Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Rogue

As Mentioned in Episode 65 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 1

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/19/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
And so it begins. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Dazzler vs. Dazzler. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
We’d make a joke about taking a drink for every X-Men/X-Factor near miss, but you’d die of alcohol poisoning before the end of the crossover. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Aw, Colossus. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Not sure why Alanis Morisette didn’t bring this up in “Ironic.” (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Good job Kitty. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
Well, damn. (Uncanny X-Men #210)
There’s something really unsettlingly cheery and Silver-Age about this page. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
No idea who the purple individual is, which is a shame, because they seem awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
STORM, NO! DON’T SPLIT THE PARTY! (Uncanny X-Men #211)
Whoa. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
This is the closest they’ll come to an actual conversation until Inferno. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
Whoops. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
So, THAT happened. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
SO, THAT HAPPENED. (Uncanny X-Men #211)
Dani Moonstar’s powers are METAL AS FUCK. (New Mutants #46)
“My powers are limited to the counterculture.” (New Mutants #46)
Powerlessness and the sense of being able to accomplish too little too late are pervasive themes in the Mutant Massacre. (New Mutants #46)
Everything’s sadder when teenagers are reacting to it. (New Mutants #46)
Well, shit. (New Mutants #46)
How have they not learned to listen to Doug by now? He is ALWAYS RIGHT. (New Mutants #46)
Cold, Wolverine. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
In her defense, everything is in fact well and truly fucked. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
And again. See what I meant about the alcohol-poisoning thing? (Uncanny X-Men #212)
You can, however, take a drink when Storm takes off her clothes for no clear reason. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
First mention of the man with the plan! (Uncanny X-Men #212)
Well done, Wolverine! (Uncanny X-Men #212)
I don’t care who you are: Callisto is better at leadership than you. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
It’s cool. It’s just Thor; we’ll be covering that stuff next episode. (Uncanny X-Men #212)
Psylocke’s psychic projection is adorable and also super creepy. (Uncanny X-Men #213)
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Uncanny X-Men #213)
Betsy Braddock is hardcore. (Uncanny X-Men #213)
Two classic Claremontisms… (Uncanny X-Men #213)
…on a single page. (Uncanny X-Men #213)
Damn, Psylocke. (Uncanny X-Men #213)
How much do we love Psylocke’s totally femme-princess superhero costume? SO MUCH. (Uncanny X-Men #213)
Next Week: The Mutant Massacre, Part 2!

If you want to follow along with the crossover, you can find a guide to the reading order–and how we’re dividing it between episodes–here.

 

65 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 1

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/19/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/19/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which we hit the first big X-centric crossover; a lot of Morlocks die; X-Factor is a dark farce; Kitty Pryde talks down a mob without using racial slurs; when Doug Ramsey tells you there’s a problem, you listen; and Callisto should be one of the iconic leaders of the Marvel Universe.

X-PLAINED:

  • Death by intellectual-property dispute
  • The Mutant Massacre
  • Mutant Massacres that might have been
  • Uncanny X-Men #210-213
  • New Mutants #46
  • The Marauders
  • The best way to guarantee the New Mutants’ involvement in a storyline
  • Limbo fashion
  • The responsibility of leadership
  • Wolverine vs. Sabretooth
  • Psylocke vs. Sabretooth
  • The evolution of crossovers
  • Characters we’d like to see more of post-Secret Wars

NEXT WEEK: The Mutant Massacre, Part 2!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 63 – Wildways

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Listen to the episode here!

