Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/17/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Bobby makes some valid points. (New Mutants #36)
Remember being fourteen? (And also a mutant superhero?) (New Mutants #36)
Damnit, Beyonder. (New Mutants #36)
Hey, look! It’s a literal derailment in the middle of a metaphorical derailment! (New Mutants #36)
Don’t you hate it when your best friend’s soul gets split by a cosmic force and suddenly you’re stuck with her eldritch armor, weapon, and amulet, when all you really wanted was a library book? Yeah, us, too. (New Mutants #36)
Not even being brainwashed and absorbed into a cosmic hive-mind can come between Cannonball and his classic science fiction allusions. (New Mutants #36)
Aw, Illyana. (New Mutants #36)
This cover = Rachel’s definitive Beyonder. (New Mutants #37)
The New Mutants have the best incidental moments by a wide margin. (New Mutants #37)
Seriously: WHO THE HELL IS THAT ABOVE RAHNE? (New Mutants #37)
Relevant metaphor is relevant. (New Mutants #37)
THE BEYONDER IS A DICK. (New Mutants #37)
THAT IS NO EXCUSE. (New Mutants #37)
The Beyonder comes off as a petulant child in a lot of Secret Wars, but in New Mutants, he’s legitimately terrifying. (New Mutants #37)
Headcanon: In Marvel Asgard, there is at least one legit full-length saga about this storyline, focused on Dani. (New Mutants #37)
This cover. This scene. This series. (New Mutants #38)
Of all the scenes in all the issues of New Mutants, NONE has ever stuck with Rachel as hard as this one. (New Mutants #38)
Aw, kids. (New Mutants #38)
YES (New Mutants #38)
Is there a better pep talk than a pep talk from FROG THOR? We think not. (New Mutants #38)
Warlock, you delightful scamp! (New Mutants #38)
Empath is the worst ever forever. (New Mutants #38)
That “Next Issue” blurb, tho. (New Mutants #38)
Another memorable cover. (New Mutants #39)
Aw, man. (New Mutants #39)
Sadneto. (New Mutants #39)
Keith Pollard’s Emma is so good. (New Mutants #39)
It just DOES NOT STOP SUCKING to be Tom and Sharon. (New Mutants #39)
Madneto! (New Mutants #39)
Emma Frost, you sneaky person! (New Mutants #39)
WARLOCK IS THE BLACKBIRD. YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID. (New Mutants #40)
Magneto is trying so hard to be the man he promised Xavier he’d be. Poor guy. (New Mutants #40)
Really, Cap? Really? You gonna go there? (New Mutants #40)
Teacher Magneto might be the best Magneto. Definitely one of the most critically unremembered and underused. (New Mutants #40)
Aw, New Mutants. (New Mutants #40)
The perfect Emma Frost moment. (New Mutants #40)
Next Week: Angel in tiny briefs (more) (again), too much Tower, and the dubious debut of Apocalypse!
LINKS AND FURTHER READING:
Yaybo! Marvel Unlimited added New Mutants #36-40 just in time for this episode (starting here)!
In terms of formative influence, Kyle Baker’s Why I Hate Saturn was basically Rachel’s third parent.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/17/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which nothing comes between Sam Guthrie and his classic sci-fi allusions; Sunspot tries; the Beyonder is really scary; you can have Danielle Moonstar’s agency when you pry it from her cold, dead hands; Empath remains the worst kid; Tom Corsi and Sharon Friedlander just cannot catch a break; Emma Frost gets nuanced; Magneto does the wrong things for the right reasons; Rachel and Miles like liking things; and we finally wrap up Secret Wars II.
X-PLAINED:
Soulsword custody
New Mutants #36-40
The best Secret Wars II tie-in
Several Beyonder-triggered crises of confidence
A literal derailment in the midst of a metaphorical derailment
The Greek tragedy of Illyana Rasputin
Personal personifications of death
Counting coup
The death of the New Mutants
Crossover-related PTSD
A pep talk from a frog
Art style as a component of narrative
The Hellions (again)
Sadneto
Madneto
A completely avoidable fight
Rachel’s definitive Emma Frost moment
Emma Frost, Charles Xavier, and moral culpability
NEXT WEEK: The dubious debut of Apocalypse!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Rachel screwed up and accidentally gave David material for episode 54 instead of 53, so there’s no illustration this week. Instead, we offer both our sincere apologies and this photo of Miles dressed up as Mister Sinister for a costume party.
