Remy LeBeau – Page 9 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

254 – Carry Each Other

June 30, 2019 Miles 12 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Nicole Miller is fashion designer to Earth-1218 and Earth-616, Jay rejects the word “bestest”, we kind of want to just read every word of X-Men #30 aloud, One is a perfect wedding song for Scott and Jean, and you save the last dance for who brought you.

X-PLAINED:

The perils of animated weddings
X-Men: The Wedding Album
Nonstandard trim sizes
Misattributed Oscar Wilde quotes
Shatterstar’s favorite Olympic event
Jean Grey’s short-lived modeling career
Computo, Commander of the Robot Hive
A most excellent wedding dress
Cursive fonts in comics
Jean Grey and Jubilation Lee, ambiguously excellent chosen family
X-Men #30
An event decades in the making
Wolverine, Master of Penmanship
Charles Xavier, reader stand-in
The largely forgotten Madelyne Pryor
The understandably tentative Rachel Summers
The bow-tie scene
A phenomenal two-page spread
A set of perfect vows
A bittersweet song for a bittersweet couple
Victor Creed, vengeful kitty-cat
Rogue and Gambit, best worst wedding guests
Video albums vs. Instagram
Beast and Banshee, jazz combo
Scott and Jean as a couple vs. individuals
The necessity of Scott and Jean’s relationship context

NEXT EPISODE: Goodbye, Phoenix. Hello, Britanic.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

As Mentioned in Episode 253 – Autumn in the Uncanny Valley

June 23, 2019 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Aw, these kids. (Uncanny X-Men #208)

THEY’RE SO BAD AT BEING PEOPLE AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. (Uncanny X-Men #208)

I also love them. (Uncanny X-Men #208)

Really, this is one of those issues that just makes me want the X-Men to always be happy and never have to do any superhero stuff. (Uncanny X-Men #208)

Fucking hawks, always poaching passes on the gridiron. (Uncanny X-Men #208)

Jean “Grab fate by the throat and hold on until it stops moving” Grey. (Uncanny X-Men #208)

What do YOU think Jean is saying here? Fill in her word balloon for a chance to, I dunno, I guess we could publish a gallery of them? (Uncanny X-Men #208)

The second scariest face in this issue. (Uncanny X-Men #208)

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Uncanny X-Men #208)

Excellent use of ironic juxtaposition, there. (Uncanny X-Men #208)

It’s very text-heavy in Charles Xavier’s brain. (Uncanny X-Men #209)

“Now, let’s talk about my silvery mane.” (Uncanny X-Men #209)

I bet he wouldn’t be so depressed if he knew how good his depression beard looked! (Uncanny X-Men #209)

WHY DOES NOBODY IN THIS UNIVERSE HAVE APPROPRIATE PROFESSIONAL BOUNDARIES?! (Uncanny X-Men #209)

Version 1. (Uncanny X-Men #209)

Version 2. (Uncanny X-Men #209)

Ah, there it is. (Uncanny X-Men #209)

“Funny, I don’t remember that day being quite so caption-heavy.” (Uncanny X-Men #210)

“Later, we’re all going to go break into the zoo and flash the zebras. Trust us. It’s TRADITION.” (Uncanny X-Men #210)

Not a lot, Carl. Not a lot. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

“Look, Nathan, this is basically how we bond in my family.” (Uncanny X-Men #210)

He just hangs out in that position. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

“Let’s see. I went after a man in hospice care and got my ass kicked. What’s even lower-hanging fruit?” (Uncanny X-Men #210)

I can’t stop imagining them having to bat those captions out of the way as they run forward. (Uncanny X-Men #210)

He looks so mad about it! (Uncanny X-Men #210)

NEXT EPISODE: Obviously.

LINKS & FURTHER HEADLINES

Max is a hero to the people.*
*Jay

253 – Autumn in the Uncanny Valley

June 23, 2019 Jay 17 comments

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In which an engagement begins; Jean Grey’s Walden Puddle counterpart is definitely Nicole; Cyclops is the telepathic equivalent of a pit trap with spikes at the bottom; Charles Xavier’s subconscious is very dialogue-heavy; nobody ever has appropriate professional boundaries; Cable dabbles in passive aggression; and the best is yet to come.

X-PLAINED:

Some of Blaquesmith’s recent activities
Uncanny X-Men #308-310
A very sweet retcon
Thanksgiving “traditions”
How to scare crows
Emplates
Feelings and telepathy
A proposal
A misprint
Thanksgiving at the Xavier School
A somewhat alarming manifestation of a conscience
The lies Charles Xavier tells himself
Xavier’s depression beard
The evolution of Amelia Voght
Angry Claremontean Narrator: The Movie
The anticlimactic return of Carl “X-Cutioner” Denti
An unexpected resolution
Foreshadowing
Trans voices in the larger comics conversation

NEXT EPISODE: The wedding!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, or your favorite podcatcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

HAPPY PRIDE! This month, we’re donating all of the proceeds from our TeePublic shopto Trans Lifeline!