Guest art by Ryan Hill.
Can we take a moment to acknowledge how rad this cover is? Because it is pretty darn rad. (New Mutants Annual #2)
It really, really sucks to be Psylocke a lot of the time. (New Mutants Annual #2)
I’m gonna go with “because you are absolutely delightful,” Doug. (New Mutants Annual #2)
TELEVISION IS BAD FOR YOU. (New Mutants Annual #2)
It also sucks to be Captain Britain fairly frequently, although still generally less than it sucks to be Psylocke. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Illyana is the best at chores. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Mojo is the best at being TERRIFYING. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Well, then. (New Mutants Annual #2)
No, not THAT Jubilee. The other Jubilee. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Warlock has some parent issues. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Subtext: not just for the ladies! (New Mutants Annual #2)
Somewhere in this, there’s a metaphor about unprotected sex. (New Mutants Annual #2)
Dang, Psylocke. (New Mutants Annual #2)
“Aw” or “Ew,” depending on your vague guess at Betsy’s age at this point in continuity. (New Mutants Annual #2)
While X-Men and New Mutants will shortly start crossing over in the series proper, this was the second consecutive year they had interconnected annuals. (X-Men Annual #10)
Danger Room open. Take a drink. (X-Men Annual #10)
VALID QUESTIONS. (X-Men Annual #10)
Welcome to the X-Men, Longshot! Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men Annual #10)
Teen Magneto always looks super smug, presumably because of his excellent hair. (X-Men Annual #10)
Meet the proto-X-Babies! (X-Men Annual #10)
Fun fact: For a long time, Wolverine’s claws were believed to be–and written as–technology rather than an aspect of his mutation. (X-Men Annual #10)
These graduation costumes look like things you would make someone wear as part of some kind of oblique punishment. (X-Men Annual #10)
The second round of graduation costumes weren’t much better. (New Mutants #61)
Darla is inexplicably dressed as Li’l Orphan Annie, which might make this a meta cameo. (X-Men Annual #10)
These costumes are not okay, but Magneto’s is 100% less okay than any of the others. (Note: in other panels, the arm band is generally colored red.) (X-Men Annual #10)
I am totally willing to believe that the Simonsons can comprehend the language of beasts, or at least of Thor’s frog bros. (X-Men Annual #10)
The X-Men are uncharacteristically bloodthirsty throughout this issue. (X-Men Annual #10)
‘Kay. (X-Men Annual #10)
AGHHHHHHHHHH (X-Men Annual #10)
You only have two more days to get June’s shirt of the month: Three Wolverine Moon, by Tyler Crook!
Next Week: APOCALYPSE NOW

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

ART CHALLENGE: Design a new graduation costume for one or more of the New Mutants! Send your designs to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, with the subject line GRADUATION, and we’ll collect ‘em on the blog at the end of the week!

63 – Wildways

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Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Guest art by Ryan Hill!
Guest art by Ryan Hill!

In which cartoon logic is terrifying; it’s immensely frustrating to be Doug Ramsey; Psylock gets evil robot eyes; queer subtext is not just for the ladies; Danger Room cold opens are the new Kitty’s costume changes; Mojo predicts reality TV; Longshot joins the X-Men; and we answer what may be the best question we have ever gotten.

X-PLAINED:

  • Captain Britain Corps
  • Alan Davis
  • New Mutants Annual #2
  • X-Men Annual #10
  • Captain Britain (Brian Braddock)
  • Psylocke (Betsy Braddock)
  • Slaymaster
  • Mojo
  • Why cartoon logic is terrifying
  • Animal Man vol. 1 #5, “The Coyote Gospel” (Incorrectly described as “The Ballad of Wile E. Coyote” in episode)
  • Wildways
  • Robot eyes
  • Template
  • Snitch
  • Straight Arrow
  • Jubilee (but not that Jubilee)
  • The trouble with determining character ages in superhero comics
  • The stated mission of the New Mutants
  • The proto-X-Babies
  • Longshot’s X-Men debut
  • The New Mutants’ graduation costumes
  • A really charged costume choice
  • Tonal shifts in New Mutants
  • X-Men vs. geese

NEXT WEEK: APOCALYPSE NOW!

ART CHALLENGE: Design a new graduation costume for one or more of the New Mutants! Send your designs to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, with the subject line GRADUATION, and we’ll collect ‘em on the blog at the end of the week!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Special thanks to Ryan Hill for this week’s art, and to Claire Miller for the research X-Pertise!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 60 – Rachel Summers and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

