Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Rachel Summers

55 – How Nightcrawler Got His Groove Back

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/10/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 5/10/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Secret Wars II ruins everything (more) (again) (forever); Rachel Summers hates the Beyonder almost as much as we do; Miles gets mad at comics; Nightcrawler does not do gritty well; Lady Deathstrike gets wired; and we consult our favorite 3-year-old for book recommendations.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rogue vs. Carol Danvers
  • Life before social media
  • Uncanny X-Men #202-205
  • Alpha Flight #33-34
  • Phoenix II vs. the Beyonder (twice)
  • The Reverse Gwen Stacy
  • Still more miracles of magnetism
  • Kitty Pryde disambiguation
  • SFLANNG!
  • Good times in Murderworld
  • The third-worst honeymoon
  • Lady Deathstrike (Yuriko Oyama)
  • Spiral’s Body Shop
  • The Reavers
  • One way to build a Wolverine antagonist
  • Skirting the Comics Code
  • Sound-effects lettering as a narrative device
  • Good X-books for a 3-year-old

Special thanks to Katie and Kestrel P.

NEXT WEEK: The Beyonder kills the New Mutants!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 53 – Sometimes They Come Back

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Cyclops has mixed feelings about fatherhood. (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Rick Leonardi is so good. (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Let’s pause for a moment to admire Rachel’s super sharp outfit. Those yellow shoes! (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Not actually story-relevant. I just really like this panel. (Uncanny X-Men #201)
You do you, Rogue. (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Madelyne Was Right. (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Look at Magneto on the end, like, “I’m a supervillain, and I think these people are out of their damn minds.” (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Like the outcome was ever in question. Also, how awesome is Leonardi’s Storm? So awesome. (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Cyclops’s father issues are basically their own character in this issue.
Grey house break-in #1 of 2. (Uncanny X-Men #201)
Love, love, love the way Mary Wilshire draws contemporary fashion–and uses it as a subtle storytelling element. (New Mutants #35)
This is what happens when, between the inks and the colors, someone decides you can’t show characters in just their underwear. (New Mutants #35)
Lee Forrester has no time for your ridiculous superhero hijinks. Lady’s got a job to do. (New Mutants #35)
Fun Fact: This poppy-field environment first appeared in Uncanny X-Men #175, where Cyclops used it to take down Rogue. (New Mutants #35)
On one hand: poor Warlock. On the other hand: I LOVE THIS PANEL SO MUCH. (New Mutants #35)
THE MIRACLE OF MAGNETISM! (New Mutants #35)
Horses are fucking terrifying. (New Mutants #35)
Warloooooooooock. (New Mutants #35)
Sienkiewicz eyebrows are the best eyebrows. (New Mutants #35)
Magneto is the cool teacher. (New Mutants #35)
This is what happens when you flout FAA guidelines for the safe transport of Kirby dots. (Avengers #263)
GOOD QUESTION, Captain Marvel! (Avengers #263)
Spoiler: This entire plot line is a pointless red herring. (Avengers #263)
Bonus Namor abs for you. (Avengers #263)
WHAT A SHOCKING TWIST! (Avengers #263)
If no one sends in lyrics to “Like a Phoenix,” we’re going to be kind of disappointed. (Fantastic Four #286)
1) Those credits, man. 2) THAT EPIGRAM. (Fantastic Four #286)
Look at She-Hulk and Hercules being all charming in the background. (Fantastic Four #286)
Hi, Jean. We missed you, too. (Fantastic Four #286)
“Also, there’s no way any actual human being would get that haircut.” (Fantastic Four #286)
Grey house break-in #2. Doesn’t anyone ever think to call ahead? (Fantastic Four #286)
Beast X-plains the Dark Phoenix Saga. (Fantastic Four #286)
“I’m a retcon, Jean. Just run with it.” (Fantastic Four #286)
Aw. (Fantastic Four #286)
Classic X-Men #8 does the whole thing over again, somewhat more graphically.
Next Week: X-Factor begins (for real, this time)!