In which Wolverine doesn’t care about your baby; Storm takes charge; duels are terrible bases for systems of government; editorial mandate is hell on a marriage; Magneto is a pretty cool teacher; Jean Grey comes back; and we have mixed feelings about the Phoenix retcon.
X-PLAINED:
Kenji Uedo
Uncanny X-Men #201
New Mutants #35
Avengers #263
Fantastic Four #286
Classic X-Men #8
The post-Trial of Magneto status quo
Nathan Christopher Charles Summers
A small cross-section of Cyclops’s myriad issues
The wrong means to the right end
Magneto’s educational philosophy
The politics of creative credits
“You Know Who”
The Phoenix retcon
Several unrelated break-ins
The return of Jean Grey
Jean and the Phoenix Force
Alternate-timeline Madelynes Pryor
Jean Grey’s code names
NEXT WEEK: X-Factor begins! (for real, this time – sorry about that SNAFU!)
You can find a companion index to the material mentioned in this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and travel mugs available until 1/11/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
The Amazing Nightcrawler, drawn by The Amazing Sienkiewicz! (New Mutants #22)
Nightcrawler is a pretty awesome teacher; it’d have been cool to see more of him in this capacity. (New Mutants #22)
Aw, Rahne. (New Mutants #22)
Well, that escalated quickly. (New Mutants #22)
AW, RAHNE. (New Mutants #22)
The villains of Rahne’s fairy tale look awfully familiar. (New Mutants #22)
Back to those guys shortly. First: Cats! (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)
Ohhhh, hey, it’s Cloak and Dagger! (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)
Spider-Man spends a lot of this issue lurking around and providing exposition. (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)
“I mean, dude, the title of the book is Marvel Team-Up, not Marvel Let’s Fight in a Church.” (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)
“How did you guess you were on a butcher block? I mean, aside from that it’s a big square table and you’re in a slaughterhouse and everything probably smells like blood and… NOPE! DEFINTELY SUPERPOWERS AT WORK!” (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)
What?! Dude, it’s not even addictive. That’s the stupidest evil plan ever. (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)
This isn’t really relevant to the episode; it’s just hilarious. (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)
NONE MORE GOTH (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)
Wait, what? (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)
‘Kay. (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)
Spider-Man’s “Yeah.” in that last panel, though. (Marvel Team-Up Annual #6)
THAT COVER. (New Mutants #23)
“On Wednesdays, we dress glam.” (New Mutants #23)
Harry’s Hideaway is basically the Heartbreak Hotel of Salem Center, but like a million times less awesome. Still awesome, mind, but the Heartbreak Hotel sets a high bar. (New Mutants #23)
It’s really easy to forget that the X-Men are also kind of officially students? Maybe? Sometimes? (New Mutants #23)
At this point, New Mutants is basically the Sam and Dani Show, and we are 100% down with that. (New Mutants #23)
Aw, Rahne. (New Mutants #23)
WELL, THAT CAN’T BE GOOD. (New Mutants #23)
That is… an awfully Demon Bear-looking Sunspot on that cover. Not that we’re complaining, mind. (New Mutants #24)
Now you don’t need to read Marvel Team-Up Annual #6! You’re welcome! (New Mutants #24)
Indulge us in a momentary digression to make note of Magneto’s fancy hair. (New Mutants #24)
Like Rogue, we are firmly on Sam’s team on this one. (New Mutants #24)
Oops. (New Mutants #24)
We’re not sure whose fault they are, but we’re really, really into the way some combination of Claremont, Orzechowski, and Sienkiewicz uses captions and arrows in this book in general, and this spread in particular. (New Mutants #25)
GIANT BLUE XAVIER HEAD! (With some paradoxically good advice, but still. GIANT BLUE XAVIER HEAD!) (New Mutants #25)
‘Kay. (New Mutants #25)
I really want them to just yell “NONE MORE GOTH” every time they teleport away. (New Mutants #25)
Illyana may be sleepy, but she’s not wrong. (New Mutants #25)
NONE MORE GOTH! (New Mutants #25)
NEXT WEEK: We talk to G. Willow Wilson! She talks to us! ALSO: X-MEN!
Links and Further Reading:
Information and links to donate toward Bill Mantlo’s ongoing care
(You can also send physical donations–and cards and letters–addressed as follows:
Mike Mantlo
26364 East Pintail Road
Long Neck, DE 19966
Please make out any checks to “Michael Mantlo” — Bill’s legal guardian.)
