Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Rachel and Miles

As Mentioned in Episode 14 – Look Upon My Man-Thing and D’Spayre

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Listen to the podcast here!

Oh, hey, it’s another cover people will be riffing on until the end of time! They were flying fast and furious in these days. (X-Men #139)
This happens to us pretty regularly with college friends. (X-Men #139)
Shoulda listened to the Leprechauns, Kurt. (X-Men #139)
This isn’t plot-relevant, We just think Nightcrawler’s Scooby Doo moment is great. (X-Men #139)
The beginning of the end of Byrne on X-Men. (X-Men #140)
Storm vs. street harassment. (X-Men #140)
Storm is a somewhat possessive mama cat. (X-Men #140)
BERSERKER! (X-Men #140)
We’re really happy for you, and we’re gonna let you finish, but Daryl is the best Wendigo in comics. (B.P.R.D.: The Universal Machine #4)
Wolverine reaffirming his humanity by helping other characters find theirs remains a running motif. (X-Men #140)
Canadians, weigh in. Is this a real thing? Do your laws actually account for Wendigos? (X-Men #140)
For X-Men #141 and 142, see Episode 6, “Days of Future Whatever.”
This cover accurately reflects Rachel’s feelings about Christmas. (X-Men #143)
TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH, WOLVEIRNE. (X-Men #143)
Lee “Better Enjoy This Arc Because She’ll Never Be Written Very Well Again” Forrester. (X-Men #143)
“Not an Alien homage!” (X-Men #143)
The fact that he straight-up cheats at pool is a pretty legit charming Cyclops detail. (X-Men #144)
X-Men #144 is, structurally and thematically, a Creepy story. Still can’t believe this was CCA-compliant.
Outside of a few moments of the Dark Phoenix Saga, there’s probably no scene in X-Men that’s been redrawn as much as this one (but never retconned). (X-Men #144)
[Insert joke about Man-Thing and erections here.] (X-Men #144)
Aw. (X-Men #144)
Rachel and Doctor Doom are bros.
“This is why we can’t have nice things or tenure-track positions.” (X-Men #145)
AHAHAHAHWHAT (X-Men #145)
Toadworld. Think about that for a minute. (X-Men #145)
And thus began a long tradition of supervillains falling for Storm. (X-Men #145)
Well, that’ll end well. (X-Men #145)
Arcade! (X-Men #146)
Doom and Arcade have some fundamental differences over the proper execution of deathtraps. (X-Men #146)
Angel, you had ONE JOB. (X-Men #146)
Storm’s secondary mutation is weaponized claustrophobia. (X-Men #146)
Seriously. Don’t piss off Storm. (X-Men #146)
Fuckin’ Murderworld, man. (X-Men #146)
She is, of course, a robot, because if there’s anything Arcade and Doom can bond over, it’s their mutual love of making robot duplicates of EVERYONE THEY HAVE EVER MET. (X-Men #146)
But not that Rogue. (X-Men #147)
Recap! (X-Men #147)
You can tell it’s bad news because she’s got special balloon borders. (X-Men #147)
Aw. (X-Men #147)
I like to imagine that both of them have, in fact, had worse first dates. (X-Men #147)
YAYBO! New stuff! Go buy some!

Links and Further Reading:

YAYBO! WE’RE ON TWITTER!

The Death-Defying Doctor Mirage

Savage Wolverine #21

All Those Signature Moves We Listed Off (We’ll Do a Visual Directory Eventually, We Promise):

FASTBALL SPECIAL VARIATIONS:

  • Fastball Special: Colossus throws Wolveine at something.
  • Phaseball Special*: Someone throws Kitty through robots

OTHER MOVES:

