NEXT TIME: Cecilia’s back!

456 – Until/Unless

July 21, 2024 Miles 3 comments

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In which there’s nothing inherently wrong with monster-of-the-week; Marrow’s makeover extends to her font; Red Skull gets a Power Glove; Marvel sets up a slate of spinoffs; and you should hire Matt Hunter to produce your podcast!

X-PLAINED:

What Danger’s been up to lately
Uncanny X-Men #371
X-Men #91
X-Men Annual 1999
Crossover cover design
Skrullverine
Machine Man
Dethlok vs. Dethklok
Jack Truman (Agent 18) (to some extent)
A nice dress
An awkward reunion
Gambit as a mentor
Billy G.
A daring but silly rescue
Several upcoming series
Marrow’s bone bikini and/or pubes
Whether Rogue can absorb animals

NEXT EPISODE: Cecilia Reyes returns from retirement!

Want to hire J&MXPtXM producer Matt Hunter to produce your podcast? Email him!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 455 – Space, Geeks, and Galactus

July 19, 2024 Miles One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Where the streets have no [right angles in their fr]ame (X-Men #89)

“Hey, this gravestone’s taken! Get your own!” (X-Men #89)

Perhaps our very favorite Spider-Man. (X-Men #89)

Still more competent than the Great Lakes Avengers. (X-Men #89)

Kitty meets “Kitty”. (X-Men #89)

PICTURED: the computer lab Jay and Miles worked in back in college. (X-Men #89)

You’re all dead! And wear red! And from your employers you have fled! (X-Men #89)

Just a hell of a nice cover. (Uncanny X-Men #370)

I mean, Fake-Vision’s not wrong. (Uncanny X-Men #370)

“Over”-acting? I don’t understand what that phrase means. (Uncanny X-Men #370)

“As you know, Skrull-Bob…” (Uncanny X-Men #370)

That is an exceptionally Muppet-y Skrull. (Uncanny X-Men #370)

Superbeings to the left of me, space pirates to the right… (Uncanny X-Men #370)

Skrull-ternative medicine. (Uncanny X-Men #370)

Hey, those Skrulls are Muppet-y too! (X-Men #90)

In which Alan Davis draws everybody. (X-Men #90)

Okay, so Professor X’s plan doesn’t work, but… hell of a speech, Chuck. (X-Men #90)

“I said just a little off the top!” (X-Men #90)

Welp, here we go. (X-Men #90)

Who designed this thing?! (X-Men #90)

Well damn. (X-Men #90)

“You come around here often, reflection?” (X-Men #90)

NEXT TIME: Douglock’s back!

455 – Space, Geeks, and Galactus

July 7, 2024 Jay 8 comments

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In which Roadhouse is basically a Wolverine story; Spider-Man does crimes; space names are derivative; there are lots of good reasons to yell at Professor Xavier; the X-Men do Doctor Who; Galactus is not interested in your puny human feelings; Marrow gets a new look; the Skrulls need a crash course in UI; and we overthink bones.

X-PLAINED:

The time the Skrulls did “A Piece of the Action”
The trouble with benevolent dictatorships
X-Men #89-90
Uncanny X-Men #370
A New York City that is not in fact New York City
“Spider-Man”
A ruse
Faces
Skrull problems
Mar-Vell
Adam Warlock
Sass vs. joviality
Skrull Cop City
Disguises
Nova (Frankie Raye)
How Galactus eats planets
Condiments
Several melees
Bone pubes
Skrull UI
Whether Moopsy could drink Wolverine’s bones
X-Musicals

NEXT EPISODE: The return of Douglock!

The Roald Dahl short story whose title Jay couldn’t recall is “Beware of the Dog.”

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!