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Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/14/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
The last thing you see before you die. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
Do you ‘ship Storm and Bree Morrell now? You probably should. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
The outfits in this arc are just 100% amazing. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
Damnit, Rachel. This is why we can’t have nice things. (Uncanny X-Men #206)
“Teamwork! Our only weakness!” (Uncanny X-Men #206)
“It’s Madelyne! They’ve shot her! And dyed her hair! And given her fairly extensive cosmetic surgery!” (Uncanny X-Men #206)
Wolverine hates Arizona. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
We were going to make up a drinking game based around how many times Wolverine really or metaphorically kills Rachel in this story, but you would die of alcohol poisoning by the end of the first issue. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Spoiler: It’s a metaphor. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
THE OUTFITS, THO. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
…And again. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Same song, different issue. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Neither of you is wrong. You’re just both assholes. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
Well, that escalated quickly. (Uncanny X-Men #207)
THOSE. OUTFITS. THO. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Kitty tells it like it is. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Damnit, Selene. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Feelings are boring. Murder is awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
It really sucks to be a mortally wounded telepath, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Oh, SNAP. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
What. Selene. No. What are you even doing. No, Selene. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
No, but seriously: costume satin, right? (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Well, then. (Uncanny X-Men #208)
Never not funny. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
And then, it got weird. Weirder. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
‘Kay. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
That one time a member of the Inner Circle wore a costume so bad it actually killed him. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Fun fact: this is the second time they’ve pulled this particular move. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Okay, that’s actually pretty awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Seeya in Excalibur, kid! (Uncanny X-Men #209)
Next Week: New Mutants breaks our hearts, over and over and over.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING LISTENING:

60 – Rachel Summers and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/14/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/14/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Rachel Summers went to sleep with Wolverine’s claws in her dreams and now there’s claws in her lungs and when she got out of bed this morning she tripped on her traumatic backstory and by mistake she dropped the Phoenix Force in the sink while the water was running and she could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

X-PLAINED:

  • Freedom Force
  • Supervillains’ day jobs
  • Uncanny X-Men #206-209
  • The X-Men’s first brief tenure in San Francisco
  • Terrible house guests
  • Lindsay McCabe
  • David Ishima
  • Bree Morrell
  • A metaphorical ghost story
  • Lycanthropy, but dumber
  • The crossing of several ethical lines
  • Death by narrative stasis (and also impaling)
  • Craft night at the Hellfire Club
  • Death by costume satin (and also heart failure)
  • One way to write someone out of a book
  • Our favorite Summers kids
  • X-Music

Special thanks to Elle Collins

NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants break your heart.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Rachel Recaps X-Men: Evolution
S1E6: Middleverse

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I like this episode, because this is where Evolution starts to catch its stride and find its voice. “Middleverse” is kind of a mess animation-wise, but it’s also a one-off, a lighthearted breath of fresh air before we dive headfirst into the Big Ongoing Story next episode.

It also gets bonus points for being a Forge episode, which is almost always a plus. Comics Forge tends to be dark and brooding and at the center of convoluted storylines and soap opera, but two out of three animated Forges are uncomplicatedly delightful. The best animated Forge, of course, is Wolverine and the X-Men Forge, who just straight-up is Miles to the extent that we had his action figure in college and more than one person assumed it was a custom portrait. But Evolution Forge is pretty great, too.

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As Mentioned in Episode 55 – How Nightcrawler Got His Groove Back