53 – Sometimes They Come Back

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Rachel screwed up and accidentally gave David material for episode 54 instead of 53, so there's no illustration this week. Instead, we offer both our sincere apologies and this photo of Miles dressed up as Mister Sinister at a costume party.
Rachel screwed up and accidentally gave David material for episode 54 instead of 53, so there’s no illustration this week. Instead, we offer both our sincere apologies and this photo of Miles dressed up as Mister Sinister for a costume party.

In which Wolverine doesn’t care about your baby; Storm takes charge; duels are terrible bases for systems of government; editorial mandate is hell on a marriage; Magneto is a pretty cool teacher; Jean Grey comes back; and we have mixed feelings about the Phoenix retcon.

X-PLAINED:

  • Kenji Uedo
  • Uncanny X-Men #201
  • New Mutants #35
  • Avengers #263
  • Fantastic Four #286
  • Classic X-Men #8
  • The post-Trial of Magneto status quo
  • Nathan Christopher Charles Summers
  • A small cross-section of Cyclops’s myriad issues
  • The wrong means to the right end
  • Magneto’s educational philosophy
  • The politics of creative credits
  • “You Know Who”
  • The Phoenix retcon
  • Several unrelated break-ins
  • The return of Jean Grey
  • Jean and the Phoenix Force
  • Alternate-timeline Madelynes Pryor
  • Jean Grey’s code names

NEXT WEEK: X-Factor begins! (for real, this time – sorry about that SNAFU!)

You can find a companion index to the material mentioned in this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 48 – Guitar Solos of the Gods

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/22/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
X-Men! (X-Men Annual #9)
New Mutants! (X-Men Annual #9)
Check out the gorgeous John R. Neill homage going on in that title card. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
Karma, transformed. Adams draws her very differently–both more realistically and more recognizably–than Sienkiewicz or Leialoha; and it would be awesome to see a superhero with this as their default shape. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
Marvel Asgard is basically the land of metal album covers. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
Aw, Doug. No one appreciates you. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
Asgardian Wars is chock full of pop-culture cameos and references. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
GET IT? Not if you weren’t reading Longshot as it was coming out! (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
Warlock in a nutshell. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
Bobby has found his element. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
AMARA, WHAT IS THE FIRST RULE OF DEALING WITH FAIRIES? (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
The hands-down most awesome variation on the Darkchylde design. If only this had stuck around. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
No, seriously, Shan is literally on Arrakis. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
THE WARRIORS THREE ARE THE BEST AND ANYONE WHO TELLS YOU OTHERWISE IS FULL OF WRONG. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
Fire-elf Magma. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
Throughout the nine realms, skalds sing of the masterwork fire extinguishers of Nidavellir. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
The Dani-becomes-a-Valkyrie arc reminds me of the thing where literally everyone else realizes you’re queer before you do. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
Another Darkchylde panel, because this costume is just so damn good. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
IT’S STORM AND SHE’S A HAWK AND SHE HAS A TEENY MOHAWK. That’s all. Carry on with your business. (New Mutants Special Edition #1)
Those title cards, though. (X-Men Annual #9)
What, don’t you have a psychic link with your “roommate”? (X-Men Annual #9)
‘Kay. (X-Men Annual #9)
TOO SOON, RACHEL. TOO SOON. (X-Men Annual #9)
Because I was raised by bleeding-heart feminists in the ’80s, I now have “Free to Be… You and Me” stuck in my head. THANKS, CLAREMONT. (X-Men Annual #9)
Aw, man. (X-Men Annual #9)
I want to see a “What If” splinter story where Sam is an epic hero and also basically Carrot from Discworld. I mean, there kind of is one–“What if the New Mutants Had Stayed in Asgard”–but still. MORE. (X-Men Annual #9)
DANI LITERALLY NO ONE IN THIS ROOM HAS PHYSICAL POWERS. (X-Men Annual #9)
Art Adams draws awesome Warlock. (X-Men Annual #9)
WOLF MAKEOUTS! (X-Men Annual #9)
Subtext: Not just for the ladies! (X-Men Annual #9)
This isn’t directly relevant to the episode. It’s just awesome. (X-Men Annual #9)
NOW LET’S GO DEFEAT THE FRENCH! (X-Men Annual #9)
It’s no KRAKADOOM, but I guess it’ll do. (X-Men Annual #9)
Dani is THE BEST VALKYRIE. (X-Men Annual #9)
“Well, at least I have this 1/6-scale statuette to keep me company.” (X-Men Annual #9)
NEXT WEEK: Rachel and Miles get lucky.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