  • The Most Comics-Code-Adherent at What He Does*:  The thing where Wolverine has his claws out during a fight but doesn’t cut anyone.
  • Cue-ball Special*: The thing where Cyclops takes out like six bad guys with ricochets from one optic blast.
  • Slippery Slope*: The thing where Iceman tries to be awesome and ends up beating up his teammates by accident.
  • Blue-Plate Special Special*: The thing where an X-man uses their powers to prepare lunch.
  • The thing where Kitty wrecks everything by accident phasing through it.
  • The thing where everyone switches opponents mid-fight, and that’s what turns the tide.
  • The thing where Nightcrawler is awfully dashing about beating people up.
  • The thing where Storm’s claustrophobia saves the day.
  • The thing where Angel just dodges shit for like an hour instead of participating in the fight.
  • The thing where Xavier fakes his own death.
  • The thing where Cypher and/or Kitty and/or Illyana and/or Wolverine do the “Ain’t I a stinker?” thing from the control booth of the Danger Room.
  • The thing where Cyclops uses his optic blasts to slow or stop inertia or a fall.
  • The thing where Storm has no powers and STILL kicks someone’s ass into next week.
  • The thing where Colossus and Wolverine throw themselves at Magneto every goddamn time despite being made of metal.

*We made these names up. They are not official canon, but we live in hope.

14 – Look Upon My Man-Thing and D’Spayre

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In which Canada is complicated, the X-Perts join Twitter, Rachel cares about a Wolverine story, Angel had one job, Kitty Pryde is pretty cool, Cyclops gets a hat, neither of us knows how to pronounce “Aleytys,” Doctor Doom is a terrible date, and the X-Men have an awful lot of signature moves.

X-Plained:

  • Department H
  • Department K
  • Director X
  • The Weapon Plus Program
  • Weapon P.R.I.M.E.
  • Weapons I-XVI
  • The Death-Defying Doctor Mirage
  • The new normal
  • Stevie Hunter
  • The Wendigo
  • Berserker rage
  • Yard work
  • Wolverines
  • Angel’s one move
  • The N’Garai (again)
  • Lee Forrester
  • D’Spayre
  • Magic-Feather villains
  • Man-Thing
  • Doctor Doom
  • Arcade
  • Why it sucks to be Havok
  • The X-Perts’ relative areas of X-pertise
  • Cyclops vs. Storm
  • Signature moves

CORRECTIONS: Lee’s dad’s house is in Florida, not Louisiana; Doctor Doom is not in Europe but in New England, where has taken over Toad’s theme park, because that was definitely a thing.

If you’re looking for our coverage of X-Men 141 and 142—”Days of Future Past”—you can find that in Episode 6, “Days of Future Whatever.”

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

YAYBO! NEW STUFF!

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Because you demanded it asked very nicely, we have some super cool new swag in the shop!

Way back in our first episode, we discovered the word YAYBO!, the hands-down best exclamation of the Silver Age of X-Men. Ever since, you’ve been asking us to put it on a t-shirt, but we dragged our heels: after all, what design could do justice to the sheer, unbridled enthusiasm of a cry of YAYBO!?

Finally, we enlisted the help of the most enthusiastic dude we know: the Enthusiast himself, Chris Haley of Let’s Be Friends Again, who created this unbelievably kickass graphic, featuring Iceman and two very excited X-Perts:

Haley_Yaybo_Shirt

Chris’s design is also available in super souped-up print-and-card form!

Haley_Yaybo_Poster

We think Silver-Age Iceman would be proud.

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!

If you’ve been waiting patiently for a version of Dylan Todd’s sweet Magneto Made Some Valid Points design that would show up on dark t-shirts, YOUR MOMENT HAS COME:

Magneto Shirt in Purple

BUT WAIT! THERE’S EVEN MORE!

These, as well as the black-ink Magneto, and the sweet Ming Doyle pin-up–are now variously available not only as shirts and stickers, but also as tote bags, prints, posters, greeting cards, and even throw pillows. Want to send your grandmother a “Magneto Made Some Valid Points” birthday card? THAT IS NOW A THING YOU CAN DO. Please tell her “Yaybo!” for us.

As Mentioned in Episode 11 – Who Would Win in a Fight

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Listen to the podcast here!

