In which Rogue flouts air traffic regulations; Jay is very sorry for how badly he butchers Gambit’s accent; stealth is directly proportionate to how loudly you dress; Rogue and Gambit win the gold in Pairs Punchin’; Candra is a big jerk; you should ABSOLUTELY NOT remove an impaled object; Rogue busts through some tropes; and we have complicated feelings about the Ultimate universe.
X-PLAINED:
Rogue’s biological parents
Marvel New Orleans
Brood Trouble in the Big Easy
Rogue/rogue disambiguation
Rogue #1-4
Bella Donna Boudreaux
What may or may not happen if Rogue kisses a Transformer
Cody Robbins (again)
Natural causes
Supervillain funeral crashers (again)
Inverse Ninja Law (Law of Conservation of Ninjutsu)
The Bill the Pony incident
Relative culpability
Nature vs. nurture
Tante Mattie (Mattie Baptiste)
Candra’s new threads
How long it takes to drive from Westchester, NY, to Caledcott, MI
How Jay learned to love Gambit (but not to stop worrying)
Gris-Gris
Lapin
Fifolet
Punching hallucinations
Questa
Knives as superpowers
Inversions of several gendered superhero tropes
Closure
The limits of intent
Magnetos’ (sometimes) kids’ hair
Whether we’ll cover Ultimate X-Men
NEXT EPISODE: Spiky boys, yelling!
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In which X-Men don’t get to take vacations; Jay makes a somewhat belated announcement; sometimes Gambit is legitimately pretty cool; the assassins get a day-glo-up; The Crow holds up surprisingly well; Gambit gets exiled again; and Artie and Leech damn well better get to live happily ever after.
X-PLAINED:
Rogue and Gambit’s honeymoon
A thing that Jay is working on
Brood Trouble in the Big Easy
Bella Donna Boudreaux
Gambit #1-4
The New Orleans trilogy
“X-Ternally Yours”
The tithe collector
Things about which your mama may or may not have warned you
Dramatic captions
Candra
The Thieves’ and Assassins’ Guilds
The pact
Julian Boudreaux (again)
Henri LeBeau and his mustache
Critical nudity
Terminal nudity
Marius Boudreaux
Accent inconsistencies
Draping
Jean Luc LeBeau
Treachery most foul
(Select elements of) Gamit’s origin story
How thieves get kids
Gambit as a romantic hero
Ungrateful children of the Marvel Universe
Petite Chou
Clubbing with Gambit
Subtlety (for some value of the term)
Lifestyles of the rich and immortal
The Church of Lost Thieves
The Elixir of Life
An undersold side effect
A very lucky break
Artie and Leech’s probable adult lives
Villains we’d like to see on the X-Men
NEXT EPISODE: Rogue!
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In which we enter the era of bomber jackets; the covers are the cards; Genosha remains neither green nor pleasant; the A is for “Avengers,” not “A-list”; Henry Peter Gyrich is the straightest of men; Cyclops sets an important precedent; Exodus is a huge jerk; we speculate about movies we have definitely not seen; Stephen Strange is not a qualified OBGYN; the Avengers are really weird even by our standards; and Max manages to connect two of Marvel’s most complicated family trees.
X-PLAINED:
One way to name babies
Blood Ties
Infinite bomber jackets
Avengers #368-369
X-Men #26
Avengers West Coast #101
Uncanny X-Men #307
Several very fancy covers
A shadow government, but not that kind of shadow government
Genosha (more) (again)
The Avengers, as of 1993
A special delegation
The Genoshan resistance
U.S. Agent
A time Cyclops told someone other than Dracula to follow their heart
The many belts of Nicholas Fury
Several members of the Maximoff family (more) (again)
Black Knight (Dane Whitman)
Sersi
A very drawn-out fight
Roy Thomas dialogue
The racist icing on the racist cake
Exodus (Bennet du Paris)
Diplomacy, kind of
Apolitical avenging
Magneto’s dream
A green and pleasant beverage
Yet another energy-dome-enclosed crisis
The giant, angry disembodied head of Charles Xavier
What is definitely the actual plot of the Purge movies
The surprisingly torrid private lives of the Maximoffs
Scarlet Witch and Vision’s kids
Master Pandemonium and his weird baby hands
Damian Hellstrom
How we’d handle Magneto’s family in modern Marvel
Robopaternity
A possible link between the Summers and Maximoff families
NEXT EPISODE: Live at Emerald City Comic Con, with Vita Ayala, Seanan McGuire, and Leah Williams!
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which X-Force is the new New Mutants; Professor is what Cable has instead of a burn book; Cable develops emotional literacy; Jay has a lot of feelings about Shatterstar; Cowboys can be wizards, too; you really shouldn’t call adult people “child”; privilege is truly the greatest superpower; Cameron Hodge remains improbably difficult to kill; Candy Southern gets to write the ending to her own story; and Emerald City Comic Con is coming up REALLY fast!
X-PLAINED:
Reignfire
Jay & Miles at Emerald City Comic Con
Some new merch
X-Force #26
Uncanny X-Men #305-306
The evolution of Tabitha Smith’s code name
X-Force and its members (more) (again)
Professor’s narrative function
A sudden mustache and its potential implications
A lot of things about Shatterstar
Cable as a leader
Armor full of skin
Louis St. Croix and/or Mark Twain
An inappropriate nickname
The first Xavier school prom
Inflatable erotic accessory semantics
The return of Candy Southern
The return of Cameron Hodge
Moral event horizons and how to handle them in comics
Pros and cons of dating telepaths
NEXT EPISODE: A Maximoffstravaganza, feat. Max Carleton
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Magneto may or may not own a Namor body pillow; Cyclops probably doesn’t color-code his files; Colossus is Not Okay; bats are nature’s flashers; there are a lot of reasons to be mad at Fatal Attractions; Charles Xavier is surprisingly durable; the X-Men know their Aeschylus; Jean Grey goes in through the face; and bringing Wolverine to fight the guy who controls metal was probably not a great idea.
X-PLAINED:
Mutant Alpha
Uncanny X-Men #304
X-Men #25
False foreshadowing
Costume storage and display
Relative moral event horizons
The character dehabilitation of Magneto
The Magneto Protocols
How Cyclops organizes his files
An excellent eulogy
The complicated legacy of Illyana Rasputin
Several noteworthy absences
A memorable funeral
The ‘behold’ thing
A protective mesh of electromagnetic fire
A well-played callback
A strategically dubious plan
Several Prometheus Bound quotations
An uncharitable assumption
The blood-brain barrier
A severe costume injury
The definitive scene of Fatal Attractions
The root of Onslaught
Which X-Men would podcast
Our preferred comics formats
NEXT EPISODE: Colossus still can’t catch a break
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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
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