  • The Mighty Thor #362 is one of the best issues of one of the best runs in Marvel history.
  • For craft wonks, we recommend the hell out of the Thor Artist’s Edition, if you can get your hands on a copy.
  • Actually, you know what? Just go read the whole Simonson run, right now. It’s collected and available in a bunch of forms. You won’t regret it. we promise.
  • Once you’re done reading Thor, go watch Leverage, because it is wonderful.

48 – Guitar Solos of the Gods

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/22/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/22/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Asgardian Wars occupies the precise intersection of Miles’s favorite things; Marvel Asgard is your favorite metal album; no one appreciates Cypher; Wolfsbane gets some action; Warlock gets meta; Cannonball is a catch; Rachel Summers gets a new costume; Loki does Shakespeare; and Rachel overthinks Leverage.

X-PLAINED:

  • Various Mjolnirs and their attendant powers
  • Asgardian Wars
  • New Mutants Special Edition #1
  • X-Men Annual #9
  • The Surtwar
  • Art Adams
  • Amora the Enchantress
  • Lorelei
  • Several pop culture cameos
  • A really dubious beach party
  • The Viking Sorceress Asgardian Portrait of Dorian Grey
  • Ed Grimley
  • Hrimhari
  • Wolf makeouts
  • The Marvel version of Norse mythology
  • The Warriors Three
  • Rule #1 of dealing with fairies
  • A hawk ‘hawk
  • Valkyries
  • Einherjar
  • A costume in somewhat questionable taste
  • Interdimensional lightning-bolt mixology
  • Our favorite Thor story, ever
  • How to get your friends and neighbors into comics
  • Asgardian mutants (or lack thereof)
  • X-Leverage cross-casting

NEXT WEEK: Longshot!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 47 – The Price of Power

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/15/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
“Is this foreshadowing?”

“Nah. Just a book recommendation.”

“Because it really sounds like foreshadowing, Sam.”

“Former X-Man, huh?”

(X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)

Well, that escalated quickly. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
Someone needs to sit Rachel Summers down for a long and serious conversation about proportional force. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
WHOOPS. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
“HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU: DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO!” (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
Those That Sit Above In Shadow. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
Seriously, though, don’t do that shit. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
“Think there’s a twist? “Nah.” (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
A) Scott looks like a doof without his glasses. B) I wonder if Marvel got a lot of pissed off letters about his eyes changing color in this issue. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
“We all got superpowers, but the important part is the AMAZING OUTFITS.” (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
WELL THAT COULD BE LESS AWKWARD. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
SUPER not cool, Xavier. Also: Remember when Scott’s eyes were blue like five pages ago? ‘CAUSE THE COLORIST DOESN’T! *rimshot* (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
I know they all gave the powers back at the end, but I really don’t see why Heather couldn’t have remade this outfit and then worn it ALL THE TIME, because it is awesome. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #1)
THAT CAT, THOUGH. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #2)
Aw, Snowbird. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #2)
There have been near-infinite variations on this gag, and they’re never not great. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #2)
Aw, Jean-Paul. Your team is kind of awful. I mean, so are you, but still. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #2)
COLD, Wolverine. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #2)
Well, shit. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #2)
OH, THAT EXPLAINS SOME THINGS. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #2)
This is about as close as the Summers family ever seems to come to healthy communication, so enjoy it while it lasts. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 1, #2)
I don’t care if they’re not costumes. DRINK ANYWAY. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 2, #1)
Throughout this story, Nightcrawler seems to be in a different genre than the rest of the cast. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 2, #1)
Can’t you just picture John Cassady physically crossing this spread off his bucket list? (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 2, #2)
Also this panel. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 2, #2)
Alberta, in case you were wondering–just a little south of Calgary. (X-Men/Alpha Flight vol. 2, #2)
NEXT WEEK: Asgardian Wars!