Rachel and Miles of 2003, testing out early “Who Would Win in a Fight” hypotheses. Rachel hasn’t had long hair in years, but she still fights dirty.
Cycloptometry, from X-Factor #39.
Some of our favorite X-spinoffs.
That’s Rachel Summers, sending Kitty Pryde’s consciousness back in time in the original “Days of Future Past” comic. (X-Men #141)
Fun fact: the title of this podcast is roughly 90% Michael C. Maronna’s fault. (Photo courtesy of Will McRobb.)
Mystique and Destiny: CANONICAL AS FUCK. (Astonishing X-Men #51)
The Siege Perilous will body-swap you with a Japanese assassin, or send you to Australia, or whatever. Unless you’re Quentin Quire, anyway. (Uncanny X-Men #229)
Lee Forrester takes shit from nobody. (X-Men #143)
You can, in fact, judge this book by its cover. (Nightcrawler #1)
Would you buy logical causality from this man? YES. Yes, you would.
From That One Time Rachel Discovered Blingee and Spent Two Days Doing Nothing but Animating Starbursts on Longshot and Dazzler Covers.
Miles’s favorite superhero.
Just in case you were wondering what it looked like.
Paracyclophus, by Legitimus Maximus.
Janet K. Lee is the inventor of the Metawolverine, the most powerful creature in Canada.
Next week: The Dark Phoenix Saga!

Links and Further Reading: UncannyXMen.net

11 – Who Would Win in a Fight

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | RSS

In which we answer 45 straight minutes of your questions and alienate everyone with our answer to Jean vs. Emma, Miles is probably too nice to win in a fight, we are really into The Adventures of Pete & Pete, Rachel is the Vega to Miles’s Shepard, Excalibur is awesome, you should stop punching the DNA, Wolverine is Rogue, Longshot is the prettiest man, and Professor X is a pufferfish.

X-Plained:

  • Who would win in a fight
  • The Rachel & Miles Fastball Special
  • Cycloptometry
  • Backissues, collections, and where to find them
  • Podcaster ‘shipping
  • Spinoffs
  • Rachel Summers (more) (again)
  • Five tattoos
  • Non-X stuff we’re into
  • X-Force versus the Comics Code Authority
  • Ultimate X-Men
  • How to keep track of crossovers
  • Textual queerness
  • The Siege Perilous
  • Jean vs. Emma
  • Some good Nightcrawler and Iceman stories
  • Dream teams
  • The Glammest Timeline
  • Best and worst code names
  • Bendis’s X-books
  • X-animals

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Next week: The Dark Phoenix Saga

 

ASK US ANYTHING

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Much like Layla Miller, we know stuff. Unlike Layla Miller, neither of us has ever done it with Multiple Man.
Much like Layla Miller, we know stuff. Unlike Layla Miller, neither of us has ever done it with Multiple Man.

Miles is going on vacation soon, so this weekend, in addition to the regular episode, we’ll be pre-recording an ALL-QUESTION SPECTACULAR. Normally, we limit the questions we answer on the show to the X-Men, but this time (and this time only), anything’s game–from the comics, to the podcast, to the X-Perts ourselves. Stick your queries in the comments here or our Tumblr box, or tweet ’em to @RaeBeta with the hashtag #xplainthexmen!

We Are Comics

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R_M_wearecomics

We are Miles Stokes and Rachel Edidin, and we are comics. We’re industry professionals and long-term fans; and we host the podcast Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men.

Almost 19 years ago, in junior high, we tentatively made friends through the language of borrowed books and the common belief that the stories we care passionately about are only made richer by sharing them. We were both alienated, screwed-up kids who looked at comics and found points of identification, sources of hope–and each other. Decades later, we still do.

We believe that comics are for everyone. And we want to see an industry, community, and critical media that reflects that value.

(We Are Comics is a campaign to show—and celebrate—the faces of our community, our industry, and our culture;  to promote the visibility of marginalized members of our population; and to stand in solidarity against harassment and abuse. See Rachel’s solo post here, and submit yours here, or hashtag it “i am comics” on your own tumblr.)