As Mentioned in Episode 245 – Natural Causes

April 28, 2019 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

I love this cover, and I love this series. (Rogue #1)

I wonder if she just kisses planes every once in a while just in case one turns out to be a Transformer. (Rogue #1)

And that’s how we deal with street harassers. (Rogue #1)

Rogue’s backstory has stayed remarkably consistent over the years, especially by X-Men standards. (Rogue #1)

Gambit’s awkward facial expressions in this series are absolutely delightful. (Rogue #1)

Oh. THIS guy. (Rogue #1)

Meanwhile in a late ’80s music video… (Rogue #1)

The Assassins’ guild has the weirdest cell phone plans. (Rogue #1)

Gambit gets a lot more interesting when you realize his flirting is largely performative. (Rogue #2)

The uncontested champions of Pairs’ Punching! (Rogue #2)

Oh, hell, yeah. (Rogue #2)

As a responsible teacher, Wolverine makes sure to brief all his students about Inverse Ninja Law. (Rogue #3)

“I WAS coming up with new cheers, but den you showed up on dat motorcycle.” (Rogue #3)

I didn’t notice this my first time through, but what the HELL is going on with Lapin’s facial hair? (Rogue #3)

Oh. Hell. Yeah. (Rogue #3)

OH HELL YEAH (Rogue #4)

Seriously, why is Cody eight years old? (Rogue #4)

NEXT EPISODE: Pointy boys, yelling!

LINKS & FURTHER ADVENTURES:

The popular perception of Juggaloes is both inaccurate and classist as hell. Don’t be that guy.
Jay is not wrong about Gambit and Johnny Castle.
Conservation of Ninjutsu (as illustrated in The Adventures of Dr. McNinja)
SERIOUSLY, DON’T PULL THE KNIFE OUT!!!!!

245 – Natural Causes

April 28, 2019 Jay 12 comments

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In which Rogue flouts air traffic regulations; Jay is very sorry for how badly he butchers Gambit’s accent; stealth is directly proportionate to how loudly you dress; Rogue and Gambit win the gold in Pairs Punchin’; Candra is a big jerk; you should ABSOLUTELY NOT remove an impaled object; Rogue busts through some tropes; and we have complicated feelings about the Ultimate universe.

X-PLAINED:

Rogue’s biological parents
Marvel New Orleans
Brood Trouble in the Big Easy
Rogue/rogue disambiguation
Rogue #1-4
Bella Donna Boudreaux
What may or may not happen if Rogue kisses a Transformer
Cody Robbins (again)
Natural causes
Supervillain funeral crashers (again)
Inverse Ninja Law (Law of Conservation of Ninjutsu)
The Bill the Pony incident
Relative culpability
Nature vs. nurture
Tante Mattie (Mattie Baptiste)
Candra’s new threads
How long it takes to drive from Westchester, NY, to Caledcott, MI
How Jay learned to love Gambit (but not to stop worrying)
Gris-Gris
Lapin
Fifolet
Punching hallucinations
Questa
Knives as superpowers
Inversions of several gendered superhero tropes
Closure
The limits of intent
Magnetos’ (sometimes) kids’ hair
Whether we’ll cover Ultimate X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Spiky boys, yelling!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 244 – Terminal Nudity

April 21, 2019 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

You can tell he’s evil because he’s the only assassin who… wears black? (Gambit #1)

“And how is your mustache?!” (Gambit #1)

Wolverine is basically the Mary Worth of the X-Men. (Gambit #1)

…Okay, yeah, I get why he’s kind of cool. (Gambit #1)

You can tell the captions are serious business because of the fake torn edges. (Gambit #1)

It seems weird that the first thing he did was throw his coat over her. That’s weird, right? (Gambit #2)

Maybe the accents skip a generation. (Gambit #2)

They have fun. (Gambit #2)

The Tithe Collector knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men! (Gambit #2)

No, seriously, look at this Shadow-looking dude. (Gambit #2)

Fashion! (Gambit #3)

Well played. (Gambit #3)

I just really love that he changes into THIS for infiltration. (Gambit #3)

Candra got over pants centuries ago. (Gambit #3)

It’s cool that she survives and everything; but, ew. (Gambit #4)

Remy “John Constantine” LeBeau. (Gambit #3)

NEXT EPISODE: Rogue’s turn!