Many thanks to Emergency Backup Co-Host and Alpha Flight X-Pert (is there an Alpha-Flight-appropriate portmanteau for that?) Elisabeth Allie! Go check out Elisabeth’s blog, and follower her on Twitter!

47 – The Price of Power (feat. Elisabeth Allie)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/15/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 3/15/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Emergency Backup Co-Host Elisabeth Allie saves the day; the Berserkers are not the breakout hit you’ve been waiting for; Paul Smith continues to be awesome; nothing good ever happens in the Danger Room; Charles Xavier dabbles in cosplay; Nightcrawler has serious hat game; Rachel Summers lacks healthy coping skills; your life would be way more epic if Claremont narrated it; Northstar is a surprisingly good prom date; Loki is a total dick; and Longshot is totally Miles’s favorite.

X-PLAINED:

  • Madelyne Pryor
  • X-Men/Alpha Flight vols. 1&2
  • The Berserkers
  • An unconventional model of family therapy
  • Aggressive foreshadowing
  • NPC dialogue
  • Jazzercise superheroes
  • Superhero color theory
  • Sasquatch
  • Aurora
  • Those Who Sit Above in Shadow
  • Norse fashion of the ‘80s
  • Very specific superpowers
  • Some sweet boots
  • The price of power
  • A deus ex machina squared
  • Kitty and Piotr’s first date
  • Snowbird’s powers
  • Miles’s favorite X-Man

NEXT WEEK: Asgardian Wars!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 43 – It’s Not a Secret If It’s in the Title

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available until 2/15/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Heroes! (Secret Wars #1)
Villains! (Secret Wars #1)
Battleworld! (Secret Wars #1)
“Also, we’ll totally show up DC and Kenner!” (Secret Wars #1)
Doctor Doom: ever the opportunist. (Secret Wars #1)
This is the best panel of Secret Wars. You can stop reading now. (Secret Wars #1)
DON’T HELP DOCTOR DOOM UP. (Secret Wars #1)
“Damn,” thinks Doom, “If I could do that, those jerky heroes would NEVER have offered to help me up.” (Secret Wars #2)
So, yeah, that happens. (Secret Wars #3)
Johnny Storm: The smoothest man in the Marvel Universe. Also, this raises some questions. Why not spell out “four”? Does he pronounce it differently? Make a hand signal? IT’S A MYSTERY. (Secret Wars #4)
How did this get past the CCA? Who the hell knows. (Secret Wars #5)
Man, if I got super high with a guy I was into and then hallucinated Secret Wars, that would pretty much be the end of that relationship. (Secret Wars #5)
“Ohhhhh, the OTHER Spider-Woman.” (Secret Wars #7)
‘Kay. (Secret Wars #8)
Meet Klaw. (Secret Wars #9)
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY THIS CAN POSSIBLY END POORLY. (Secret Wars #10)
Yeah, Colossus, but would you tumble 4 her? (Secret Wars #11)
Seriously, did these guys learn NOTHING from the Cold War? (Secret Wars #11)
Okay, that’s legitimately a pretty cool gimmick. (Secret Wars #12)
MEET YOUR PROTAGONIST. (Secret Wars II #1)
Stewart “Unflattering Caricature of Steve Gerber” Cadwall. (Secret Wars II #1)
Wellp. (Secret Wars II #1)
He’s never actually seen food, but damnit, he’s played River City Ransom! (Secret Wars II #2)
Can you imagine being any of the people the Beyonder interacts with? (Secret Wars II #2)
Remember that time Peter Parker had to teach a cosmic entity to poop? BECAUSE THAT CERTAINLY HAPPENED. (Secret Wars II #2)
Seriously, it’s all downhill from here. (Secret Wars II #2)
This will propel the plot of like two months of other comic books. Not even joking. (Secret Wars II #2)
So, then that happens. (Secret Wars II #3)
There is literally no romantic or sexual relationship in this series that is okay by any reasonable definition. Also note that AMAZING block of “next issue” text. (Secret Wars II #4)
Boom-Boom is the hands-down best thing to come out of Secret Wars II. (Secret Wars II #5)
Jim Shooter’s X-Men: “Mutant kid in need? NAH, LET’S KILL A DUDE!” (Secret Wars II #5)
Even the Thing is having trouble maintaining enthusiasm for this debacle. (Secret Wars II #7)
This is roughly how Rachel imagines Marvel Editorial circa 1985.
Reasonable. (Secret Wars II #8)
The Beyonder: Definitely a really sympathetic protagonist. (Secret Wars II #8)
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. (Secret Wars II #8)
Remember this, because it will have hella repercussions down the line. (Secret Wars II #9)
Ah, Molecule Man, one of the unforgettable heavy-hitters of the Marvel Universe. (Secret Wars II #9)
Remember that time a bunch of heroes saved the universe by murdering a baby? (Secret Wars II #9)
NEXT WEEK: Legion, with Si Spurrier!