Meet the X-Perts

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IMG_4062NAME: Jay Edidin

KNOWN ALIASES: @NotLasers, Pirate King of the Moon

PRONOUNS: Male

OCCUPATION: Writer / Editor

POWERS: Looks a lot like Quentin Quire

FAVORITE X-MAN: Cyclops

FIRST X-BOOK: Age of Apocalypse: Alpha

MISCELLANEOUS X-CRED: Once scored a second date by reciting the Grey/Summers genealogy from memory.

SHORT BIO: Jay spent seven years as an editor at a major comics publisher until leaving in 2013 to pursue a freelance career. As a pop-culture journalist, Jay sometimes gets paid actual, legal tender to explain the X-Men, which you can tell your parents next time they ask how knowing that Cyclops’s eyes shoot concussive force beams will help you find a job.

 

miles_hulkhandsNAME: Miles Stokes

KNOWN ALIASES: @gjallerbru

PRONOUNS: Male

OCCUPATION: SysAdmin

POWERS: Action Beard

FAVORITE X-MAN: Longshot

FIRST X-BOOK: X-Factor #4

MISCELLANEOUS X-CRED: As a child, produced a prodigious volume of X-Men fan art, which we will definitely post if we can convince his mom to part with it for long enough for us to scan it.

SHORT BIO: Ten years ago, Miles carefully placed his psychology degree in a drawer and went to work IT because it was way easier. These days, he fixes broken things for a non-mutant-related comic-book publisher and surrounds himself with as much geekery as time allows. Buy him a drink and he’ll spend the next two hours telling you about how Chris Claremont made him a feminist and that come on, guys, Gambit’s ’90s costume isn’t that bad.

 

NAME: Matt Hunter

KNOWN ALIASES: @mechlo, Moon Talk

PRONOUNS: Male

OCCUPATION: Podcast Producer/Audio Engineer

POWERS: Can clip flubbed sentences with superhuman speed and accuracy

FAVORITE X-MAN: Boomer

FIRST X-BOOK: Uncanny X-Men #304 (later bought the rest of the series)

MISCELLANEOUS X-CRED: Still owns complete collections of 1993 and 1994 Fleer Marvel Masterpieces and 1994 Fleer Ultra X men trading cards.

SHORT BIO: In 2009 Matt decided to try out this whole weird podcast thing by launching his own podcast about video games, A Jumps B Shoots. It was all downhill from there. Matt then went on to co-host and produce several podcasts including the one you’re probably listening to now! When he’s not contributing to the world of podcasts Matt also enjoys making chiptune and synthpop music from his studio in Portland, OR.

 

Because It’s About Time Someone Did

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X-Men_Vol_1_1

In September of 1963, the first issue of X-Men hit the stands, a quirky little comic about a handful of superpowered teenagers and their mentor, the telepathic Professor X, fighting to protect a world that hated and feared them.

Our names are Rachel and Miles, and we love the X-Men: all fifty years, multiple cancellations, thousands of issues, dozens of spinoffs, six feature films, three animated series, and two cancelled pilots (not to mention the brand-dubious Mutant X live-action series).

As long-time X-readers, we also recognize that the series can be–well, “daunting” is the nice word. Time travel paradoxes? The X-Men created a new splinter universe in the seconds it took you to read this sentence. Clones? Get ’em by the dozen. Retcons? Honey, let me tell you about something called the Phoenix Force.

This is the series that straight-up broke the Marvel Universe. Twice.

And so, with a new movie less than a month away, we’ve decided it’s time to step up.

rachelmilesxplain_newheaderWe’ve been explaining the X-Men informally for years–to our friends and family, to the Internet, and, occasionally, to patient strangers on the street. Now, we’re making it official, with Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men: a weekly-or-so podcast dedicated to unpacking the weird, wonderful world of our favorite superhero soap opera for newcomers and die-hard fans alike.

Daunted by complex continuity? Can’t tell a mutate from a warpie? We are here for you. We have trained for this responsibility for decades. We have the backissues, the calluses, and a really detailed map of the Summers family tree.

This weekend, we’ll be delving into the longboxes with our first episode, “The Strangest Podcast of Them All.” We hope you’ll join us!