Waiting for the T is absolutely delightful, and if you’re not already reading it, we acutely envy you the experience of going back through the archives for the first time.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and travel mugs available until 1/11/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which Miles and his Doom voice return triumphant; we reach an understanding regarding Lila Cheney; Mob science is pretty shoddy; Magneto has fancy hair; New Mutants Xavier is Best Xavier; no one is more goth than Cloak and Dagger; and you can have Rachel’s Speed Racer references when you pry them from her cold, dead hands.
X-Plained:
Spider-Man crossovers
Cats
Marvel Team-Up Annual #6
New Mutants #22-25
Phone calls with bears
Glam day at the Hellfire Club
Rahne’s fairytale
Cloak & Dagger
Drugs
Eldritch curtains
A seriously flawed evil plan
Harry’s Hideaway
The Sam and Dani Show
Magneto’s hair
Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch’s parentage
Waiting for the T
Whether Cloak and Dagger are mutants
How to buy original art
NEXT WEEK: G. Willow Wilson!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Art by Sal Buscema and Karl Bollers, Marvel Holiday Special 1994 one-shot (1994)
HI, LISTENERS! Some of you have been asking us to write an X-Men holiday gift guide. We think it’s very thoughtful of you to consider purchasing gifts for fictional characters, and to help you out, we have created this handy last-minute guide! Click through for our picks for Beast, Shadowcat, and six more…
THE COMPLETE GUMBY
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FOR: Beast. We already know Hank McCoy is a fan of Art Clokey’s weird green guy–in fact, back in his Defenders days, he used to collect and trade bootleg Gumby VHSs (seriously–it’s canon). Modern Beast has been having a rough time; give him an excuse to unwind with seven disks’ worth of psychedelic claymation, and maybe a plate of pot brownies.
(And now we’re imagining a stoner comedy starring Hank McCoy and Abigail Brand. MARVEL. CALL US.)
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WHAT HE’D PREFER: Moral certitude.
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BACKUP GIFT:Dr. Strange: A Separate Reality, by Steve Englehart and Frank Brunner, because you know Beast would be super into a comic about a buddy of his that two dudes literally wrote while wandering around Central Park tripping balls in the middle of the night.
RIP IT: HOW TO DECONSTRUCT AND RECONSTRUCT THE CLOTHES OF YOUR DREAMS, BY ELISSA MYRICH
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FOR: Shadowcat. The X-Men’s most die-hard superfashionista can always use another tool in her arsenal–after all, you never know when you’ll find yourself hankering for a new costume with no Shi’ar tech in sight.
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WHAT SHE’D PREFER: A canonical girlfriend.
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BACKUP GIFT:The Complete Elfquest, vol. 1.
MAGNUM, P.I.’S SIGNATURE HAWAIIAN SHIRT
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FOR: Sunspot. I mean, Bobby da Costa probably already owns one of these, or six, but you can really never have too many backup Magnum, P.I. shirts, right?
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WHAT HE’D PREFER: To actually be Magnum, P.I.
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BACKUP GIFT: A signed pinup of Tom Selleck.
THE REQUISITE UGLY HOLIDAY SWEATER
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FOR: Cyclops. Left to his own devices, Scott Summers basically dresses like a six-year-old and has a long tradition of happily sporting really, really horrible sweaters; so you know he’ll at least get some use from it. (Plus, if he hates it, he’ll probably be too polite to say anything.)
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WHAT HE’D PREFER: A world in which he’s functionally irrelevant.
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BACKUP GIFT: Socks.
ERROL FLYNN FILM COLLECTION
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FOR: Nightcrawler. Kurt Wagner is a huge Errol Flynn fan, to the point of modifying his image inducer to reproduce the visage of the classic swashbuckler; so he’s sure to enjoy a boxed set of Flynn’s most famous films.
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WHAT HE’D PREFER: A soul.
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BACKUP GIFT: A collection of John Donne sonnets.
LOCAS: THE MAGGIE AND HOPIE STORIES, BY JAIME HERNANDEZ
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FOR: Magik. I have no actual narrative justification for this. I just think Magik would really dig some Love & Rockets.
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WHAT SHE’D PREFER: Nothing your fragile mortal mind can grasp, kid.
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BACKUP GIFT: A iPod preloaded with pop-culture nostalgia podcasts. For someone who runs with the unusually pop-savvy New Mutants, Illyana has spent relatively little of her life with any kind of media access.
CLASSIC X-MEN PVC SET
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FOR: Iceman. Bobby Drake is all about original-five nostalgia, and he’s kind of a goofball, so he would probably enjoy the hell out of this X-Men PVC set, featuring the original team, Professor X, and Magneto (and one of the better Iceman sculpts out there).