 

43 – It’s Not a Secret If It’s in the Title

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Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available until 2/15/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints, cards, and travel mugs available until 2/15/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which we cover 21 issues in one episode; Secret Wars is a toy commercial; Jim Shooter’s X-Men are not the X-Men to which we are accustomed; Doctor Doom makes a surprisingly benevolent god; Secret Wars II is neither secret nor a war; The Beyonder learns to poop; and Boom-Boom is the best thing to come out of Secret Wars.

X-Plained:

  • Secret Wars
  • The not-particularly-secret origin of Secret Wars
  • Binary morality
  • Battleworld
  • The Wrecking Crew
  • Klaw
  • The Beyonder
  • Molecule Man
  • Doki-Doki Universe
  • Titania and Volcana
  • Zsaji
  • Secret Wars II
  • The Passion of Jim Shooter
  • Stewart Cadwall
  • What people do
  • Tie-ins
  • Pooping
  • What it means to be Spider-Man
  • Boom-Boom (Tabitha Smith)
  • The time a bunch of superheroes saved the universe by killing a baby

NEXT WEEK: Legion, with Si Spurrier!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 40 – Give Them Something to Fight (With G. Willow Wilson)

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Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Prints available until 1/25/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
The first issue of G. Willow Wilson’s Adler-Corbeau Award-winning run on X-Men, out this month!
Are you reading Ms. Marvel? YOU SHOULD BE. It is superlative.
G. Willow Wilson and Ming Doyle’s Nightcrawler story from Girl Comics #1.
Miles’s favorite Rachel Summers costume, from Excalibur #64.
Rachel’s favorite Rachel Summers costume, from Uncanny X-Men #207. Why has no one done a ballgown version of this yet? I mean: THAT NECKLINE!
No, seriously: Why are you not already reading Ms. Marvel? It is the best.
Next week: THIS DEFINITELY DOES NOT ACTUALLY HAPPEN.

Links and Further Reading:

  • G. Willow Wilson. Go read everything she’s written. It’s all splendid. GO. NOW.
  • You have until JANUARY 21 to send in your entries for the Corbeau Coloring Contest!
  • If you want to help support the podcast–and see Rachel recap and review all 52 episodes of X-Men Evolution–now might be a good time to click over to our Patreon.