LINKS & FURTHER DRAMA:

Jay is writing a thing that may be relevant to your interests in the intersection of Marvel and audio.
We first encountered the T’ieves’ Guild in Episode 194 – Brood Trouble in the Big Easy.
Go watch Intacto; it’s brilliant.
The Thief of Always is basically Clive Barker in Ray Bradbury drag. It’s not going to blow your mind; but it’s a fun read.
As a gloomy ’90s teen, Jay was of course very into The Crow; which holds up surprisingly well. It can’t rain all the time!

244 – Terminal Nudity

April 21, 2019 Jay 18 comments

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In which X-Men don’t get to take vacations; Jay makes a somewhat belated announcement; sometimes Gambit is legitimately pretty cool; the assassins get a day-glo-up; The Crow holds up surprisingly well; Gambit gets exiled again; and Artie and Leech damn well better get to live happily ever after.

X-PLAINED:

Rogue and Gambit’s honeymoon
A thing that Jay is working on
Brood Trouble in the Big Easy
Bella Donna Boudreaux
Gambit #1-4
The New Orleans trilogy
“X-Ternally Yours”
The tithe collector
Things about which your mama may or may not have warned you
Dramatic captions
Candra
The Thieves’ and Assassins’ Guilds
The pact
Julian Boudreaux (again)
Henri LeBeau and his mustache
Critical nudity
Terminal nudity
Marius Boudreaux
Accent inconsistencies
Draping
Jean Luc LeBeau
Treachery most foul
(Select elements of) Gamit’s origin story
How thieves get kids
Gambit as a romantic hero
Ungrateful children of the Marvel Universe
Petite Chou
Clubbing with Gambit
Subtlety (for some value of the term)
Lifestyles of the rich and immortal
The Church of Lost Thieves
The Elixir of Life
An undersold side effect
A very lucky break
Artie and Leech’s probable adult lives
Villains we’d like to see on the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Rogue!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 235 – Fatal Extractions

February 17, 2019 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

If there’s anything I look for in an event anniversary issue, it’s an interrupted funeral. (Uncanny X-Men #304)

Nobody likes Fabian Cortez. (Uncanny X-Men #304)

“Always alone… and always dramatic.” (Uncanny X-Men #304)

Speaking of dramatic… (Uncanny X-Men #304)

One of the best of many callbacks. (Uncanny X-Men #304)

Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men #304)

I’m curious about a lot of the inclusions and exclusions in this crowd. (Uncanny X-Men #304)

BEHOLD! (Uncanny X-Men #304)

“We live in space.” (Uncanny X-Men #304)

I wonder how many issues have had variations on this title. (X-Men #25)

HE’S VERY CLEARLY FACING AWAY. (X-Men #25)

Dang, Magneto. (X-Men #25)

“Professor, this plan is terrible.” (X-Men #25)

This implies that Xavier’s decision to wipe Magneto’s mind was the plan from the start… (X-Men #25)

Dr. Spock would like a word with you, Magneto. (X-Men #25)

“Damnit, that was my favorite shirt!” (X-Men #25)

That’s gotta smart. (X-Men #25)

…Well, damn. (X-Men #25)

Please note that even bereft of his mind, Magneto’s cape is DRAMATIC AS HELL. (X-Men #25)

NEXT EPISODE: Reality bites.

235 – Fatal Extractions (Fatal Attractions, Part 2)

February 17, 2019 Jay 34 comments

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In which Magneto may or may not own a Namor body pillow; Cyclops probably doesn’t color-code his files; Colossus is Not Okay; bats are nature’s flashers; there are a lot of reasons to be mad at Fatal Attractions; Charles Xavier is surprisingly durable; the X-Men know their Aeschylus; Jean Grey goes in through the face; and bringing Wolverine to fight the guy who controls metal was probably not a great idea.

X-PLAINED:

Mutant Alpha
Uncanny X-Men #304
X-Men #25
False foreshadowing
Costume storage and display
Relative moral event horizons
The character dehabilitation of Magneto
The Magneto Protocols
How Cyclops organizes his files
An excellent eulogy
The complicated legacy of Illyana Rasputin
Several noteworthy absences
A memorable funeral
The ‘behold’ thing
A protective mesh of electromagnetic fire
A well-played callback
A strategically dubious plan
Several Prometheus Bound quotations
An uncharitable assumption
The blood-brain barrier
A severe costume injury
The definitive scene of Fatal Attractions
The root of Onslaught
Which X-Men would podcast
Our preferred comics formats

NEXT EPISODE: Colossus still can’t catch a break

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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