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Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/10/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
We really can’t blame her. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
You’d think Piotr would have caught on to the existence of spandex by now, what with being a superhero and all. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
Daaaaaaaang. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
Well, that’ll end well. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
Aw, kiddo. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
A miracle of magnetism! (Uncanny X-Men #202)
The Beyonder sucks, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men #202)
I know it’s just a flashback, but man, Rogue, serious dick move there. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
Don’t worry–we’ll X-Plain this whole thing at more length next episode. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
Whaaaaaaaaaaat. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
I’m pretty sure no one ever brings this up again, which seems weird in retrospect. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
The Phoenix Force lends itself to some damn cool layouts. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
And again. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
And then the Beyonder went away and everyone lived happily ever… HA NO JUST KIDDING. (Uncanny X-Men #203)
THAT COVER, THO (Uncanny X-Men #204)
Nightcrawler likes Secret Wars about as much as we do. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
There are some very specific benefits to living in a comic-book universe. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
How do people always work out what’s going on so quickly? “Oh, I must clearly be in a giant pinball machine.” Really? REALLY? (Uncanny X-Men #204)
NIGHTCRAWLER IS DELIGHTFUL. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
ARCADE IS ALSO DELIGHTFUL. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
Comics Should Be Fun: A Manifesto by Kurt Wagner. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
Nightcrawler and Arcade make really excellent mutual foils–both of them appreciate the theatricality of the genre in ways that few of their peers do. (Uncanny X-Men #204)
OKAY THEN (Uncanny X-Men #204)
At this point, the X-Men going to any kind of cultural event is basically an invitation for a super-fight to land on their front lawn. (Alpha Flight #33)
Well, then. (Alpha Flight #33)
Third-worst honeymoon ever. (Alpha Flight #33)
I know there’s plot-relevant stuff going on here, but can we also take a moment to appreciate Wolverine’s awesome opera suit? (Alpha Flight #33)
Awk-ward. (Alpha Flight #33)
“Seriously, what the hell, lady?” (Alpha Flight #33)
I wonder if James Hudson and Charles Xavier are friends. It seems like they would be. (Alpha Flight #34)
Yer a good kid, Wolverine. (Alpha Flight #34)
Not actually plot relevant. We just think it’s funny. (Alpha Flight #34)
Daaaaaaaamn, Barry Windsor-Smith. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
No, seriously: Daaaaaaaamn, Barry Windsor-Smith. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Subtitle: “Someday Katie Power is going to make a therapist very rich.” (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Look at this awesome badass 5-year-old. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
That layout! (Uncanny X-Men #205)
It really sucks to be Wolverine a lot of the time. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
A) This page is amazing. B) Still can’t get over how much Barry Windsor-Smith’s Wolverine–drawn in 1986–looks like Hugh Jackman. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Wolverine has reconsidered his stance on transhumanism. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Sick burn, man. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
Awww. (Uncanny X-Men #205)
NEXT WEEK: The Beyonder kills the New Mutants.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

55 – How Nightcrawler Got His Groove Back

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/10/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/10/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Secret Wars II ruins everything (more) (again) (forever); Rachel Summers hates the Beyonder almost as much as we do; Miles gets mad at comics; Nightcrawler does not do gritty well; Lady Deathstrike gets wired; and we consult our favorite 3-year-old for book recommendations.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rogue vs. Carol Danvers
  • Life before social media
  • Uncanny X-Men #202-205
  • Alpha Flight #33-34
  • Phoenix II vs. the Beyonder (twice)
  • The Reverse Gwen Stacy
  • Still more miracles of magnetism
  • Kitty Pryde disambiguation
  • SFLANNG!
  • Good times in Murderworld
  • The third-worst honeymoon
  • Lady Deathstrike (Yuriko Oyama)
  • Spiral’s Body Shop
  • The Reavers
  • One way to build a Wolverine antagonist
  • Skirting the Comics Code
  • Sound-effects lettering as a narrative device
  • Good X-books for a 3-year-old

Special thanks to Katie and Kestrel P.

NEXT WEEK: The Beyonder kills the New Mutants!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Rachel Recaps X-Men: Evolution

S1E4: Mutant Crush

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Let me get this out of the way fast: “Mutant Crush” is my least favorite episode of X-Men: Evolution. Yes, even more than “The Cauldron,” which I’m pretty sure is objectively the worst episode of the series.1

But while “The Cauldron” is terrible, it’s hilariously terrible. “Mutant Crush” is. Well. It’s a decently written episode, I guess. And it’s got a lot of moments I dig. It’s just also really fucked up and disturbing, and not in hilarious and pedantic ways.

Seriously: Shit gets dark in this episode. If you don’t want to read a humorous write-up of a story that is essentially about stalking and kidnapping, you may want to skip this one. I recognize that this is essentially a humor column, and I tried to find okay ways to be funny about this episode, but I mostly ended up with a lot of tonal whiplash, and a pretty high volume of commentary on the ways women are socialized to appease violent men, and some really inappropriate references to John Fowles’ The Collector.2

And on that note: Here is a link to the National Domestic Violence Hotline’s help page. NDVH is a pretty solid organization, and in addition to the actual hotlines–which include a phone line and web-based chat, both confidential and anonymous–they’ve got a very good list of resources, including LGBTQI and teen-specific stuff. (NDVH is, however, mostly U.S.-specific. If you know of international resources or have other specific recommendations, please stick ‘em in the comments, and maybe we can get something useful out of this clusterfuck of an episode.)

Right. So. LET’S TALK ABOUT SOME X-MEN!

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