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WHAT HE’D PREFER: For Professor X to still be alive and everyone to be friends again.
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BACKUP GIFT: An Elsa tiara.
ALL SEVEN SEASONS OF DESIGNING WOMEN
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FOR: Rogue. Look, Rogue does not need another pair of fancy gloves. What Rogue needs is seven seasons of the most badass, progressive, Bechdel-test-acing Southern-lady sitcom of all time.
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WHAT SHE’D PREFER: A three-day bender with Julia Sugarbaker, and maybe conscious control over her powers.
Art by David Wynne. Prints available in the shop until 12/28, or contact David for the original!
In which we play Six Degrees of Lila Cheney; Cannonball gets a makeover; Earth does not in fact blow up; the X-Men like their s’mores with thinly veiled allegories; and Magik dabbles in erotic friend fiction.
X-Plained:
Strong Guy
Annuals
New Mutants Annual #1 (Steal This Planet)
Lila Cheney
Both versions of Cats Laughing
The Vrakanain
Chris Claremont Book Club
Uncanny X-Men Annual #8 (The Adventures of Lockheed the Space Dragon and His Pet Girl Kitty)
Some dubious campfire games
Illyana’s Space Opera
Space pirate X-Men
Some long-awaited resolution
NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Miles’s Giant-Size Special #1, featuring God Loves, Man Kills!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
The first full reveal of the Demon Bear. (New Mutants #18)
Gradually, across the Demon Bear Saga, the strangeness bleeds out from the panels and into the design elements. The corner square of New Mutants #18 was a Bob McLeod team portrait. This is the corner square from New Mutants #19.
The same thing is happening on the credits pages–in this case, the title, but just wait ’til you get to next issue… (New Mutants #19)
Tom Corsi and Sharon Friedlander are both charming and in serious trouble. (New Mutants #19)
Those sound effects. Those colors. That layout. (New Mutants #19)
The Demon Bear is less a creature than a space: looming, protean, with very little detail save for its eyes, teeth, and claws. (New Mutants #19)
Illyana’s soul armor makes its first appearance. (New Mutants #19)
And then that happened. (New Mutants #19)
The cover of New Mutants #20. We have no idea what’s going on in the corner square.
It’s worth remembering, as you flip through these, that you’re watching the definition and scope of superhero comics change and stretch. We are–literally and figuratively–off the map. (New Mutants #20)
Map detail. (New Mutants #20)
Later in the same issue. (New Mutants #20)
And finally. (New Mutants #20)
Sienkiewicz’s art gets a lot of attention, but Glynis Wein’s colors are absolutely critical to what the Demon Bear Saga accomplishes visually. (New Mutants #20)
Illyana’s soul armor spreads. (New Mutants #20)
Corsi and Friedlander, in their demon forms. (New Mutants #20)
The Demon Bear breaks down. (New Mutants #20)
Whoa. (New Mutants #20)
New Mutants: generally pretty okay with race and culture issues, but when it fails, it fails HARD. (New Mutants #20)
“Also, I recently leveled up and learned Cure Moderate Wounds.” (New Mutants #20)
One of the best covers of all time. (New Mutants #21)
Actually, let’s take a moment to look at that without the design elements, too, because it’s just that gorgeous. (New Mutants #21)
The “don’t let the normal kids see” joke kinda never gets old. (New Mutants #21)
Binary’s hair, tho. (New Mutants #19)
In case you were wondering, this is why Lee Forrester ends up finding Magneto in the middle of an ocean in Uncanny X-Men #187. (New Mutants #21)
TEENAGERS. (New Mutants #21)
Scariest makeover ever. (New Mutants #21)
YAY FOR ROCKY & BULLWINKLE REFERENCES! (New Mutants #21)
Warlock wakes up. (New Mutants #21)
It’s theoretically possible to imagine Warlock designed by an artist other than Bill Sienkiewicz, but why would you ever want to? (New Mutants #21)
Can we take a moment to acknowledge the self-restraint we are demonstrating by not just filling this entire gallery with pictures of Warlock? (New Mutants #21)
Warlock trying to make friends with inanimate objects is the gift that keeps on giving. (New Mutants #21)
Doug Ramsey X-plains proportionate response. (New Mutants #21)
“Can we keep him?” (New Mutants #21)
Next Week: Crossovers!
Special thanks to Andrew Vestal for help assembling the images for this post.